You could always count on the librarians to have the answers. After listening to Black to Black over and over for a week, Jamie finally agreed to come with Patrick to the ‘brary to return it. “Maybe you can pick up some more death metal… or really anything,” Patrick says brimming with excitement as they neared the library. “Anything?” Jamie says skeptically, but Patrick is already speed walking to the door. He waves hello to Denise and Denise as he enters and points in excitement at Jamie. “You wanna look at some old newspapers? The library even has those. They’ve got all kinds of cool things in them like TV listings and… mostly that really.” Jamie nods. That is kind of cool. But looking around he gets a crackerjack idea. “What about a VHS copy of Crackerjack?” He says, suddenly hopeful. Patrick nods hesitantly and looks at Nathaniel. Nathaniel shakes his beak quickly. “Uh, let’s ask Denise,” Patrick says approaching the front desk, his eyes pleading with either of the Denises to think of something. “Well, unfortunately back in 2003, around the time that a fun, but quite bad, Celtics team was getting swept by the Pacers,” Jamie and Patrick wince, “we actually discontinued and disposed of all…” but just as she’s about to destroy everything Patrick has worked for, she’s interrupted by a loud creaking of a nearby door. “Ahem…” a small, wizened old man coughs, “Perhaps I can be of assistance, Denise.” The Denises look at each other in confusion. They’d never seen this man in their life… in fact, they’ve never seen the door he’s come out of before and they’ve been working the ‘brary scene for nigh 25 years. A small placard on the door says that it leads to The American Society of… That’s right! We’re watching The American Society of Magical Negroes. You’re probably thinking “That sounds like a bad idea.” You’d probably be right. Let’s go!
The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024) – BMeTric: 68.9; Notability: 18
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 0.8%; Notability: top 12.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 12.4%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web, Back to Black, Here, Argylle, Kraven the Hunter, Lift, Red One, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Jackpot!, Atlas, The Union, The Crow, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, My Spy The Eternal City, Harold and the Purple Crayon, A Family Affair, and 10 more; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Dear Santa, Trigger Warning, The Strangers: Chapter 1, and 8 more; Notes: The BMeTric is not surprisingly off the chain. Fun fact: not that bad of a movie, just a bit tepid and boring.
Variety – “The American Society of Magical Negroes,” a comedy of racial images that’s every bit as witty and scandalous as “American Fiction” (it almost feels like a kind of cousin to Cord Jefferson’s film), only this one follows through on the outrage. The writer-director, Kobi Libii, wants to make us laugh and twist our heads at the same time. He brings it off. “The American Society of Magical Negroes” is a deftly observant fantasy comedy that stays true to its own irreverence.
(Nice. I kind of genuinely agree. The film is satire. Whether it bites is really up to whether you find any of it even remotely amusing.)
(This trailer looks dumb except when it goes real extreme. The White Tears meter is objectively funny. But mostly it looks dumb and like a generic romantic comedy.)
Directors – Kobi Libii – ( BMT: The American Society of Magical Negroes; Notes: He was actually an actor in real television shows, like Madam Secretary and Alpha House.)
Writers – Kobi Libii – ( BMT: The American Society of Magical Negroes; Notes: He wrote a V show with Jordan Klepper on Comedy Central which I’ve never heard of.)
Actors – Justice Smith – ( Known For: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves; Pokémon: Detective Pikachu; Paper Towns; Ron’s Gone Wrong; All the Bright Places; The Voyeurs; Sharper; I Saw the TV Glow; Every Day; BMT: Jurassic World Dominion; The American Society of Magical Negroes; Notes: To have this and then I Saw the TV Glow in the same year is something. I really like him, although I can understand why someone might not. He has a flat affectation. Works for me.)
Zachary Barton – ( Known For: Kajillionaire; BMT: The American Society of Magical Negroes; Notes: Oh yeah … these are fake. This is the first time in a long time where they did the actual credits order (which is by appearance).)
Anthony Coons – ( BMT: The American Society of Magical Negroes; Notes: The last time this happened was, I believe, Barb Wire. I’m choosing not to alter it.)
(This certainly lost quite a bit of money. Justice Smith probably got paid enough to put this in the red.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (20/79): The American Society of Magical Negroes has a promising premise, but is too timid to fully engage with its most provocative ideas.
(Yeah, I can actually see that. It is a little quiet and timid, but that is kind of what you get from Justice Smith. I would have thought somewhere between 30-50% though, that is low.)
Reviewer Highlight: It’s not only utterly bereft of magic, but what it lacks it’s that sense of anarchic strangeness or weirdness… – Mark Kermode
(Did they not have a budget? Don’t mind the font and at least a little artistic. C+.)
Tagline(s) – Saving the damn world. (B-)
(I get what they’re up to here. I won’t say it’s good. But it’s subtle and I can appreciate that.)
Keyword(s) – 2024-2024
Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Road House (2024), The Substance (2024), The Beekeeper (2024)
Future BMT: 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024), 61.6 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 27.4 Slingshot (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 19.0 Reagan (2024), 16.7 Here (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)
BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), Night Swim (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)
Best Options (From the Hip):69.1 The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024)
(Yup, we really painted ourselves in a corner with this one. I remember having to very specifically work backwards and forwards a ton to eventually get the full chain to even work out. Thank god for David Alan Greer.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 22) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: David Alan Grier is No. 2 billed in The American Society of Magical Negroes and No. 8 billed in Tiptoes, which also stars Kate Beckinsale (No. 4 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 2 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 8) + (4 + 2) + (3 + 3) = 22. If we were to watch Blankman we can get the HoE Number down to 16.
Notes – The film was pulled from theaters after three weeks.
Spike Lee coined the term “magical negro” around 2000. It refers to a stereotypical Black supporting character who exists solely to aid a white protagonist. Examples include Forrest Gump (1994), The Green Mile (1999), and The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000).
The film premiered at the Sundance Film Festival.
This is Kobi Libii’s feature film directorial and screenwriting debut.
Patrick sadly returns the copy of Tarot to the shelves of the ‘brary. He waves to Denise and Denise, the two librarians, who flash him a thumbs up. Since he’s been around so much they’ve started letting him return things to the shelves himself. “Caw,” Nathaniel caws. “Meow,” Mr. Whiskers meows. “I know,” Patrick says like a human. He wasn’t sad because Tarot was bad, it was exactly what he needed after bathing in Jamie’s eternal Night Swim. He was sad because everything he had tried hadn’t worked. What man could resist a cat, a crow and some chills? It didn’t make sense. “Hey Patrick,” one of the Denises says handing him a few more DVDs to stock. “I couldn’t help but overhear what you’ve been going through.” Patrick nods in appreciation. “It’s just,” she continues, “your crow and cat are delightful.” ‘Obviously’, Patrick silently scoffs in his head. “And Tarot is something the whole family can enjoy to unwind after a long week of not watching Tarot,” she says carefully. Patrick is confused as to why Denise insists on wasting his valuable restocking time telling him a bunch of obvious things. “But did you think maybe Jamie doesn’t want delightful things?” Denise finishes, hoping that Patrick was listening. Oh Patrick was listening all right. He was listening and thinking. Everyone knows what Jamie likes to listen to when he’s feeling up (Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer, duh), but what was his wallow music? And where would he find it? Suddenly he hears the distinctive “Caw!” of Nathaniel. “No fudging way,” he says, looking at the crow pecking at the CD by the very sad Norwegian death metal band Black to Black sitting right there on the glorious shelf of the glorious ‘brary. That’s right! You probably guessed it, but we are watching the Amy Winehouse biopic Back to Black. You might be asking, ‘Why?’ We would also be asking that. Let’s go!
Back to Black (2024) – BMeTric: 21.0; Notability: 45
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 18.8%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.6%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies, The Crow, Night Swim, The Strangers: Chapter 1, Tarot, Trigger Warning, The Exorcism, Imaginary, Joker: Folie à Deux, Mother of the Bride, Hellboy: The Crooked Man, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Mea Culpa, The Deliverance, Breathe, Time Cut, and 27 more; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Dear Santa, Trigger Warning, The Strangers: Chapter 1, and 22 more; Notes:
Variety –Amy, contrary to her mythology, does end up in rehab. Near the end of her life, she gets clean, as Janis Joplin did. But that isn’t enough to keep her from becoming a member of the cautionary club of pop stars who died at 27 (Janis, Jimi, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain). Her self-destruction is on full display in “Back to Black.” Yet the film presents it, even revels in it, without giving you the sense that it fully understands it.
(At one point I recall there being some issue with the involvement of either the ex-husband of Winehouse (unlikely) or her father, which made the film potentially a response to the Amy documentary which I think was very critical of her father. Given that I fully expected the critical response to be poor.)
(There was a better trailer (one where it seemed a little like there was a more traditional path to stardom … so I suppose deceptive maybe), but this one is still good. The music and singing seem killer.)
Directors – Sam Taylor-Johnson – ( Known For: Nowhere Boy; A Million Little Pieces; Destricted; BMT: Fifty Shades of Grey; Back to Black; Notes: She’s kind of a weird director in that she seems to fully be in the “paycheck” movie phase. She has nothing on the docket at the moment.)
Writers – Matt Greenhalgh – ( Known For: Control; Nowhere Boy; Film Stars Don’t Die in Liverpool; The Look of Love; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: Well, that at least explains why Taylor-Johnson is involved, he wrote Nowhere Boy.)
Actors – Marisa Abela – ( Known For: Barbie; Rogue Agent; She Is Love; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: Well known for Industry, the only real laudets for the movie were in her singing which is, indeed, pretty impressive. She is in Black Bag which is interesting.)
Eddie Marsan – ( Known For: V for Vendetta; Deadpool 2; Sherlock Holmes; Hancock; Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows; Gangs of New York; The Gentlemen; Mission: Impossible III; The Illusionist; Snow White and the Huntsman; The World’s End; 21 Grams; Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw; Match Point; Wrath of Man; Atomic Blonde; War Horse; Vice; Jack the Giant Slayer; Miami Vice; Future BMT: The Man Who Knew Too Little; 7 Days in Entebbe; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: I recognize him from Happy-Go-Lucky. He’s in a ton of TV at the moment, and is pencilled in for the probably-never-going-to-happen Sherlock Holmes 3 still.)
Jack O’Connell – ( Known For: 300: Rise of an Empire; Unbroken; This Is England; Money Monster; Eden Lake; Harry Brown; ’71; Ferrari; Starred Up; Lady Chatterley’s Lover; The Man with the Iron Heart; United; Trial by Fire; Seberg; The Liability; Little Fish; Jungleland; Tower Block; Weekender; Private Peaceful; Future BMT: Tulip Fever; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: He’s in both 28 Years Later and Sinners this year which … either of those could be good. The trailer for 28 Years Later at least looks incredible.)
Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $6,157,705 (Worldwide: $50,979,416)
(Not great. Kind of weird the budget is so high, maybe because of the concert stuff and paying the Winehouse Estate? Just seems crazy considering there is really no stars.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (63/181): Back to Black’s sympathetic approach to its subject’s story is an overdue antidote to the tabloid treatment she often received in life, even if the end results are disappointingly pedestrian.
(Again, the issue is being sympathetic to Amy Winehouse is one thing, but the documentary, fairly or unfairly, makes the treatment of the father in the film seem a little off somehow.)
Reviewer Highlight: Much like the rabid tabloid coverage Winehouse faced, Back to Black is a lazy attempt to capitalize on both the success and struggles of a great artist. – Emma Oxnevad, Chicago Reader
(I mean, I guess if I was super into Amy Winehouse this poster would make me excited for it. Despite being serviceable, I’m going to give it right in the middle because the font is the worst I’ve ever seen. C.)
Tagline(s) – Her music. Her life. Her legacy. (C+)
(I like the classic structure of this. It is extremely generic, though. Like why couldn’t this be the tagline to Selena?)
Keyword(s) – 2024-2024
Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Road House (2024), The Substance (2024), The Beekeeper (2024)
Future BMT: 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024), 61.6 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 27.4 Slingshot (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 19.0 Reagan (2024), 16.7 Here (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)
BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), Night Swim (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024)
Best Options (Romance): 21.0 Back to Black (2024)
(Arguably this is our Romance film, but clearly that is in lieu of any other option. Is Romance dead? As a genre I mean, not in general.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 58) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Bronson Webb is No. 26 billed in Back to Black and No. 19 billed in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, which also stars Penélope Cruz (No. 2 billed) who is in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (No. 2 billed) which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (26 + 19) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 58. If we were to watch Entebbe, Surrogates, The Jackal, Nights in Rodanthe, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 21.
Notes – Marisa Abela had done most of the singing in this film herself. She trained extensively to mimic Amy Winehouse’s vocals.
Scenes were filmed at Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club at 47 Frith Street, Soho, London W1D 4HT, England and outside Winehouse’s first flat in Camden Town, and at Primrose Hill, London. In February, scenes were filmed inside the Metropolis Studios in Chiswick, London.
Jeff Tunke claimed he was cast as Mark Ronson and his scenes were deleted. However, director Sam Taylor-Johnson said Ronson was never a character in the film.
Following the death of Winehouse on July 23, 2011, several filmmakers attempted to create biopic projects but none of them progressed. By 2022, StudioCanal UK moved forward with production, and filming took place in London from January to April 2023.
No sooner had Patrick introduced Nathaniel Cawthorn to Jamie than he found himself back at his beautiful Hallston Public Library. Crows… crows were not his thing. He scours the graphic novels for his next great find. Not only not pounding the dweebs that he finds there, but even conversing with them on occasion. “Meow,” Mr. Whiskers says by his side, which reminds Patrick of his actual mission at the ‘brary (as he had heard the kids call it). “Right, I gotta focus and find something to help Jamie out of his doldrums.” But every graphic novel and book he looks at doesn’t seem to be quite right. “Caw caw!” Nathaniel Cawthorn screeches, much to the dismay of the shushing librarians. But Patrick knew that ‘caw’ anywhere. That was the caw of a crow with a hunch. Patrick follows Nathaniel as the crow flies over the stacks. Rounding a corner he comes to a screeching halt. “They have movies here too?!” he yells, getting another loud shush from the librarian. “But I’m guessing they only have only beaten up DVDs,” he whispers, but Nathaniel caws softly and pecks at a disc in the “New Arrivals” section. It’s beautiful. Tears well up in Patrick’s eyes. There was just no way Jamie could be sad watching that. A week later he surprises Jamie during one of the three times a day he forces himself to eat slices of unbuttered, dry toast. “Hey Buddy,” Patrick says, but Jamie just continues to crunch loudly into slice after slice of the flavorless toast. “You wanna maybe feast on something a little more flavorful?” With that he holds up a brand spanking new copy of the blu-ray (you read that right, blu-ray) copy of 2024’s Tarot, the hot new horror film for the gucci crowd. That’s right! The real life versions of ourselves are also watching Tarot, the hot new horror for the gucci crowd. Although I probably have to retire that phrase in favor of something to do with rizz… I’ll have to mull that one over in the ol’ noggin. Let’s go!
Tarot (2024) – BMeTric: 65.8; Notability: 12
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 2.8%; Notability: top 17.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.4%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies, The Crow, Night Swim, The Strangers: Chapter 1; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web, Back to Black, Here, Argylle, Kraven the Hunter, Lift, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Red One, Jackpot!, Atlas, The Union, The Crow, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, My Spy The Eternal City, Harold and the Purple Crayon, A Family Affair, and 23 more; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two; Notes: Horror BMeTrics are always off the chain. Dems the breaks Tarot.
Variety – Set in a world where every door creaks and there isn’t a single well-lit location, “Tarot” is little more than a clearinghouse of horror clichés.
(Yeah, it isn’t wrong. This is a whole new era of “teen horror” I think. The type of horror you bring your boo to and snuggle under a blanket and pretend you are super spookified which probably smooching / on your phone telling you friends how spookified you are. Facts.)
(Really profoundly dumb. The acting also looks dire, although I agree with some of the reviews, the fact that Batalon is in this at least intrigues you since he was a highlight of some MCU films.)
Directors – Spenser Cohen – ( BMT: Tarot; Notes: Wrote a bunch as you can see, but as a director he did a few non-qualifiers, and a podcast series, but Tarot is a somewhat ignominious feature debut.)
Anna Halberg – ( BMT: Tarot; Notes: Co-director on the podcast series as well, she was also involved in The Expendables 4, so she must be professionally involved with Cohen specifically in some way.)
Writers – Anna Halberg and Spenser Cohen – ( Known For: Extinction; Distant; BMT: Moonfall; The Expendables 4; Tarot; Notes: They have a AI horror film called House/Wife coming out, it looks rough based solely on the poster. Netflix though, so it’ll be somehow hugely popular. They are definitely writing partners though.)
Nicholas Adams – ( BMT: Tarot; Notes: Maybe the original writer? His only credit.)
Actors – Harriet Slater – ( Known For: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny; BMT: Tarot; Notes: Was in the show Pennyworth, and is in an upcoming Outlander spin-off series.)
Adain Bradley – ( Known For: Wrong Turn; Butter; BMT: Tarot; Notes: Obviously is in Industry, and was on The Bold and the Beautiful for years which makes sense. In an A24 film called Warfare coming out this year.)
Jacob Batalon – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Spider-Man: No Way Home; Spider-Man: Homecoming; Spider-Man: Far from Home; Lift; Let It Snow; Every Day; Blood Fest; Shortcomings; Banana Split; BMT: Tarot; Notes: Spiderman guy. You’d recognize him. He’s also in Novocaine, and in some upcoming mystery movie (show?) called The Wrecking Crew.)
Budget/Gross – $8 million / Domestic: $18,771,004 (Worldwide: $49,256,239)
(That’s fine. Didn’t need the worldwide. Again, Horror can do no wrong. You basically can’t lose money with tiny films like this.)
(Let’s go for a consensus: Personality-less and trite, you’ve seen all this before, and with a PG-13 rating you are guaranteed not to be scared.)
Reviewer Highlight: It’s trying to be everything at once, and ends up feeling flimsy, empty, and again, very, very frustrating. – Matthew Jackson, AV Club
(It honestly seems a tad cheap. That gross hand. The death card. The only mildly interesting font. I’m not feeling it. C-.)
Tagline(s) – Your fate is in the cards. (D)
(Yeah, I know. It’s tarot. Bah, try harder, Tarot. I want to love you so much.)
Keyword(s) – 2024-2024
Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Road House (2024), The Substance (2024), The Beekeeper (2024)
Future BMT: 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024), 61.6 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 27.4 Slingshot (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 19.0 Reagan (2024), 16.7 Here (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)
BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), Night Swim (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)
Best Options (Horror):65.6 Tarot (2024), 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024)
(I wonder if we’ll ever get to Imaginary. The Exorcism is probably going to happen only because there will be some allured in completing Russell Crowe films at some point. But Imaginary? Might be for the real Betty Buckley-heads.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 26) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Olwen Fouéré is No. 8 billed in Tarot and No. 3 billed in The Watchers, which also stars Dakota Fanning (No. 1 billed) who is in The Cat in the Hat (No. 2 billed) which also stars Mike Myers (No. 1 billed) who is in The Love Guru (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jessica Alba (No. 2 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 2 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (8 + 3) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 26. If we were to watch Hide and Seek we can get the HoE Number down to 23.
Notes – Loosely based on the 1992 novel “Horrorscope”, written by Nicholas Adams.
The tarot card deck used in the movie was specifically created for it.
The title card appears nearly 17 minutes into the run-time.
The directors Spenser Cohen and Anna Halberg are among the well-wishers in Hailey’s email.
Elise is a Libra, Lucas is a Capricorn, Madeline is a Pisces, Paxton is a Taurus, Grant is a Leo, Hayley is an Aquarius and Paige is Virgo
The cat was a rousing success. His name was Mr. Whiskers and Patrick loved him with all his heart. The cat loved Mondays and hated lasagna, which went against everything he knew about cats, but he was a perfect pet despite these deficiencies. So Jamie didn’t take to the cat. So what? All that meant was that Patrick and Mr. Whiskers could spend so much more time at the Hallston Public Library. As Patrick spins around the stacks revelling in all the knowledge he could gain, Mr. Whiskers gives out a loud “Meow.” “What is it boy,” Patrick says, hurrying to a corner of the library he hadn’t yet explored. He comes to a screeching halt near Mr. Whiskers and gives out a gasp. “My word, they have comic books too?!” Patrick says. “What doesn’t this place have?!” A nearby nerd gives a snort and goes back to his comic. Patrick narrows his eyes. But there is no time to pound some dweebs. He goes to where Mr. Whiskers is crouched and his eyes alight on the comic (or more accurately, the graphic novel) that he is pawing. “But that can’t be right, Mr. Whiskers,” Patrick says confused. “It looks too sad. Jamie needs something happy.” But Mr. Whiskers is insistent, pawing and meowing even more urgently. Patrick thinks for a moment and the lightbulb goes off. “Mr. Whiskers, you are a genius.” A week later he surprises Jamie during one of his many naps. “Hey buddy,” Patrick says softly, shaking his shoulder and bringing a crate onto his bed. “You wanna say hello to my other little friend?” Jamie just rolls over and pretends not to hear him, but shoots upright as the creature in the cage gives out a loud “Caw!” That’s right! That’s the ‘Caw!’ of The Crow remake. I had my eye on this for ages, but we had to bide out time for the end of the year cycle. It’s just too good. Let’s go!
The Crow (2024) – BMeTric: 67.8; Notability: 33
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 5.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 9.3%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web, Back to Black, Here, Argylle, Kraven the Hunter, Lift, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Red One, Jackpot!, Atlas; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Air Force One Down, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Dear Santa, Trigger Warning, and 1 more; Notes: Tyler Perry had a film this year? It got 0 good reviews out of 17, that is incredible. Welp, we’ll never watch that.
RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – There’s a scene in the movie where Eric and Shelly are walking across a bridge and Shelly not-really-jokingly talks about jumping, and they envision a double-jump ending in their deaths, and Shelly imagines that teenagers would make shrines to them. I think that in time, teenagers will make their own shrines to this movie, in their own ways. It’s the kind of movie where, if you saw it when you were 14, you’d see it ten or twenty more times, and be inspired to check out books from the library, maybe memorize some poetry.
(Oh wowza, I really really disagree with that. That feels like a ludicrous take. No teenager is watching this film. And the idea that watching the two worst people you’ve ever met read poetry would inspire someone to do the same is a terrifying prospect indeed.)
(“Quite brilliantly broken”, immediately I find these characters obnoxious. That fundamentally is the issue with the film. I always describe it as: Imagine if the worst people you’ve ever met became superheroes. Rough stuff.)
Directors – Rupert Sanders – ( Known For: Snow White and the Huntsman; Ghost in the Shell; BMT: The Crow; Notes: My god, that is a pretty dire career. Amazing that he’s only managed one BMT film.)
Writers – James O’Barr – ( Known For: The Crow; The Crow: Salvation; The Crow: Wicked Prayer; Future BMT: The Crow: City of Angels; BMT: The Crow; Notes: The writer of the comic book. His story is pretty interesting, it is worth a read, a true blue independent comic book creator.)
Zach Baylin – ( Known For: King Richard; Gran Turismo; Creed III; Bob Marley: One Love; The Order; BMT: The Crow; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for King Richard. Again a little surprised he only has one … Creed III is pretty rough.)
William Josef Schneider – ( BMT: The Crow; Notes: Kind of weird, he is an executive producer, and this is all he has basically in his filmography.)
Actors – Bill Skarsgård – ( Known For: Deadpool 2; It; Eternals; John Wick: Chapter 4; It Chapter Two; Atomic Blonde; Barbarian; The Devil All the Time; Anna Karenina; Boy Kills World; Assassination Nation; Villains; Nine Days; Simple Simon; Arn: The Kingdom at the End of the Road; Behind Blue Skies; Naked Singularity; Simon och ekarna; The Crown Jewels; Kenny Begins; Future BMT: Allegiant; BMT: The Crow; Notes: Swedish. I did like him in It. And nice, he voiced the Deviant Kro in the MCU… I wonder when that is coming back.)
FKA twigs – ( Known For: Honey Boy; BMT: The Crow; Notes: Really no offense, but she was perplexing in this movie. I’ve heard good things about Honey Boy though, maybe I should watch that to get a better sense of her range.)
Danny Huston – ( Known For: Wonder Woman; Children of Men; The Aviator; Robin Hood; Game Night; 21 Grams; 30 Days of Night; The Constant Gardener; Leaving Las Vegas; The Kingdom; Marie Antoinette; Big Eyes; Edge of Darkness; Hitchcock; The Proposition; Stolen; Birth; Stan & Ollie; The Professor; IO; Future BMT: How to Lose Friends & Alienate People; The Warrior’s Way; Marlowe; BMT: X-Men Origins: Wolverine; Clash of the Titans; The Number 23; Wrath of the Titans; Angel Has Fallen; The Crow; Notes: He plays the bad guy. I feel like I know his as big bads in things like Angel Has Fallen. He’s apparently in the new Naked Gun starring Liam Neeson. That could be wild.)
Budget/Gross – $50 million / Domestic: $9,275,659 (Worldwide: $23,999,106)
(I mean, horrific. The idea of making The Crow at all is one thing, but making it like this? Then you deserve to lose money. This movie is actually genuinely kind of offensive towards the source material.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 22% (29/134): Dreary and poorly paced, this reimagining of The Crow doesn’t have enough personality or pulse to merit the resurrection.
(It doesn’t. But also it changes everything about it to something worse. You might think I’m joking but it literally takes every single thing about the original movie and makes it worse.)
Reviewer Highlight: It’s like an anti-entertainment protest. – Robert Abele, Los Angeles Times
(Boy that’s bad. I like the font, but only because it’s drawn. But this just doesn’t look professional to me. Like fan art or something. C-.)
Tagline(s) – True love never dies. (C+)
(This is almost comically generic, but it’s also appropriate, so I’m a bit torn. I’ll boost it up a bit. But really the general concept of a film isn’t also its tagline usually.)
Keyword(s) – 2024-2024
Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Road House (2024), The Substance (2024), The Beekeeper (2024)
Future BMT: 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024), 61.6 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 27.4 Slingshot (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 19.0 Reagan (2024), 16.7 Here (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)
BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), Night Swim (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)
Best Options (Action):67.6 The Crow (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)
(This was by far the best one. And Again, when we watched this Red One wasn’t out yet, otherwise … well, we would have probably watched both because we would have moved this one somewhere else. There was no way we were missing out on The Crow.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Danny Huston is No. 3 billed in The Crow and No. 4 billed in The Number 23, which also stars Virginia Madsen (No. 2 billed) who is in Firewall (No. 3 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (3 + 4) + (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 19. If we were to watch Marlowe we can get the HoE Number down to 17.
Notes – When asked if he had seen the trailer for this film, Ernie Hudson replied, “I haven’t seen it. The actor – who I can’t name – is playing the lead, I love and respect. But for me, ‘The Crow’ is Brandon Lee. I can’t imagine… let’s hope they don’t try to redo him, that they do their own thing with it and take it in a different direction. I haven’t seen [the trailer]. I haven’t seen any of the other ‘Crow’ [movies] because of what happened to Brandon.” In an earlier interview in 2021, Hudson explained he hadn’t even seen the 1994 original, saying, “It breaks my heart, and I can’t get past it. So much of it was action stuff, but Brandon and I got a chance to work together.”
Luke Evans, while still working on the production of The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014), held a live Facebook Q&A. During some of the questions that he personally responded to, when asked about joining the “The Crow” reboot as the leading character, Evans stated that he felt inclined to drop out from the project as he felt “unworthy” of portraying the late Brandon Lee’s most iconic role.
F. Javier Gutiérrez was at one point courted to direct the film, but not as a remake. Crow creator J. O’Barr admitted in an interview that he was impressed when he saw that Gutierrez’s take would be a black-and-white shot-for-shot remake of the original graphic novel using both panels and dialogue directly from the source material for story-boarding to be as faithful as humanly possible to the comic. Due to production troubles and delays in shooting, Gutierrez dropped out to direct Rings (2017).
At one point the Crow film was intended to be called “The Crow Reborn” based on a screenplay by Cliff Dorfman being an original story about an undead police officer returning to avenge his family. The script attracted the attention of Jason Momoa, who was then cast in the lead role, but the production fell through when Momoa left because he didn’t like the constant rewrites which wore away any semblance of the Dorfman script, turning it into more of a remake of the 1994 film and less the original story he signed on for. Dorman himself disowned the resulting film after seeing a screening, posting his response to possible fan skepticism of the film’s quality writing simply, “It is. And don’t.”
During a Reddit AMA, Shannon Lee, sister of Brandon Lee was asked if there should be a remake of The Crow (1994) to which she responded, “I don’t think they should remake ‘The Crow.’ Booooo!”
Jamie was clearly depressed. While it had seemed that he had gone through all the stages of grief in a matter of moments and lived his life to the fullest with Samantha, it now was clear that that was all a mask. That he was stuck at stage four and couldn’t shake it. Patrick tried everything. He baked him his favorite cake (an inverse cake where the cake was actually the icing and the icing was the cake), but he barely took a nibble. He showed him his favorite film (not a film, really, but just the motorcycle sex scene from Woman of Desire), but he didn’t even crack a smile. He read him his favorite poem (the poem that Rocky reads Adrian in Rocky II), but his eyes remained dry. Even during their daily gymnastics/dance workout Patrick barely gave it his all and called it a day after just two and half hours. “I don’t know what to do,” Patrick says sadly over the phone to Kyle. Kyle couldn’t move to Hallston with his burgeoning family back home but was able to offer at least one piece of advice. “You know, maybe if the usual things aren’t working you have to look outside your own experiences.” After hanging up, Patrick walks to Hallston’s local public library and looks in the “Sad” section. There he finds a book “Are You Sad?” After flipping through it for a moment his eyes alight on a page that makes his eyes gleam. “Library, you’ve done it again, you glorious bastard.” A week later he surprises Jamie at home during one of his lengthy wall-staring sessions and opens a small crate. “Say hello to my little friend,” Patrick says, coining a wholly original phrase. From the box comes a tiny meow. That’s right! It’s the 2024 cycle and we’re doing the hottest cat movie around. Unfortunately 2024 still hasn’t delivered the Heathcliff movie the Gucci crowd is clamoring for, so we’ll settle for The Garfield Movie… ah… well. Alas. Let’s go!
The Garfield Movie (2024) – BMeTric: 37.4; Notability: 54
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 13.6%; Notability: top 1.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.7%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies, The Crow, Night Swim, The Strangers: Chapter 1, Tarot, Trigger Warning, The Exorcism, Imaginary, Joker: Folie à Deux, Mother of the Bride, Hellboy: The Crooked Man, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Mea Culpa, The Deliverance, Breathe, Time Cut, and 14 more; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Dear Santa, Trigger Warning, The Strangers: Chapter 1, and 25 more; Notes: The Notability is insane on this. Only Joker 2, Borderlands, and … Reagan? Wait, Reagan had over 50 people involved in it with a wikipedia page? That makes no sense.
RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – I cannot think of a single reason for another Garfield movie, and apparently, the people who made this couldn’t, either. It reminds me of the legendary comment about “Nancy,” which, like “Garfield,” was originally a comic strip known for the spareness of its design and the helium-weight lightness of its humor. When asked to explain “Nancy,” someone once said, “It takes less energy to read it than to skip it.” Those who have children pestering them to see “Garfield” will feel the same way about this film. It’s not awful. It may be too much to say that kids will enjoy it, but it is probably fair to say they will feel that they have been entertained. But those accompanying the children may feel dispirited by the emptiness that emanates from a film that is just an IP cash grab. And parents may have some concerns, discussed below.
(That quote about Nancy is hilarious. And yeah, that is basically how this film feels. It was easier just to watch it than to try and think about something else to watch.)
(Is this trailer real …. Am I going crazy. It is just repeating over and over with a song behind it. Are they going to grow up and the movie explained a little at all? Am I going crazy? It is on the Sony Pictures Entertainment channel … It tags Snoop Dogg, so he would have done something about it if it was fake. It says Final Trailer. I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW IS THIS A TRAILER WHY IS THIS MAKING ME WANT TO WATCH THIS FILM. This is infuriating.)
Directors – Mark Dindal – ( Known For: The Emperor’s New Groove; Cats Don’t Dance; Future BMT: Chicken Little; BMT: The Garfield Movie; Notes: It is kind of weird … because I felt like Chicken Little was relatively well received, but actually it qualifies. He was like the main guy behind The Emperor’s New Groove, which was excellent, but also apparently was a mess behind the scenes.)
Writers – Mark Torgove and Paul A. Kaplan – ( BMT: The Garfield Movie; Notes: He wrote for television, and even then mostly an episode at a time. Seems like an interesting career path.)
David Reynolds – ( Known For: Finding Nemo; Mulan; The Emperor’s New Groove; Atlantis: The Lost Empire; Fantasia 2000; Future BMT: Chicken Little; BMT: The Garfield Movie; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Finding Nemo. Weird he didn’t get a credit for Finding Dory. He has some sort of TV Movie series called Captain Jokes Parrot … Oh I get it, Captain Jack Sparrow.)
Jim Davis – ( BMT: Garfield: The Movie; Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties; The Garfield Movie; Notes: He made the comic strip. Watch the I Think You Should Leave sketch about the woman who bought his house.)
Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg – ( Known For: Bad Teacher; Good Boys; BMT: Year One; Notes: Genuinely curious if they are actually going to make a Bad Teacher 2 ever. Seems unlikely. Isn’t Cameron Diaz semi-retired?)
Actors – Chris Pratt – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Guardians of the Galaxy; Avengers: Infinity War; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Jurassic World; Her; Moneyball; Thor: Love and Thunder; Wanted; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; The Lego Movie; Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; Zero Dark Thirty; The Super Mario Bros. Movie; The Tomorrow War; The Magnificent Seven; Onward; Jennifer’s Body; The Five-Year Engagement; Delivery Man; Future BMT: Passengers; What’s Your Number?; Take Me Home Tonight; Jem and the Holograms; BMT: Jurassic World Dominion; Bride Wars; Movie 43; The Garfield Movie; Notes: His career path is incredible. By which I mean it has now crossed over and become a bit embarrassing. I mean, I would take the money, but like The Electric State I think maybe marks him crossing the Rubicon into Bruce Willis cash grab territory.)
Samuel L. Jackson – ( Known For: Pulp Fiction; Django Unchained; Inglourious Basterds; The Avengers; Avengers: Endgame; Goodfellas; Avengers: Infinity War; Iron Man; Jurassic Park; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Thor; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Captain America: The First Avenger; Iron Man 2; Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith; The Incredibles; Kill Bill: Vol. 2; Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones; Kingsman: The Secret Service; Future BMT: The Legend of Tarzan; Sphere; Star Wars: The Clone Wars; Spiral; Basic; The Spirit; Loaded Weapon 1; Formula 51; The Man; One Eight Seven; Life Itself; Freedomland; Amos & Andrew; Fluke; Strictly Business; BMT: Jumper; Glass; Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Argylle; xXx: State of the Union; Shaft; Twisted; The Garfield Movie; Notes: It is kind of crazy to realize he was nominated for an Oscar for Pulp Fiction. I guess I never quite realized how mainstream it was. Three acting nominations is crazy.)
Hannah Waddingham – ( Known For: Les Misérables; The Fall Guy; Hocus Pocus 2; Winter Ridge; Future BMT: How to Lose Friends & Alienate People; BMT: The Hustle; The Garfield Movie; Notes: Won a Primetime Emmy for Ted Lasso (3 nominations) and nominated again for Krapopolis as a voice actor. Hocus Pocus 2 was awful, I really don’t get how they botch those legacy-quels so consistently.)
Budget/Gross – $60 million / Domestic: $91,956,547 (Worldwide: $257,211,519)
(That isn’t bad at all. Not at all. And that is why making a dumb Garfield movie can never be a bad deal. Even when the plot is about reuniting Garfield with the father no one knew about because he wasn’t in the comic strip at all.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 37% (50/136): The Garfield Movie rolls along at a zany enough clip to be diverting for kids, but this animated adventure doesn’t much resemble Jim Davis’ iconically grumpy creation.
(It does not, and that is the main crime. It is one thing to be trite and dumb. It is another to be trite and dumb and also not to resemble the thing you are trying desperately to mimic.)
Reviewer Highlight: Hyperkinetic stuff, lots of famous voice stars, almost no relationship to the original source… it just left me thinking of Bill Murray. – Mark Kermode
(It’s very orange. I like that. I like the font. It’s clever in some ways. It’s not perfect, obviously, but I like what they did here. B+.)
Tagline(s) – He gets bigger. (C+)
(My brain isn’t totally comprehending what we have here but… I think I like it… I think. Like he’s a fat cat, right? And this is a movie, which is bigger than a comic strip, right? OK. Are we sure this shouldn’t have been “He gets even bigger”? I’m going to be kind to this one.)
Keyword(s) – 2024-2024
Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Road House (2024), The Substance (2024), The Beekeeper (2024)
Future BMT: 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024), 61.6 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 27.4 Slingshot (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 19.0 Reagan (2024), 16.7 Here (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)
BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), Night Swim (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)
Best Options (Comedy):37.4 The Garfield Movie (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)
(Rest Assured, Red One wasn’t out yet when we watched this movie. So Harold and the Purple Crayon was the other one and there was no way I was watching that. That somehow looked even more trite than this did.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Samuel L. Jackson is No. 2 billed in The Garfield Movie and No. 3 billed in Jumper, which also stars Michael Rooker (No. 5 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 4 billed) => (2 + 3) + (5 + 4) = 14. If we were to watch The Spirit, and The Black Dahlia we can get the HoE Number down to 13.
Notes – Garfield shown as a kitten crosses the street there is a place he passes by called Lorenzo’s Music Store which is a nod to Garfield’s original voice actor Lorenzo Music.
Frank Welker, who’s voiced Garfield since 2007, expressed his disappointment at not being asked to voice the character for this film.
The code that Garfield uses to unlock his phone is ‘061978’, the date of the first “Garfield” comic strip.
The number on the waste container where Garfield is left behind is the date of the very first Garfield comic strip, 06-19-78.
The scene of Jon bathing Garfield is reminiscent of the September 5, 1978 strip, where Jon is also seen wearing a helmet and gloves while giving him a bath. Likewise, the follow-up comic has Jon dry up Garfield, which results in Garfield being all fluffed up, much like in the movie.
With that, Samantha turns and picks up a rock from the Bin of Rocks and turns to perform the ceremonial destruction of her previous entry on the Wall of Lovers. While Brad and Alejandro’s ghosts are a bit annoyed by this, they also understand that it was never them. It was always Jamie. There is no other way but to take a Rock to their false love. Four or five Rocks later and covered in sawdust, Samantha turns to Jamie. Together they use a Lover’s Chisel to begin carving the heart that will represent their forever love. It takes hours, interrupted only by intense makeout sessions the likes of which the roller skaters at the roller rink could only dream of. When they finish, Jamie turns to Samantha and asks what’s next. With tears in her eyes she whispers, “Life.”
Months later, Jamie stands on the shores of Hallston Lake. He had moved to Samantha’s hometown and they had indeed lived. But now he was alone. Well, almost. Because Patrick had also moved to Hallston to be there for Jamie in his time of need. “Hey buddy,” Patrick says kindly. “You thinking you want to head back to Brooklyn? Maybe start in on the third book of the Platonic Solids series? How’s that sound?” But that didn’t sound good at all to Jamie. “No… no I don’t think so,” Jamie says monotonously. “I just… need to… go for a swim,” he says looking at the moonlight bouncing off of Hallston Lake. With that he strips entirely nude and wades into the depths of the ice cold lake. Patrick is worried. It was very unlike Jamie to go midnight skinny dipping without eating a large surf and turf dinner immediately beforehand. That’s right! We are taking our own chilly dip into spooky waters with Night Swim. It’s about a haunted swimming pool. Given the impossibility of actually connecting to the 2024 cycle from the 80’s by definition, we built a bicycle with an (ironically) equally spooky horror film, Transylvania 6-5000. A movie that even me, a child of Comedy Central, barely knew existed. Finally we are pairing those with our final Friend of the Bring a Friend cycle: Revolution. It’s the Al Pacino film that doomed the Revolutionary War genre of film for decades. Let’s go!
Night Swim (2024) – BMeTric: 67.5; Notability: 16
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 13.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 7.0%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies, The Crow; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web, Back to Black, Here, Argylle, Kraven the Hunter, Lift, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Red One, Jackpot!, Atlas, The Union, The Crow, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, My Spy The Eternal City, Harold and the Purple Crayon, A Family Affair, and 13 more; Lower RT: Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Air Force One Down, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas; Notes: The only thing to do with 2024 films is to highlight ones we aren’t watching I suppose. Uglies is a hilarious one. It might as well be the Platonic Solids series, but somehow unironic. With an objectively attractive woman (Joey King) being the titular “ugly”. It’s nuts. I’ll probably read the book long before I watch this movie.
RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, it’s “Night Swim,” your annual January horror movie from the folks at Blumhouse. … The reveal of the entity that’s causing all this terror is laugh-out-loud hilarious, though, and I’m going to choose to assume that was McGuire’s intention. “Night Swim” also features amusing turns in small, supporting roles from Nancy Lenehan as the Minnesota-nice real estate agent who sells the family the house and Ben Sinclair as an oddball pool technician. And Russell clearly knows what movie he’s in as evidenced by some of his line deliveries, which are innocent and earnest in the face of increasingly absurd circumstances. It’s as if he’s beckoning us: Come on in, the water’s fine.
(Do I believe that any of this is ironic? … No, I don’t. Are there jokes in horror films? Yeah, there always has been. The idea that any level of absurdity means all levels of irony are possible I think is an issue in modern filmmaking. This movie isn’t a good horror film. It fails at that at any level. Intentionally failing is not the same as succeeding.)
(The Billie Eilish sting is absurd. The movie looks like it could be scary, but something about it (the heavy reliance on young actors maybe) points to this as a disaster in the making.)
Directors – Bryce McGuire – ( BMT: Night Swim; Notes: It is a littler interesting. He has nothing on the docket. That is pretty abnormal for a young director I feel like.)
Writers – Bryce McGuire – ( Known For: Baghead; BMT: Night Swim; Notes: He wrote and directed the short film this is based on as well. Again, the idea that he is ironically making this a bad movie is absurd.)
Rod Blackhurst – ( Known For: Blood for Dust; BMT: Night Swim; Notes: This guy also wrote and directed the short, but didn’t direct the feature length. He has two on the docket though, both horror films.)
Actors – Wyatt Russell – ( Known For: 22 Jump Street; Cowboys & Aliens; This Is 40; Overlord; The Woman in the Window; Escape from L.A.; Everybody Wants Some!!; Ingrid Goes West; Cold in July; We Are What We Are; Shimmer Lake; Goon: Last of the Enforcers; Love and Honor; High School; At the Devil’s Door; Blaze; Folk Hero & Funny Guy; BMT: Soldier; Table 19; Night Swim; Notes: The son of Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn. He’s now in the MCU as <checks notes> John Walker? Whatever. He’s also in some sort of Steven Spielberg film that is coming out.)
Kerry Condon – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Captain America: Civil War; Spider-Man: Homecoming; Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; The Banshees of Inisherin; Unleashed; This Must Be the Place; Ned Kelly; Dom Hemingway; Bad Samaritan; Angela’s Ashes; In the Land of Saints and Sinners; The Last Station; Intermission; Dreamland; Gold; Rat; How Harry Became a Tree; BMT: Night Swim; Notes: She was nominated for an Oscar for Banshees of Inisherin. And also she voiced the new AI in all the Avengers films.)
Amélie Hoeferle – ( Known For: The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes; BMT: Night Swim; Notes: The daughter. This is legit just her second feature film, she did shorts prior. None of her upcoming projects immediately ring a bell. She is German apparently.)
Budget/Gross – $15 million / Domestic: $32,494,740 (Worldwide: $54,768,317)
(That isn’t bad. As usual, horror films basically can’t lose money. This almost certainly made a return, although maybe not as much as they sometimes hope on these low budget films.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (34/173): Despite a promising start and a handful of solid scares, Night Swim is undone by a premise that just isn’t strong enough to support a feature-length film.
(That makes sense since it is actually just a short extended to full length. I don’t think there are any good scares though.)
Reviewer Highlight: Condon’s fierce yet heartfelt performance and the underwater sequences keep Night Swim treading water, but the high concept novelty wears out its welcome quickly for seasoned horror fans who’ve seen this scenario play out so many times before. – Meagan Navarro, Bloody Disgusting
(Nicely spooky and artsy. Wish the font tried a bit more with that watery effect. Can barely see it. Not bad, though. B+.)
Tagline(s) – Everything you fear is under the surface. (B+)
(It’s straining a little too much and is a little too long to warrant getting up into A range. I can see what they are doing. Under the surface with the double meaning. Implication about the aspect of the plot. It’s clever, but they couldn’t quite get there.)
Keyword(s) – 1983-1991
Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Back to the Future (1985), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), Die Hard (1988), The Terminator (1984), Scarface (1983), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Future BMT: 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 59.1 Suburban Commando (1991), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.6 Ghost Dad (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Who’s That Girl (1987), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 53.5 Graffiti Bridge (1990), 52.5 Johnny Be Good (1988), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 49.3 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.7 Hercules (1983), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)
BMT: Jaws: The Revenge (1987), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Jaws 3-D (1983), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Going Overboard (1989), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), Mac and Me (1988), Caddyshack II (1988), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Howard the Duck (1986), Supergirl (1984), Cool as Ice (1991), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987), Leonard Part 6 (1987), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Superman III (1983), Poltergeist III (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Wild Orchid (1989), Cyborg (1989), Problem Child 2 (1991), Rhinestone (1984), Red Sonja (1985), Troll (1986), Bolero (1984), …
(This is a hold over from Transylvania 6-5000. We didn’t have a true way to transition from the mid 80s to now, so we have to do a biCycle of sorts.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 23) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Wyatt Russell is No. 1 billed in Night Swim and No. 7 billed in Table 19, which also stars Anna Kendrick (No. 1 billed) who is in What to Expect When You’re Expecting (No. 3 billed) which also stars Jennifer Lopez (No. 1 billed) who is in Gigli (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 7) + (1 + 3) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 23. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 23.
Notes – The real life house location used for the family home on screen doesn’t actually fully connect to the garage, so the pool can be seen from the front yard. A facade was added to make it look like one full structure and to block the pool from the view in the front of the house.
The school that the kids attend is named Harold Holt. Holt was an Australian Prime Minister who was an avid swimmer and disappeared, and presumably died, while swimming in the ocean.
In 2018, director Rod Blackhurst and writer Bryce McGuire sold a feature length adaptation of their short film Night Swim (2014) about a woman terrorized in her pool by an evil spirit to James Wan’s Atomic Monster. McGuire is set to direct.
Wyatt Russell’s dad, Kurt Russell, was actually a very good minor league baseball player and would have made the MLB if it were not for an injury.
With that, Samantha turns and picks up a rock from the Bin of Rocks and turns to perform the ceremonial destruction of her previous entry on the Wall of Lovers. While Brad and Alejandro’s ghosts are a bit annoyed by this, they also understand that it was never them. It was always Jamie. There is no other way but to take a Rock to their false love. Four or five Rocks later and covered in sawdust, Samantha turns to Jamie. Together they use a Lover’s Chisel to begin carving the heart that will represent their forever love. It takes hours, interrupted only by intense makeout sessions the likes of which the roller skaters at the roller rink could only dream of. When they finish, Jamie turns to Samantha and asks what’s next. With tears in her eyes she whispers, “Life.”
Months later, Jamie stands on the shores of Hallston Lake. He had moved to Samantha’s hometown and they had indeed lived. But now he was alone. Well, almost. Because Patrick had also moved to Hallston to be there for Jamie in his time of need. “Hey buddy,” Patrick says kindly. “You thinking you want to head back to Brooklyn? Maybe start in on the third book of the Platonic Solids series? How’s that sound?” But that didn’t sound good at all to Jamie. “No… no I don’t think so,” Jamie says monotonously. “I just… need to… go for a swim,” he says looking at the moonlight bouncing off of Hallston Lake. With that he strips entirely nude and wades into the depths of the ice cold lake. Patrick is worried. It was very unlike Jamie to go midnight skinny dipping without eating a large surf and turf dinner immediately beforehand. That’s right! We are taking our own chilly dip into spooky waters with Night Swim. It’s about a haunted swimming pool. Given the impossibility of actually connecting to the 2024 cycle from the 80’s by definition, we built a bicycle with an (ironically) equally spooky horror film, Transylvania 6-5000. A movie that even me, a child of Comedy Central, barely knew existed. Finally we are pairing those with our final Friend of the Bring a Friend cycle: Revolution. It’s the Al Pacino film that doomed the Revolutionary War genre of film for decades. Let’s go!
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 2.4%; Notability: top 12.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 9.8%; Higher BMeT: Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, Howling II: … Your Sister Is a Werewolf, Red Sonja, Porky’s Revenge, King Solomon’s Mines, Perfect; Higher Notability: A View to a Kill, Spies Like Us, My Science Project, King David, Maxie, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, Santa Claus, Perfect, Rocky IV, Brewster’s Millions, Head Office, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment, Invasion U.S.A., Turk 182, Death Wish 3, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, The Slugger’s Wife, Heaven Help Us, Godzilla 1985, Creator, and 12 more; Lower RT: American Ninja, That Was Then… This Is Now, Head Office, Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer, The Slugger’s Wife, Maxie, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, King Solomon’s Mines, King David, Once Bitten, My Science Project, Private Resort, Fever Pitch, Death Wish 3, Summer Rental, Tuff Turf, Gymkata, Rustlers’ Rhapsody, Perfect, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, and 2 more; Notes: I’m continually a little amazed when I realize we still have such big movies left. Howling II, Porky’s Revenge, King Solomon’s Mines. These are bad movie classics when you are in the know. We’ve watched a crazy number of bad movies, but the job never ends.
New York Times – The actors in ”Transylvania 6-5000,” which opens today at Loew’s State and other theaters, seem to have the impression that they are doing something funny, though where they got that idea is anybody’s guess. It cannot have come from the screenplay, which was written by Rudy DeLuca, who also directed the film, as a series of utterly listless comic setups. It’s not that Mr. DeLuca has done anything wrong, exactly; it’s simply that he never does anything right. There’s no reason for this material to be funny, so, not surprisingly, it never is.
(I mean … fucking nailed it. It is true, it is basically an improv troupe where nothing is working quite like you’d expect despite the setups being there.)
(It’s cute. The movie is aggravating, but the trailer is actually like not that bad. In that it is taking the best part of the film and delivering in small doses like it is intended. Like it looks like it might work … rest assured it does not.)
Directors – Rudy De Luca – ( BMT: Transylvania 6-5000; Notes: He was an actor in a bunch of Mel Brooks films as well, including playing Vinnie in Spaceballs.)
Writers – Rudy De Luca – ( Known For: High Anxiety; Silent Movie; Caveman; Box Office 3D: The Filmest of Films; Screw Loose; The Good Bad Guy; Future BMT: Dracula: Dead and Loving It; Life Stinks; BMT: Transylvania 6-5000; Notes: He won two Emmy for writing on the Carol Burnett Show. Eventually he also did a bunch of variety shows as well.)
Actors – Jeff Goldblum – ( Known For: Jurassic Park; The Grand Budapest Hotel; Thor: Ragnarok; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Independence Day; The Lost World: Jurassic Park; Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; Annie Hall; The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou; The Fly; Isle of Dogs; The Prince of Egypt; Asteroid City; The Switch; Morning Glory; Invasion of the Body Snatchers; The Player; The Right Stuff; Cats & Dogs; Wicked; Future BMT: Man of the Year; Holy Man; Hideaway; Vibes; BMT: Jurassic World Dominion; Independence Day: Resurgence; Mortdecai; Nine Months; Transylvania 6-5000; Mad Dog Time; Notes: Nominated for a short Oscar in 1996. These days he manages to be notable as being the weirdest and wildest part of the Wicked films.)
Joseph Bologna – ( Known For: Ice Age: The Meltdown; My Favorite Year; The Big Bus; Alligator II: The Mutation; Coupe de Ville; Jersey Girl; Love Is All There Is; Chapter Two; Boynton Beach Club; Cops and Robbers; Tango Shalom; Made for Each Other; Mixed Company; Heaven Before I Die; Future BMT: Big Daddy; The Woman in Red; BMT: Blame It on Rio; Transylvania 6-5000; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for writing Lovers and Other Strangers in 1971. He died of cancer in 2017.)
Ed Begley Jr. – ( Known For: Pineapple Express; Ghostbusters; This Is Spinal Tap; Whatever Works; Best in Show; An Officer and a Gentleman; Book Club; Strange Darling; A Mighty Wind; You’re Not You; Lucky; Streets of Fire; Cat People; Get Over It; She-Devil; The Accidental Tourist; Plus One; For Your Consideration; Auto Focus; Hardcore; Future BMT: What’s Your Number?; The Pagemaster; Renaissance Man; Greedy; Protocol; Fly Me to the Moon 3D; Young Doctors in Love; BMT: Batman Forever; Amsterdam; CHIPS; Transylvania 6-5000; Notes: Nominated for 7 Emmys, 6 times for St. Elsewhere. He never won. His role in Hardcore is insane, and the son of Ed Begley who won an Oscar for Sweet Bird of Youth. I obviously know him as being in the later seasons of Veronica Mars, he was the president of the College she goes to.)
(That is better than I would have expected I guess. The economics of mid-80s film is confusing because I doubt they made much on television of home video, but they probably got more from the theaters as well. Seems like a break even.)
(There is really only one review here and the gist is: This might be the worst horror-comedy you’ll ever see. The guy ain’t wrong … although things like Dylan Dog exist so who knows.)
New York Times Short Review: Strained Frankenstein spoof. Forget it.
(A great classic poster style. What’s funny is that by today’s standards this doesn’t work. Too much going on. Nothing to anchor to. Like reading a book rather than an advertisement. But if a modern movie made an alternate poster in this style it would be fun. B.)
Tagline(s) – WANTED: Two thrill-seeking reporters, brains optional, looking to dig up the story of the century. For information call… (F)
(We were in that transition period where posters were changing. Taglines were changing. A (bad) relic from that bygone era.)
Keyword(s) – 1983-1991
Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Back to the Future (1985), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), Die Hard (1988), The Terminator (1984), Scarface (1983), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Future BMT: 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 59.1 Suburban Commando (1991), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.6 Ghost Dad (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Who’s That Girl (1987), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 53.5 Graffiti Bridge (1990), 52.5 Johnny Be Good (1988), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 49.3 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.7 Hercules (1983), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)
BMT: Jaws: The Revenge (1987), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Jaws 3-D (1983), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Going Overboard (1989), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), Mac and Me (1988), Caddyshack II (1988), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Howard the Duck (1986), Supergirl (1984), Cool as Ice (1991), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987), Leonard Part 6 (1987), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Superman III (1983), Poltergeist III (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Wild Orchid (1989), Cyborg (1989), Problem Child 2 (1991), Rhinestone (1984), Red Sonja (1985), Troll (1986), Bolero (1984), …
(There isn’t really a sub-genre here, so I didn’t include it. We were just looking for a good 80s film to pair with Night Swim, and this came up as one to do.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jeff Goldblum is No. 1 billed in Transylvania 6-5000 and No. 3 billed in Trigger Happy, which also stars Burt Reynolds (No. 6 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 5 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 3) + (6 + 5) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch Paranoia we can get the HoE Number down to 13.
Notes – The movie was financed by the Dow chemical company in order to spend frozen finances (money that could not be spent outside the country of origin) that the company had in Yugoslavia.
Jeff Goldblum recommended Ed Begley Jr. to the director for the role of Gil Turner and Begley recommended Michael Richards for the role of Fejos.
Much of the scene between John Byner and Carol Kane preparing the lunch was improvised. The script’s only direction was ‘cut fruit and serve’.
The little girl playing Elizabeth’s daughter, Sara Grdjan, was a locally cast Croat who spoke no English. She had to be taught to speak her lines phonetically.
The director saw 40 women for the role of Odette. They liked Geena Davis and when she pulled off a compelling Bela Lugosi accent, they knew they had their Odette.
Jamie, Samantha, Patrick and Kyle all quadruple group hug. Tears and snot mingle on their shirts. For a brief shining moment Samantha sees her roller rink beaus looking down from heaven nodding and giving her a thumbs up. “I couldn’t help but overhear,” Patrick says, when the group hug had run its course, putting emphasis on the word ‘overhear’ in order to really hammer home the lessons they all learned that day. “But what ever happened to Alajandro and Brad?” Samantha smiles sadly. “In a wild coincidence they also had vague terminal illnesses. It was part of why they were engaging in the particularly risky activities of drag racing and rollerskating on the day I met them. They each, separately and unknown to the other, had nothing left to live for… I guess that is until they met little ol’ me. And then once they were gone,” with that her voice catches and she runs her hand across a faded heart carved in the Wall of Lovers. “Once they were gone I also didn’t have much to live for and so why not take part in an obvious sham Fashion Week? Why not dress as half a horse? I just didn’t count on meeting my actual other half that day.” Jamie and Samantha share a passionate kiss. The smooch goes on and on, seemingly (and in actuality) for hours. It would have been extremely uncomfortable for Patrick and Kyle to stand there watching them if it wasn’t so beautiful. A beautiful unique tragic love. A tear runs down Kyle’s face as he ponders the beautiful unique mannequin he will craft to remember this moment by. Samantha and Jamie break their kiss and with eyes shining Samantha asks, “You wanted to know what was next?” Jamie nods. “It’s time to Rock.” That’s right! It is time to rock. Rocky IV and Rocky V that is. Rocky IV hasn’t always qualified, so we are jumping at that chance. Rocky V? That’s always qualified. For a Friend we are bringing along The Invisible Maniac. It’s about a maniac that turns himself invisible. It’s all there in the title. Let’s go!
Rocky V (1990) – BMeTric: 55.1; Notability: 52
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 4.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.7%; Higher BMeT: Captain America, Look Who’s Talking Too, The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter, Ghost Dad, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III; Higher Notability: RoboCop 2, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Predator 2, Days of Thunder, Jetsons: The Movie, Young Guns II, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Air America, Marked for Death, The Rookie, Captain America, Stella; Lower RT: Problem Child, Death Warrant, Graveyard Shift, Repossessed, Loose Cannons, Soultaker, Madhouse, Funny About Love, Captain America, Ghost Dad, Fire Birds, Spaced Invaders, Meet the Applegates, Where the Heart Is, Heart Condition, Ernest Goes to Jail, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Look Who’s Talking Too, Air America, Everybody Wins, and 27 more; Notes: I literally cannot believe Rocky V played on television as much as it did (72 times). It is also interesting that the top BMeT films are often just not that popular. Here Captain America played 17 times, but the next three after played 66, 51, and 32 times. Robocop 2 also played 54 times. Anyways, of all the Rocky films this is the big gun from a Notability and BMeT perspective.
New York Times – Rocky, Buffeted by Fists and Life, Returns to His Roots – HIDDEN in the attic at the Balboa manor house are a black leather jacket, an old sweatshirt and a porkpie hat, relics of the Rocky of yore. Early in “Rocky V,” the humbled ex-champ is forced to take these things, put them back on and go home to palookaville (in this case, South Philadelphia), as if he had never been noisily and conspicuously on top of the world. … It’s a smart move. There’s life in the old boy yet.
(MY GOD. How embarrassing for the New York Times. And that’s Janet Maslin, that ain’t no scrub watching this film. I can see the point … it just doesn’t square with the last 10 minutes of the film.)
(An unscrupulous promoter ehhhhhhhhh. It is kind of insane that they don’t actually fight in the film. It is ridiculous that they don’t even have the fight. It is effectively what Rocky Balboa is about.)
Directors – John G. Avildsen – ( Known For: Rocky; The Karate Kid; The Karate Kid Part II; Lean on Me; Inferno; The Power of One; Neighbors; Save the Tiger; Joe; The Formula; A Night in Heaven; Hurry Sundown; W.W. and the Dixie Dancekings; Happy New Year; Cry Uncle; Guess What We Learned in School Today?; Slow Dancing in the Big City; Foreplay; The Stoolie; Future BMT: The Karate Kid Part III; 8 Seconds; For Keeps?; BMT: Rocky V; Notes: Nominated for Traveling Hopefully, and won Best Director for Rocky. Kind of amazing he managed to make both the best and worst Rocky film.)
Writers – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Rocky; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Homefront; Creed III; F.I.S.T.; Paradise Alley; Future BMT: Staying Alive; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Rambo: Last Blood; Cobra; Over the Top; Driven; Rhinestone; Notes: He has only ever been nominated for Rocky films. Which … I mean looking at his writing credits, that makes perfect sense.)
Actors – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Rocky; Men in Black; The Suicide Squad; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Escape Plan; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Antz; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Cop Land; M*A*S*H; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Samaritan; Future BMT: Staying Alive; Ratchet & Clank; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Demolition Man; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Judge Dredd; Tango & Cash; Rambo: Last Blood; Assassins; Cobra; Daylight; The Specialist; Zookeeper; Grudge Match; Over the Top; Lock Up; The Expendables 4; Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Driven; Get Carter; Oscar; Rhinestone; Notes: Although, I do think people think Cop Land is the one people point to and say: that is where he should have been nominated or even won. I do like the performance, but the film is just a little blah.)
Talia Shire – ( Known For: The Godfather; The Godfather Part II; Rocky; The Godfather Part III; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; I Heart Huckabees; Palo Alto; Megalopolis; New York Stories; Sly; She’s So Lovely; Rad; Prophecy; The Sparks Brothers; The Dunwich Horror; Deadfall; Homo Erectus; Gas! -Or- It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It.; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; Notes: I did not realize Talia Shire was in Rad. She played Mrs. Jones. And now I need to see this film.)
Burt Young – ( Known For: Rocky; Once Upon a Time in America; Chinatown; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Win Win; New York, I Love You; Transamerica; Mickey Blue Eyes; Back to School; Convoy; Sly; Rob the Mob; The Pope of Greenwich Village; She’s So Lovely; The Killer Elite; Across 110th Street; Last Exit to Brooklyn; The Gambler; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; The Adventures of Pluto Nash; Going Overboard; Amityville II: The Possession; Notes: I find it crazy he was third billed here, it obviously should have been Stallone’s son. His son’s performance is crazy in this, but also it is quite bad.)
Budget/Gross – $42 million / Domestic: $40,946,358 (Worldwide: $119,946,358)
(This isn’t bad, but yeah, it is obvious the series had ended once the domestic take didn’t hit $100 million. I can’t imagine what Rocky VI would have been though … I guess him training his son?)
Rotten Tomatoes – 32% (12/38): Rocky V’s attempts to recapture the original’s working-class grit are as transparently phony as each of the thuddingly obvious plot developments in a misguided installment that sent the franchise flailing into longterm limbo.
(I cannot believe this has a 32% on Rotten Tomatoes. This film is genuinely horrid. And yeah, Rocky V is exclusively the reason this franchise went dark for years.)
New york Times Description: Scraping the barrel. Sweaty and juiceless.
(Really terrible. Also very funny that the whole film is based on the idea that he’s training the next big Rocky sensation, but the poster is more or less “not so fast.” D.)
Tagline(s) – Go for it! (F)
(Not this one. Go back to the one that implies the fight in the film is actually on the level of a world war.)
Keyword(s) – 1983-1991
Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Back to the Future (1985), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), Die Hard (1988), The Terminator (1984), Scarface (1983), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Future BMT: 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 59.1 Suburban Commando (1991), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.6 Ghost Dad (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Who’s That Girl (1987), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 53.5 Graffiti Bridge (1990), 52.5 Johnny Be Good (1988), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 49.3 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.7 Hercules (1983), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)
BMT: Jaws: The Revenge (1987), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Jaws 3-D (1983), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Going Overboard (1989), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), Mac and Me (1988), Caddyshack II (1988), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Howard the Duck (1986), Supergirl (1984), Cool as Ice (1991), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987), Leonard Part 6 (1987), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Superman III (1983), Poltergeist III (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Wild Orchid (1989), …
Best Options (franchise): 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Rocky V (1990), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), …
(Kind of crazy this isn’t one of the tops. The only one worth anything there I think is The Karate Kid Part III. That series really really goes off the rails.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 9) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sylvester Stallone is No. 1 billed in Rocky V and No. 1 billed in The Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 9. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.
Notes – Sylvester Stallone originally planned to make the effects of Rocky’s brain damage much more visible and painful to see, but altered these plans after watching a few days of footage because the sight of Rocky like that was “like seeing your favorite dog with dysplasia.”
During shooting, John G. Avildsen felt that cinematographer Steven Poster was over-lighting many scenes. He told Poster he wanted the film to look more like Rocky (1976), in which James Crabe often used a single spotlight to light an entire scene (such as the opening boxing match). Poster told Avildsen that the original film “looked like a cheap documentary”. Avildsen smiled and said, “Exactly”.
In an interview with Jonathan Ross, Sylvester Stallone was asked to rate each of the “Rocky” movies out of 10. He gave this movie zero.
Sylvester Stallone originally toyed with the idea of killing Rocky off at the end of the film. The plan was that Rocky would die in an ambulance on its way to the hospital with Adrian by his side. At the hospital, she would have announced to the world of his passing and his spirit would live on with a final flashback of the famous scene of him running up the steps. Stallone ultimately abandoned this concept and rewrote the ending.
This is the first movie where Rocky’s real name, Robert, is used. When Rocky first meets Tommy Gunn, as George Washington Duke pulls up in his limo, Duke says “Mr. Robert ‘Rocky’ Balboa!”
Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Irwin Winkler, Robert Chartoff)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Sylvester Stallone)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Talia Shire)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Burt Young)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (John G. Avildsen)
Jamie, Samantha, Patrick and Kyle all quadruple group hug. Tears and snot mingle on their shirts. For a brief shining moment Samantha sees her roller rink beaus looking down from heaven nodding and giving her a thumbs up. “I couldn’t help but overhear,” Patrick says, when the group hug had run its course, putting emphasis on the word ‘overhear’ in order to really hammer home the lessons they all learned that day. “But what ever happened to Alajandro and Brad?” Samantha smiles sadly. “In a wild coincidence they also had vague terminal illnesses. It was part of why they were engaging in the particularly risky activities of drag racing and rollerskating on the day I met them. They each, separately and unknown to the other, had nothing left to live for… I guess that is until they met little ol’ me. And then once they were gone,” with that her voice catches and she runs her hand across a faded heart carved in the Wall of Lovers. “Once they were gone I also didn’t have much to live for and so why not take part in an obvious sham Fashion Week? Why not dress as half a horse? I just didn’t count on meeting my actual other half that day.” Jamie and Samantha share a passionate kiss. The smooch goes on and on, seemingly (and in actuality) for hours. It would have been extremely uncomfortable for Patrick and Kyle to stand there watching them if it wasn’t so beautiful. A beautiful unique tragic love. A tear runs down Kyle’s face as he ponders the beautiful unique mannequin he will craft to remember this moment by. Samantha and Jamie break their kiss and with eyes shining Samantha asks, “You wanted to know what was next?” Jamie nods. “It’s time to Rock.” That’s right! It is time to rock. Rocky IV and Rocky V that is. Rocky IV hasn’t always qualified, so we are jumping at that chance. Rocky V? That’s always qualified. For a Friend we are bringing along The Invisible Maniac. It’s about a maniac that turns himself invisible. It’s all there in the title. Let’s go!
Rocky IV (1985) – BMeTric: 10.9; Notability: 54
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 16.0%; Notability: top 3.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.6%; Higher BMeT: Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, Howling II: … Your Sister Is a Werewolf, Red Sonja, Porky’s Revenge, King Solomon’s Mines, Perfect, Transylvania 6-5000, Creature, Gymkata, American Ninja, Private Resort, Invasion U.S.A., Once Bitten, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment, Death Wish 3, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, Avenging Angel, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, King David, A View to a Kill, and 20 more; Higher Notability: A View to a Kill, Spies Like Us, My Science Project, King David, Maxie, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, Santa Claus, Perfect; Lower RT: American Ninja, That Was Then… This Is Now, Head Office, Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer, The Slugger’s Wife, Maxie, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, King Solomon’s Mines, King David, Once Bitten, My Science Project, Private Resort, Fever Pitch, Death Wish 3, Summer Rental, Tuff Turf, Gymkata, Rustlers’ Rhapsody, Perfect, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, and 24 more; Notes: Obviously quite low BMeTric. If you look at the top 10 there, this guy played the most in the 90s (63 times), but Red Sonja is close behind (62 times). I do love that Gymkata played 35 times. There is something about that movie which felt like it was a modern 2000s rediscovery, but presumably a ton of people watched it in the 90s and that is how it became a cult film.
RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The “Rocky” series is finally losing its legs. It’s been a long run, one hit movie after another, but “Rocky IV” is a last gasp, a film so predictable that viewing it is like watching one of those old sitcoms where the characters never change and the same situations turn up again and again. Even Sylvester Stallone seems to be getting tired of the series; as the writer and director, as well as the star, he puts himself through the same old paces.
(I suppose the irony would be that Rocky as a series is basically still going, and not only that but the third Creed film is making all the same mistakes as Ebert is pointing out here. Time is a flat circle.)
(Apollo nooooooooooooooooo! Insane that they just mention that in the first trailer. The music sting at the end though is immediately a classic. The movie looks insane and amazing. Which it is.)
Directors – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: The Expendables; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Paradise Alley; Future BMT: Staying Alive; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; Notes: He didn’t direct as much as I really remember, although he directed more Rockys than I would have thought. He is likely to never direct again as well, he seems to be doing smaller films plus writing these days.)
Writers – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Rocky; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Homefront; Creed III; F.I.S.T.; Paradise Alley; Future BMT: Staying Alive; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Rambo: Last Blood; Cobra; Over the Top; Driven; Rhinestone; Notes: Staying Alive is upcoming and yeah … that means we are going to legit be done with Sly the writer and director. He does have an upcoming writing gig though, but I’m somewhat convinced that will be review-proof to some degree.)
Actors – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Rocky; Men in Black; The Suicide Squad; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Escape Plan; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Antz; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Cop Land; M*A*S*H; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Samaritan; Future BMT: Staying Alive; Ratchet & Clank; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Demolition Man; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Judge Dredd; Tango & Cash; Rambo: Last Blood; Assassins; Cobra; Daylight; The Specialist; Zookeeper; Grudge Match; Over the Top; Lock Up; The Expendables 4; Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Driven; Get Carter; Oscar; Rhinestone; Notes: And then there will be only Ratchet & Clank in the new year. When we watch Staying Alive that will be our 25th Stallone film. Insane. He seems a bit busy with Tulsa King these days to churn out stinkers.)
Talia Shire – ( Known For: The Godfather; The Godfather Part II; Rocky; The Godfather Part III; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; I Heart Huckabees; Palo Alto; Megalopolis; New York Stories; Sly; She’s So Lovely; Rad; Prophecy; The Sparks Brothers; The Dunwich Horror; Deadfall; Homo Erectus; Gas! -Or- It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It.; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; Notes: Nominated twice for Oscars for The Godfather Part II and Rocky. She was amazing in The Godfather Part II, and she is by far the best thing in some of these later Rocky films even though she doesn’t get much to do and people make fun of her for it.)
Burt Young – ( Known For: Rocky; Once Upon a Time in America; Chinatown; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Win Win; New York, I Love You; Transamerica; Mickey Blue Eyes; Back to School; Convoy; Sly; Rob the Mob; The Pope of Greenwich Village; She’s So Lovely; The Killer Elite; Across 110th Street; Last Exit to Brooklyn; The Gambler; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; The Adventures of Pluto Nash; Going Overboard; Amityville II: The Possession; Notes: Oh wow, we finished off Burt Young. I suppose I just always expected there to be another random weird 80s Burt Young to go to in the end. Rocky was really a phenomenon, he was also nominated for an Oscar for it.)
Budget/Gross – $28 million / Domestic: $127,873,716 (Worldwide: $300,473,716)
(Gigantic. Rocky V truly is so terrible is scared even the money-making machines of Hollywood away from the series for a decade or two. This isn’t even a good movie and it just easily breaks $250 million in the 80s.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 39% (20/51): Rocky IV inflates the action to absurd heights, but it ultimately rings hollow thanks to a story that hits the same basic beats as the first three entries in the franchise.
(Juuuuuuust right there. Indeed it hasn’t qualified for years, but just a few months ago that switched and Rocky IV became a qualifier again. We would have watched it regardless.)
New York Times Description: This time he boxes a Soviet giant. Guess who wins.
(Spoiler alert! It’s OK. Just wish it didn’t spoil the end. S for spoilees.)
Tagline(s) – Get ready for the next world war. (B+)
(Holy shit. That’s not clever but it is great. I want to give it an A, but I’m a stickler for the tagline as everyone knows.)
Keyword(s) – 1983-1991
Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Back to the Future (1985), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), Die Hard (1988), The Terminator (1984), Scarface (1983), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Future BMT: 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 59.1 Suburban Commando (1991), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.6 Ghost Dad (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Who’s That Girl (1987), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 53.5 Graffiti Bridge (1990), 52.5 Johnny Be Good (1988), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 49.3 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.7 Hercules (1983), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)
BMT: Jaws: The Revenge (1987), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Jaws 3-D (1983), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Going Overboard (1989), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), Mac and Me (1988), Caddyshack II (1988), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Howard the Duck (1986), Supergirl (1984), Cool as Ice (1991), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987), Leonard Part 6 (1987), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Superman III (1983), Poltergeist III (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Wild Orchid (1989), …
Best Options (franchise): 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Rocky V (1990), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 47.2 Big Top Pee-wee (1988), 45.7 Children of the Corn (1984), 44.8 American Ninja (1985), 44.7 Missing in Action (1984), 41.9 House II: The Second Story (1987), 41.4 Speed Zone (1989), 41.0 Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987), 40.9 The Delta Force (1986), 38.0 House Party 2 (1991), 37.7 Return of the Living Dead II (1988), 34.0 Ernest Saves Christmas (1988), 33.4 Death Wish 3 (1985), 31.3 Ernest Scared Stupid (1991), 31.0 Jetsons: The Movie (1990), 30.1 Creepshow 2 (1987), 26.6 National Lampoon’s European Vacation (1985), 24.2 A View to a Kill (1985), 24.1 Oh, God! You Devil (1984), 17.7 Phantasm II (1988), 17.4 Best of the Best (1989), 15.1 The Black Stallion Returns (1983), 10.9 Rocky IV (1985)
(This isn’t the one we did, we did Rocky V for this. It is kind of crazy Rocky V isn’t more reviled. It is actually truly trash, and bizarre to boot.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 9) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sylvester Stallone is No. 1 billed in Rocky IV and No. 1 billed in The Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 9. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.
Notes – Sylvester Stallone decided that for the shooting of the fight, he and Dolph Lundgren should hit one another for real, so as to increase the intensity of the scene. After doing three takes of Rocky taking shots to ribs, Stallone felt a burning in his chest, but ignored it. Later that night, he had difficulty breathing and was taken to a nearby emergency room. It was discovered that his blood pressure was over 200, and he had to be flown on a low-altitude flight from Vancouver, Canada to St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica, where he remained in intensive care for four days. What had happened was that Lundgren had punched him so hard in the chest, Stallone’s heart had slammed up against his breastbone and began to swell, cutting off the blood supply and restricting the oxygen flow throughout the body. . However, when asked about whether or not it really happened while answering a series of fan questions in a 2021 interview with the Guardian, Lundgren claimed to have no recollection of the incident. “I don’t know,” he said. “[Stallone] keeps talking about it, so maybe he’s right. He did go to the hospital, but I don’t know whether it was my punches or the fact that he was so overworked as the director, actor and writer. We shot those 15 rounds over two or three weeks, eight or 12 hours a day, so you’re throwing thousands of punches. If you don’t connect, it looks a bit fake, but it doesn’t mean you want to hurt the other guy. But there were no hard feelings.” He went on to explain that stand-ins and stunt doubles were rarely used, and that he has performed the majority of his own stunts and fight scenes–but that this has changed in more recent years. “Back in the day, you had to do it all yourself: Rocky IV, The Punisher, Masters of the Universe, all the Expendables,” he said. “I’ve jumped from a motorcycle to a truck; dangerous things I would never do now. Staying physically fit over the years has been nice. There aren’t many actors who can stay physically fit for a long time. Part of the game is trying to look fit, at least.”
“Rocky IV” became the highest-grossing film in the “Rocky” series to date, taking in just over 300 million dollars worldwide.
During filming, Dolph Lundgren and Carl Weathers really did not get along and got into an altercation. Lundgren threw Weathers into a corner of the boxing ring. After that, Weathers shouted profanities at Lundgren while leaving the ring and announced that he was calling his agent and quitting the movie. Only after Sylvester Stallone forced the two actors to reconcile did the movie continue. This event caused a four-day work stoppage while Weathers was talked back into the part and Lundgren agreed to tone down his aggressiveness.
James Brown is seen performing the song “Living In America” prior to the Creed vs. Drago match. The song was released as a single from the movie’s soundtrack and became Brown’s first Top 40 single in eleven years, and the last of his career.
Over 8,000 people auditioned for the part of Ivan Drago. Dolph Lundgren was first turned down by the casting directors for being too tall but later on, he got the chance to send photos and meet Sylvester Stallone who told him he had a good chance to get the part, but advised him to gain twenty pounds of muscle. In total, it took Lundgren several months to win the part.
Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Irwin Winkler, Robert Chartoff)
Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Sylvester Stallone)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Burt Young)
Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Brigitte Nielsen)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Talia Shire)
“What?” Samantha says, frustrated that even her totally rizz new entry in the Holly Ween series didn’t get through to Jamie. “So I just need to dream again and then I’ll make sure to listen… like in your book,” Jamie says, adding the last part as he had forgotten that he was supposed to have already figured this out because of the book. But how could he be expected to interpret the hidden themes of a book when it was so ill and dope? “Alright,” Samantha starts again, “are you listening?” Jamie nods, staring intently. “I am dying.” Jamie gasps. He asks all the obvious questions. How? When? What? “It just happened,” Samantha says sadly, tears in her eyes. “I first noticed it in my elbow three years ago while practicing the shot put. But it ended up being more serious than that. It’s hard to explain. Just complex and vague really, but I assure you it’s terminal.” Jamie is blubbering at this point. “Who? Why? Where?” He gets out, not sure what else to say. Samantha hugs him, hoping he now understands why she ran. Why she ran so far away. All night and day… but she couldn’t get away. Not from this love. Jamie suddenly pulls away. “No!” he yells, “no, I don’t believe it. I’m going to punch those doctors that made you believe this. Just really punch them hard in the arm. Or maybe if we just get a second opinion then it’ll turn out they were wrong.” At this his face crumples and he begins to blubber again. Once he finishes he looks up, hope and love shining in his eyes. “What now?” he asks, accepting his new reality. Patrick looks on and his heart breaks for them. Kyle’s heart is breaking too. That’s right! We are pulling double dancin’ duty by watching both Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. These are classics of the genre, so there’s not much more to say. As for the Friend, we went full nostalgia for this one and did Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure. Boy, I haven’t seen that since I was a little kid. Should be fun. Let’s go!
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984) – BMeTric: 35.2; Notability: 49
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 5.6%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 11.0%; Higher BMeT: Supergirl, Ghoulies, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Rhinestone, Bolero, Cannonball Run II, Children of the Corn, Missing in Action, Sheena, City Heat, C.H.U.D., Conan the Destroyer, The Ice Pirates, Exterminator 2; Higher Notability: Dune, Cannonball Run II, City Heat, Supergirl, Firstborn; Lower RT: The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Bolero, Exterminator 2, Reckless, Thief of Hearts, Crackers, Until September, Ghoulies, Blame It on Rio, Supergirl, Sheena, Cannonball Run II, Windy City, The Ice Pirates, American Dreamer, Missing in Action, Rhinestone, Tank, Mutant, Purple Hearts, and 4 more; Notes: Yeah, I actually kind of figured. This played 57 times on television. I genuinely thought that the thing about the two films was that the sequel is more ridiculous so it would get more play on television in the end. We did the run down for 1984 (wait, these films came out the same year for real?), so I’ll leave it by mentioning that The Ewok Adventure played 36 times on television which is both hilarious and expected (Disney needed to get their money’s worth in the end). Battle for Endor also played around the same amount, 34 times.
RogerEbert.com – 3 stars – Movie musicals used to be allowed to be goofy and lightweight, but in recent years they’ve turned into ponderous, overbudgeted artifacts that take themselves so seriously you feel guilty if you’re having a good time. Remember all the self-importance of “Annie“? That’s why a modest, cheerful little movie like “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo” is so refreshing. Here is a movie that wants nothing more than to allow some high-spirited kids to sing and dance their way through a silly plot just long enough to make us grin.
(Wowza, now that is a review. I would say he ain’t wrong … but he’s kind of wrong. There are moments of belief suspension that really don’t work in this film and I think that is what sinks it. Once Turbo can be cured by the power of dance the entire film loses a bit of its tension since, presumably, they could also use dance to magic money out of thin air if they wanted to.)
(Ooooo that Cannon logo just kills it everytime. … Is Ice-T good? His rap in this trailer is insane. And haha the eeeeeeevil land developer is so hilarious looking. The whitest oldest richest looking guy in the universe. Wait … huh, the title is listed as Breakin’ 2 is Electric Boogaloo in the trailer. That is something to follow up on.)
Directors – Sam Firstenberg – ( Known For: American Ninja 2: The Confrontation; Revenge of the Ninja; Ninja III: The Domination; Avenging Force; American Samurai; Cyborg Cop; Delta Force 3: The Killing Game; Cyborg Cop II; The Alternate; Quicksand; Motel Blue; Riverbend; Future BMT: American Ninja; BMT: Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: Was a big Dudikoff guy way back in the day. He really dabbled in it all though, e.g. Cyborg Cop II with David Bradley. Definitely a director we should be looking to for friends.)
Julie Reichert – ( BMT: Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: Once again, it begs the question as to why they didn’t get actual screenwriters for these movies. They replaced the original three people with … another person who never wrote a screenplay.)
Actors – Lucinda Dickey – ( Known For: Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films; Ninja III: The Domination; Cheerleader Camp; BMT: Grease 2; Breakin’; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: Her mother was a long time dance instructor in Kansas and that is where she got her start.)
Adolfo Quinones – ( Known For: Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films; Lambada; BMT: Tango & Cash; Breakin’; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo; Notes: We already went over this, his stage name was Shabba-Doo. Legitimately he is considered one of the forefathers of hip-hop dancing, an original Locker, and was an Original Soul Train Gang member.)
Michael Chambers – ( Notes: By all accounts his fashion was what influenced the 80s Michael Jackson style as he was his dance coach for 8 years.. Which is amazing, because we go from Boogaloo Shrimp -> Michael Jackson -> Corey Feldman in Dream a Little Dream. A direct line!)
Budget/Gross – $3 million / Domestic: $15,101,131 (Worldwide: $15,101,131)
(That’s more like it. It does seem like they gave it a bit more budget and got half the return and decided that they didn’t need to push their luck further. I do think, as Ebert says, this was influential by showing what a full blown “dance” movie could be, but also it shows how you do still need a plot.)
(Oh my gawd, it’s even better. This is an A+++++++++. Are there more plusses I can add to it. My word. It’s beautiful in the most ironic way possible.)
Tagline(s) – Believe in the beat that’s on the street, it’s hoppin’ and poppin’, they’re breakin’ and lockin’. (F)
(Nah. This isn’t working for me anymore.)
Keyword(s) – 1983-1991
Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Back to the Future (1985), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), Die Hard (1988), The Terminator (1984), Scarface (1983), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Future BMT: 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 59.1 Suburban Commando (1991), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.6 Ghost Dad (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Who’s That Girl (1987), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 53.5 Graffiti Bridge (1990), 52.5 Johnny Be Good (1988), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 49.3 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.7 Hercules (1983), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)
BMT: Jaws: The Revenge (1987), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Jaws 3-D (1983), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Going Overboard (1989), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), Mac and Me (1988), Caddyshack II (1988), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Howard the Duck (1986), Supergirl (1984), Cool as Ice (1991), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987), Leonard Part 6 (1987), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Superman III (1983), Poltergeist III (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Wild Orchid (1989), …
Best Options (franchise): 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), …
(Again, I don’t know why, but this wasn’t counted as a franchise. In a way we maybe should have considered Revenge of the Nerds II. Firstly, because the first is aggressively uncouth by today’s standards. And second because despite seeing the first a dozen times on Comedy Central growing up, I’ve never seen the second.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 23) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Lucinda Dickey is No. 1 billed in Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo and No. 1 billed in Breakin’, which also stars Ice-T (No. 7 billed) who is in Surviving the Game (No. 1 billed) which also stars Charles S. Dutton (No. 3 billed) who is in Random Hearts (No. 3 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (7 + 1) + (3 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 23. If we were to watch Unforgettable we can get the HoE Number down to 18.
Notes – The phrase “Electric Boogaloo” has become a common unofficial sub-title for any unnecessary sequel.
To film a scene with dancers breakdancing on walls, the makers borrowed the rotating room from A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984). To show thanks, a picture of Freddy’s glove is hanging on the wall.
Inspired by real-life events. The Radio-Tron, a youth center near MacArthur Park, Los Angeles, faced demolition. Youth director Carmelo Alvarez rallied the youth and community to march to Los Angeles City Hall and try to save the Radio-Tron.
This sequel was green-lit and rushed into production less than a year after the original film.
Christopher McDonald was offered the chance to reprise his role of James from Breakin’ (1984). He turned it down.
Bad Movie Twins 