Preview – Page 7 – Bad Movie Twins

Prom Night (2008) Preview

Kyle creeps down the darkened stairs, his flashlight flickering. “Damn prison batteries,” he mutters, his breath starting to puff out in front of him. It’s cold down there… too cold. He can feel the presence of the Big BM. “Hey you… you big dummy. Let go of my friends!” He yells, trying to summon all his courage. A deep scratchy laugh begins to echo from further in the basement, like the laugh of a very large man with a sore throat. Perhaps the man had spent the previous day in meetings trying to figure out a high profile merger or trying to close a deal to buy a local amusement park. Regardless of the reason, this man had spent the entire previous afternoon talking loudly and lot more than usual and then maybe celebrated the merger/purchase of the amusement park with friends… so now his deep voice was scratchier than usual. Such was the laugh of the Big BM. Suddenly Kyle bumps into something. My god! It’s a man! No wait… it’s a mannequin. What thuuuu….? The laugh begins to echo again and it suddenly dawns on Kyle where he is. “It… it can’t be,” he stutters. The lights come on and he finds himself in his childhood room. He’s surrounded by the mannequins his parents kept there. His mother is there yelling at him. Telling him he can’t go to prom. “There’s too much work in the mannequin factory, Kyle. You must help with the mannequins. Make them beautiful my beautiful boy,” she yells before sweeping out of the room. He wants to cry. Can’t she see they are already beautiful? “The most beautiful in the world,” he mutters. He turns to his favorite and nervously asks, “will you go to prom with me?” She says yes. That’s right! We are watching the 2008 horror classic Prom Night. This hits a sweet spot for me in that it is a high school/college horror film. Nothing better. Let’s go!

Prom Night (2008) – BMeTric: 84.3; Notability: 40

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 16.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.5%; Higher BMeT: Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie, The Hottie & the Nottie, The Love Guru; Higher Notability: The Day the Earth Stood Still, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Eagle Eye, New York, I Love You, Miracle at St. Anna, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, Meet Dave, Jumper, Bedtime Stories, Semi-Pro, Drillbit Taylor, An American Carol, 10,000 BC, The Happening, Made of Honor, The Love Guru, Superhero Movie, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Seven Pounds, Four Christmases, and 20 more; Lower RT: One Missed Call, Surfer, Dude, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, Strange Wilderness, The Haunting of Molly Hartley, College, The Accidental Husband, The Hottie & the Nottie, Babylon A.D., Bangkok Dangerous; Notes: That is a huge BMeTric. The four with higher BMeTrics are something else indeed. We’ve only seen four of the films with lover RTs as well, so much to look forward to.

Leonard Maltin – 2.5 stars – Three years after a homicidally obsessive teacher (Schaech) murdered her family, a lovely high-schooler (Snow) is stalked by an unwanted admirer on the night of her senior prom. A nominal remake of the post-Halloween slasher film, this better-than-average teen-skewing thriller relies on minimal graphic violence to sustain suspense.

(Wow, he actually liked it! He hates horror films, but … wait a minute, “minimal graphic violence”!! There it is. Of course he likes it well enough.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayvHRgYNvzU/

(Oh man the music!!!! Jesus I would watch a thousand of these films. It looks so dumb and amazing. Hell yes.)

Directors – Nelson McCormick – ( Future BMT: The Stepfather; BMT: Prom Night; Notes: A television director through and through. Directed such classics as Prison Break.)

Writers – J.S. Cardone – ( Known For: Alien Hunter; The Slayer; Shadowzone; Outside Ozona; True Blue; Black Day Blue Night; Exit in Red; Thunder Alley; A Climate for Killing; Future BMT: The Stepfather; The Forsaken; BMT: The Covenant; Prom Night; Notes: He wrote some truly sublime junk in his day. Sniper 3? Yes, please.)

Actors – Brittany Snow – ( Known For: Pitch Perfect; X; Pitch Perfect 2; Hairspray; Would You Rather; Someone Great; Hangman; Bushwick; Syrup; The Late Bloomer; The Vicious Kind; Finding Amanda; 96 Minutes; Janie Jones; Hooking Up; Christmas with the Campbells; On the Doll; Dial a Prayer; Always Woodstock; Petunia; Future BMT: John Tucker Must Die; Pitch Perfect 3; BMT: The Pacifier; Prom Night; Notes: Has six things in production at the moment. One is simply called It’s Christmas! Which I think is about someone dying or something … crazy if true.)

Scott Porter – ( Known For: Music and Lyrics; Speed Racer; The To Do List; 10 Years; Bandslam; The Good Guy; Descent; Brampton’s Own; Future BMT: Dear John; BMT: Prom Night; Notes: You best believe that is Jason Street! He does a lot of voice stuff these days, and more television like Up Here on Hulu.)

Jessica Stroup – ( Known For: Ted; The Informers; This Christmas; Homecoming; Broken; Pray for Morning; Future BMT: Jack Reacher: Never Go Back; The Hills Have Eyes 2; BMT: Prom Night; School for Scoundrels; Notes: Was in Iron Fist, the television series, but since that got canceled she really hasn’t done much. She got married in 2022 which could explain her career slowing a bit.)

Budget/Gross – $20,000,000 / Domestic: $43,869,350 (Worldwide: $57,197,876)

(That is pretty good. Man, horror really just prints money.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 9% (6/69): A dim and predictable remake of an already dull slasher film, this Prom Night fails to be memorable.

(Already a dull slasher film?! How dare … oh wait, yeah … I guess it does take the original like an hour to even get a kill cooking. So I guess that is fair.)

Reviewer Highlight: For a film about erotomania, Prom Night is a curiously flaccid affair. – Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times

Poster – Sklog Night

(I don’t like the poster mostly because it feels like it’s lying. It looks more like a torture porn film like Captivity or something. But it’s not. Way more fun that what this looks like. But it’s also not like it’s exactly bad, either. B.)

Tagline(s) – A Night To Die For. (A-)

(Sure. I mean, it’s not going to win any awards for originality, but it’s trying for the clever angle that I appreciate.)

Keyword(s) – 2007-2015

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Interstellar (2014), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Django Unchained (2012), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), The Avengers (2012), Shutter Island (2010), Avatar (2009)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.5 Shark Night (2011), 77.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.9 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.1 The Pyramid (2014), 69.6 College Road Trip (2008), 69.4 Gulliver’s Travels (2010), 69.2 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010), 68.7 Captivity (2007)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Prom Night (2008), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ouija (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Getaway (2013), …

Best Options (Horror): 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.3 Prom Night (2008), 78.5 Shark Night (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.9 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.1 The Pyramid (2014), 68.7 Captivity (2007), 66.3 The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014), 65.5 My Soul to Take (2010), 64.8 The Final Destination (2009), 64.0 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014), 63.0 The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), 61.3 A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), 58.8 Sorority Row (2009), 58.5 Resident Evil: Retribution (2012), 58.0 The Lazarus Effect (2015), 58.0 Legion (2010), 56.8 Shutter (2008), 56.0 Sinister 2 (2015), 55.2 Annabelle (2014), 55.1 The Green Inferno (2013), 54.2 The Messengers (2007), 52.4 The Eye (2008), 50.9 Saw 3D (2010), 50.2 House at the End of the Street (2012), …

(Hellllll yeah. I don’t even think Vampires Suck is even a horror film, so this one is (by far) the best option. I think crushing the Paranormal Activity films will be exciting in the future.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Brittany Snow is No. 1 billed in Prom Night and No. 4 billed in The Pacifier, which also stars Vin Diesel (No. 1 billed) who is in Babylon A.D. (No. 1 billed) which also stars Michelle Yeoh (No. 2 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 4 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch Sinister 2, and 40 Days and 40 Nights we can get the HoE Number down to 19.

Notes – Aside from the title and the concept of teenagers being stalked by a killer at prom, this film shares no connection to the original Prom Night (1980).

During the scene at the hair salon, the original Myers house from the original Halloween (1978) can be seen outside the window . Jamie Lee Curtis, who starred in Halloween, also starred in the original Prom Night (1980).

Nelson McCormick had done extensive research into proms going as far back as where and when the first prom was ever held in American history in the film, compiling detailed portfolios for the cast and crew, which had an introduction on the origin of the prom and what it represents. However, writer J.S. Cardone, when going over what would be the titular prom with McCormick, ultimately decided on a prom which, apart from the music and dancing of the Bridgeport seniors, was beyond the scale or budget of a standard American prom.

Scott Porter is 7 years older than Brittany Snow, while playing high school seniors who are the same age.

Johnathon Schaech (Richard Fenton) and Jana Kramer (April) met on the set of this movie and were married between 2010-2011.

Taken 2 Preview

“I ain’t afraid of no gh-gh-ghosts,” Jamie says, looking at the creaky stairs leading to the basement of the jail. It had been three months since they were convicted of Decapitation and Accessory to Decapitation and Jamie and Patrick were still rueing that unlucky gust of wind that resulted in the accidental removal of the unfortunate head. However, they also had to admit that perhaps something good would come out of their stint in the clink after all… friendship. They met Kyle when all three of them volunteered for dishwashing duty and soon they were known around the prison as The Triple Threats. Sure, Kyle had what appeared to be an unhealthy obsession with mannequins, but other than that they had come to trust him with their lives. So when they were offered the opportunity to clean out the prison basement in exchange for some extra spoons they jumped at the chance. Nothing could go wrong when the Triple Threats were together! But now facing the darkened stairway they wondered why it was that the room seemed to get ten degrees colder when the job was announced? Or why their arch rivals, The Three Amigos, didn’t fight them for the opportunity to get the precious spoons? Soon after they began to hear whispers about the Big BM and now they wondered whether those whispers were going to come back and haunt them. “I’m sure it’s fine,” Patrick says, taking a step down the stairs. “Yeah,” Jamie says, joining him on the top step. But before Kyle can make a crowd, a horrific bat-rat monster leaps from the darkness and drags them both into the basement. “Oh no!” Kyle yells in horror. “They’ve both been taken by the Big Basement Monster. Not just Jamie was taken! Patrick was taken, too!” That’s right! We are watching the sequel to the smash hit and franchise starter, Taken. The real prize at the end of all this is Taken 3, but you gotta start somewhere and not every week can be a backbreaking bonus week. So just Taken 2 on our plate… for now. Let’s go!

Taken 2 (2012) – BMeTric: 27.9; Notability: 32

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 21.6%; Notability: top 16.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 13.4%; Higher BMeT: Piranha 3DD, The Devil Inside, LOL, The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure, Paranormal Activity 4, The Apparition, Smiley, ATM, Chernobyl Diaries, The Cold Light of Day, The ABCs of Death, Dark Tide, So Undercover, Red Dawn, Soldiers of Fortune, Alex Cross, Lay the Favorite, 2016: Obama’s America, About Cherry, One for the Money, and 34 more; Higher Notability: Battleship, Dark Shadows, Ice Age: Continental Drift, This Means War, Total Recall, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Wrath of the Titans, Red Dawn, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, The ABCs of Death, Escape from Planet Earth, Underworld: Awakening, That’s My Boy, The Odd Life of Timothy Green, The Guilt Trip, The Watch, A Thousand Words, Man on a Ledge, Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike, The Vow, and 21 more; Lower RT: A Thousand Words, Dark Tide, One for the Money, The Apparition, The Cold Light of Day, Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike, Playing for Keeps, The Devil Inside, So Undercover, Fire with Fire, The Babymakers, Alex Cross, Piranha 3DD, House at the End of the Street, Gone, ATM, Meeting Evil, LOL, About Cherry, Soldiers of Fortune, and 13 more; Notes: We are at about half as far as the top RT films. We’ve seen a good number of everything, but this was the era where there was just too many bad movies! How will we ever watch all these bad movies?! More than 50 films have a BMeTric over 25, that’s insane!

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – “Taken 2” is slick, professional action, directed by Olivier Megaton. Let that name roll off your tongue (Olivier, not Oliver). It was produced and co-written by Luc Besson, the French master of thrillers, and Robert Mark Kamen, his writing partner on many films. The first “Taken” was made for $22 million and grossed 10 times that much, establishing Liam Neeson as an action star after a career spent in heavyweight roles. The cast is uniformly capable and dead serious, and if you’re buying what Luc Besson is selling, he’s not short-changing you.

(Wow, I do love when they just kind of like it? I can totally believe someone is picking up what this film is putting down. But even the first film was dumb, so it also isn’t surprising when people expected it to go even bigger and getting served mostly the same thing wasn’t doing it for them.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otHUjWVgIig/

(I kind of love that there is no explanation that he and his ex-wife are semi-back together in the film. The trailer looks dumb in that it does Taken Too and also then seems to not be Taken and instead is just a generic action movie in the end.)

Directors – Olivier Megaton – ( Known For: The Last Days of American Crime; The Red Siren; Exit; Future BMT: Taken 3; Transporter 3; Colombiana; Anna; BMT: Taken 2; Notes: He hasn’t done anything major in America since the third Taken film. French which makes sense.)

Writers – Luc Besson – ( Known For: Léon: The Professional; Taken; Lucy; The Fifth Element; The Transporter; Transporter 2; Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets; Unleashed; Revolver; Taxi; La Femme Nikita; District B13; Kiss of the Dragon; Taxi 2; The Big Blue; District 13: Ultimatum; Taxi 3; Wasabi; Bandidas; Angel-A; Future BMT: Taken 3; Transporter 3; The Family; From Paris with Love; Colombiana; Lockout; 3 Days to Kill; Anna; The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc; The Transporter Refueled; Arthur and the Invisibles; BMT: Taken 2; Taxi; Brick Mansions; Notes: Oh, he actually does seem to have a story credit. And he did Lockout too?! He really liked Maggie Grace.)

Robert Mark Kamen – ( Known For: Taken; The Fifth Element; The Transporter; The Karate Kid; Transporter 2; The Karate Kid; Lethal Weapon 2; Lethal Weapon 3; The Karate Kid Part II; Kiss of the Dragon; Bandidas; A Walk in the Clouds; Taps; The Power of One; Enter the Warriors Gate; Split Image; Future BMT: Taken 3; Transporter 3; Colombiana; The Karate Kid Part III; The Transporter Refueled; The Next Karate Kid; Gladiator; BMT: Taken 2; Angel Has Fallen; Brick Mansions; Notes: Has credits on the Taken television series and the Karate Kid television series naturally.)

Actors – Liam Neeson – ( Known For: The Dark Knight Rises; Batman Begins; Schindler’s List; Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Taken; Love Actually; Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker; Gangs of New York; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; The Lego Movie; Non-Stop; Unknown; The A-Team; The Grey; Ted 2; The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian; The Next Three Days; The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; A Walk Among the Tombstones; Future BMT: Kingdom of Heaven; Taken 3; A Million Ways to Die in the West; The Huntsman: Winter’s War; Entourage; Daddy’s Home 2; The Marksman; Krull; The Nut Job; Marlowe; High Spirits; Before and After; BMT: Taken 2; Clash of the Titans; Battleship; Wrath of the Titans; Men in Black: International; The Haunting; Memory; Blacklight; Retribution; Notes: The Neeson! His first film this year was good. BOO! I don’t think we’ll have another one this year, but he has seven films in pre-production so hopefully we’ll see a few in the coming years.)

Famke Janssen – ( Known For: X-Men: Days of Future Past; X-Men; Taken; X2; X-Men: The Last Stand; The Wolverine; GoldenEye; Rounders; The Faculty; The Wackness; The Vault; Celebrity; Once Upon a Time in Venice; Made; Lord of Illusions; The Ten; The Postcard Killings; 100 Feet; Knights of the Zodiac; The Gingerbread Man; Future BMT: Taken 3; Hide and Seek; House on Haunted Hill; Don’t Say a Word; Deep Rising; Redeeming Love; BMT: Taken 2; Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters; I Spy; Notes: Born in The Netherlands, and is probably most famous for X-Men.)

Maggie Grace – ( Known For: Taken; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Knight and Day; Faster; The Experiment; The Jane Austen Book Club; Aftermath; The Hurricane Heist; About Alex; Suburban Girl; We’ll Never Have Paris; Malice in Wonderland; Decoding Annie Parker; Love, Weddings & Other Disasters; Supercon; Unity; The Scent of Rain & Lightning; Creature Unknown; Flying Lessons; Showing Roots; Future BMT: Taken 3; Lockout; BMT: Taken 2; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; The Choice; The Fog; Notes: She is definitely most famous for Lost where she was honestly one of the worst bits of the show for the parts she was in. She’s in Fear the Walking Dead.)

Budget/Gross – $45,000,000 / Domestic: $139,854,287 (Worldwide: $376,152,455)

(That is quite good and it is definitely no wonder a third was made. I wonder how poorly that did to get the series canceled.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 22% (38/173): Taken 2 is largely bereft of the kinetic thrills — and surprises — that made the original a hit.

(Yeah sounds right. I think the original was just a unique experience and very titillating in its own way … and this was just a reheated version of that.)

Reviewer Highlight: Seems like a nonstop car and foot chase, with Albanian after Albanian falling victim to Bryan’s remarkable aim and hand-fighting skills. – Neil Genzlinger, New York Times

Poster – Taken 2: Electric Boogaloo

(I like the style of this even if it feels a little dated in today’s world. There is a grittiness to this that feels very of the time. But I like how they worked with the image of Neeson and the pop of red in the slightly dirtied Taken 2 font. It’s good. A.)

Tagline(s) – First they took his daughter. Now they’re coming for him. (B+)

(Sure. I mean it works. Wish they could have gotten there a little quicker and it’s not exactly the most creative thing in the world. But it does the trick.)

Keyword(s) – 2007-2015

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.3 Prom Night (2008), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.5 Shark Night (2011), 77.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.9 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.1 The Pyramid (2014), 69.6 College Road Trip (2008), 69.4 Gulliver’s Travels (2010), 69.2 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ouija (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Getaway (2013)…

Best Options (Action): 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 69.2 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010), 65.9 The Cold Light of Day (2012), 63.7 Underdog (2007), 62.2 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 61.6 G-Force (2009), 58.5 Resident Evil: Retribution (2012), 58.0 Legion (2010), 57.8 The Transporter Refueled (2015), 56.9 Land of the Lost (2009), 54.4 The Counselor (2013), 52.1 Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010), 51.6 The Spy Next Door (2010), 50.8 Your Highness (2011), 50.5 Cop Out (2010), 50.3 The Last Legion (2007), …

(Well out of the best options, but screw it. WE LOVE FRANCHISES!! I think Legion could have been insane though. Looking forward to that.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Liam Neeson is No. 1 billed in Taken 2 and No. 1 billed in Memory, which also stars Guy Pearce (No. 2 billed) who is in Justice (No. 3 billed) which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 16. If we were to watch Marlowe we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The movie was shot as an R-rated film, but it was later edited down to a PG-13 for its theatrical release, just like its predecessor, and its sequel.

Although this movie mostly involves Albanian mafia and thugs, there is only one member of the cast who actually is Albanian.

In the final bathhouse fight scene, Bryan aims a Steyr M9A1 at an unarmed Suko, but Suko pushes his palm into the muzzle of the gun pushing the slide slightly, but noticeably back. Due to the browning tilting barrel of the Steyr M9A1, this action misaligned the firing pin with the primer of the chambered round, making it unable to fire until realigned. This is a very real world scenario.

The movie was filmed mostly in Istanbul, Turkey, and the production team faced some challenges during filming. One of the most notable challenges was when a stunt driver crashed a car into a storefront during a chase scene, causing real damage to the store. The production team had to negotiate with the store owner to continue filming in the area.

When production was announced, it was not immediately clear if Liam Neeson would return for the lead role. Mickey Rourke was considered as a replacement, before Neeson confirmed his return.

Dumb and Dumber To Preview

“I ain’t afraid of no gh-gh-ghosts,” Jamie says, looking at the stately manor that Patrick has taken them to. Patrick tells him that he had graduated from the Style Section of Love 101 and was ready to ‘Get all the feels.’ “And by feels I mean time to seal the deal with what every woman wants,” Patrick explains. Jamie nods in understanding. “A firm handshake,” he says matter of factly. “Only the firmest,” Patrick agrees. Kyle looks wistful for a moment remembering when he and Rachel shared their first firm handshake. “But what does this have to do with a ghost house (with the most house)?” Jamie asks. Patrick chuckles. “What’s a better way to strengthen those handshake muscles than busting ghosts?” He says, handing proton packs to Jamie and Kyle. “Wait a second, where’s your proton pack?” Jamie asks. Patrick slaps him on the shoulder and assures him that he’s been shaking hands with his lady since 1982. As they approach the house Jamie is just glad that Samantha had that European tour set for her new book. It sure does look spooky and he wouldn’t like her to see how scared he is. Just when he is about to declare this lesson to be the dumbest one yet, Patrick pipes up jovially. “This actually reminds me of when we all first met,” he says. “You mean in jail?” Kyle asks, his voice hitching in fear. “Oh yeah,” Jamie says, momentarily distracted from how hauntingly spooktacular the house looks, “we had to clean out the basement of the jail, remember? Now that you mention it, that was way scarier than this.” Suddenly he’s not feeling so bad. “Yeah,” Patrick says remembering, “we were all just too young and dumb to be scared.” That’s right! We are doing a double dose of “dumb” with a healthy serving of “meet” by watching the Dumb and Dumber prequel and sequel: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd and Dumb and Dumber To. We saw the prequel in theaters oh so many years ago and it has always been a point of pride. This cycle seemed like the perfect time to break it out by pairing it with the sequel that is a surprising BMT qualifier. Let’s go!

Dumb and Dumber To (2014) – BMeTric: 47.8; Notability: 61

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 10.8%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 27.0%; Higher BMeT: Left Behind, The Legend of Hercules, Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas, Ouija, God’s Not Dead, V/H/S Viral, Devil’s Due, The Pyramid, Tammy, A Haunted House 2, The Prince, Sex Tape, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, I, Frankenstein, Outcast, Rage, American Heist, Annabelle, Everly, Annie, and 7 more; Higher Notability: Transformers: Age of Extinction, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Exodus: Gods and Kings, Dracula Untold, Transcendence; Lower RT: Left Behind, The Prince, Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas, Outcast, I, Frankenstein, The Legend of Hercules, Ouija, Some Kind of Beautiful, A Haunted House 2, Just Before I Go, The Forger, The Angriest Man in Brooklyn, The Cobbler, The Longest Week, The Bag Man, Seventh Son, God’s Not Dead, The Best of Me, Good People, Rage, and 47 more; Notes: We’ve seen the top four BMeT, but then it gets spotty. My god, The Pyramid. We really need to do The Pyramid at some point.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Bottom line: For every joke that works, there are five that fall flat and one that elicits waves of disgust. You might be able to handle that ratio, however, just to hear absurd discussions like this one between Penny and Lloyd. “I’ve always wanted to go to India and work in a leprechaun colony,” Penny says. Counters Lloyd, after digesting the statement: “I think you mean Ireland.”

(Not a terrible joke, although it is borderline “cadence of a joke”. Like I get the joke, but also it feels like Lloyd is almost too dumb to make the joke in a way that makes sense. Overall I agree with the sentiment though.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmNddThxi4c/

(I remember seeing the beginning of this trailer and being like NOPE. Such a dumb joke. I would rather they suggested they just had silly adventures for 25 years or whatever. Some of the others are decent, although all the good jokes are probably in this trailer.)

Directors – Bobby Farrelly – ( Known For: There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Kingpin; Stuck on You; Fever Pitch; Osmosis Jones; The Three Stooges; Champions; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Notes: They have kind of struck out on their own recently. He directed Champions without Peter for example.)

Peter Farrelly – ( Known For: Green Book; Dumb and Dumber; There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Kingpin; Stuck on You; Fever Pitch; Osmosis Jones; The Three Stooges; The Greatest Beer Run Ever; Ricky Stanicky; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Movie 43; Notes: Ricky flipping Stanicky. That one was Peter on his own as well. He also won two Oscars for Green Book.)

Writers – Sean Anders and John Morris – ( Known For: We’re the Millers; Hot Tub Time Machine; She’s Out of My League; Instant Family; Mr. Popper’s Penguins; Sex Drive; Spirited; Never Been Thawed; Future BMT: Horrible Bosses 2; Daddy’s Home 2; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Notes: They’ve had an amusing string of bad sequels. No upcoming which is odd, last film was Spirited.)

Peter Farrelly – ( Known For: Green Book; Dumb and Dumber; There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Stuck on You; The Three Stooges; The Greatest Beer Run Ever; Ricky Stanicky; Outside Providence; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Yeah won the Oscar for Green Book. A lot of their films are set in Providence or sometimes a place that could be confused for Martha’s Vineyard where they also own houses.)

Bobby Farrelly – ( Known For: Dumb and Dumber; There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Stuck on You; The Three Stooges; Outside Providence; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; Bushwhacked; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Huh, he wrote Bushwacked under a pseudonym it would seem, as Danny Byers. Strange.)

Bennett Yellin – ( Known For: Dumb and Dumber; In the Blood; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Writing the forever-in-production remake/sequel/requel (?) of Police Academy.)

Mike Cerrone – ( Known For: Me, Myself & Irene; The Three Stooges; Ricky Stanicky; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Notes: Seems to be a friend of the Farrellys as he gets punch up credit on a few of their films and bit parts as well.)

Actors – Jim Carrey – ( Known For: The Truman Show; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; Bruce Almighty; The Mask; Dumb and Dumber; Yes Man; Liar Liar; Ace Ventura: Pet Detective; How the Grinch Stole Christmas; Me, Myself & Irene; A Series of Unfortunate Events; Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues; The Cable Guy; Sonic the Hedgehog; Horton Hears a Who!; Man on the Moon; A Christmas Carol; Mr. Popper’s Penguins; I Love You Phillip Morris; Sonic the Hedgehog 2; Future BMT: Kick-Ass 2; Fun with Dick and Jane; The Incredible Burt Wonderstone; Pink Cadillac; BMT: Batman Forever; Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; The Number 23; Dumb and Dumber To; Once Bitten; Notes: I remember looking at this ages ago, but he’s never not been famous since he broke bit with his golden year with The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, and Ace Ventura. It seems like he’s faded on occasion, but if you look he never really has, he just changes audience focus. Nominated for an Emmy for Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond.)

Jeff Daniels – ( Known For: The Martian; Looper; Dumb and Dumber; Speed; Steve Jobs; State of Play; The Hours; Pleasantville; Good Night, and Good Luck.; The Squid and the Whale; Arachnophobia; Terms of Endearment; The Lookout; Traitor; Away We Go; The Purple Rose of Cairo; Blood Work; Radio Days; Gettysburg; Fly Away Home; Future BMT: Allegiant; 101 Dalmatians; RV; My Favorite Martian; Space Chimps; The Butcher’s Wife; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Gods and Generals; Notes: Won two Emmys for The Newsroom and Godless. Was nominated for three more. I find it crazy he’s never been nominated for an Oscar for things like The Purple Rose of Cairo.)

Rob Riggle – ( Known For: The Hangover; 21 Jump Street; 22 Jump Street; Step Brothers; The Other Guys; Hotel Transylvania; Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby; Hotel Transylvania 2; The Lorax; 12 Strong; Going the Distance; Absolutely Anything; Strays; True Memoirs of an International Assassin; Big Miracle; Just Before I Go; Super High Me; The Curse of Bridge Hollow; Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life; Dead Rising: Watchtower; Future BMT: The Internship; Let’s Be Cops; Larry Crowne; Night School; The War with Grandpa; The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard; How to Be a Latin Lover; UglyDolls; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Killers; Midnight Sun; My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2; Furry Vengeance; Unaccompanied Minors; Notes: The classic story: a soldier turned comedian who now is a pretty standard punch up guy when they need someone to be funny randomly in a film. Nominated for an Emmy for voice over in Prep & Landing: Naughty vs. Nice.)

Budget/Gross – $40,000,000 / Domestic: $86,208,010 (Worldwide: $169,837,010)

(That actually is pretty good. I’m constantly surprised more comedies aren’t still making it to theaters. You can clearly make them on a budget with experienced comedy filmmakers.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 30% (46/153): Dumb and Dumber To does have its moments, but not enough of them — and the Farrelly brothers’ brand of humor is nowhere near as refreshingly transgressive as it once seemed.

(Yeah I think that is constantly the problem with films like this. The humor has evolved but it is almost never enough to make sense in making a good sequel.)

Reviewer Highlight: The Farrellys are still not much interested in film as a visual medium, and when Lloyd and Harry aren’t smacking each other or dropping their pants, you might as well be listening to a radio play. – Manohla Dargis, New York Times

Poster – Sklog and Skloger Sklog

(It is an iconic image and even the silly 90’s font is iconic. I think some people cringed at the title, but it’s totally in keeping with the first film. Anyway, it’s fine. B-.)

Tagline(s) – The average person uses 10% of their brain capacity. Imagine what he could do with 1%. (D)

(Lol, what?)

Keyword(s) – 2007-2015

Top 10: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), The Hangover Part II (2011), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), In Time (2011), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 2012 (2009), Terminator Salvation (2009), Due Date (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.3 Prom Night (2008), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.5 Shark Night (2011), 78.0 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 73.6 The Last Exorcism Part II (2013), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 72.0 Dance Flick (2009), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011), Getaway (2013), …

Best Options (Comedy): 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 72.0 Dance Flick (2009), 70.2 Delta Farce (2007), 69.6 College Road Trip (2008), 69.4 Gulliver’s Travels (2010), 69.1 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010), 68.5 Yogi Bear (2010), 65.1 An American Carol (2008), 64.8 Sex Tape (2014), 64.7 The Comebacks (2007), 64.6 Tooth Fairy (2010), 63.7 Underdog (2007), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.1 Space Chimps (2008), 61.1 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 60.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 60.9 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 60.8 Meet Dave (2008), 60.7 College (2008), 60.0 Code Name: The Cleaner (2007), 60.0 Witless Protection (2008), 60.0 Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil (2011), …

(It is there, but obviously lower than the absurd options we still have available. My god. There are so many bad movies that to speed things up I only scraped data on the bad ones … there were like 100 qualifying movies one year, it was an insane time. Anyways. Out of all the movies I can already tell most are going to be no fun nonsense, but someday we’ll watch Meet Dave and Holy Man and stuff and finish off Eddie Murphy’s catalog.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jim Carrey is No. 1 billed in Dumb and Dumber To and No. 1 billed in The Number 23, which also stars Virginia Madsen (No. 2 billed) who is in Firewall (No. 3 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 14. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – No CGI was used for the full body paint on Rob Riggle to blend in with the hotel hallway. It took six hours to paint him and blend in accurately with the vending machine.

The Farrelly Brothers couldn’t get in touch with Brady Bluhm to reprise his role as Billy. They eventually found him through Facebook and were able to get him for the sequel. Due to regulations, Bluhm had to audition for the Farrellys.

Jim Carrey nearly dropped out of the sequel because he felt that the project’s original producers, Warner Bros., weren’t enthusiastic about the film. Carrey eventually decided to rejoin the project, although Warner Bros. dropped the project, which was then taken up by Red Granite Pictures and Universal Studios.

This marks the first film since Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) where Jim Carrey reprises his character from a previous film.

Numerous posters and official pieces of artwork depict Harry and Lloyd in the “dog van” from the original Dumb and Dumber (1994). However, in the actual movie, they are in it for less than one minute of screen time.

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd Preview

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003) – BMeTric: 88.8; Notability: 40

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 22.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.2%; Higher BMeT: The Room, Gigli, House of the Dead, … Higher Notability: The Matrix Revolutions, Bad Boys II, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, Brother Bear, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Scary Movie 3, The Haunted Mansion, The Cat in the Hat, Gods and Generals, Timeline, Hollywood Homicide, Tears of the Sun, The Core, Agent Cody Banks, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life, Cradle 2 the Grave, Duplex, Paycheck, Beyond Borders, Wonderland, and 36 more; Lower RT: Dorm Daze, The Foreigner, Hangman’s Curse, Gold Diggers, House of the Dead, Gigli, Kangaroo Jack, From Justin to Kelly, My Boss’s Daughter, Grind, Marci X, Gods and Generals, The Cat in the Hat, The Order, Darkness Falls; Notes: Jesus, that is one high BMeT. And the best bit is that there are apparently three others that beat it? We still haven’t seen House of the Dead, although it was at one point on the docket for 2003 as horror for the next cycle. I think we nixed it ultimately, so it’ll have to wait still.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB – Desperate prequel to the 1994 comedy hit shows the two oafish friends meeting up in high school and becoming pawns in their slimy principal’s scheme to get funding for a special education class – and abscond with the funds. The actors playing younger versions of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels do a good job, but this movie is appallingly unfunny; a particular waste of Levy and Oteri’s comedy talents.

(He really can’t help himself, he needs to add in that semicolon. This is probably the first BOMB in quite a while. He doesn’t throw them out willy nilly.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdjX8Voj5vI/

(Wow, remember when trailers would make fun of other movies like Lord of the Rings. Kind of weird that Richardson was hired first because I think he looks much worse as a young Harry as Olsen does as Lloyd.)

Directors – Troy Miller – ( Known For: Run Ronnie Run; Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a Story; Future BMT: Jack Frost; BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Nominated for 7 Emmys for things like editing a movie for the Emmys, but also for Flight of the Conchords. He’s directed a ton of random television like Arrested Development and Brooklyn Nine-nine.)

Writers – Peter Farrelly and Bobby Farrelly – ( Known For: Green Book; Dumb and Dumber; There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Stuck on You; The Three Stooges; The Greatest Beer Run Ever; Ricky Stanicky; Outside Providence; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Obviously just got a credit for the characters.)

Bennett Yellin – ( Known For: Dumb and Dumber; In the Blood; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Also just characters, but looking through his filmography reminds me that there is a Dumb and Dumber cartoon … should I watch that?)

Robert Brener – ( BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Was also an executive producer on the movie.)

Troy Miller – ( BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Pretty much his only actual screenplay credit. What a bizarre movie. I think both of these guys only wrote this and nothing else in their careers.)

Actors – Derek Richardson – ( Known For: Hostel; Hostel: Part II; Reeker; The Power of Few; Home; BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Is married to Franka Potente from The Bourne Identity. Was the original actor cast in the film.)

Eric Christian Olsen – ( Known For: Cellular; Sunshine Cleaning; Beerfest; Battle of the Sexes; The Last Kiss; Celeste & Jesse Forever; Band of Robbers; The Six Wives of Henry Lefay; Sun Dogs; Local Boys; The Relationtrip; Future BMT: Eagle Eye; The Thing; Not Another Teen Movie; The Hot Chick; The Back-up Plan; Fired Up!; The Comebacks; BMT: Pearl Harbor; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; License to Wed; Notes: Has been in over 300 episodes of NCIS: Los Angeles.)

Eugene Levy – ( Known For: American Pie; Finding Dory; American Pie 2; American Reunion; American Wedding; Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; Over the Hedge; Serendipity; Vacation; Goon; Father of the Bride; Splash; Best in Show; Father of the Bride Part II; Astro Boy; Heavy Metal; Multiplicity; Waiting for Guffman; Taking Woodstock; A Mighty Wind; Future BMT: The Man; Down to Earth; Holy Man; Almost Heroes; The Ladies Man; Armed and Dangerous; I Love Trouble; Madea’s Witness Protection; Club Paradise; Once Upon a Crime…; Speed Zone; BMT: Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Bringing Down the House; New York Minute; Notes: Famously on SCTV and was nominated for 13 Emmys, 9 for SCTV (won two) and 4 for Schitt’s Creek (won two).)

Budget/Gross – $19,000,000 / Domestic: $26,276,465 (Worldwide: $39,267,515)

(like … close, but yeah, probably pretty bad. But I should say, we gave them like $10 I’m sure. I distinctly remember seeing this in theaters. What a wild life I’ve led.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (12/119): This lame prequel induces more groans than laughs. Rent the original instead.

(Man, just a shade over 10% here. That seems like a crime. How does this have any good reviews?)

Reviewer Highlight: While Dumb and Dumber possessed a bracing, genuine vulgarity, this new film is more often merely disgusting as it piles up jokes involving various bodily discharges and the unpleasant things that can be done with them. – David Kehr, New York Times

Poster – Sklog and Sklogerer: When Jamie Met Patrick

(I distinctly remember this poster from when it came out. It is terrible. You could fire this off in powerpoint in an afternoon. D.)

Tagline(s) – The evolution of dumb… (B-)

(I’m OK with this. I just have one question. Is this actually supposed to be a play on ‘The evolution of man’ but with ‘dumb’ replacing ‘man’? I assume so, but I can’t tell if that is a good or bad thing.)

Keyword(s) – 2007-2015

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011), Getaway (2013), …

(What a bonus. Out of all the ones we’ve done (and it is way more than just those listed) probably In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is the craziest. Although part of me wants to say Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li is probably the biggest bang for your buck.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Mimi Rogers is No. 3 billed in Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd and No. 4 billed in Lost in Space, which also stars Heather Graham (No. 7 billed) who is in Say It Isn’t So (No. 2 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (3 + 4) + (7 + 2) + (1 + 2) = 19. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Early on, South Park (1997) creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were lined up to write the prequel for $1.5 million. They later decided to not work on the project and returned all of the money to New Line.

Due to events that retroactively occur/are stated in Dumb and Dumber To (2014), When Harry Met Lloyd is no longer canon.

The truck that pulls in front of Jessica as she is chasing the short school bus is hauling “Turbo Lax”, the same laxative Lloyd gives Harry in the original Dumb and Dumber (1994).

Lin Shaye was the only cast member to star in both the original Dumb and Dumber (1994) and the prequel.

Eric Christian Olsen was repeatedly denied the role of Lloyd because the producers thought he was “too good-looking”. It was only after seeing some home-video footage of Eric in full make-up improvising a scene with already-cast Derek Richardson that they gave him the role.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Eric Christian Olsen, Derek Richardson)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Robert Brener, Troy Miller)

Poltergeist (2015) Preview

“That was amazing,” Jamie says and then turns to everyone else. “Wasn’t that am…” he stops, looking bewildered. Apparently while he was listening to Sam’s story they were let out of jail. He looks up at a banner hanging above him that reads “The Men in Black Take London: Fashion Made Simply Complicated.” Next to that nonsense is a picture of Kyle, Jamie and Patrick posed like Charlie’s Angels in tuxedos. “What thuuuuu,” Jamie says dumbly. “Finally, the prodigal son has returned,” Patrick says from behind him. Jamie swings around to find Kyle and Patrick smirking at him. How dare they smirk like a couple Sir Smirks-a-lots at him! Outrageous! “And by prodigal son I mean your brain since you’ve been listening blankly to Sam recite that (I have to admit, quite good) book for the last 48 hours.” Sam blushes at the compliment given by one of their generation’s great American writers. “Meanwhile, Kyle here has been putting in the work,” Patrick says, patting Kyle on the back. It’s time for him to blush. “The Fashion Police weren’t such bad guys and with the help of Rachel they all agreed that it was all a misunderstanding.” Patrick elbows him in the ribs. Kyle continues, “And maybe the Fashion Police invited me to be part of their softball team and then maybe I mentioned my idea for a tuxedo that was not just hard to put on, but almost impossible.” Patrick butts in, “It’s a tuxedo that’s like an escape room, except you’re trying to escape into the tuxedo!” Patrick’s eyes are shining maniacally. “Ahem, anyway,” Patrick says, “our work here is about done.” Then gathering himself and pulling Jamie aside. “ But your work is just beginning,” he says softly, “How do you feel about ghosts?” That’s right! Busting makes us feel good, and by that I mean we like to bust up franchises that we haven’t quite finished for BMT. In this case we fairly recently watched Poltergeist II (crazy ending) and Poltergeist III (Ammmaaaazzziinnnggg) and that completed the original trilogy. But we still had one disastrous remake left. Poltergeist (2015). Let’s go!

Poltergeist (2015) – BMeTric: 68.6; Notability: 38

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.6%; Notability: top 12.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 25.8%; Higher BMeT: Fifty Shades of Grey, Fantastic Four, The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, The Gallows, The Boy Next Door, Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, Knock Knock, The Ridiculous 6; Higher Notability: Entourage, Jupiter Ascending, Pixels, Pan, Terminator Genisys, The Divergent Series: Insurgent, Point Break, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip, Fantastic Four, Blackhat, Mortdecai, The Last Witch Hunter, Child 44, The Wedding Ringer, Fifty Shades of Grey, Unfinished Business, Little Boy, Daddy’s Home, The Ridiculous 6, Victor Frankenstein, and 10 more; Lower RT: The Ridiculous 6, Freaks of Nature, Home Sweet Hell, Extraction, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, Rock the Kasbah, Survivor, Hot Pursuit, Hitman: Agent 47, Fantastic Four, Pay the Ghost, Unfinished Business, Point Break, Mortdecai, The Boy Next Door, Area 51, Hot Tub Time Machine 2, Return to Sender, Sinister 2, Regression, and 43 more; Notes: Out of the Higher BMeT we’ve seen all but three. And oh man … you remember Unfinished Business? My god. It was like the Waiting For Forever of its era. Remember Waiting For Forever?

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Rarely has a remake felt more contractually obligated than the 2015 version of “Poltergeist.” There are a few decent performances, a nice riff on the technology fears that drove the original movie, and a centerpiece of horror that works, but never once do you get the feeling that the people behind this remake are here because of artistic passion or creative drive. They’re here because, well, somebody had to be here, so why not them? With remakes of “Nightmare on Elm Street,” “Friday the 13th,” “Evil Dead,” and more already on the books, “Poltergeist” is even arguably a bit late to the party. And they didn’t bring a gift.

(Sounds correct. What a wild time the early 2010s were with horror. I feel like we are in the same place today. They are trying to kick start big budget mainstream horror and something is tripping them up. Probably that real horror-heads expect things that are more extreme than what the mainstream is willing to handle. So you end up with Scream 6 or M3GAN as the big hits (i.e. borderline horror-comedy).)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HD2sz9RVzfM/

(“We can’t call the cops, what are we going to tell them?” Uh, that your daughter is missing? Good to see Jared Harris though.)

Directors – Gil Kenan – ( Known For: Monster House; City of Ember; A Boy Called Christmas; Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire; BMT: Poltergeist; Notes: Holy shit, the director of Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire … that makes a lot of sense. Nominated for an Oscar for Monster House.)

Writers – David Lindsay-Abaire – ( Known For: Oz the Great and Powerful; Rise of the Guardians; Robots; Rabbit Hole; The Family Fang; Future BMT: Inkheart; BMT: Poltergeist; Notes: Frankly, the fact that they seemed to have gotten kids’ film writers and directors for this film is probably all you need to know about it. Apparently did a pass on Kung Fu Panda 4.)

Steven Spielberg – ( Known For: A.I. Artificial Intelligence; The Goonies; Close Encounters of the Third Kind; Poltergeist; What Lies Beneath; The Fabelmans; The Sugarland Express; Ace Eli and Rodger of the Skies; BMT: Poltergeist; Notes: The rest are just the people who wrote the original including Spielberg himself. At one point he was running all of WB’s cartoon division back in the day, trying to resurrect Looney Tunes and creating Roger Rabbit.)

Michael Grais and Mark Victor – ( Known For: Poltergeist; Death Hunt; Future BMT: Marked for Death; BMT: Poltergeist; Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Cool World; Notes: Cool World! They got credits on the video game which I now feel like I should play.)

Actors – Sam Rockwell – ( Known For: The Green Mile; Iron Man 2; Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; Jojo Rabbit; Moon; Seven Psychopaths; Cowboys & Aliens; The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; Charlie’s Angels; The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford; Galaxy Quest; Vice; The Way Way Back; Matchstick Men; Frost/Nixon; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Richard Jewell; Confessions of a Dangerous Mind; Everybody’s Fine; See How They Run; Future BMT: The Sitter; G-Force; Strictly Business; BMT: Poltergeist; Argylle; Notes: Interesting career in that he really doesn’t seem like he is ever in bad films, and then we watch two in quick succession. Won an Oscar for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Nominated for another for Vice.)

Rosemarie DeWitt – ( Known For: La La Land; Cinderella Man; Rachel Getting Married; Kill the Messenger; The Company Men; Promised Land; The Professor; A Little Bit of Heaven; Your Sister’s Sister; Margaret; Sweet Virginia; Arizona; Digging for Fire; Nobody Walks; Afterschool; The Estate; Touchy Feely; Purple Violets; Tenure; The Great New Wonderful; Future BMT: The Watch; The Odd Life of Timothy Green; Men, Women & Children; BMT: Poltergeist; Notes: I don’t know why but she gives me heavy television energy, but really she’s only been in things like Unite States of Tara, but mostly does movies. It feels like she plays “mothers” a lot.)

Kennedi Clements – ( BMT: Poltergeist; Notes: She hasn’t been doing much, but probably is in school and junk.)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $47,425,125 (Worldwide: $95,437,994)

(Yeah, pretty bad. Always bad when the original makes a ton more than the remake 35 years later.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (40/136): Paying competent homage without adding anything of real value to the original Poltergeist, this remake proves just as ephemeral (but half as haunting) as its titular spirit.

(Sounds correct. Although I might challenge the concept that it was competent.)

Reviewer Highlight: [A] professionally executed yet bloodless film … an act of homage that hews reverently to its source material while missing the essential spirit and vitality that once powered it. – Andrew Barker, Variety

Poster – Poo-tergeist

(Yeah, well… they all can’t be winners. I don’t like how dim this is. Also it takes the least scary part of the first film and puts it front and center. That clown was always ridiculous. C-.)

Tagline(s) – They know what scares you. (C)

(Cool. ‘They’re back’ would have sufficed. This is accurate and short. That’s what I got.)

Keyword(s) – 2015-2023

Top 10: Avengers: Endgame (2019), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Deadpool (2016), Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015), Parasite (2019), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), The Martian (2015), Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021), The Revenant (2015)

Future BMT: 85.5 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 79.4 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.0 Black Christmas (2019), 76.4 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 74.7 The Grudge (2019), 73.7 The Turning (2020), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.7 Snatched (2017), 68.8 Norm of the North (2016), 68.3 Meet the Blacks (2016), 67.0 Max Steel (2016), 66.5 The Disappointments Room (2016), 66.3 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 64.9 Brahms: The Boy II (2020), 64.5 Blair Witch (2016), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.9 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 61.2 Like a Boss (2020), 61.1 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 59.5 Jem and the Holograms (2015)

BMT: Cats (2019), The Emoji Movie (2017), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Slender Man (2018), Fantastic Four (2015), Holmes & Watson (2018), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Rings (2017), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Zoolander 2 (2016), The Gallows (2015), The Boy Next Door (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Poltergeist (2015), Fantasy Island (2020), The Exorcist: Believer (2023), Expend4bles (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Morbius (2022), After We Fell (2021), Moonfall (2022), Blacklight (2022), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Hot Pursuit (2015), The 5th Wave (2016), The Snowman (2017), Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), …

Best Options (2015): 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 68.6 Poltergeist (2015), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 61.1 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 59.5 Jem and the Holograms (2015), 58.0 The Lazarus Effect (2015), 57.8 The Transporter Refueled (2015), 56.0 Sinister 2 (2015), 53.2 Aloha (2015), 49.5 Blackhat (2015), 42.7 Pan (2015), 39.2 Rock the Kasbah (2015), 38.9 Masterminds (2015), 38.1 90 Minutes in Heaven (2015), 35.7 Love the Coopers (2015), 35.6 Victor Frankenstein (2015), 35.4 The Perfect Guy (2015), …

(Goddddddamn, Pan. We’ve seen Hot Tub Time Machine 2 actually … in theaters. Probably the worst decision we made at the time. Real dumb film and I don’t look forward to watching it again.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sam Rockwell is No. 1 billed in Poltergeist and No. 2 billed in Argylle, which also stars Henry Cavill (No. 5 billed) who is in Justice League (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (5 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 18. If we were to watch G-Force we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – Rosemarie DeWitt wanted to do the film, after she experienced the engaged and lively audience reaction at the premiere of The Conjuring (2013), which she attended because it featured her husband Ron Livingston.

(at around 1h 26 mins) The bumper sticker on the Bowen vehicle during the last scene of the film says: Hooper High School. This is a direct reference to Tobe Hooper, who directed the 1982 original version.

In a Q&A, Saxon Sharbino admitted that she had never seen the original Poltergeist (1982) until filming was complete on this production.

The original cut ran for 101 minutes with 7-8 minutes of footage missing from the theatrical cut. This footage was released as a director’s cut on the DVD and Blu-ray release.

Parapsychologist/Anomalist Christopher Chacon, one of the world’s foremost authorities on “poltergeists”, was utilized by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/20th Century Fox studios as their official expert on the phenomenon to internationally publicize and promote the release of the movie.

Men in Black: International Recap

Jamie

You might be wondering why we are doing Men In Black: International. You might even be asking yourself “Did that movie actually come out? Wasn’t that just a spoof poster in 22 Jump Street?” It did come out and it wasn’t a spoof. It also fits right in on the vaguest of metathemes for the BMT theme year that we have embarked on. That is trying to clean up and collect as many franchises as we can. This is mostly horror franchises, but MIB certainly qualifies since we recently watched the borderline BMT of Men In Black II. Also, as unbelievable as this might sound, it actually is probably the best option available for the year 2019. It was a huge movie that was a huge failure. What else should we watch… Gemini Man? I think not.

To recap, the Men in Black are back, Jack! Kind of… but not really. As a girl, Molly had a close encounter with an alium and MIB and ever since has geared her life around getting recruited by MIB. Eventually she identifies the location of HQ and gets in the door. This is enough to earn her place. She is assigned to London, which is headed by High T and where superstar Agent H rules the roost (even though he appears to have lost his groove). While tagging along with H on a routine protection mission for a VIP, M finds herself attacked by amorphous twins that appear to originate from the Hive. Before the VIP is killed, he gives M a MacGuffin and says that no one can be trusted, including H. Back at HQ, H is demoted and other agents go off to find a connection between the twins and the Hive. M convinces H to join her in following a lead regarding the crystal. They travel to Morocco where hijinks ensue and a new friend, Pawny, is gained. Eventually they discover that the MacGuffin is a powerful weapon and Pawny steals it to give to H’s ex-GF, Riza. *Catches breath* They go to Riza’s compound to get the crystal back, but are caught and are only saved because the alium that M saw as a kid now works there (what a nice coincidence). They are then cornered by the twins, but are saved when High T swoops in. *Wipes brow* Everything seems to have been cleaned up, but H and M aren’t so sure. Eventually they begin to suspect High T himself and follow him to the Eiffel Tower. Turns out he was infected by the Hive the whole time. H, M, and Pawny join forces to kill him and save the day. THE END.

Jesus, that was actually far worse to recap than to watch. The movie itself isn’t the worst but it’s also not good. Clearly it was set up as a direct sequel to MIB 3 and was severely hampered by loss of the mainstay stars. Think about it. We have a superstar agent (that would be Will Smith, now spinning his wheels having lost his mojo). High T would be K, having finally ascended to the top of MIB. It would have produced a final ending to K’s storyline as it turns out that Smith has to sadly kill him to save the world. Everything would hit a little different and at the very least Will Smith would salvage some of the fun. I should also note that I had never seen MIB 3 until now and it was fun… the time travel didn’t make a lick of sense and I didn’t love the ending, but there is a lot of fun stuff in the middle and Brolin was great. In fact it would have been a fun twist for them to continue the series with him from the past (if Tommy Lee Jones wasn’t into it). Finally, the main event, After Everything. Hoooooooo doggy. This movie delivered… hard. Harden is learning to live and love again. We get a Portugal setting, some real gymnastics performed in pursuit of shoehorned sex scenes (Hardin dreams of having sex, remembers having sex, pretty much every way he could have sex without actually having sex… cause he’s meant for Tessa), and an amazing pronunciation of the word chocolate. Fortunately for Hardin, Tessa forgives him for writing about their personal life after he… writes about a different girl he had sex with. Airtight logic my man. I LOVE AFTER!

Hot Take Clam Bake! H knew about it the whole time. Come on sheeple. You are in the packers of Big H over here. You think superstar Agent H isn’t keyed in on his mentor being the Hive? He’s too busy partying and the Hive is letting him break all the rulez. So why stop the good times? Seems like the Hive is doing a decent job running MIB anyway. You ever think what the H in Agent H even stands for? That’s right, Agent Hive. He’s also the Hive, he knows High T is the Hive, and the Hive is actually doing just fine thank you very much. Hot Take Temperature: Laser Guns (or whatever they shoot).

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Are we talking pre-pandemic when you’d just make bad reboots when Will Smith turns you down? Let’s go!

I watched this film a little bit ago but like … what happened in it again? For real, this is a perfect example of what they shouldn’t have done with the franchise. Trying to spin it out into a vaguely funny action globetrotting spy franchise? No thanks. Give me the 21 Jump Street version everyday of the week instead.

It isn’t that the world building is any worse, it actually is a bit interesting. I do think there is a disconnect where it begs the question of “Wait … was there always an international organization backing the MIB? The New York Branch wasn’t the be all end all of the situation?” The answer I think must be no. They show that Europe was the center of a mass migration of aliens back during the World’s Fair. But that is dumb.

Is there a worse twist in the history of cinema than the only other famous person in this film being the bad guy? The instant Neeson walks on screen you are like “bad guy, has to be.” And it is.

And is there a worse McGuffin than a weapon that can destroy worlds that you can slip in your pocket and everyone wants? It doesn’t do anything interesting and it doesn’t even have a fun name. Stupid.

And is there a worse way to introduce the hero of the film than to just have her sneak into MIBHQ and be like “lol I found you guys.”?

And is there a wilder and weirder coincidence than the mid-film climactic fight being resolved by this same hero having saved the life of the bad guy’s head bodyguard 20 years prior and thus being owed a blood debt. WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

You see, so many dumb things wrong with the film. But I suppose it could all be explained by this actually having been written as a fourth film for Will Smith and them having to scramble to rewrite it into a requel on the fly. But like … then don’t make it?

A Twin Film (Who?), hooray! They are always so rare. A real deal Product Placement (What?) for Lexus, which might as well be a main character of the film. We got a little globe trotting film, so no real setting. This is almost an excellent MacGuffin (Why?) for the solar weapon that is the main subject of the film, but it needs a name like the Solarplex or something. And a really really Worst Twist (How?) for the inevitable reveal that Liam Neeson was the bad guy all along.

Oooo baby, you best belieb we watched After Everything alongside Men in Black: International. Now which is the better franchise … you know it is After Everything! I’d watch those forever. But sadly, I do think this is the last in the After series. We’ll have to hunt around for our new Wattpad original. In this one the bad boy with a heart of gold has his life in ruins as his one true love won’t talk to him and he’s got a serious case of writer’s block (and alcoholism). In order to get his mind right he needs a sunny holiday in Portugal to make amends with another girl he also had a bet about who he ruined the life of. In the end he writes another book about how he was an even bigger douche than you thought and then jets off to give the worst best man speech in history and get his girl Tessa back. Then she isn’t infertile and they have kids. The End. This movie is obviously an A+ I would watch a thousand of them. I am so sad they are over, and I can’t believe they made five of them and we watched them all for BMT / BMT adjacent. Robert Frost once said …

Read about my sequel idea in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Men in Black: International Quiz

Oh man, get this. I know aliums exist. That much is obvious. So I strolled into Men in Black Inc. and they nueralized me! I think. I don’t remember. I actually don’t remember anything. Do you know what happened in Men in Black: International?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Our hero is working at a call center but really she wants to be working at Men in Black. How does she know about them?

2) She’s now a probationary officer! Hooray. And she finagles her way into what seems like a pretty sweet mission. What is it?

3) Well obviously they are going to be terminated. Neuralized likely … unless … what about a mole hunt!? Everyone loves a mole hunt. Who is the mole?

4) I feel like we might have a serious unnamed MacGuffin here. What does the … thing that Jarvis gave M and why do people seem to want it?

5) What wild fucking coincidence. While out and about meeting with Agent H’s old flame (an arms dealer) who does Agent C meet from her past?

Bonus Question: I was just finishing up Men in Black: International when my new agent Isaac calls me up. What does he want?

Answers

Men in Black: International Preview

Plain Jane is back, Jack! Her new boo, Brad, is away on a big ski vacay with the boys for Xmas break. Holiday blues, anyone? Brain blitz! How about a working vacation for a solo girl on the move? Off she jets to Peru to research her new book: Holly Ween’s Llama Drama. On her way there she has a startling thought: ‘New country, new you.’ With that she dons her Holly Ween disguise and soon she’s the toast of first class. You can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the Plain Jane out the girl, apparently, as the first thing she does getting off the airplane is crash right into Alejandro. No one told her that her llama wrangler was going to be so darn tootin’ hot. There’s no crime against flirting is there? After a hijinks-filled tour of Peru, they arrive at their destination, Alejandro’s llama farm. It’s Xmas and Holly Ween and Alejandro soon find themselves under some mistletoe. Just as they are about to share a chaste smooch, Alejandro pulls back. Did he finally see the Plain Jane inside of her? With a pained look he decides to reveal his three darkest secrets. The first is that he actually hates llamas ever since his mother was killed while researching them in the Peruvian jungle. The second is that this wasn’t a chance job assignment. He made a bet with his guy pals that he could make anyone his girlfriend before Xmas and she was the lucky loser. Before she can storm off in disgust he reveals his third secret. He’s in love with her. Oh dear! Plain Jane’s in trouble this time.

“Wow,” Jamie says. Holly Ween’s love story went international… but his is standing right in front of him. That’s right! We are going international with a little Men in Black: International. The last of the MIB saga (people call it that, right?), this one made the mistake of a) not bringing back Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones and b) being terrible. Adding to the mix is our Bring a Friend, which is also ending a significant cultural touchstone. That’s right! After Everything, the concluding chapter of the After series. There were some claims that this had some theatrical release but not according to any reputable news source. Good enough for us. I love After! Let’s go!

Men in Black: International (2019) – BMeTric: 47.8; Notability: 70

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.8%; Notability: top 0.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.1%; Higher BMeT: Cats, Black Christmas, The Grudge, Secret Obsession, Escape Plan: The Extractors, IO, Trauma Center, The Fanatic, Hellboy, After, The Curse of La Llorona, The Silence, The Poison Rose, Tall Girl, Rim of the World, The Hustle, Primal, Polaroid, Playing with Fire, Serenity, and 2 more; Higher Notability: Dark Phoenix, Maleficent: Mistress of Evil; Lower RT: Polaroid, The Coldest Game, The Poison Rose, The Hustle, The Fanatic, Hellboy, After, Polar, Cats, The Grudge, Trauma Center, Serenity, Jexi, Miss Bala, Dark Phoenix; Notes: Wow … I kind of forgot this film came out so recently. Only five years ago? And I also forgot the second Maleficent film qualified. That’s wild. We saw some weird films that year, Hellboy? After? Serenity? Weird.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Most of what’s enjoyable about this sequel have been cribbed from other movies, like the star pairing from “Thor: Ragnarok,” the villains’ similarity to the Twins in “The Matrix Reloaded” and the many references to the original “Men in Black,” including the score and the basic character arcs of a rookie learning the ropes from a top agent. Without its stars’ chemistry, there’s little life left on this sequel planet besides surface-level jokes, too-cute aliens and a convoluted story.

(Makes sense for a spin-off especially in light of the third ultimately concluding the series in a reasonably satisfying manner. What’s left is to try and spin as far away from the series as one can … but then you have to ground it with the basic plot and soundscape and junk. Only way to do it.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3lJwV7ZIIk/

(Even our own agents … spoiler alert that isn’t the plot of this film. I mean, it is, but not in the way it is indicated with like a thousand agents all pointing guns at them. This trailer is soulless trash (in my opinion), hate the music.)

Directors – F. Gary Gray – ( Known For: The Italian Job; The Fate of the Furious; Straight Outta Compton; The Negotiator; Friday; Lift; Set It Off; Future BMT: Law Abiding Citizen; A Man Apart; BMT: Men in Black: International; Be Cool; Notes: He directed “Waterfalls” by TLC. So … like one of the best directors ever I suppose.)

Writers – Matt Holloway and Art Marcum – ( Known For: Iron Man; Future BMT: Uncharted; BMT: Transformers: The Last Knight; Men in Black: International; Punisher: War Zone; Notes: Oh snap, they are credited with Kraven the Hunter later this year. That could be exciting.)

Lowell Cunningham – ( Known For: Men in Black; Men in Black 3; BMT: Men in Black II; Men in Black: International; Notes: He’s the comic writer. I’m surprised the other writers of Men in Black didn’t get a credit.)

Actors – Chris Hemsworth – ( Known For: The Avengers; Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Thor; Thor: Ragnarok; Doctor Strange; Thor: The Dark World; Star Trek; Rush; The Cabin in the Woods; Thor: Love and Thunder; Snow White and the Huntsman; Extraction; Ghostbusters; Bad Times at the El Royale; In the Heart of the Sea; Extraction II; 12 Strong; A Perfect Getaway; Future BMT: Vacation; The Huntsman: Winter’s War; Blackhat; BMT: Men in Black: International; Red Dawn; Notes: Oh shoot, he’s Optimus Prime in the new animated Transformers film. That’s going to be dumb.)

Tessa Thompson – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Thor: Ragnarok; Thor: Love and Thunder; Annihilation; Creed; Creed II; The Marvels; Selma; Creed III; Sorry to Bother You; Between Two Ferns: The Movie; Dear White People; Lady and the Tramp; War on Everyone; Passing; Make It Happen; Sylvie’s Love; Little Woods; The Human Contract; Furlough; Future BMT: When a Stranger Calls; For Colored Girls; BMT: Men in Black: International; Notes: Wait they are making a Creed IV? This series is nuts. Nominated for an Emmy as a producer of the TV Movie Sylvie’s Love.)

Kumail Nanjiani – ( Known For: Eternals; Central Intelligence; The Big Sick; The Five-Year Engagement; The Kings of Summer; Stuber; The Lego Ninjago Movie; The Lovebirds; Hello, My Name Is Doris; Migration; The Late Bloomer; Hell Baby; Bad Milo; Hell and Back; Money Shot: The Pornhub Story; Duck Butter; Addicted to Fresno; Brother Nature; A Happening of Monumental Proportions; Flock of Dudes; Future BMT: Life as We Know It; Sex Tape; Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates; Hot Tub Time Machine 2; BMT: Men in Black: International; Dolittle; Fist Fight; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for writing The Big Sick. He’s in four movies this year, and seems like he comes in and punches them up because he’s quite funny it turns out.)

Budget/Gross – $110,000,000 / Domestic: $80,001,807 (Worldwide: $253,890,701)

(That actually isn’t bad. I wonder if they’ll make another attempt eventually. The brand is probably due to a restart. I wonder in the wake of The Slap whether Will Smith could be convinced to reprise in a passing the torch sequel.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 23% (74/320): Amiable yet forgettable, MiB International grinds its stars’ substantial chemistry through the gears of a franchise running low on reasons to continue.

(No! I don’t accept it. MIB3 shows just how easy it is to make random alien jokes work. The film is still fun and funny and feels like something that isn’t really made. That is a surprisingly low rating overall.)

Reviewer Highlight: Nearly everything here reminds you of something else, often better, cleverer, funnier. – Manohla Dargis, New York Times

Poster – Men in Black: After Everything

(This smacks of them not really knowing what people want. You want the pug? You want the bug aliens? Spoiler Alert: those two things are barely in the film. Also this poster kind of hurts my eyes. The mixture of large white spaces and humans in general doesn’t work on posters. At least it looks like someone put some care into it though. C.)

Tagline(s) – The world’s not going to save itself (D+)

(This tagline is also not going to save itself. Is this supposed to be funny? Or is it merely meant to exist? I can’t tell.)

Keyword(s) – 2015-2023

Top 10: Avengers: Endgame (2019), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Deadpool (2016), Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015), Parasite (2019), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), The Martian (2015), The Revenant (2015), Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Future BMT: 85.3 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 79.4 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 78.9 Black Christmas (2019), 76.3 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 74.7 The Grudge (2019), 73.7 The Turning (2020), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.7 Snatched (2017), 68.7 Norm of the North (2016), 68.6 Poltergeist (2015), 68.3 Meet the Blacks (2016), 67.0 Max Steel (2016), 66.4 The Disappointments Room (2016), 66.3 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 64.8 Brahms: The Boy II (2020), 64.5 Blair Witch (2016), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.8 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 61.2 Like a Boss (2020), 61.0 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015)

BMT: Cats (2019), The Emoji Movie (2017), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Slender Man (2018), Fantastic Four (2015), Holmes & Watson (2018), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Rings (2017), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Zoolander 2 (2016), The Gallows (2015), The Boy Next Door (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Fantasy Island (2020), The Exorcist: Believer (2023), Expend4bles (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), After We Fell (2021), Moonfall (2022), Blacklight (2022), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Morbius (2022), Hot Pursuit (2015), The 5th Wave (2016), The Snowman (2017), Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), …

Best Options (franchise): 79.4 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 78.9 Black Christmas (2019), 76.3 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 74.7 The Grudge (2019), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 66.3 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 64.5 Blair Witch (2016), 62.8 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 61.0 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 59.8 Spiral (2021), 57.8 The Transporter Refueled (2015), 52.3 Boo 2! A Madea Halloween (2017), 50.7 Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016), 48.4 Insidious: The Red Door (2023), 47.8 Men in Black: International (2019), 45.4 God’s Not Dead: A Light in Darkness (2018), 44.1 Allegiant (2016), 43.6 A Madea Family Funeral (2019), 43.4 Jigsaw (2017), 43.2 Underworld: Blood Wars (2016), 42.9 Ice Age: Collision Course (2016), 42.8 Insidious: The Last Key (2018), 42.2 Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023), 39.4 Pitch Perfect 3 (2017), 30.4 Vacation (2015), 27.8 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 27.6 Inferno (2016), 19.4 Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018), 17.1 Venom (2018), 16.1 Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You! (2017)

(Kind of mid table, but it felt like an opportunity to finish off a franchise we just recently visited with the second film. I wonder when we are going to deal with God’s Not Dead.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Chris Hemsworth is No. 1 billed in Men in Black: International and No. 1 billed in Red Dawn, which also stars Josh Hutcherson (No. 3 billed) who is in Five Nights at Freddy’s (No. 1 billed) which also stars Matthew Lillard (No. 4 billed) who is in Wicker Park (No. 3 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) + (4 + 3) + (1 + 3) = 17. If we were to watch The Huntsman: Winter’s War we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Frank the Pug (voiced by Tim Blaney) and the Worm Guys (voiced by Thom Fountain) are the only characters from Men in Black (1997) and Men in Black II (2002) to also physically appear in this one. Although they have a prominent place on the movie’s poster, these characters have less than a minute of screentime.

The MiB Agents have been wearing the same standard issue Hamilton Ventura watch since the beginning. The iconic Ventura watch was first released in 1957.

There is a secret apartment at the top of the Eiffel Tower where Gustave Eiffel entertained famous guests like Thomas Edison.

Tessa Thompson loves the character of Pawny and knew that Kumail Nanjiani would be perfect for the role. Although his character is all CGI, Nanjiani flew out to London so he could read with Thompson and Chris Hemsworth in person, making the character interactions feel more dynamic.

Sir Paul Smith, who helped design the suits for the MiB Agents in this movie, appears as the typewriter repairman at the secret entrance to London’s MiB Headquarters.

Madame Web Preview

“That was beautiful,” Jamie says, tears in his eyes. “Yeah, I know,” Samantha replies, “but I think we should escape the Fashion Police before going into more detail about how great it is.” When they turn to run, though, they find themselves in a jail cell with the rest of the gang. “What thuuuu,” Jamie says dumbly. “Yeah, well this is what happens when you read a full book to each other when we should be running from the Fashion Police,” Patrick says, his voice dripping with disdain. “So what do we do now? You don’t think *gasp* we could be put to death for our Fashion Crimes?” Jamie says, his knees quaking. “Nah, I got a lawyer,” Kyle mumbles through a mouthful of apple fritter the jailer snuck him because everyone loves Kyle. “Rachel,” he finishes. Jamie and Patrick gawk at him. “The pretzel girl… er… I mean, you’re wife/pretzel girl!” Jamie exclaims. Kyle nods, taking a filet mignon from the jailer. “That’s right,” he says proudly, “turns out the pretzels, while delicious, were funding her law degree.” “Great!” Samantha says, “then we’ll be out in no time.” Kyle coughs through a mouthful of creme brulee. “Well, uh, maybe not no time,” he says, “more like once she’s done with the other cases on her docket.” Jamie and Patrick cannot believe how boring this all is. “This is so boring,” Jamie says exasperated, “if this were a book and someone had to read it they wouldn’t even believe just how boring it is and would wonder why they were even reading it.” Now it’s time for Samantha to cough. “We could always read something that everyone agrees isn’t boring,” she says, tapping her next Holly Ween book, Holly Ween’s Llama Drama. That’s right! It’s not llama drama for us, but rather another LIVE! BMT. You know we couldn’t pass up some Madame Web action. It’s Madame Web! Let’s go!

Madame Web (2024) – BMeTric: 77.8; Notability: 33

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.0%; Notability: top 0.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.7%; Higher Notability: Argylle, Lift; Lower RT: Air Force One Down, The Painter, Wanted Man; Notes: Hellllllll yeah. That BMeTric ain’t never going down. This is probably one of the only 75+ in years. One second. Only the fourth since 2020. Space Jam 2 is the one very notable one.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – “Madame Web” is not the unmitigated disaster that its clunky trailer or its calendar spot in February would suggest. It’s the big, noisy action sequences that bog “Madame Web” down. Yes, they’re crucial to the genre, but they’re also the least interesting part. And you don’t need to be clairvoyant to know that more movies in this series are in store.

(Uuuuuuuh, I think that might be wrong. This franchise seems directly on the DCEU path of getting thrown right into the dumpster. Like … why make Madame Web 2 again? Why have like a Kraven the Hunter and Morbius team up again? It doesn’t make sense.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_76M4c4LTo/

(“He was with my mother in the Amazon when she was researching spiders right before she died,” is officially an iconic film quote. Not really for the reason you would imagine, but it was joked about not once but twice at the 2024 Oscars.)

Directors – S.J. Clarkson – ( BMT: Madame Web; Notes: Directed a ton of television, but this was her shot at a bit film. She has nothing on the docket so … I don’t know that it was a very successful debut.)

Writers – Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless– ( Known For: Power Rangers; Future BMT: Dracula Untold; BMT: Morbius; Gods of Egypt; The Last Witch Hunter; Madame Web; Notes: Also wrote Morbius, so they are clearly in a major position for the bizarro Sony Spiderman universe they are building.)

Claire Parker – ( Notes: A producer of a bunch of British shows. I assume she got into writing this since she shares a background with Clarkson to some degree.)

S.J. Clarkson – ( BMT: Madame Web; Notes: The only thing she’s written is a British series called Mistresses. And she got credit for the American story based on that.)

Kerem Sanga – ( Known For: First Girl I Loved; The Violent Heart; The Young Kieslowski; BMT: Madame Web; Notes: This writing room is wild. Like … I don’t know any of these films and then suddenly Madame Web out of nowhere.)

Actors – Dakota Johnson – ( Known For: The Social Network; 21 Jump Street; Black Mass; Bad Times at the El Royale; The Five-Year Engagement; The Peanut Butter Falcon; How to Be Single; Suspiria; The Lost Daughter; Persuasion; A Bigger Splash; Cha Cha Real Smooth; Wounds; Our Friend; The High Note; Date and Switch; Goats; Cymbeline; For Ellen; Chloe and Theo; Future BMT: Crazy in Alabama; BMT: Fifty Shades of Grey; Need for Speed; Fifty Shades Darker; Beastly; Fifty Shades Freed; Madame Web; Notes: People deny it, but it is true, there is an effortless charisma to Dakota Johnson that I can’t explain. It is wild that she was in the Fifty Shades films. It is also crazy that we’ve almost seen all of her BMT films.)

Sydney Sweeney – ( Known For: Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood; Under the Silver Lake; The Ward; Anyone But You; The Voyeurs; Night Teeth; Reality; Big Time Adolescence; Nocturne; Spiders; ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction; Dead Ant; Clementine; Angels in Stardust; The Martial Arts Kid; Americana; BMT: Madame Web; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for Euphoria and The White Lotus. Amazing that two of the biggest stars currently are both from that show.)

Isabela Merced – ( Known For: Sicario: Day of the Soldado; Instant Family; Sweet Girl; Dora and the Lost City of Gold; Let It Snow; Migration; Father of the Bride; Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life; Rosaline; Spirit Untamed; The House That Jack Built; Future BMT: The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature; BMT: Transformers: The Last Knight; Madame Web; Notes: Was a Nickelodeon star and was Dora in the live action film. Do we ever do The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature? Who knows.)

Budget/Gross – $80 million / Domestic: $27,783,405 (Worldwide: $53,576,774)

(Of course this is a disaster. There was no other way it could go. I honestly can’t believe they actually produced this film and released it to theaters.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 13% (27/208): Madame Web’s earnest approach to the title character’s origin story has a certain appeal, but its predictable plot and uneven execution make for a forgettable superhero adventure.

(What is this consensus. Give the people what they want! This film is a disaster area and seems almost like a parody orchestrated by the same person who put those limes in Dakota Johnson’s house. That’s my consensus.)

Reviewer Highlight: “Madame Web” is a dud, but it’s one that Johnson transcends long before the final credits roll. – Manohla Dargis, New York Times

Poster – Madame Sklog

(Yes. Yes. Yes. That is a mess in the most delightful way. Nice font though. C-.)

Tagline(s) – Her web connects them all (C-)

(Sure, why not? A perfect amount of laziness in that tagline. It’s like Dakota Johnson wrote it herself.)

Keyword(s) – year 2024

Top 10: The Beekeeper (2024), Teri Baaton Mein Aisa Uljha Jiya (2024), Color of Victory (2024), Fighter (2024), Lift (2024), Argylle (2024), Merry Christmas (2024), Guntur Kaaram (2024), Hanu Man (2024), Madame Web (2024)

Future BMT: 57.3 Night Swim (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Argylle (2024)

Best Options: 75.4 Madame Web (2024), 57.3 Night Swim (2024)

(Helllllllll yeah, we couldn’t miss a 75+, it was impossible. We had to pull the trigger on a second Live early in the year. Quite rare. But also, we have been doing a good job hitting big films during the year. I think these have both been good choices.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Dakota Johnson is No. 1 billed in Madame Web and No. 6 billed in Beastly, which also stars Alex Pettyfer (No. 1 billed) who is in Endless Love (No. 1 billed) which also stars Bruce Greenwood (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 6 billed) => (1 + 6) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 6) = 18. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – According to Dakota Johnson in an interview with The Wrap, the screenplay underwent extensive rewrites, saying, “There were drastic changes, and I can’t even tell you what they were”. The original screenplay, which was described as darker and “very ‘Terminator’ inspired,” would have seen Madame Web and the Spider-Women trying to protect a pregnant Mary Parker from Ezekiel Sims, who wants to kill her to prevent the birth of Peter Parker.

Dakota Johnson said, “I’ve never really done a movie where you are on a blue screen, and there’s fake explosions going off, and someone’s going, ‘Explosion!’ and you act like there’s an explosion. That, to me, was absolutely psychotic. I was like, ‘I don’t know if this is going to be good at all! I hope that I did an OK job!’ But I trusted [director S.J. Clarkson]. She works so hard, and she has not taken her eyes off this movie since we started.”

Dakota Johnson left her agency WME in favor of CAA less than a week after the first trailer for this movie dropped. According to Variety, this “raised industry eyebrows,” and generated unfounded rumors that Johnson didn’t like the movie. However, The Hollywood Reporter found that “since CAA was also willing to represent her production company, TeaTime Pictures, along with her indie film, ‘Daddio'” which will be released by Sony Pictures Classics, it is likely the seemingly suspicious timing for the move was nothing more than film-business shuffling.

Dakota Johnson did much of the stunt driving in the film herself, including that of the taxi and the ambulance. She expressed she wanted to perform the stunt where the vehicle drives into a diner but the stunt team wouldn’t let her.

Halloween Kills Preview

Jane is just a plain ol’ girl living a plain ol’ life. Other than the fact that she’s the big time author of the tween rom com hit Holly Ween the Scream Queen. Oh, Holly is everything that she isn’t. Cool, calm, and beautiful. Sigh. One day she returns home to find her latest manuscript stolen and a note demanding that she hand over Holly in exchange for the book. But Holly isn’t real… is she? Only one way to find out. Returning home to the high school where she spent four mortifying years as Plain Jane Never-Been-Kissed she dons a Holly Ween disguise and reenters school as a 25-year-old senior who just got out of a 7 year coma. And wait… is she suddenly hot and cool? Must be just the disguise because she’ll never be anything but Plain Jane Never-Been-Kissed at heart… or will she? Cause in walks captain of the football team Brad who also just got out of a 7 year coma so is also 25-years-old. Just when he is about to ask her to the Homecoming Dance the book thieves take over the school demanding that Jane hand over Holly. Uh oh! She can’t have Brad finding out she’s actually Plain Jane! She’s got to think quickly! In a snap she gets the Homecoming committee to change the dance to a Halloween Costume Bash and dons a Plain Jane disguise. During the dance she is able to smooch Brad, convince the thieves that Holly is on her way, and set up a trap with the help of all her friends. Turns out that Holly was inside Jane the whole time and her new book Holly Ween Slays is a huge hit.

“Wow,” Jamie says, thinking that Holly Ween doesn’t just slay… Samantha does too. That’s right! We are watching the second (and only qualifying) entry in the new Halloween trilogy. Don’t be tricked by the title, though, as it seems from the reviews that this Halloween didn’t quite kill. Let’s go!

Halloween Kills (2021) – BMeTric: 50.6; Notability: 42

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.4%; Notability: top 3.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.6%; Higher BMeT: Space Jam: A New Legacy, Home Sweet Home Alone, Cosmic Sin, Thunder Force, He’s All That, Deadly Illusions, Music, The Misfits, After We Fell, The Kissing Booth 3, Awake, Mother/Android, Apex, Spiral, Midnight in the Switchgrass, The Unholy, Tom & Jerry, Things Heard & Seen, Outside the Wire, Snake Eyes, and 1 more; Higher Notability: Space Jam: A New Legacy, Tom & Jerry, Chaos Walking, Music, Infinite, The Addams Family 2, Home Sweet Home Alone, Dear Evan Hansen; Lower RT: Cosmic Sin, Music, Midnight in the Switchgrass, After We Fell, Breaking News in Yuba County, Apex, Home Sweet Home Alone, Infinite, The Misfits, Intrusion, The Virtuoso, The Starling, Every Breath You Take, Deadly Illusions, Chaos Walking, Thunder Force, Awake, Sweet Girl, The Kissing Booth 3, Hypnotic, and 24 more; Notes: Wow, we really haven’t seen that many 2021 films, but I suppose that is because a lot of them are on streaming now. Remember Music … that’s a wild film.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – My feeling about David Gordon Green’s reboot of “Halloween” in 2018 was that the talented director fundamentally misunderstood what worked about the John Carpenter original, draining the project of actual tension, despite a few solid set pieces. Having seen his follow-up, “Halloween Kills,” I think I was right. This film muddies its entire concept with a bizarre, unrefined commentary on mob mentality that is quite simply some of the worst material in either Green’s career and the history of this rocky franchise (which is saying something if you’ve seen, say, “Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers”). It’s a shame too because, once again, there are set pieces that work—and the ones here are particularly brutal—but campy dialogue that calls attention to itself, too much fan service in the references department, sidelining Laurie Strode herself for most of the project, and truly inconsistent characters lead to a final result that definitely doesn’t kill. It barely even wounds.

(Wow … I actually agree. The first has a few interesting bits, but at the same time it mostly is a bunch of bits from the prior films strung together. The second is bad and has the single most embarrassing moment in the history of the franchise. Which, indeed, is saying something.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL6R3HmQfPc/

(Immediately off to a bad start with the firefighter scene. I feel like if anything the first deftly replicated the less violent and more tense version that Rob Zombie abandoned. But not this one. Not at all.)

Directors – David Gordon Green – ( Known For: Pineapple Express; Halloween; Halloween Ends; Joe; Stronger; Prince Avalanche; Snow Angels; All the Real Girls; Undertow; George Washington; Manglehorn; Future BMT: Your Highness; The Sitter; Our Brand Is Crisis; BMT: Halloween Kills; The Exorcist: Believer; Notes: Now that he’s out for Exorcist: Deceiver I do wonder what he’ll be up to. Seems like maybe it is time for another smaller film … but something tells me he’s going to be roped into another big production where people mess with his film and it ends up sucking.)

Writers – John Carpenter – ( Known For: Halloween; Halloween; Escape from New York; They Live; The Fog; Assault on Precinct 13; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Escape from L.A.; Halloween Ends; Assault on Precinct 13; Prince of Darkness; Dark Star; Eyes of Laura Mars; Black Moon Rising; BMT: Halloween; Halloween II; Halloween Kills; Ghosts of Mars; Halloween: Resurrection; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; The Fog; Notes: Ha, we’ve seen all his BMT films. Surprisingly few, given how many bad Halloween films there are.)

Debra Hill – ( Known For: Halloween; Halloween; The Fog; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Escape from L.A.; Halloween Ends; BMT: Halloween; Halloween II; Halloween Kills; Halloween: Resurrection; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; The Fog; Notes: Worked with Carpenter for years, so naturally we also got her completely done for BMT as well.)

Scott Teems – ( Known For: The Quarry; That Evening Sun; Future BMT: Insidious: The Red Door; BMT: Halloween Kills; The Exorcist: Believer; Firestarter; Notes: Seems like just one of those guys brought in to write modern horror films.)

Danny McBride – ( Known For: Halloween; Halloween Ends; The Foot Fist Way; The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter; Future BMT: Your Highness; BMT: Halloween Kills; The Exorcist: Believer; Notes: Y’all know Danny McBride. Friends with Green, and they have written a bunch of modern horror now as well … to mixed effect.)

David Gordon Green – ( Known For: Halloween; Halloween Ends; Prince Avalanche; Snow Angels; All the Real Girls; Undertow; George Washington; Goat; BMT: Halloween Kills; The Exorcist: Believer; Notes: Yeah, at some point it seems like the horror films he writes and directs just lack soul.)

Actors – Jamie Lee Curtis – ( Known For: Knives Out; Everything Everywhere All at Once; Halloween; True Lies; Halloween; Trading Places; Escape from New York; A Fish Called Wanda; Freaky Friday; My Girl; The Fog; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Halloween Ends; Veronica Mars; Forever Young; The Tailor of Panama; Beverly Hills Chihuahua; Fierce Creatures; Prom Night; Blue Steel; Future BMT: You Again; My Girl 2; Drowning Mona; House Arrest; BMT: Halloween II; Halloween Kills; Halloween III: Season of the Witch; Christmas with the Kranks; Halloween: Resurrection; Haunted Mansion; Virus; Perfect; Notes: That’s Oscar winner Jamie Lee Curtis to you. The daughter of Tony Curtis, she is in many ways the original Scream Queen.)

Judy Greer – ( Known For: Ant-Man; Jurassic World; Dawn of the Planet of the Apes; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; War for the Planet of the Apes; The Village; The Descendants; Love & Other Drugs; What Women Want; 13 Going on 30; Adaptation.; Tomorrowland; Three Kings; 27 Dresses; Halloween; Carrie; Halloween Ends; Jeff, Who Lives at Home; Where’d You Go, Bernadette; Future BMT: Entourage; Elizabethtown; Cursed; Love Happens; Men, Women & Children; Jawbreaker; American Dreamz; Playing with Fire; Kissing a Fool; BMT: Halloween Kills; The Wedding Planner; The 15:17 to Paris; Playing for Keeps; Marmaduke; Notes: I’ll always know her as Kitty from Arrested Development. Oh boy do I not want to watch the Entourage movie ever.)

Andi Matichak – ( Known For: Halloween; Halloween Ends; Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List; Son; Assimilate; Miles; Foxhole; BMT: Halloween Kills; Notes: Yeah, doesn’t seem to have many other credits. Like she’s been in movies, but not much television and has nothing on the docket. Quite surprising. I thought she was fine in the whole trilogy.)

Budget/Gross – $20,000,000 / Domestic: $92,002,155 (Worldwide: $134,292,082)

(That is obviously quite good. I can’t imagine they are hugely disappointed with the trilogy as a whole, so it makes sense that they gave Green The Exorcist … seems like that was a mistake though.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 39% (108/278): Halloween Kills should satisfy fans in search of brute slasher thrills, but in terms of advancing the franchise, it’s a bit less than the sum of its bloody parts.

(Soooooooo close, but it did make it. And well deserved. I can’t imagine this really satisfies any slasher fans, so I don’t get that point.)

Reviewer Highlight: An indolent, narratively impoverished mess that substitutes corpses for characters and slogans for dialogue. – Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times

Poster – Holly Ween Slays

(I do like how tactile it is. But a bit boring otherwise. Still… it’s doing its job. You have to give it credit from that aspect. B-)

Tagline(s) – Three generations Strode strong (Ha!)

(Wait… that’s not real, right? That’s not on the poster so normally I would delete it but this is so funny that I’ll just leave it here.)

Keyword(s) – 2015-2023

Top 10: Joker (2019), Avengers: Endgame (2019), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Deadpool (2016), Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015), Parasite (2019), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), The Martian (2015), The Revenant (2015)

Future BMT: 85.1 Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 79.3 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 78.9 Black Christmas (2019), 76.1 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 74.6 The Grudge (2020), 73.6 The Turning (2020), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.7 Snatched (2017), 68.7 Norm of the North (2016), 68.6 Poltergeist (2015), 68.3 Meet the Blacks (2016), 67.0 Max Steel (2016), 66.4 The Disappointments Room (2016), 66.3 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 64.7 Brahms: The Boy II (2020), 64.5 Blair Witch (2016), 63.4 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.8 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 61.2 Like a Boss (2020), 61.0 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015)

BMT: The Emoji Movie (2017), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Slender Man (2018), Fantastic Four (2015), Holmes & Watson (2018), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Rings (2017), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Zoolander 2 (2016), The Gallows (2015), The Boy Next Door (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Fantasy Island (2020), The Exorcist: Believer (2023), Firestarter (2022), Expend4bles (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Moonfall (2022), After We Fell (2021), Blacklight (2022), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Morbius (2022), Hot Pursuit (2015), The 5th Wave (2016), Hellboy (2019), The Snowman (2017), Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), …

Best Options (franchise): 79.3 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 78.9 Black Christmas (2019), 76.1 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 74.6 The Grudge (2020), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 64.5 Blair Witch (2016), 59.8 Spiral (2021), 52.3 Boo 2! A Madea Halloween (2017), 50.7 Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016), 50.6 Halloween Kills (2021), 48.2 Insidious: The Red Door (2023), 43.4 Jigsaw (2017), 42.8 Insidious: The Last Key (2018)

(I refused to watch Jeepers Creepers III ever. Which leaves not many actual franchise horror films which worked. Was exciting to catch up on Halloween though.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jamie Lee Curtis is No. 1 billed in Halloween Kills and No. 2 billed in Christmas with the Kranks, which also stars Tim Allen (No. 1 billed) who is in Jungle 2 Jungle (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 9 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (9 + 1) = 15. If we were to watch Love Happens, and The Black Dahlia we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Jamie Lee Curtis, Charles Cyphers, Kyle Richards, Nancy Stephens, and Nick Castle were all in the original Halloween (1978) and all returned for this sequel. The characters of Tommy Doyle and Lonnie Elam from the original also returned, but were recast with Anthony Michael Hall and Robert Longstreet, because Brian Andrews has retired from acting since 2015, and Brent Le Page never acted again after the original Halloween.

David Gordon Green recalled that when they attempted to find a yearbook photo of one of Michael Myers’ victims from the 1978 film, he came across a yearbook photo of Bob Odenkirk that he thought resembled original actor John Michael Graham. The rights issues were resolved so that Green could use Odenkirk’s photo instead of the actual actor. Odenkirk is therefore credited as ‘Bob,’ despite not physically appearing in it.

In the flashback scene to 1978, Michael attacks deputy McCabe (Jim Cummings) with a rope. In the original Halloween (1978), Sheriff Leigh Brackett (Charles Cyphers) responded to an alarm in a hardware store, and reported that a rope, some Halloween masks and a set of knives were stolen.

Twelve pumpkins are featured in the opening title sequence with the last one indicating Halloween Kills as the twelfth Halloween film.

Early in the movie, the wagon stolen by Michael Myers from Dr. Loomis and Nurse Marion Chambers at the Smith Grove Sanitarium in Halloween (1978) can be seen parked behind Young Hawkins and Pete McCabe during one of the flashback sequences to 1978.