Preview – Page 3 – Bad Movie Twins

The Crow (2024) Preview

The cat was a rousing success. His name was Mr. Whiskers and Patrick loved him with all his heart. The cat loved Mondays and hated lasagna, which went against everything he knew about cats, but he was a perfect pet despite these deficiencies. So Jamie didn’t take to the cat. So what? All that meant was that Patrick and Mr. Whiskers could spend so much more time at the Hallston Public Library. As Patrick spins around the stacks revelling in all the knowledge he could gain, Mr. Whiskers gives out a loud “Meow.” “What is it boy,” Patrick says, hurrying to a corner of the library he hadn’t yet explored. He comes to a screeching halt near Mr. Whiskers and gives out a gasp. “My word, they have comic books too?!” Patrick says. “What doesn’t this place have?!” A nearby nerd gives a snort and goes back to his comic. Patrick narrows his eyes. But there is no time to pound some dweebs. He goes to where Mr. Whiskers is crouched and his eyes alight on the comic (or more accurately, the graphic novel) that he is pawing. “But that can’t be right, Mr. Whiskers,” Patrick says confused. “It looks too sad. Jamie needs something happy.” But Mr. Whiskers is insistent, pawing and meowing even more urgently. Patrick thinks for a moment and the lightbulb goes off. “Mr. Whiskers, you are a genius.” A week later he surprises Jamie during one of his many naps. “Hey buddy,” Patrick says softly, shaking his shoulder and bringing a crate onto his bed. “You wanna say hello to my other little friend?” Jamie just rolls over and pretends not to hear him, but shoots upright as the creature in the cage gives out a loud “Caw!” That’s right! That’s the ‘Caw!’ of The Crow remake. I had my eye on this for ages, but we had to bide out time for the end of the year cycle. It’s just too good. Let’s go!

The Crow (2024) – BMeTric: 67.8; Notability: 33

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 5.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 9.3%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web, Back to Black, Here, Argylle, Kraven the Hunter, Lift, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Red One, Jackpot!, Atlas; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Air Force One Down, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Dear Santa, Trigger Warning, and 1 more; Notes: Tyler Perry had a film this year? It got 0 good reviews out of 17, that is incredible. Welp, we’ll never watch that.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – There’s a scene in the movie where Eric and Shelly are walking across a bridge and Shelly not-really-jokingly talks about jumping, and they envision a double-jump ending in their deaths, and Shelly imagines that teenagers would make shrines to them. I think that in time, teenagers will make their own shrines to this movie, in their own ways. It’s the kind of movie where, if you saw it when you were 14, you’d see it ten or twenty more times, and be inspired to check out books from the library, maybe memorize some poetry.

(Oh wowza, I really really disagree with that. That feels like a ludicrous take. No teenager is watching this film. And the idea that watching the two worst people you’ve ever met read poetry would inspire someone to do the same is a terrifying prospect indeed.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CLE3pWAAr8/

(“Quite brilliantly broken”, immediately I find these characters obnoxious. That fundamentally is the issue with the film. I always describe it as: Imagine if the worst people you’ve ever met became superheroes. Rough stuff.)

Directors – Rupert Sanders – ( Known For: Snow White and the Huntsman; Ghost in the Shell; BMT: The Crow; Notes: My god, that is a pretty dire career. Amazing that he’s only managed one BMT film.)

Writers – James O’Barr – ( Known For: The Crow; The Crow: Salvation; The Crow: Wicked Prayer; Future BMT: The Crow: City of Angels; BMT: The Crow; Notes: The writer of the comic book. His story is pretty interesting, it is worth a read, a true blue independent comic book creator.)

Zach Baylin – ( Known For: King Richard; Gran Turismo; Creed III; Bob Marley: One Love; The Order; BMT: The Crow; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for King Richard. Again a little surprised he only has one … Creed III is pretty rough.)

William Josef Schneider – ( BMT: The Crow; Notes: Kind of weird, he is an executive producer, and this is all he has basically in his filmography.)

Actors – Bill Skarsgård – ( Known For: Deadpool 2; It; Eternals; John Wick: Chapter 4; It Chapter Two; Atomic Blonde; Barbarian; The Devil All the Time; Anna Karenina; Boy Kills World; Assassination Nation; Villains; Nine Days; Simple Simon; Arn: The Kingdom at the End of the Road; Behind Blue Skies; Naked Singularity; Simon och ekarna; The Crown Jewels; Kenny Begins; Future BMT: Allegiant; BMT: The Crow; Notes: Swedish. I did like him in It. And nice, he voiced the Deviant Kro in the MCU… I wonder when that is coming back.)

FKA twigs – ( Known For: Honey Boy; BMT: The Crow; Notes: Really no offense, but she was perplexing in this movie. I’ve heard good things about Honey Boy though, maybe I should watch that to get a better sense of her range.)

Danny Huston – ( Known For: Wonder Woman; Children of Men; The Aviator; Robin Hood; Game Night; 21 Grams; 30 Days of Night; The Constant Gardener; Leaving Las Vegas; The Kingdom; Marie Antoinette; Big Eyes; Edge of Darkness; Hitchcock; The Proposition; Stolen; Birth; Stan & Ollie; The Professor; IO; Future BMT: How to Lose Friends & Alienate People; The Warrior’s Way; Marlowe; BMT: X-Men Origins: Wolverine; Clash of the Titans; The Number 23; Wrath of the Titans; Angel Has Fallen; The Crow; Notes: He plays the bad guy. I feel like I know his as big bads in things like Angel Has Fallen. He’s apparently in the new Naked Gun starring Liam Neeson. That could be wild.)

Budget/Gross – $50 million / Domestic: $9,275,659 (Worldwide: $23,999,106)

(I mean, horrific. The idea of making The Crow at all is one thing, but making it like this? Then you deserve to lose money. This movie is actually genuinely kind of offensive towards the source material.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 22% (29/134): Dreary and poorly paced, this reimagining of The Crow doesn’t have enough personality or pulse to merit the resurrection.

(It doesn’t. But also it changes everything about it to something worse. You might think I’m joking but it literally takes every single thing about the original movie and makes it worse.)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s like an anti-entertainment protest. – Robert Abele, Los Angeles Times

Poster – The Bro

(Boy that’s bad. I like the font, but only because it’s drawn. But this just doesn’t look professional to me. Like fan art or something. C-.)

Tagline(s) – True love never dies. (C+)

(This is almost comically generic, but it’s also appropriate, so I’m a bit torn. I’ll boost it up a bit. But really the general concept of a film isn’t also its tagline usually.)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Road House (2024), The Substance (2024), The Beekeeper (2024)

Future BMT: 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024), 61.6 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 27.4 Slingshot (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 19.0 Reagan (2024), 16.7 Here (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), Night Swim (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)

Best Options (Action): 67.6 The Crow (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)

(This was by far the best one. And Again, when we watched this Red One wasn’t out yet, otherwise … well, we would have probably watched both because we would have moved this one somewhere else. There was no way we were missing out on The Crow.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Danny Huston is No. 3 billed in The Crow and No. 4 billed in The Number 23, which also stars Virginia Madsen (No. 2 billed) who is in Firewall (No. 3 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (3 + 4) + (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 19. If we were to watch Marlowe we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

Notes – When asked if he had seen the trailer for this film, Ernie Hudson replied, “I haven’t seen it. The actor – who I can’t name – is playing the lead, I love and respect. But for me, ‘The Crow’ is Brandon Lee. I can’t imagine… let’s hope they don’t try to redo him, that they do their own thing with it and take it in a different direction. I haven’t seen [the trailer]. I haven’t seen any of the other ‘Crow’ [movies] because of what happened to Brandon.” In an earlier interview in 2021, Hudson explained he hadn’t even seen the 1994 original, saying, “It breaks my heart, and I can’t get past it. So much of it was action stuff, but Brandon and I got a chance to work together.”

Luke Evans, while still working on the production of The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014), held a live Facebook Q&A. During some of the questions that he personally responded to, when asked about joining the “The Crow” reboot as the leading character, Evans stated that he felt inclined to drop out from the project as he felt “unworthy” of portraying the late Brandon Lee’s most iconic role.

F. Javier Gutiérrez was at one point courted to direct the film, but not as a remake. Crow creator J. O’Barr admitted in an interview that he was impressed when he saw that Gutierrez’s take would be a black-and-white shot-for-shot remake of the original graphic novel using both panels and dialogue directly from the source material for story-boarding to be as faithful as humanly possible to the comic. Due to production troubles and delays in shooting, Gutierrez dropped out to direct Rings (2017).

At one point the Crow film was intended to be called “The Crow Reborn” based on a screenplay by Cliff Dorfman being an original story about an undead police officer returning to avenge his family. The script attracted the attention of Jason Momoa, who was then cast in the lead role, but the production fell through when Momoa left because he didn’t like the constant rewrites which wore away any semblance of the Dorfman script, turning it into more of a remake of the 1994 film and less the original story he signed on for. Dorman himself disowned the resulting film after seeing a screening, posting his response to possible fan skepticism of the film’s quality writing simply, “It is. And don’t.”

During a Reddit AMA, Shannon Lee, sister of Brandon Lee was asked if there should be a remake of The Crow (1994) to which she responded, “I don’t think they should remake ‘The Crow.’ Booooo!”

The Garfield Movie Preview

Jamie was clearly depressed. While it had seemed that he had gone through all the stages of grief in a matter of moments and lived his life to the fullest with Samantha, it now was clear that that was all a mask. That he was stuck at stage four and couldn’t shake it. Patrick tried everything. He baked him his favorite cake (an inverse cake where the cake was actually the icing and the icing was the cake), but he barely took a nibble. He showed him his favorite film (not a film, really, but just the motorcycle sex scene from Woman of Desire), but he didn’t even crack a smile. He read him his favorite poem (the poem that Rocky reads Adrian in Rocky II), but his eyes remained dry. Even during their daily gymnastics/dance workout Patrick barely gave it his all and called it a day after just two and half hours. “I don’t know what to do,” Patrick says sadly over the phone to Kyle. Kyle couldn’t move to Hallston with his burgeoning family back home but was able to offer at least one piece of advice. “You know, maybe if the usual things aren’t working you have to look outside your own experiences.” After hanging up, Patrick walks to Hallston’s local public library and looks in the “Sad” section. There he finds a book “Are You Sad?” After flipping through it for a moment his eyes alight on a page that makes his eyes gleam. “Library, you’ve done it again, you glorious bastard.” A week later he surprises Jamie at home during one of his lengthy wall-staring sessions and opens a small crate. “Say hello to my little friend,” Patrick says, coining a wholly original phrase. From the box comes a tiny meow. That’s right! It’s the 2024 cycle and we’re doing the hottest cat movie around. Unfortunately 2024 still hasn’t delivered the Heathcliff movie the Gucci crowd is clamoring for, so we’ll settle for The Garfield Movie… ah… well. Alas. Let’s go!

The Garfield Movie (2024) – BMeTric: 37.4; Notability: 54

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 13.6%; Notability: top 1.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.7%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies, The Crow, Night Swim, The Strangers: Chapter 1, Tarot, Trigger Warning, The Exorcism, Imaginary, Joker: Folie à Deux, Mother of the Bride, Hellboy: The Crooked Man, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Mea Culpa, The Deliverance, Breathe, Time Cut, and 14 more; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Dear Santa, Trigger Warning, The Strangers: Chapter 1, and 25 more; Notes: The Notability is insane on this. Only Joker 2, Borderlands, and … Reagan? Wait, Reagan had over 50 people involved in it with a wikipedia page? That makes no sense.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – I cannot think of a single reason for another Garfield movie, and apparently, the people who made this couldn’t, either. It reminds me of the legendary comment about “Nancy,” which, like “Garfield,” was originally a comic strip known for the spareness of its design and the helium-weight lightness of its humor. When asked to explain “Nancy,” someone once said, “It takes less energy to read it than to skip it.” Those who have children pestering them to see “Garfield” will feel the same way about this film. It’s not awful. It may be too much to say that kids will enjoy it, but it is probably fair to say they will feel that they have been entertained. But those accompanying the children may feel dispirited by the emptiness that emanates from a film that is just an IP cash grab. And parents may have some concerns, discussed below.

(That quote about Nancy is hilarious. And yeah, that is basically how this film feels. It was easier just to watch it than to try and think about something else to watch.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yk2Ej59DnrE/

(Is this trailer real …. Am I going crazy. It is just repeating over and over with a song behind it. Are they going to grow up and the movie explained a little at all? Am I going crazy? It is on the Sony Pictures Entertainment channel … It tags Snoop Dogg, so he would have done something about it if it was fake. It says Final Trailer. I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW IS THIS A TRAILER WHY IS THIS MAKING ME WANT TO WATCH THIS FILM. This is infuriating.)

Directors – Mark Dindal – ( Known For: The Emperor’s New Groove; Cats Don’t Dance; Future BMT: Chicken Little; BMT: The Garfield Movie; Notes: It is kind of weird … because I felt like Chicken Little was relatively well received, but actually it qualifies. He was like the main guy behind The Emperor’s New Groove, which was excellent, but also apparently was a mess behind the scenes.)

Writers – Mark Torgove and Paul A. Kaplan – ( BMT: The Garfield Movie; Notes: He wrote for television, and even then mostly an episode at a time. Seems like an interesting career path.)

David Reynolds – ( Known For: Finding Nemo; Mulan; The Emperor’s New Groove; Atlantis: The Lost Empire; Fantasia 2000; Future BMT: Chicken Little; BMT: The Garfield Movie; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Finding Nemo. Weird he didn’t get a credit for Finding Dory. He has some sort of TV Movie series called Captain Jokes Parrot … Oh I get it, Captain Jack Sparrow.)

Jim Davis – ( BMT: Garfield: The Movie; Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties; The Garfield Movie; Notes: He made the comic strip. Watch the I Think You Should Leave sketch about the woman who bought his house.)

Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg – ( Known For: Bad Teacher; Good Boys; BMT: Year One; Notes: Genuinely curious if they are actually going to make a Bad Teacher 2 ever. Seems unlikely. Isn’t Cameron Diaz semi-retired?)

Actors – Chris Pratt – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Guardians of the Galaxy; Avengers: Infinity War; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Jurassic World; Her; Moneyball; Thor: Love and Thunder; Wanted; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; The Lego Movie; Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; Zero Dark Thirty; The Super Mario Bros. Movie; The Tomorrow War; The Magnificent Seven; Onward; Jennifer’s Body; The Five-Year Engagement; Delivery Man; Future BMT: Passengers; What’s Your Number?; Take Me Home Tonight; Jem and the Holograms; BMT: Jurassic World Dominion; Bride Wars; Movie 43; The Garfield Movie; Notes: His career path is incredible. By which I mean it has now crossed over and become a bit embarrassing. I mean, I would take the money, but like The Electric State I think maybe marks him crossing the Rubicon into Bruce Willis cash grab territory.)

Samuel L. Jackson – ( Known For: Pulp Fiction; Django Unchained; Inglourious Basterds; The Avengers; Avengers: Endgame; Goodfellas; Avengers: Infinity War; Iron Man; Jurassic Park; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Thor; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Captain America: The First Avenger; Iron Man 2; Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith; The Incredibles; Kill Bill: Vol. 2; Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones; Kingsman: The Secret Service; Future BMT: The Legend of Tarzan; Sphere; Star Wars: The Clone Wars; Spiral; Basic; The Spirit; Loaded Weapon 1; Formula 51; The Man; One Eight Seven; Life Itself; Freedomland; Amos & Andrew; Fluke; Strictly Business; BMT: Jumper; Glass; Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Argylle; xXx: State of the Union; Shaft; Twisted; The Garfield Movie; Notes: It is kind of crazy to realize he was nominated for an Oscar for Pulp Fiction. I guess I never quite realized how mainstream it was. Three acting nominations is crazy.)

Hannah Waddingham – ( Known For: Les Misérables; The Fall Guy; Hocus Pocus 2; Winter Ridge; Future BMT: How to Lose Friends & Alienate People; BMT: The Hustle; The Garfield Movie; Notes: Won a Primetime Emmy for Ted Lasso (3 nominations) and nominated again for Krapopolis as a voice actor. Hocus Pocus 2 was awful, I really don’t get how they botch those legacy-quels so consistently.)

Budget/Gross – $60 million / Domestic: $91,956,547 (Worldwide: $257,211,519)

(That isn’t bad at all. Not at all. And that is why making a dumb Garfield movie can never be a bad deal. Even when the plot is about reuniting Garfield with the father no one knew about because he wasn’t in the comic strip at all.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 37% (50/136): The Garfield Movie rolls along at a zany enough clip to be diverting for kids, but this animated adventure doesn’t much resemble Jim Davis’ iconically grumpy creation.

(It does not, and that is the main crime. It is one thing to be trite and dumb. It is another to be trite and dumb and also not to resemble the thing you are trying desperately to mimic.)

Reviewer Highlight: Hyperkinetic stuff, lots of famous voice stars, almost no relationship to the original source… it just left me thinking of Bill Murray. – Mark Kermode

Poster – Heathcliff: The Movie

(It’s very orange. I like that. I like the font. It’s clever in some ways. It’s not perfect, obviously, but I like what they did here. B+.)

Tagline(s) – He gets bigger. (C+)

(My brain isn’t totally comprehending what we have here but… I think I like it… I think. Like he’s a fat cat, right? And this is a movie, which is bigger than a comic strip, right? OK. Are we sure this shouldn’t have been “He gets even bigger”? I’m going to be kind to this one.)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Best Options (Comedy): 37.4 The Garfield Movie (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)

(Rest Assured, Red One wasn’t out yet when we watched this movie. So Harold and the Purple Crayon was the other one and there was no way I was watching that. That somehow looked even more trite than this did.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Samuel L. Jackson is No. 2 billed in The Garfield Movie and No. 3 billed in Jumper, which also stars Michael Rooker (No. 5 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 4 billed) => (2 + 3) + (5 + 4) = 14. If we were to watch The Spirit, and The Black Dahlia we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Garfield shown as a kitten crosses the street there is a place he passes by called Lorenzo’s Music Store which is a nod to Garfield’s original voice actor Lorenzo Music.

Frank Welker, who’s voiced Garfield since 2007, expressed his disappointment at not being asked to voice the character for this film.

The code that Garfield uses to unlock his phone is ‘061978’, the date of the first “Garfield” comic strip.

The number on the waste container where Garfield is left behind is the date of the very first Garfield comic strip, 06-19-78.

The scene of Jon bathing Garfield is reminiscent of the September 5, 1978 strip, where Jon is also seen wearing a helmet and gloves while giving him a bath. Likewise, the follow-up comic has Jon dry up Garfield, which results in Garfield being all fluffed up, much like in the movie.

Night Swim Preview

With that, Samantha turns and picks up a rock from the Bin of Rocks and turns to perform the ceremonial destruction of her previous entry on the Wall of Lovers. While Brad and Alejandro’s ghosts are a bit annoyed by this, they also understand that it was never them. It was always Jamie. There is no other way but to take a Rock to their false love. Four or five Rocks later and covered in sawdust, Samantha turns to Jamie. Together they use a Lover’s Chisel to begin carving the heart that will represent their forever love. It takes hours, interrupted only by intense makeout sessions the likes of which the roller skaters at the roller rink could only dream of. When they finish, Jamie turns to Samantha and asks what’s next. With tears in her eyes she whispers, “Life.”

Months later, Jamie stands on the shores of Hallston Lake. He had moved to Samantha’s hometown and they had indeed lived. But now he was alone. Well, almost. Because Patrick had also moved to Hallston to be there for Jamie in his time of need. “Hey buddy,” Patrick says kindly. “You thinking you want to head back to Brooklyn? Maybe start in on the third book of the Platonic Solids series? How’s that sound?” But that didn’t sound good at all to Jamie. “No… no I don’t think so,” Jamie says monotonously. “I just… need to… go for a swim,” he says looking at the moonlight bouncing off of Hallston Lake. With that he strips entirely nude and wades into the depths of the ice cold lake. Patrick is worried. It was very unlike Jamie to go midnight skinny dipping without eating a large surf and turf dinner immediately beforehand. That’s right! We are taking our own chilly dip into spooky waters with Night Swim. It’s about a haunted swimming pool. Given the impossibility of actually connecting to the 2024 cycle from the 80’s by definition, we built a bicycle with an (ironically) equally spooky horror film, Transylvania 6-5000. A movie that even me, a child of Comedy Central, barely knew existed. Finally we are pairing those with our final Friend of the Bring a Friend cycle: Revolution. It’s the Al Pacino film that doomed the Revolutionary War genre of film for decades. Let’s go!

Night Swim (2024) – BMeTric: 67.5; Notability: 16

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 13.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 7.0%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies, The Crow; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web, Back to Black, Here, Argylle, Kraven the Hunter, Lift, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Red One, Jackpot!, Atlas, The Union, The Crow, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, My Spy The Eternal City, Harold and the Purple Crayon, A Family Affair, and 13 more; Lower RT: Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Air Force One Down, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas; Notes: The only thing to do with 2024 films is to highlight ones we aren’t watching I suppose. Uglies is a hilarious one. It might as well be the Platonic Solids series, but somehow unironic. With an objectively attractive woman (Joey King) being the titular “ugly”. It’s nuts. I’ll probably read the book long before I watch this movie.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, it’s “Night Swim,” your annual January horror movie from the folks at Blumhouse. … The reveal of the entity that’s causing all this terror is laugh-out-loud hilarious, though, and I’m going to choose to assume that was McGuire’s intention. “Night Swim” also features amusing turns in small, supporting roles from Nancy Lenehan as the Minnesota-nice real estate agent who sells the family the house and Ben Sinclair as an oddball pool technician. And Russell clearly knows what movie he’s in as evidenced by some of his line deliveries, which are innocent and earnest in the face of increasingly absurd circumstances. It’s as if he’s beckoning us: Come on in, the water’s fine.

(Do I believe that any of this is ironic? … No, I don’t. Are there jokes in horror films? Yeah, there always has been. The idea that any level of absurdity means all levels of irony are possible I think is an issue in modern filmmaking. This movie isn’t a good horror film. It fails at that at any level. Intentionally failing is not the same as succeeding.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhlLO3Nb3sY/

(The Billie Eilish sting is absurd. The movie looks like it could be scary, but something about it (the heavy reliance on young actors maybe) points to this as a disaster in the making.)

Directors – Bryce McGuire – ( BMT: Night Swim; Notes: It is a littler interesting. He has nothing on the docket. That is pretty abnormal for a young director I feel like.)

Writers – Bryce McGuire – ( Known For: Baghead; BMT: Night Swim; Notes: He wrote and directed the short film this is based on as well. Again, the idea that he is ironically making this a bad movie is absurd.)

Rod Blackhurst – ( Known For: Blood for Dust; BMT: Night Swim; Notes: This guy also wrote and directed the short, but didn’t direct the feature length. He has two on the docket though, both horror films.)

Actors – Wyatt Russell – ( Known For: 22 Jump Street; Cowboys & Aliens; This Is 40; Overlord; The Woman in the Window; Escape from L.A.; Everybody Wants Some!!; Ingrid Goes West; Cold in July; We Are What We Are; Shimmer Lake; Goon: Last of the Enforcers; Love and Honor; High School; At the Devil’s Door; Blaze; Folk Hero & Funny Guy; BMT: Soldier; Table 19; Night Swim; Notes: The son of Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn. He’s now in the MCU as <checks notes> John Walker? Whatever. He’s also in some sort of Steven Spielberg film that is coming out.)

Kerry Condon – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Captain America: Civil War; Spider-Man: Homecoming; Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; The Banshees of Inisherin; Unleashed; This Must Be the Place; Ned Kelly; Dom Hemingway; Bad Samaritan; Angela’s Ashes; In the Land of Saints and Sinners; The Last Station; Intermission; Dreamland; Gold; Rat; How Harry Became a Tree; BMT: Night Swim; Notes: She was nominated for an Oscar for Banshees of Inisherin. And also she voiced the new AI in all the Avengers films.)

Amélie Hoeferle – ( Known For: The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes; BMT: Night Swim; Notes: The daughter. This is legit just her second feature film, she did shorts prior. None of her upcoming projects immediately ring a bell. She is German apparently.)

Budget/Gross – $15 million / Domestic: $32,494,740 (Worldwide: $54,768,317)

(That isn’t bad. As usual, horror films basically can’t lose money. This almost certainly made a return, although maybe not as much as they sometimes hope on these low budget films.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (34/173): Despite a promising start and a handful of solid scares, Night Swim is undone by a premise that just isn’t strong enough to support a feature-length film.

(That makes sense since it is actually just a short extended to full length. I don’t think there are any good scares though.)

Reviewer Highlight: Condon’s fierce yet heartfelt performance and the underwater sequences keep Night Swim treading water, but the high concept novelty wears out its welcome quickly for seasoned horror fans who’ve seen this scenario play out so many times before. – Meagan Navarro, Bloody Disgusting

Poster – Night Sklog

(Nicely spooky and artsy. Wish the font tried a bit more with that watery effect. Can barely see it. Not bad, though. B+.)

Tagline(s) – Everything you fear is under the surface. (B+)

(It’s straining a little too much and is a little too long to warrant getting up into A range. I can see what they are doing. Under the surface with the double meaning. Implication about the aspect of the plot. It’s clever, but they couldn’t quite get there.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Back to the Future (1985), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), Die Hard (1988), The Terminator (1984), Scarface (1983), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Future BMT: 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 59.1 Suburban Commando (1991), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.6 Ghost Dad (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Who’s That Girl (1987), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 53.5 Graffiti Bridge (1990), 52.5 Johnny Be Good (1988), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 49.3 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.7 Hercules (1983), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)

BMT: Jaws: The Revenge (1987), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Jaws 3-D (1983), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Going Overboard (1989), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), Mac and Me (1988), Caddyshack II (1988), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Howard the Duck (1986), Supergirl (1984), Cool as Ice (1991), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987), Leonard Part 6 (1987), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Superman III (1983), Poltergeist III (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Wild Orchid (1989), Cyborg (1989), Problem Child 2 (1991), Rhinestone (1984), Red Sonja (1985), Troll (1986), Bolero (1984), …

(This is a hold over from Transylvania 6-5000. We didn’t have a true way to transition from the mid 80s to now, so we have to do a biCycle of sorts.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 23) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Wyatt Russell is No. 1 billed in Night Swim and No. 7 billed in Table 19, which also stars Anna Kendrick (No. 1 billed) who is in What to Expect When You’re Expecting (No. 3 billed) which also stars Jennifer Lopez (No. 1 billed) who is in Gigli (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 7) + (1 + 3) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 23. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 23.

Notes – The real life house location used for the family home on screen doesn’t actually fully connect to the garage, so the pool can be seen from the front yard. A facade was added to make it look like one full structure and to block the pool from the view in the front of the house.

The school that the kids attend is named Harold Holt. Holt was an Australian Prime Minister who was an avid swimmer and disappeared, and presumably died, while swimming in the ocean.

In 2018, director Rod Blackhurst and writer Bryce McGuire sold a feature length adaptation of their short film Night Swim (2014) about a woman terrorized in her pool by an evil spirit to James Wan’s Atomic Monster. McGuire is set to direct.

Wyatt Russell’s dad, Kurt Russell, was actually a very good minor league baseball player and would have made the MLB if it were not for an injury.

Transylvania 6-5000 Preview

Transylvania 6-5000 (1985) – BMeTric: 47.3; Notability: 29

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.4%; Notability: top 12.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 9.8%; Higher BMeT: Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, Howling II: … Your Sister Is a Werewolf, Red Sonja, Porky’s Revenge, King Solomon’s Mines, Perfect; Higher Notability: A View to a Kill, Spies Like Us, My Science Project, King David, Maxie, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, Santa Claus, Perfect, Rocky IV, Brewster’s Millions, Head Office, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment, Invasion U.S.A., Turk 182, Death Wish 3, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, The Slugger’s Wife, Heaven Help Us, Godzilla 1985, Creator, and 12 more; Lower RT: American Ninja, That Was Then… This Is Now, Head Office, Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer, The Slugger’s Wife, Maxie, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, King Solomon’s Mines, King David, Once Bitten, My Science Project, Private Resort, Fever Pitch, Death Wish 3, Summer Rental, Tuff Turf, Gymkata, Rustlers’ Rhapsody, Perfect, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, and 2 more; Notes: I’m continually a little amazed when I realize we still have such big movies left. Howling II, Porky’s Revenge, King Solomon’s Mines. These are bad movie classics when you are in the know. We’ve watched a crazy number of bad movies, but the job never ends.

New York Times – The actors in ”Transylvania 6-5000,” which opens today at Loew’s State and other theaters, seem to have the impression that they are doing something funny, though where they got that idea is anybody’s guess. It cannot have come from the screenplay, which was written by Rudy DeLuca, who also directed the film, as a series of utterly listless comic setups. It’s not that Mr. DeLuca has done anything wrong, exactly; it’s simply that he never does anything right. There’s no reason for this material to be funny, so, not surprisingly, it never is.

(I mean … fucking nailed it. It is true, it is basically an improv troupe where nothing is working quite like you’d expect despite the setups being there.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulPZNXkpa5s/

(It’s cute. The movie is aggravating, but the trailer is actually like not that bad. In that it is taking the best part of the film and delivering in small doses like it is intended. Like it looks like it might work … rest assured it does not.)

Directors – Rudy De Luca – ( BMT: Transylvania 6-5000; Notes: He was an actor in a bunch of Mel Brooks films as well, including playing Vinnie in Spaceballs.)

Writers – Rudy De Luca – ( Known For: High Anxiety; Silent Movie; Caveman; Box Office 3D: The Filmest of Films; Screw Loose; The Good Bad Guy; Future BMT: Dracula: Dead and Loving It; Life Stinks; BMT: Transylvania 6-5000; Notes: He won two Emmy for writing on the Carol Burnett Show. Eventually he also did a bunch of variety shows as well.)

Actors – Jeff Goldblum – ( Known For: Jurassic Park; The Grand Budapest Hotel; Thor: Ragnarok; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Independence Day; The Lost World: Jurassic Park; Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; Annie Hall; The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou; The Fly; Isle of Dogs; The Prince of Egypt; Asteroid City; The Switch; Morning Glory; Invasion of the Body Snatchers; The Player; The Right Stuff; Cats & Dogs; Wicked; Future BMT: Man of the Year; Holy Man; Hideaway; Vibes; BMT: Jurassic World Dominion; Independence Day: Resurgence; Mortdecai; Nine Months; Transylvania 6-5000; Mad Dog Time; Notes: Nominated for a short Oscar in 1996. These days he manages to be notable as being the weirdest and wildest part of the Wicked films.)

Joseph Bologna – ( Known For: Ice Age: The Meltdown; My Favorite Year; The Big Bus; Alligator II: The Mutation; Coupe de Ville; Jersey Girl; Love Is All There Is; Chapter Two; Boynton Beach Club; Cops and Robbers; Tango Shalom; Made for Each Other; Mixed Company; Heaven Before I Die; Future BMT: Big Daddy; The Woman in Red; BMT: Blame It on Rio; Transylvania 6-5000; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for writing Lovers and Other Strangers in 1971. He died of cancer in 2017.)

Ed Begley Jr. – ( Known For: Pineapple Express; Ghostbusters; This Is Spinal Tap; Whatever Works; Best in Show; An Officer and a Gentleman; Book Club; Strange Darling; A Mighty Wind; You’re Not You; Lucky; Streets of Fire; Cat People; Get Over It; She-Devil; The Accidental Tourist; Plus One; For Your Consideration; Auto Focus; Hardcore; Future BMT: What’s Your Number?; The Pagemaster; Renaissance Man; Greedy; Protocol; Fly Me to the Moon 3D; Young Doctors in Love; BMT: Batman Forever; Amsterdam; CHIPS; Transylvania 6-5000; Notes: Nominated for 7 Emmys, 6 times for St. Elsewhere. He never won. His role in Hardcore is insane, and the son of Ed Begley who won an Oscar for Sweet Bird of Youth. I obviously know him as being in the later seasons of Veronica Mars, he was the president of the College she goes to.)

Budget/Gross – $3,000,000 / Domestic: $7,196,872 (Worldwide: $7,196,872)

(That is better than I would have expected I guess. The economics of mid-80s film is confusing because I doubt they made much on television of home video, but they probably got more from the theaters as well. Seems like a break even.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (2/10)

(There is really only one review here and the gist is: This might be the worst horror-comedy you’ll ever see. The guy ain’t wrong … although things like Dylan Dog exist so who knows.)

New York Times Short Review: Strained Frankenstein spoof. Forget it.

Poster – Sklogsylvania 69-6969, Nice

(A great classic poster style. What’s funny is that by today’s standards this doesn’t work. Too much going on. Nothing to anchor to. Like reading a book rather than an advertisement. But if a modern movie made an alternate poster in this style it would be fun. B.)

Tagline(s) – WANTED: Two thrill-seeking reporters, brains optional, looking to dig up the story of the century. For information call… (F)

(We were in that transition period where posters were changing. Taglines were changing. A (bad) relic from that bygone era.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

(There isn’t really a sub-genre here, so I didn’t include it. We were just looking for a good 80s film to pair with Night Swim, and this came up as one to do.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jeff Goldblum is No. 1 billed in Transylvania 6-5000 and No. 3 billed in Trigger Happy, which also stars Burt Reynolds (No. 6 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 5 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 3) + (6 + 5) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch Paranoia we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – The movie was financed by the Dow chemical company in order to spend frozen finances (money that could not be spent outside the country of origin) that the company had in Yugoslavia.

Jeff Goldblum recommended Ed Begley Jr. to the director for the role of Gil Turner and Begley recommended Michael Richards for the role of Fejos.

Much of the scene between John Byner and Carol Kane preparing the lunch was improvised. The script’s only direction was ‘cut fruit and serve’.

The little girl playing Elizabeth’s daughter, Sara Grdjan, was a locally cast Croat who spoke no English. She had to be taught to speak her lines phonetically.

The director saw 40 women for the role of Odette. They liked Geena Davis and when she pulled off a compelling Bela Lugosi accent, they knew they had their Odette.

Rocky V Preview

Jamie, Samantha, Patrick and Kyle all quadruple group hug. Tears and snot mingle on their shirts. For a brief shining moment Samantha sees her roller rink beaus looking down from heaven nodding and giving her a thumbs up. “I couldn’t help but overhear,” Patrick says, when the group hug had run its course, putting emphasis on the word ‘overhear’ in order to really hammer home the lessons they all learned that day. “But what ever happened to Alajandro and Brad?” Samantha smiles sadly. “In a wild coincidence they also had vague terminal illnesses. It was part of why they were engaging in the particularly risky activities of drag racing and rollerskating on the day I met them. They each, separately and unknown to the other, had nothing left to live for… I guess that is until they met little ol’ me. And then once they were gone,” with that her voice catches and she runs her hand across a faded heart carved in the Wall of Lovers. “Once they were gone I also didn’t have much to live for and so why not take part in an obvious sham Fashion Week? Why not dress as half a horse? I just didn’t count on meeting my actual other half that day.” Jamie and Samantha share a passionate kiss. The smooch goes on and on, seemingly (and in actuality) for hours. It would have been extremely uncomfortable for Patrick and Kyle to stand there watching them if it wasn’t so beautiful. A beautiful unique tragic love. A tear runs down Kyle’s face as he ponders the beautiful unique mannequin he will craft to remember this moment by. Samantha and Jamie break their kiss and with eyes shining Samantha asks, “You wanted to know what was next?” Jamie nods. “It’s time to Rock.” That’s right! It is time to rock. Rocky IV and Rocky V that is. Rocky IV hasn’t always qualified, so we are jumping at that chance. Rocky V? That’s always qualified. For a Friend we are bringing along The Invisible Maniac. It’s about a maniac that turns himself invisible. It’s all there in the title. Let’s go!

Rocky V (1990) – BMeTric: 55.1; Notability: 52

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 4.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.7%; Higher BMeT: Captain America, Look Who’s Talking Too, The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter, Ghost Dad, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III; Higher Notability: RoboCop 2, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Predator 2, Days of Thunder, Jetsons: The Movie, Young Guns II, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Air America, Marked for Death, The Rookie, Captain America, Stella; Lower RT: Problem Child, Death Warrant, Graveyard Shift, Repossessed, Loose Cannons, Soultaker, Madhouse, Funny About Love, Captain America, Ghost Dad, Fire Birds, Spaced Invaders, Meet the Applegates, Where the Heart Is, Heart Condition, Ernest Goes to Jail, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Look Who’s Talking Too, Air America, Everybody Wins, and 27 more; Notes: I literally cannot believe Rocky V played on television as much as it did (72 times). It is also interesting that the top BMeT films are often just not that popular. Here Captain America played 17 times, but the next three after played 66, 51, and 32 times. Robocop 2 also played 54 times. Anyways, of all the Rocky films this is the big gun from a Notability and BMeT perspective.

New York Times – Rocky, Buffeted by Fists and Life, Returns to His Roots – HIDDEN in the attic at the Balboa manor house are a black leather jacket, an old sweatshirt and a porkpie hat, relics of the Rocky of yore. Early in “Rocky V,” the humbled ex-champ is forced to take these things, put them back on and go home to palookaville (in this case, South Philadelphia), as if he had never been noisily and conspicuously on top of the world. … It’s a smart move. There’s life in the old boy yet.

(MY GOD. How embarrassing for the New York Times. And that’s Janet Maslin, that ain’t no scrub watching this film. I can see the point … it just doesn’t square with the last 10 minutes of the film.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2_k8p3RQx4/

(An unscrupulous promoter ehhhhhhhhh. It is kind of insane that they don’t actually fight in the film. It is ridiculous that they don’t even have the fight. It is effectively what Rocky Balboa is about.)

Directors – John G. Avildsen – ( Known For: Rocky; The Karate Kid; The Karate Kid Part II; Lean on Me; Inferno; The Power of One; Neighbors; Save the Tiger; Joe; The Formula; A Night in Heaven; Hurry Sundown; W.W. and the Dixie Dancekings; Happy New Year; Cry Uncle; Guess What We Learned in School Today?; Slow Dancing in the Big City; Foreplay; The Stoolie; Future BMT: The Karate Kid Part III; 8 Seconds; For Keeps?; BMT: Rocky V; Notes: Nominated for Traveling Hopefully, and won Best Director for Rocky. Kind of amazing he managed to make both the best and worst Rocky film.)

Writers – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Rocky; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Homefront; Creed III; F.I.S.T.; Paradise Alley; Future BMT: Staying Alive; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Rambo: Last Blood; Cobra; Over the Top; Driven; Rhinestone; Notes: He has only ever been nominated for Rocky films. Which … I mean looking at his writing credits, that makes perfect sense.)

Actors – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Rocky; Men in Black; The Suicide Squad; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Escape Plan; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Antz; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Cop Land; M*A*S*H; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Samaritan; Future BMT: Staying Alive; Ratchet & Clank; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Demolition Man; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Judge Dredd; Tango & Cash; Rambo: Last Blood; Assassins; Cobra; Daylight; The Specialist; Zookeeper; Grudge Match; Over the Top; Lock Up; The Expendables 4; Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Driven; Get Carter; Oscar; Rhinestone; Notes: Although, I do think people think Cop Land is the one people point to and say: that is where he should have been nominated or even won. I do like the performance, but the film is just a little blah.)

Talia Shire – ( Known For: The Godfather; The Godfather Part II; Rocky; The Godfather Part III; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; I Heart Huckabees; Palo Alto; Megalopolis; New York Stories; Sly; She’s So Lovely; Rad; Prophecy; The Sparks Brothers; The Dunwich Horror; Deadfall; Homo Erectus; Gas! -Or- It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It.; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; Notes: I did not realize Talia Shire was in Rad. She played Mrs. Jones. And now I need to see this film.)

Burt Young – ( Known For: Rocky; Once Upon a Time in America; Chinatown; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Win Win; New York, I Love You; Transamerica; Mickey Blue Eyes; Back to School; Convoy; Sly; Rob the Mob; The Pope of Greenwich Village; She’s So Lovely; The Killer Elite; Across 110th Street; Last Exit to Brooklyn; The Gambler; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; The Adventures of Pluto Nash; Going Overboard; Amityville II: The Possession; Notes: I find it crazy he was third billed here, it obviously should have been Stallone’s son. His son’s performance is crazy in this, but also it is quite bad.)

Budget/Gross – $42 million / Domestic: $40,946,358 (Worldwide: $119,946,358)

(This isn’t bad, but yeah, it is obvious the series had ended once the domestic take didn’t hit $100 million. I can’t imagine what Rocky VI would have been though … I guess him training his son?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 32% (12/38): Rocky V’s attempts to recapture the original’s working-class grit are as transparently phony as each of the thuddingly obvious plot developments in a misguided installment that sent the franchise flailing into longterm limbo.

(I cannot believe this has a 32% on Rotten Tomatoes. This film is genuinely horrid. And yeah, Rocky V is exclusively the reason this franchise went dark for years.)

New york Times Description: Scraping the barrel. Sweaty and juiceless.

Poster – Rock ’em Sock ’em V: Maybe Lay Off the Socking For a Bit

(Really terrible. Also very funny that the whole film is based on the idea that he’s training the next big Rocky sensation, but the poster is more or less “not so fast.” D.)

Tagline(s) – Go for it! (F)

(Not this one. Go back to the one that implies the fight in the film is actually on the level of a world war.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

(Kind of crazy this isn’t one of the tops. The only one worth anything there I think is The Karate Kid Part III. That series really really goes off the rails.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 9) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sylvester Stallone is No. 1 billed in Rocky V and No. 1 billed in The Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 9. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.

Notes – Sylvester Stallone originally planned to make the effects of Rocky’s brain damage much more visible and painful to see, but altered these plans after watching a few days of footage because the sight of Rocky like that was “like seeing your favorite dog with dysplasia.”

During shooting, John G. Avildsen felt that cinematographer Steven Poster was over-lighting many scenes. He told Poster he wanted the film to look more like Rocky (1976), in which James Crabe often used a single spotlight to light an entire scene (such as the opening boxing match). Poster told Avildsen that the original film “looked like a cheap documentary”. Avildsen smiled and said, “Exactly”.

In an interview with Jonathan Ross, Sylvester Stallone was asked to rate each of the “Rocky” movies out of 10. He gave this movie zero.

Sylvester Stallone originally toyed with the idea of killing Rocky off at the end of the film. The plan was that Rocky would die in an ambulance on its way to the hospital with Adrian by his side. At the hospital, she would have announced to the world of his passing and his spirit would live on with a final flashback of the famous scene of him running up the steps. Stallone ultimately abandoned this concept and rewrote the ending.

This is the first movie where Rocky’s real name, Robert, is used. When Rocky first meets Tommy Gunn, as George Washington Duke pulls up in his limo, Duke says “Mr. Robert ‘Rocky’ Balboa!”

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Irwin Winkler, Robert Chartoff)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Sylvester Stallone)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Talia Shire)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Burt Young)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (John G. Avildsen)

Rocky IV Preview

Rocky IV (1985) – BMeTric: 10.9; Notability: 54

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 16.0%; Notability: top 3.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.6%; Higher BMeT: Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, Howling II: … Your Sister Is a Werewolf, Red Sonja, Porky’s Revenge, King Solomon’s Mines, Perfect, Transylvania 6-5000, Creature, Gymkata, American Ninja, Private Resort, Invasion U.S.A., Once Bitten, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment, Death Wish 3, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, Avenging Angel, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, King David, A View to a Kill, and 20 more; Higher Notability: A View to a Kill, Spies Like Us, My Science Project, King David, Maxie, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, Santa Claus, Perfect; Lower RT: American Ninja, That Was Then… This Is Now, Head Office, Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer, The Slugger’s Wife, Maxie, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, King Solomon’s Mines, King David, Once Bitten, My Science Project, Private Resort, Fever Pitch, Death Wish 3, Summer Rental, Tuff Turf, Gymkata, Rustlers’ Rhapsody, Perfect, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, and 24 more; Notes: Obviously quite low BMeTric. If you look at the top 10 there, this guy played the most in the 90s (63 times), but Red Sonja is close behind (62 times). I do love that Gymkata played 35 times. There is something about that movie which felt like it was a modern 2000s rediscovery, but presumably a ton of people watched it in the 90s and that is how it became a cult film.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The “Rocky” series is finally losing its legs. It’s been a long run, one hit movie after another, but “Rocky IV” is a last gasp, a film so predictable that viewing it is like watching one of those old sitcoms where the characters never change and the same situations turn up again and again. Even Sylvester Stallone seems to be getting tired of the series; as the writer and director, as well as the star, he puts himself through the same old paces.

(I suppose the irony would be that Rocky as a series is basically still going, and not only that but the third Creed film is making all the same mistakes as Ebert is pointing out here. Time is a flat circle.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kp1e9ReSD0E/

(Apollo nooooooooooooooooo! Insane that they just mention that in the first trailer. The music sting at the end though is immediately a classic. The movie looks insane and amazing. Which it is.)

Directors – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: The Expendables; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Paradise Alley; Future BMT: Staying Alive; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; Notes: He didn’t direct as much as I really remember, although he directed more Rockys than I would have thought. He is likely to never direct again as well, he seems to be doing smaller films plus writing these days.)

Writers – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Rocky; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Homefront; Creed III; F.I.S.T.; Paradise Alley; Future BMT: Staying Alive; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Rambo: Last Blood; Cobra; Over the Top; Driven; Rhinestone; Notes: Staying Alive is upcoming and yeah … that means we are going to legit be done with Sly the writer and director. He does have an upcoming writing gig though, but I’m somewhat convinced that will be review-proof to some degree.)

Actors – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Rocky; Men in Black; The Suicide Squad; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Escape Plan; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Antz; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Cop Land; M*A*S*H; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Samaritan; Future BMT: Staying Alive; Ratchet & Clank; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Demolition Man; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Judge Dredd; Tango & Cash; Rambo: Last Blood; Assassins; Cobra; Daylight; The Specialist; Zookeeper; Grudge Match; Over the Top; Lock Up; The Expendables 4; Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Driven; Get Carter; Oscar; Rhinestone; Notes: And then there will be only Ratchet & Clank in the new year. When we watch Staying Alive that will be our 25th Stallone film. Insane. He seems a bit busy with Tulsa King these days to churn out stinkers.)

Talia Shire – ( Known For: The Godfather; The Godfather Part II; Rocky; The Godfather Part III; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; I Heart Huckabees; Palo Alto; Megalopolis; New York Stories; Sly; She’s So Lovely; Rad; Prophecy; The Sparks Brothers; The Dunwich Horror; Deadfall; Homo Erectus; Gas! -Or- It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It.; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; Notes: Nominated twice for Oscars for The Godfather Part II and Rocky. She was amazing in The Godfather Part II, and she is by far the best thing in some of these later Rocky films even though she doesn’t get much to do and people make fun of her for it.)

Burt Young – ( Known For: Rocky; Once Upon a Time in America; Chinatown; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Win Win; New York, I Love You; Transamerica; Mickey Blue Eyes; Back to School; Convoy; Sly; Rob the Mob; The Pope of Greenwich Village; She’s So Lovely; The Killer Elite; Across 110th Street; Last Exit to Brooklyn; The Gambler; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; The Adventures of Pluto Nash; Going Overboard; Amityville II: The Possession; Notes: Oh wow, we finished off Burt Young. I suppose I just always expected there to be another random weird 80s Burt Young to go to in the end. Rocky was really a phenomenon, he was also nominated for an Oscar for it.)

Budget/Gross – $28 million / Domestic: $127,873,716 (Worldwide: $300,473,716)

(Gigantic. Rocky V truly is so terrible is scared even the money-making machines of Hollywood away from the series for a decade or two. This isn’t even a good movie and it just easily breaks $250 million in the 80s.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 39% (20/51): Rocky IV inflates the action to absurd heights, but it ultimately rings hollow thanks to a story that hits the same basic beats as the first three entries in the franchise.

(Juuuuuuust right there. Indeed it hasn’t qualified for years, but just a few months ago that switched and Rocky IV became a qualifier again. We would have watched it regardless.)

New York Times Description: This time he boxes a Soviet giant. Guess who wins.

Poster – Rock ’em Sock ’em IV: Sockin’ Again

(Spoiler alert! It’s OK. Just wish it didn’t spoil the end. S for spoilees.)

Tagline(s) – Get ready for the next world war. (B+)

(Holy shit. That’s not clever but it is great. I want to give it an A, but I’m a stickler for the tagline as everyone knows.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

Best Options (franchise): 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Rocky V (1990), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 47.2 Big Top Pee-wee (1988), 45.7 Children of the Corn (1984), 44.8 American Ninja (1985), 44.7 Missing in Action (1984), 41.9 House II: The Second Story (1987), 41.4 Speed Zone (1989), 41.0 Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987), 40.9 The Delta Force (1986), 38.0 House Party 2 (1991), 37.7 Return of the Living Dead II (1988), 34.0 Ernest Saves Christmas (1988), 33.4 Death Wish 3 (1985), 31.3 Ernest Scared Stupid (1991), 31.0 Jetsons: The Movie (1990), 30.1 Creepshow 2 (1987), 26.6 National Lampoon’s European Vacation (1985), 24.2 A View to a Kill (1985), 24.1 Oh, God! You Devil (1984), 17.7 Phantasm II (1988), 17.4 Best of the Best (1989), 15.1 The Black Stallion Returns (1983), 10.9 Rocky IV (1985)

(This isn’t the one we did, we did Rocky V for this. It is kind of crazy Rocky V isn’t more reviled. It is actually truly trash, and bizarre to boot.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 9) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sylvester Stallone is No. 1 billed in Rocky IV and No. 1 billed in The Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 9. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.

Notes – Sylvester Stallone decided that for the shooting of the fight, he and Dolph Lundgren should hit one another for real, so as to increase the intensity of the scene. After doing three takes of Rocky taking shots to ribs, Stallone felt a burning in his chest, but ignored it. Later that night, he had difficulty breathing and was taken to a nearby emergency room. It was discovered that his blood pressure was over 200, and he had to be flown on a low-altitude flight from Vancouver, Canada to St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica, where he remained in intensive care for four days. What had happened was that Lundgren had punched him so hard in the chest, Stallone’s heart had slammed up against his breastbone and began to swell, cutting off the blood supply and restricting the oxygen flow throughout the body. . However, when asked about whether or not it really happened while answering a series of fan questions in a 2021 interview with the Guardian, Lundgren claimed to have no recollection of the incident. “I don’t know,” he said. “[Stallone] keeps talking about it, so maybe he’s right. He did go to the hospital, but I don’t know whether it was my punches or the fact that he was so overworked as the director, actor and writer. We shot those 15 rounds over two or three weeks, eight or 12 hours a day, so you’re throwing thousands of punches. If you don’t connect, it looks a bit fake, but it doesn’t mean you want to hurt the other guy. But there were no hard feelings.” He went on to explain that stand-ins and stunt doubles were rarely used, and that he has performed the majority of his own stunts and fight scenes–but that this has changed in more recent years. “Back in the day, you had to do it all yourself: Rocky IV, The Punisher, Masters of the Universe, all the Expendables,” he said. “I’ve jumped from a motorcycle to a truck; dangerous things I would never do now. Staying physically fit over the years has been nice. There aren’t many actors who can stay physically fit for a long time. Part of the game is trying to look fit, at least.”

“Rocky IV” became the highest-grossing film in the “Rocky” series to date, taking in just over 300 million dollars worldwide.

During filming, Dolph Lundgren and Carl Weathers really did not get along and got into an altercation. Lundgren threw Weathers into a corner of the boxing ring. After that, Weathers shouted profanities at Lundgren while leaving the ring and announced that he was calling his agent and quitting the movie. Only after Sylvester Stallone forced the two actors to reconcile did the movie continue. This event caused a four-day work stoppage while Weathers was talked back into the part and Lundgren agreed to tone down his aggressiveness.

James Brown is seen performing the song “Living In America” prior to the Creed vs. Drago match. The song was released as a single from the movie’s soundtrack and became Brown’s first Top 40 single in eleven years, and the last of his career.

Over 8,000 people auditioned for the part of Ivan Drago. Dolph Lundgren was first turned down by the casting directors for being too tall but later on, he got the chance to send photos and meet Sylvester Stallone who told him he had a good chance to get the part, but advised him to gain twenty pounds of muscle. In total, it took Lundgren several months to win the part.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Irwin Winkler, Robert Chartoff)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Sylvester Stallone)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Burt Young)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Brigitte Nielsen)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Talia Shire)

Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo Preview

“What?” Samantha says, frustrated that even her totally rizz new entry in the Holly Ween series didn’t get through to Jamie. “So I just need to dream again and then I’ll make sure to listen… like in your book,” Jamie says, adding the last part as he had forgotten that he was supposed to have already figured this out because of the book. But how could he be expected to interpret the hidden themes of a book when it was so ill and dope? “Alright,” Samantha starts again, “are you listening?” Jamie nods, staring intently. “I am dying.” Jamie gasps. He asks all the obvious questions. How? When? What? “It just happened,” Samantha says sadly, tears in her eyes. “I first noticed it in my elbow three years ago while practicing the shot put. But it ended up being more serious than that. It’s hard to explain. Just complex and vague really, but I assure you it’s terminal.” Jamie is blubbering at this point. “Who? Why? Where?” He gets out, not sure what else to say. Samantha hugs him, hoping he now understands why she ran. Why she ran so far away. All night and day… but she couldn’t get away. Not from this love. Jamie suddenly pulls away. “No!” he yells, “no, I don’t believe it. I’m going to punch those doctors that made you believe this. Just really punch them hard in the arm. Or maybe if we just get a second opinion then it’ll turn out they were wrong.” At this his face crumples and he begins to blubber again. Once he finishes he looks up, hope and love shining in his eyes. “What now?” he asks, accepting his new reality. Patrick looks on and his heart breaks for them. Kyle’s heart is breaking too. That’s right! We are pulling double dancin’ duty by watching both Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. These are classics of the genre, so there’s not much more to say. As for the Friend, we went full nostalgia for this one and did Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure. Boy, I haven’t seen that since I was a little kid. Should be fun. Let’s go!

Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984) – BMeTric: 35.2; Notability: 49

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 5.6%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 11.0%; Higher BMeT: Supergirl, Ghoulies, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Rhinestone, Bolero, Cannonball Run II, Children of the Corn, Missing in Action, Sheena, City Heat, C.H.U.D., Conan the Destroyer, The Ice Pirates, Exterminator 2; Higher Notability: Dune, Cannonball Run II, City Heat, Supergirl, Firstborn; Lower RT: The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Bolero, Exterminator 2, Reckless, Thief of Hearts, Crackers, Until September, Ghoulies, Blame It on Rio, Supergirl, Sheena, Cannonball Run II, Windy City, The Ice Pirates, American Dreamer, Missing in Action, Rhinestone, Tank, Mutant, Purple Hearts, and 4 more; Notes: Yeah, I actually kind of figured. This played 57 times on television. I genuinely thought that the thing about the two films was that the sequel is more ridiculous so it would get more play on television in the end. We did the run down for 1984 (wait, these films came out the same year for real?), so I’ll leave it by mentioning that The Ewok Adventure played 36 times on television which is both hilarious and expected (Disney needed to get their money’s worth in the end). Battle for Endor also played around the same amount, 34 times.

RogerEbert.com – 3 stars – Movie musicals used to be allowed to be goofy and lightweight, but in recent years they’ve turned into ponderous, overbudgeted artifacts that take themselves so seriously you feel guilty if you’re having a good time. Remember all the self-importance of “Annie“? That’s why a modest, cheerful little movie like “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo” is so refreshing. Here is a movie that wants nothing more than to allow some high-spirited kids to sing and dance their way through a silly plot just long enough to make us grin.

(Wowza, now that is a review. I would say he ain’t wrong … but he’s kind of wrong. There are moments of belief suspension that really don’t work in this film and I think that is what sinks it. Once Turbo can be cured by the power of dance the entire film loses a bit of its tension since, presumably, they could also use dance to magic money out of thin air if they wanted to.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnNLY8yDwyk/

(Ooooo that Cannon logo just kills it everytime. … Is Ice-T good? His rap in this trailer is insane. And haha the eeeeeeevil land developer is so hilarious looking. The whitest oldest richest looking guy in the universe. Wait … huh, the title is listed as Breakin’ 2 is Electric Boogaloo in the trailer. That is something to follow up on.)

Directors – Sam Firstenberg – ( Known For: American Ninja 2: The Confrontation; Revenge of the Ninja; Ninja III: The Domination; Avenging Force; American Samurai; Cyborg Cop; Delta Force 3: The Killing Game; Cyborg Cop II; The Alternate; Quicksand; Motel Blue; Riverbend; Future BMT: American Ninja; BMT: Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: Was a big Dudikoff guy way back in the day. He really dabbled in it all though, e.g. Cyborg Cop II with David Bradley. Definitely a director we should be looking to for friends.)

Writers – Allen DeBevoise, Jan Ventura, and Charles Parker – ( BMT: Breakin’; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: Characters, one and all.)

Julie Reichert – ( BMT: Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: Once again, it begs the question as to why they didn’t get actual screenwriters for these movies. They replaced the original three people with … another person who never wrote a screenplay.)

Actors – Lucinda Dickey – ( Known For: Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films; Ninja III: The Domination; Cheerleader Camp; BMT: Grease 2; Breakin’; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: Her mother was a long time dance instructor in Kansas and that is where she got her start.)

Adolfo Quinones – ( Known For: Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films; Lambada; BMT: Tango & Cash; Breakin’; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: We already went over this, his stage name was Shabba-Doo. Legitimately he is considered one of the forefathers of hip-hop dancing, an original Locker, and was an Original Soul Train Gang member.)

Michael Chambers – ( Notes: By all accounts his fashion was what influenced the 80s Michael Jackson style as he was his dance coach for 8 years.. Which is amazing, because we go from Boogaloo Shrimp -> Michael Jackson -> Corey Feldman in Dream a Little Dream. A direct line!)

Budget/Gross – $3 million / Domestic: $15,101,131 (Worldwide: $15,101,131)

(That’s more like it. It does seem like they gave it a bit more budget and got half the return and decided that they didn’t need to push their luck further. I do think, as Ebert says, this was influential by showing what a full blown “dance” movie could be, but also it shows how you do still need a plot.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (2/7)

(Consensus would be: “A wonderful kind of terrible that is beautiful and wonderful. Ebert is right, who gives a shit about story, let’s dance!”)

New York Times Description: Dancers stage show to save community center.

Poster – Sklogin’ 2: Electric Toblerone

(Oh my gawd, it’s even better. This is an A+++++++++. Are there more plusses I can add to it. My word. It’s beautiful in the most ironic way possible.)

Tagline(s) – Believe in the beat that’s on the street, it’s hoppin’ and poppin’, they’re breakin’ and lockin’. (F)

(Nah. This isn’t working for me anymore.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

(Again, I don’t know why, but this wasn’t counted as a franchise. In a way we maybe should have considered Revenge of the Nerds II. Firstly, because the first is aggressively uncouth by today’s standards. And second because despite seeing the first a dozen times on Comedy Central growing up, I’ve never seen the second.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 23) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Lucinda Dickey is No. 1 billed in Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo and No. 1 billed in Breakin’, which also stars Ice-T (No. 7 billed) who is in Surviving the Game (No. 1 billed) which also stars Charles S. Dutton (No. 3 billed) who is in Random Hearts (No. 3 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (7 + 1) + (3 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 23. If we were to watch Unforgettable we can get the HoE Number down to 18.

Notes – The phrase “Electric Boogaloo” has become a common unofficial sub-title for any unnecessary sequel.

To film a scene with dancers breakdancing on walls, the makers borrowed the rotating room from A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984). To show thanks, a picture of Freddy’s glove is hanging on the wall.

Inspired by real-life events. The Radio-Tron, a youth center near MacArthur Park, Los Angeles, faced demolition. Youth director Carmelo Alvarez rallied the youth and community to march to Los Angeles City Hall and try to save the Radio-Tron.

This sequel was green-lit and rushed into production less than a year after the original film.

Christopher McDonald was offered the chance to reprise his role of James from Breakin’ (1984). He turned it down.

Breakin’ Preview

Breakin’ (1984) – BMeTric: 24.5; Notability: 33

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.8%; Notability: top 7.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 13.2%; Higher BMeT: Supergirl, Ghoulies, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Rhinestone, Bolero, Cannonball Run II, Children of the Corn, Missing in Action, Sheena, City Heat, C.H.U.D., Conan the Destroyer, The Ice Pirates, Exterminator 2, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Ninja III: The Domination, Blame It on Rio, The Woman in Red, Protocol, and 2 more; Higher Notability: Dune, Cannonball Run II, City Heat, Supergirl, Firstborn, Protocol, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, The River, Unfaithfully Yours, American Dreamer, Conan the Destroyer, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, The Woman in Red, The Ice Pirates, Rhinestone, C.H.U.D., Sheena, Reckless, Exterminator 2; Lower RT: The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Bolero, Exterminator 2, Reckless, Thief of Hearts, Crackers, Until September, Ghoulies, Blame It on Rio, Supergirl, Sheena, Cannonball Run II, Windy City, The Ice Pirates, American Dreamer, Missing in Action, Rhinestone, Tank, Mutant, Purple Hearts, and 9 more; Notes: Only played eight times on television, which is, again, a surprise because I would think this could play anytime so would play afternoons on random channels, but nope. Supergirl played 29 times, Ghoulies 8 times, and Rhinestone 32 times. This is a rare year where we’ve only seen 5 of the top 10 BMeT films, so we really have to get on the Children of the Corn series.

New York Times – Break-Dancing Stars – “Breakin’,” which opened yesterday at the National and other theaters, features a number of good, mostly small-scale demonstrations of break-dancing, the energetic street choreography that is now in process of being co-opted and merchandized by big-time show business.

(Basically, the complaint seems to boil down to: enough with the story, I want more dancing! He ain’t wrong.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFC5yYW58TM/

(Alright, strike that the music in this one is incredible. And the beginning of the trailer is just groin shots over and over. I’m not complaining. Just to be clear. Don’t be mistaken’ I’m going to watch Breakin’.)

Directors – Joel Silberg – ( Known For: Lambada; The Best of Enemies; Rappin’; Catch the Heat; BMT: Breakin’; Notes: My god, he directed Prison Heat. Also Rappin; and Lambada! This guy is clearly a legend. He died in 2013.)

Writers – Charles Parker – ( BMT: Breakin’; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: Literally just this movie and characters on the sequel. There isn’t a “real” write on this whole thing (no offense intended).)

Allen DeBevoise – ( BMT: Breakin’; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: Alright, well this guy did some producing after, although nothing of major note.)

Gerald Scaife – ( BMT: Breakin’; Notes: Crazy, he only wrote this movie, but he’s apparently a construction estimator / accountant for major films. He did Titanic!)

Actors – Lucinda Dickey – ( Known For: Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films; Ninja III: The Domination; Cheerleader Camp; BMT: Grease 2; Breakin’; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: So Grease 2 she was just a random female Greaser. After these two films she did Ninja III and then retired as she got married in 1990.)

Adolfo Quinones – ( Known For: Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films; Lambada; BMT: Tango & Cash; Breakin’; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: Bonafide break dancing legend by all accounts. His dance name was Shabba-Doo. He was also in Lambada and apparently did some breaking on Married… with Children.)

Michael Chambers – ( Notes: His name was Shrimp. Ignore the lack of detail here, he was actually in a bunch of movies, he just isn’t clearly in TMDb. My favorite credit is that he was Good Robot Bill in Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. One of the bad guys was Good Robot Ted.)

Budget/Gross – $1.2 million / Domestic: $38,682,707 (Worldwide: $38,682,707)

(This was huge! What the hell. I would never have guessed how much money this made. No wonder they rushed a second film into production, they were apparently sitting on a goldmine!)

Rotten Tomatoes – 33% (3/9)

(That is genuinely better than I would have expected. Once again the consensus is like: If they would just let Turbo and Ozone cook this movie would be fire, instead it gets bogged down by insisting this movie have a plot.)

New York Times Description: Breakdancers. Some good hopping, period.

Poster – Sklogin’

(I mean, yes. This is exactly the poster for Breakin’ and what it should be. It’s crazy terrible. D+ for the font.)

Tagline(s) – Push it to Pop it! Rock it to Lock it! Break it to Make it! (A+++++++)

For The Break Of Your Life! (B-)

(The first is obviously life-changing. The second is better than you think. Just reading it, you’d think it was terrible. But it’s kind of clever, if a bit clunky. Trust me, you’ll end up loving it.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

(It would just be off of this list, as the second is the one we are actually doing here, but also for whatever reason this series isn’t on the franchise list … I guess maybe they don’t technically count franchises where there are only two films?)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 21) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ice-T is No. 7 billed in Breakin’ and No. 1 billed in Surviving the Game, which also stars Charles S. Dutton (No. 3 billed) who is in Random Hearts (No. 3 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (7 + 1) + (3 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 21. If we were to watch Unforgettable we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – In the first “street dancing” scene, in which Kelly accompanies Ozone and Turbo to the beach, the audience watching the dancing is comprised of surfers and beach bums. A man in a black singlet claps with the music. It’s Jean-Claude Van Damme in his first on-screen appearance. According to Van Damme, he tried hard to draw attention to himself by jumping in the air and doing flips, but they were not included in the film.

According to Lucinda Dickey, Adolfo Quinones would often try to show her up and make her feel intimidated because of her dancing ability and their clashes within the film rang true with his personal resentment for her which was also shared by their co-star Michael Chambers.

The film uses two of Ice-T’s early instrumental raps; Tibetan Jam and Reckless. The producers later used Tibetan Jam as background music in Missing in Action (1984).

The idea for the film came from Menahem Golan’s daughter who one day while at the beach saw a group of break dancers performing before a crowd.

This was Cannon Films most financially successful movie as distributor.

From the Hip Preview

“In my dream (a rather small dream now that I recall it) we are running through a forest. It’s a forest of lies, but also those lies/trees are birch trees… We are just like swinging around dem birches, right? Swinging all over the place and it feels pretty damn good. Then we swing on up to the top of a hill and we are smooching… hard. We make out for a while. This is actually most of my dream. It was in actuality a large dream just in terms of duration, but small if you write out the plot or recount it like I’m doing now. Because you can just say ‘and then we smooched… hard’ and that covers like 95% of the dream. Anyway, once we are done smooching you turn your head away in anguish. I try to pull you back to the birch trees so we can swing around a bunch more, but you say you can’t. You cradle your elbow and say that you’ve been trying to tell me something but I never listen. Then you begin to tell me what has been bothering you, but at this point I’m remembering swinging around in the birch trees and smooching and then I’m like ‘woah, am I daydreaming within this dream?’ and you’d think that by acknowledging the dream that it would end, right? But no. When I stop daydreaming you are looking peeved and say ‘Perhaps this will make you listen.’ When I look down you’ve pulled a tiny gun from your hip pocket. It’s so tiny that I actually start to laugh, but then you shoot! You shoot me with the little gun! And I wake up!” Jamie stands staring back at Samantha, appearing rather pleased with himself. Samantha is bewildered. That’s right! That connection was a bit of a stretch, but we are watching the Judd Nelson vehicle that everyone remembers, From the Hip… yup, that movie that you can just imagine because you remember it so well. As for the Friend, we are pairing that with a classic of the genre in Surf Nazis Must Die. We saw this for the first time in high school, but not since. Interested in how it holds up all these years later. Let’s go!

From the Hip (1987) – BMeTric: 13.1; Notability: 26

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 17.6%; Notability: top 12.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 16.6%; Higher BMeT: Jaws: The Revenge, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Teen Wolf Too, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, Leonard Part 6, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol, Surf Nazis Must Die, Who’s That Girl, Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise, Masters of the Universe, Ghoulies II, Return to Horror High, House II: The Second Story, Death Wish 4: The Crackdown, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Over the Top, Burglar, Cherry 2000, Flowers in the Attic, and 24 more; Higher Notability: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Masters of the Universe, Who’s That Girl, Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol, Jaws: The Revenge, Fatal Beauty, Leonard Part 6, Cherry 2000, Blind Date, Burglar, Over the Top, The Sicilian, House II: The Second Story, My Demon Lover, Death Wish 4: The Crackdown, The Believers, Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise, Hot Pursuit, Slam Dance, Rent-a-Cop, and 12 more; Lower RT: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, Hot Pursuit, Return to Horror High, Rent-a-Cop, My Demon Lover, The Allnighter, Jaws: The Revenge, Leonard Part 6, Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise, House II: The Second Story, Teen Wolf Too, Hello Again, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, The Sicilian, Ghoulies II, Russkies, The Squeeze, Surf Nazis Must Die, Siesta, and 19 more; Notes: I’m actually a little surprised this only played 13 times on cable in the 90s, this seems perfect for filling up a random cinemax slot. We’ve watched 6 of the top 10 for 1987, and I’m going to guess Teen Wolf Too has an insane number of cable plays (74! I knew it, that movie was on all the time). Surf Nazis Must Die played 16 times, more than From the Hip! I only knew of it because for some reason my brother knew enough about it to rent it for a bad movie night.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – I have a notion that a lot of moviegoers in Nelson’s generation will respond to his performance. There’s so much insecurity around right now, so much desperate competition for success, that the notion of a rebel inside corporate America is curiously attractive. If I am right and if our society is poised once again on the brink of a rerun of the 1960s, if Reagan is our Eisenhower, if the campuses are primed to revolt, then “From the Hip” is “The Graduate” of 1987. If I’m wrong, of course, it’s just a very silly movie. Somehow I think I’m wrong.

(This seems to be a trend in some of the reviews of the film: that yeah, people liked Nelson’s performance in this. The film is more fun than it has any right to be, quite similar to …And Justice for All.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPjkWFB4FwY/

(I must say the fact that this isn’t about someone who holds a dog bone in their mouth at any point is crazy considering the poster. I’ll also say … isn’t this the plot of And Just For All… more on that in the recap I suppose.)

Directors – Bob Clark – ( Known For: A Christmas Story; Black Christmas; Murder by Decree; Dead of Night; Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things; Blonde and Blonder; My Summer Story; Tribute; I’ll Remember April; Now & Forever; She-Man: A Story of Fixation; Breaking Point; Future BMT: Porky’s; Porky’s II: The Next Day; Loose Cannons; Turk 182; BMT: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2; Baby Geniuses; Rhinestone; From the Hip; Notes: Him slipping into kids films and then his career exploding after Baby Geniuses is something else indeed. We have to do Porky’s at some point, maybe I’ll buy it on VHS.)

Writers – Bob Clark – ( Known For: A Christmas Story; Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things; My Summer Story; She-Man: A Story of Fixation; Future BMT: Porky’s; Porky’s II: The Next Day; Porky’s Revenge; Loose Cannons; BMT: Baby Geniuses; From the Hip; Notes: He died in 2007. Apparently he is one of only two directors who had a movie on both the Loved and Hated lists by Ebert (the other was Reiner).)

David E. Kelley – ( Known For: Lake Placid; Future BMT: Mystery, Alaska; To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday; BMT: From the Hip; Notes: One of the big names in television still to this day. He’s been nominated for 25 Emmys, and won 11, variously for Big Little Lies, Ally McBeal, The Practice, Picket Fences, and L.A. Law. Is this movie a proto-L.A. Law? L.A. Law started in 1986, but this script may have existed for a while prior to that.)

Actors – Judd Nelson – ( Known For: The Breakfast Club; Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day; St. Elmo’s Fire; The Transformers: The Movie; New Jack City; Billionaire Boys Club; Nurse; Fandango; Have a Good Trip; Brats; The Dark Backward; Bad Kids Go to Hell; Madness in the Method; Never on Tuesday; Relentless; Making the Grade; The Freediver; Netherbeast Incorporated; Hail Caesar; Future BMT: Airheads; Light It Up; BMT: Steel; From the Hip; Blue City; Notes: Y’all know Judd. His post-Brat Pack career is weird. I am very very excited to eventually watch Airheads again though, it is a very fun and genuinely good movie.)

Elizabeth Perkins – ( Known For: Finding Nemo; Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse; Ghostbusters; Big; Cats & Dogs; Miracle on 34th Street; Speak; About Last Night; Fierce People; Avalon; Try Seventeen; Indian Summer; The Doctor; My Little Pony: A New Generation; Jiminy Glick in Lalawood; The Thing About My Folks; Love at Large; Sweet Hearts Dance; Enid Is Sleeping; I’m Losing You; Future BMT: 28 Days; Hop; Must Love Dogs; Crazy in Alabama; He Said, She Said; Moonlight and Valentino; Kids in America; BMT: The Ring Two; The Flintstones; From the Hip; Notes: Man, she was huge back in the day. I got very confused for a second about who she was in Ghostbusters, but that is the 2016 Ghostbusters. Nominated for 3 Emmys for Weeds.)

John Hurt – ( Known For: V for Vendetta; Alien; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2; Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1; Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; Snowpiercer; Hellboy; Contact; Hellboy II: The Golden Army; Perfume: The Story of a Murderer; The Elephant Man; Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy; Spaceballs; Melancholia; Immortals; Hercules; Dogville; Only Lovers Left Alive; Dead Man; Future BMT: The Skeleton Key; Valiant; Thumbelina; King Ralph; Lost Souls; Partners; Jake Speed; BMT: Captain Corelli’s Mandolin; Wild Bill; From the Hip; Notes: Nominated for two Oscars for The Elephant Man, and Midnight Express. I still need to watch Midnight Express. I read the book and it was just on the wrong side of depressing so I needed some time to process before watching the movie.)

Budget/Gross – $9 million / Domestic: $9,518,342 (Worldwide: $9,518,342)

(Not what you want. I wonder how much of the budget went into some of the location shoots. The locations in this film are quite fun, but probably cost a bit to film at.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 30% (7/23): From the Hip finds Judd Nelson flexing previously unseen acting muscles, but this legal comedy is too grating to pass the bar.

(Too grating?! I guess I can see it, but that is the point. Again, it isn’t that much different than …And Justice For All where the main character is defending a monster and has to vaguely figure out how to get out of the situation deftly.)

New York Times Description: A showoff rookie lawyer in Boston.

Poster – Dog Lawyer

(You may not remember this film, but this is a very well known poster in my head. It’s such an F- it comes all the way around and is an A+. What a disaster. Who made this?)

Tagline(s) – Getting To The Top Means Working Like A Dog! (F)

The way he practices law should be a crime (A-)

(The first makes no sense and yet they turned around and made it the basis of the whole thing. The second one is actually not bad. Just needs to be a little tighter.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

Best Options (Flintstones): 57.6 Ghost Dad (1990), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 44.8 King Ralph (1991), 42.0 Club Paradise (1986), 41.6 Loose Cannons (1990), 41.0 Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987), 37.9 Invaders from Mars (1986), 36.5 Burglar (1987), 34.0 Hero and the Terror (1988), 31.0 Jetsons: The Movie (1990), 29.0 He Said, She Said (1991), 28.4 The Presidio (1988), 27.2 Flight of the Intruder (1991), 26.0 Bad Dreams (1988), 24.6 The Survivors (1983), 24.5 Sunset (1988), 21.6 Dead Heat (1988), 20.6 Spies Like Us (1985), 20.3 Strictly Business (1991), 18.9 Head Office (1985), 17.9 Brewster’s Millions (1985), 17.7 Skin Deep (1989), 15.9 Worth Winning (1989), 13.6 Stella (1990), 13.0 From the Hip (1987)

(Ha! Well, what you didn’t know is that we needed to do From the Hip in order to chain up into 2024. These days bad movies are at such a premium they pretty much dictate any and all chain films for the back half of the year.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: John Hurt is No. 3 billed in From the Hip and No. 3 billed in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (3 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 15. If we were to watch Must Love Dogs, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – At his son’s elementary school, writer-produce-director Bob Clark offered a silent auction prize allowing the winner to go to Charlotte in North Carolina and go behind the scenes during the filming of this movie. After friends of the family won the auction, Clark allowed the entire family to be extras / background artists in a scene rather than just observers.

TV producer Steven Bochco hired writer David E. Kelley to write for his television series L.A. Law (1986) after reading this script.

Star Judd Nelson was Razzie Award nominated for this movie in the category of Worst Actor at the 1988 Golden Raspberry Awards but lost out Bill Cosby for Leonard Part 6 (1987).

Attorney David E. Kelley showed his spec screenplay to his law firm’s client, Indian Neck Productions, who optioned it and then recruited the film’s director Bob Clark.

This legal courtroom comedy drama was written by David E. Kelley who was actually a law attorney in Boston, Massachusetts, USA.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Judd Nelson)

Dream a Little Dream Preview

Plain Jane is back, Jack! Third time’s a charm, but is it third time’s a… love?! Who would have thought that Plain Jane Never-Been-Kissed would have two dreamboat guys fighting over her? Not this girl, that’s who. Alejandro has shown up in the Big Apple professing his love for Holly and Brad has returned from Aspen even more in love with Jane than ever. Eeeeeek! If only she could be both Jane and Holly at the same time! Brain Blitz! What if she can? Her grandmother always said be careful what she wished for, particularly when using a monkey’s paw. Down goes a finger and… oops! Turns out when she wished that Jane and Holly would exist at the same time it meant that she would remain Plain Jane, but *gulp* Brad would become possessed by Holly Ween. It’s a sass attack as Holly Brad takes NYC by storm. Now she has to reveal her true identity to Alejandro in order to recruit him to help. He’s hurt. Doesn’t he know that he loved her for what was on the inside? But also, as he takes her glasses off, he mentions that her beauty on the outside doesn’t hurt either. Who? Little ol’ her? Jane and Alejandro are quite the power couple as they power their way into the hottest club in NYC and win a dance off against Holly Brad. Turns out out-dancing Holly Ween’s spirit is the only way to defeat her and the monkey’s paw closes again. Alejandro goes in for the kiss but Plain Jane turns him away. She can’t… because she’s dying. Brad and Alejandro gasp. Turns out they’re dying too.

“You get it?” Samantha says. “Let me see if I do,” Jamie says and begins to recount a dream he had. We’re recounting a little dream we had this week. The dream of watching Dream a Little Dream starring the Corey’s. Boy that sounds like a rough time. Hope we have a nice palate cleanser for our Friend this week. Ghosts Can’t Do It starring Bo Derek! Welp… it’s a hard job, but someone has to do it. Let’s go!

Dream a Little Dream (1989) – BMeTric: 29.8; Notability: 25

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 10.4%; Notability: top 20.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.5%; Higher BMeT: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child, Wild Orchid, Cyborg, The Fly II, The Karate Kid Part III, No Holds Barred, Cutting Class, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland, DeepStar Six, The Toxic Avenger Part II, Shocker, Pink Cadillac, The Punisher, Speed Zone, House III: The Horror Show, The January Man, and 6 more; Higher Notability: Tango & Cash, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Troop Beverly Hills, Lock Up, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child, The Karate Kid Part III, Harlem Nights, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Fletch Lives, Leviathan, Three Fugitives, Listen to Me, Pink Cadillac, Family Business, Millennium, Dead Bang, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, The Punisher, Let It Ride, Renegades, and 32 more; Lower RT: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, The Toxic Avenger Part II, House III: The Horror Show, Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects, Speed Zone, Homer and Eddie, Worth Winning, Elves, Second Sight, Night Game, Wired; Notes: Played 42 times, and we’ve actually seen 8 of the top 10 BMeT films for 1989 which is pretty great. We really need to get on The Karate Kid III. I keep forgetting there was a sequel to this film (also starring Feldman) and that played an insane 45 times on television. Ghosts Can’t Do It played 23 times, including, amazingly, premiering on Cinemax on July 23rd 1991 in the primetime slot, wowza.

RogerEbert.com – 0.5 stars – So there I was, watching this TV commercial for “Dream a Little Dream,” when suddenly a light bulb went on over my head, and I said, “Hold on a minute,” because the commercial shows Corey Feldman as a kid named Bobby who has all these problems in school, you know, and like he’s in love with this girl but she’s dating the toughest kid in the class and so, like wow, what is Bobby gonna do? After I saw this commercial, what I wanted to know was: What happened to Jason Robards? What the commercial doesn’t tell you is that this kid named Bobby is not really a 16-year-old at all. He has a teenager’s body, sure, but inside his head, he is occupied by Jason Robards. … “Dream a Little Dream” is an aggressively unwatchable movie.

(Roger Ebert really channelling the Bad Movie Twins style of writing for a second there. It does make me think we have a voice here … it isn’t an intelligent or good voice, but it is something that someone somewhere would go like “huh” to, you know?)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWIlihA-DBo/

(My god the music. Watching all these trailers makes me realize just how insane the music in trailers often are. My god, this is a body swap film?! What the hell?)

Directors – Marc Rocco – ( Known For: Murder in the First; Where the Day Takes You; Scenes from the Goldmine; BMT: Dream a Little Dream; Notes: Somehow Murder in the First was his last directorial effort. I remember that film being at least not-bad. He produced a bunch after, including The Jacket.)

Writers – Daniel Jay Franklin – ( BMT: Dream a Little Dream; Notes: Literally this is it. He wrote a single episode of Knots Landing, and then got a character credit for the sequel.)

Marc Rocco – ( Known For: The Jacket; Where the Day Takes You; Scenes from the Goldmine; BMT: Dream a Little Dream; Notes: Adopted son of the guy who played Salvator in The Wedding Planner … oh also the guy was in The Godfather, but The Wedding Planner seemed more appropriate to mention.)

Danny Eisenberg – ( BMT: Dream a Little Dream; Notes: Seems to be a collaborator with Rocco since he also wrote (and composed for?) Scenes from the Goldmine.)

Actors – Corey Feldman – ( Known For: Stand by Me; The Goonies; Gremlins; The Lost Boys; Maverick; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; The Fox and the Hound; The ‘Burbs; Time After Time; Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV; Corbin Nash; Pauly Shore Is Dead; My Date with Drew; Kid 90; Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope; Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy; Meatballs 4; An Open Secret; 13 Fanboy; Rock ‘n’ Roll High School Forever; Future BMT: Loaded Weapon 1; License to Drive; Bordello of Blood; Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; BMT: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter; Friday the 13th: A New Beginning; Friday the 13th: The New Blood; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Dream a Little Dream; Notes: For real, for this film he readily admits he was in his “Michael Jackson” phase. He had vaguely learned to dance like Michael, and he dressed like him, but he basically couldn’t sing, but at the time that didn’t seem to be of concern to Feldman who straight mimics Jackson throughout this film. He looks ridiculous.)

Jason Robards – ( Known For: Once Upon a Time in the West; Magnolia; Enemy of the State; Philadelphia; All the President’s Men; Crimson Tide; Parenthood; Tora! Tora! Tora!; Quick Change; Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid; A Boy and His Dog; Johnny Got His Gun; The Paper; My Best Fiend; Something Wicked This Way Comes; The Ballad of Cable Hogue; Julia; Beloved; The Adventures of Huck Finn; Bright Lights, Big City; Future BMT: Little Big League; BMT: Dream a Little Dream; A Thousand Acres; Notes: You know, I’m reading King Lear now, and I think I might have to reassess A Thousand Acres at some point. I remember finding it nuts at the time, but it is a weird take on King Lear which maybe I could understand better. He won two Oscars, for All the President’s Men and Julia, and was nominated for Melvin and Howard.)

Corey Haim – ( Known For: The Lost Boys; Silver Bullet; Lucas; Murphy’s Romance; Watchers; Prayer of the Rollerboys; An Open Secret; Dream Machine; Oh, What a Night; My Truth: The Rape of Two Coreys; New Terminal Hotel; Shark City; Never Too Late; Future BMT: License to Drive; Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; Secret Admirer; Firstborn; BMT: Batman & Robin; Crank: High Voltage; Dream a Little Dream; Notes: Apparently he was added very late in the game as a request by Feldman (who seemed to take over production to some degree), and then Haim broke his leg, and they just wrote into the script that he walks with a cane. It is nuts.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $5,552,441 (Worldwide: $5,552,441)

(It is honestly astonishing this made any money. It is crazy that it was released to theaters. The film is so so so so weird. One of the weirdest BMTs in history and that’s saying something.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 9% (1/11)

(The consensus here is actually very straightforward: this movie is completely incoherent. Audiences will be left in a daze after wondering what the hell they just saw.)

New York Times Description: Routine high school slick cloaked in foggy folderol about dreams and incarnation.

Poster – Sklog a Little Sklog

(This is actually hurting my eyes a little. At least the font has a bit of vim and vigor. C-.)

Tagline(s) – With dreams like these who needs reality? (D+)

(I don’t… I’m not sure I understand. With dreams like these… who needs reality? You sure about that one? A classic, this sounds like a tagline but I assure you it isn’t a tagline.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

Best Options (Romance): 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 55.1 Who’s That Girl (1987), 47.2 Big Top Pee-wee (1988), 44.8 American Ninja (1985), 44.8 King Ralph (1991), 38.6 Stroker Ace (1983), 38.2 The Butcher’s Wife (1991), 35.3 Spring Break (1983), 33.6 Career Opportunities (1991), 32.0 The Forbidden Dance (1990), 31.5 Jumpin’ Jack Flash (1986), 30.5 The Woman in Red (1984), 30.0 High Spirits (1988), 29.8 Dream a Little Dream (1989), …

(We mostly did this for the year if I recall. But is is one of those wild films that is completely off the wall inexplicable, so it isn’t like we were struggling with the decision. It is the best 1989 Romance film we could find regardless.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jason Robards is No. 1 billed in Dream a Little Dream and No. 3 billed in A Thousand Acres, which also stars Michelle Pfeiffer (No. 1 billed) who is in New Year’s Eve (No. 3 billed) which also stars Robert De Niro (No. 2 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 3) + (1 + 3) + (2 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 18. If we were to watch License to Drive we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Four days before filming, Corey Haim broke his leg and Dinger’s character had to be rewritten to include the injury. While his actual cast was removed during filming, he had to wear a fake one for the remainder of the production. In the movie Dinger says that his mother hit him with her car. In real life, Haim broke his leg while trying to teach his mom how to ride a motorbike. She couldn’t use the brakes well yet, and ran into the side of a building, breaking her nose and Corey’s leg.

On the wall of Bobby’s room a poster for the movie “The Lost Boys (1987)” can be seen. Corey Feldman and Corey Haim both starred in “The Lost Boys”.

At the time of filming the two Coreys were both addicted to drugs such as cocaine, as well as Feldman using heroin at the time and having an obsession with Michael Jackson. He included Jackson style type moves in the dance sequence involving Lainie in the gym.

This film re-teams frequent co-stars Corey Feldman and Corey Haim though originally only Feldman was cast in the film. When Lala Sloatman was cast as Shelley, she agreed to be in the film on the condition that her then-boyfriend Haim was also cast.

During a dream meeting between Bobby and Coleman, Bobby gives Coleman instructions to view Bobby’s home movies to learn how to act like a more believable Bobby. When the film cuts to Coleman selecting a VHS tape of one of Bobby’s birthdays, the audience can see a videotape on the shelf with Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) marked on the label. Jason Robards, playing Coleman, also played General Walter C. Short in the 1970 WWII film.