Category: Quiz

Memory Recap

Jamie

Memory, all alone in the moonlight. I can smile at the old days. Liam Neeson was beautiful then. One of the greatest experiences of my BMT life was watching Cats in theaters. Watching Memory starring Liam Neeson? Not as much. Last time we caught up with our boy LNeez (as the kids call him) I introduced the Murphy’s Law scale of Liam Neeson films. I know everyone is on pins and needles about where Memory will fall on the Not Murphy’s Law to Murphy’s Law range, but you’ll just have to wait until I give my review of the film. Instead I’d like you to just take a moment and appreciate the fact that in a year where studios literally had no movies, they still managed to look in their film vault and dust off a couple LNeez classic for BMT consumption. Thank you, Mr. Neeson. You did BMT (and thus the world) a service.

To recap, I’m having trouble remembering this film… JK, that was a little memory joke. It’s really LNeez that’s having trouble remembering and that’s no good for the assassin business. Despite this he is still the best in the biz and is tasked with killing a man and a young girl to cover up evidence from a child prostitution ring. The man? No prob… the young girl? LNeez isn’t having that and lets the people he works for know that it ain’t happening, Meanwhile, Guy Pierce and his team of detectives are tracking down the same prostitution ring. They are shocked to find the young girl murdered one morning and start on the trail of LNeez, who they believe is the culprit. The Neez is enraged and begins on a path of destruction. No one is safe, even when he has progressed into advanced dementia before our eyes. He’s hiding out in the abandoned bakery in El Paso where he grew up and tries to keep everything straight just long enough to murder everyone. Go Neeson! The detectives put everything together: it’s a vast child prostitute conspiracy involving the son of one of the most powerful people in El Paso. They rush to a party to save the son, but are too late. They are able to shoot LNeez, but he gets away and turns his attention to the woman at the top of the conspiracy. He is steps away from killing her when his memory betrays him and he is captured. The detectives get evidence about the ring, but it’s not enough. They go to the hospital to talk to Neeson and he tells them he also has a recording… but he forgot where it is. Doh! Just before he is killed in a last ditch effort to silence him, Neeson remembers where it is and tells Guy Pierce. He takes it to the DA who is like “sure we have all the evidence but like… money? Right? Conspiracy and money and sorry?” Guy Pierce is upset but soon finds out that the other detectives in the squad set up the main baddie to be killed, so… happy ending? As long as you like vigilante justice. THE END.

On a scale of Not Murphy’s Law to Murphy’s Law I give this a… drumroll… Not Murphy’s Law! It was closer than Blacklight, though, as this is overall a better made film and has a number of ludicrous plot points. I also think it benefits immensely by having a strong B Plot with Guy Pierce (which is arguably the A Plot). It feels a little like they had two scripts and mushed them together as they run parallel for most of the movie, but it also could just be that they recognized that Neeson needs a team effort nowadays. Really the biggest thing that hamstrings it on the Murphy’s Law scale is that the plot is unpleasant. Child prostitution ring and Murphy’s Law don’t go together. Needs to be lighter than that. I think this was better than Blacklight, but it gets worse and worse as the film goes on. The ending is really terrible. As for Pinocchio, I don’t know what all the hubbub is about. The film looks fine and is basically the same as the original. People seemed to get hung up on the purpose… the purpose was so Zemeckis could play with all his toys. Mission accomplished. It’s not a film for me, but I could imagine some children enjoying the hell out of it. Bright and colorful and musical. Spoiler Alert: kids aren’t the most discerning film critics. Anyway, the funniest part of it is they do a very predictable twist-em-up at the end where they reveal that Pinocchio maybe turned into a real boy, but maybe it’s more a metaphor because he has puppet powers that real boys don’t have… so he’s special in his own way. Very dumb, but very modern update and it’s also where I feel like Zemeckis was like “I’m putting my stamp on this.” Overall, meh, why not?

Hot Take Clam Bake! More movies should be made and set in El Paso. It is the 22nd largest city in the US by population! That’s bigger than D.C., Boston, Las Vegas… shall I go on? Those cities are getting films left and right. I can’t even count how many BMT films have been set in those locations (#23-25 in the US by population, for the record). This isn’t even mentioning Houston and San Antonio… those cities are #4 and #7 on the list. What does San Antonio get? Knight Rider 2000. The disrespect! The coastal bias! Memory is just the tip of a rotten iceberg. This hot take is brought to you by the El Paso Committee for Film Production in El Paso (EPCFPEP). Hot take temperature: Aji Chombo.

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Memory? I wished I didn’t have any from watching this movie! Heyyyyyyyoooooo, let’s go!

  • Full disclosure: there might have been something wrong with the settings of the television I watched this film on because it looked impossibly bad. Like, one of the worst looking movies I’ve ever seen. And yet a lot of the reviews talked up the director as still having it despite the movie’s obvious flaws.
  • I mean, I hope there was something wrong with the television because my god, this film looked horrible.
  • At least they didn’t make Liam Neeson run in this one.
  • But, he did try and act very specifically like a person with Alzheimers, which involved stuttering a lot, and just didn’t work for me.
  • But in the movie’s defense at least they made the very minor effort of having Liam Neeson act at all. Blacklight couldn’t say that.
  • Unfortunately they also made the decision to have Guy Pearce act. With an accent. And a goofy wig. I don’t care if it is his real hair, he looks ridiculous!
  • The biggest issue with films like these for me is when the subject matter is unpleasant. The systematic abuse of underage undocumented immigrants in El Paso? Yeah, I’ll pass thanks.
  • And my god. The ending. THE ENDING. Spoiler, but the ending of the film involves one of the side characters going and murdering the villain of the film and then throwing his knife away as if he has never thrown anything in his life, and then driving to Mexico.
  • I can’t overstate just how bad this throw was. It is like this person has never once picked up a baseball or football or anything. He never tossed some car keys to anyone. He never shot a basketball. Nothing.
  • I would pay a million dollars if someone released a cut of the film where the only change was that in that scene he tosses the knife away two handed underhand style. I’d call it the Rick Berry Cut. A million dollars.
  • Anyways, the reviews of Memory versus Blacklight makes it clear that people thought Memory was trying to do stuff, while Blacklight was just a nothing film. I’m fine with being on the island saying that I was astonished watching Memory, but merely bored watching Blacklight. Memory was doing stuff but like … was any of that stuff good? Ask yourself that.
  • My god, is this a Setting as a Character (Where?) for El Paso, Texas. There has never been a more El Paso movie in the history of movies. An actual MacGuffin (Why?) with the mysterious thumb drives which contain all of the evidence … I guess. And Worst Twist (How?) for the big reveal that Hugo can’t throw a knife like a normal human. I’m calling it Bad, the whole film’s premise is unpleasant and the film definitely not rewatchable.
  • For a friend we hunted around for the biggest baddest streaming film available in the year 2022, and obviously we settled on the Disney+ disaster of Pinocchio (2022). So, here’s the thing … It’s Pinocchio. There’s a reason people are always like “gimme that Pinocchio! I need more Pinocchio!” and why Del Toro is like “I need to break me off a piece of that ‘nocch’,” you know? The story is fun, the movie is pretty breezy, it looks good. There is a lot to complain about. It’s raison d’etre if you will. Perhaps the sometimes oddly distracting voice actors. The almost always extremely distracting Tom Hanks of it all. Is it the number one Disney film I’ll be showing my child being like “LOVE MOVIES LIKE ME SO THEN YOU CAN HATE THEM LIKE ME!!!!” Nope, there are literally 30 other Disney films this theoretical child will see first. But it was aight. C. Can’t really recommend it as a BMT, but also it isn’t really good and also pointless so…

Read about the sequel Memory 2: Ghost Protocol in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Memory Quiz

Oh man, so get this, I’m an assassin … I think. You know, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been f-f-f-f-f-forgetting things recently. I now … well, do you remember what happened in Memory?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) I just can’t remember … where did Neeson go to complete his first kill, and what event made him realize that, indeed, his mind was slipping?

2) Soon after, while on a job, who does Neeson visit in the hospital?

3) Also, what U.S. city does this entire movie implausibly take place in?

4) Neeson be all up in here killing everyone. What event causes him to snap and start his murdering spree?

5) Ultimately where does Neeson hide the cache of evidence that will take does all the big bads involved in the child prostitution ring?

Bonus Question: Guy Pearce is tired and boy howdy does he think retiring might be in the cards, but what’s this? A knock at the door? Who is it?

Answers

Jurassic World: Dominion Quiz

Oh man, so there I was, hanging with my best friend Blue. She’s a dinosaur. NBD. But then all of a sudden her kid is stolen and she goes bananas on me. Well, now I’m all dinosaured up, and I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Jurassic World: Dominion?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard just neeeeed to get to the Dolomites to see some dinosaurs. But why do they need to go there?

2) Out of literal sheer coincidence, so does the OG Jurassic Park crew. Why do they have to get there?

3) But first Pratt and Howard have to go to Africa. Why?

4) How do both of the groups actually infiltrate the Dolomite Compound?

5) And finally what is the final result, who basically saves the day?

Bonus Question: The crew has saved the world (hooray), but that’s just the beginning. Who arrives as a bearer of bad news?

Answers

Amsterdam Quiz

Oh man, so there I was in WWI when I got my face and eye all blown up and junk. Now I’m a cast out doctor treating patients on the sly. Also I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Amsterdam?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) We open with a dead man in a box, Christian Bale, and John David Washington. Who is the dead man / how is he related to the two protagonists?

2) Flashback! They have to explain why Margo Robbie exists. Where did they meet Robbie, and what did she do with all that shrapnel?

3) They meet Michael Myers in Amsterdam. Who does he claim to be, who is he really, and what big conspiracy is he concerned with?

4) This movie is dense. Robert De Niro is in it. He plays a general. What does he have Bale, Washington and Robbie do to prove that they knew him in the war?

5) Ah, finally, the unraveling of the conspiracy. So, what were they trying to do?

Bonus Question: Flashforward and Bale is still running his business and things are looking up. But what’s this? A knock at the door! Who is it?

Answers

Where the Crawdads Sing Quiz

Oh man. So I live in the marsh, they call me the Marsh Guy, it isn’t a big deal. But then I fell off this fire tower and smashed my head into a beam. Good thing I have a skull like Rocky Balboa, otherwise I would be dead. But yeah, stage 10 concussion, I can’t remember a thing, the usual. Do you remember what happened in Where the Crawdad Sings?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Kya and her family live in the marsh. They live in the marsh so hard that everyone calls Kya Marsh Girl. What state do they live in?

2) After Kya’s entire family leaves, including her father, what does Kya do for money?

3) Tate is Kya’s first love, and Chase her second (kind of … does she love him?). Anyways, where does she meet them?

4) Later in life Kya makes a good amount of money writing and illustrating books. What kind of books?

5) Oh yeah, this entire thing is a courtroom drama isn’t it? What is Kya’s alibi, and what actually happened?

Bonus Question: At the end of the credits we are teased with a sequel. An older Kya lives in the marsh, but a blast from the past comes a-callin’ and it throws everything for a loop. Who?

Answers

The Invitation Quiz

Oh man, so I just saw that I have a new cousin in England and I am invited to a swanky wedding. The only issue was on my way I slipped into the ‘brary and got bopped on the head by some creature. Now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in The Invitation?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Our hero, Evie, is just living her life in NYC when she finds out she has very wealthy British relatives. Where does she get the DNA test?

2) When she arrives at the mansion she sees a bunch of totally normal things, like maids who walk out of a van and are numbered … normal. What room is she forbidden from entering?

3) Remember those numbered maids? Can you remember how all five died?

4) So, why do they want/need Evie to wed Walter?

5) Who does Evie and Grace go to beat up at the teaser at the end of the film?

Bonus Question: Back in NYC Evie is back to being a normal poor person. But there is a knock at the door. Who is it?

Answers

Blacklight Quiz

Oh man, so get this. I’m a 70 year old man, but I have the bod of a 70 year old action star. NBD. But you see, they asked me to run about five feet and I blew out my knee (the usual), stumbled, hit my head, and now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Blacklight?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) We meet Ancient Methuselah Action Star Liam Neeson as he gets ready for yet another job (“I’m getting too old for this shit” he mutters inaudibly I assume). What is his job?

2) Huh, but … like, how does one get into that kind of business? Probably not something extremely ethically questionable, right?

3) Well, good thing Liam Neeson is a totally normal person otherwise, right? … Right? Oh wait, nope, he has a bit of a quirk. What is it?

4) Meanwhile, the actual plot of the film! Turns out there’s a turn coat in Liam’s three letter organization. What does he know that the government doesn’t want everyone else to know?

5) A big part of the film was the disappearance of Liam Neeson’s family including his precocious granddaughter. Where did they go?

Bonus Question: Flashforward, and Liam Neeson is relaxing at home when he hears a knock at the door. There is a young woman there, who is she?

Answers

After Ever Happy Quiz

Oh man, I’m so brooding. I’m a bad boy, but my heart is so full of gold. And I punch things, because I’m so broken. I love Tessa (Tesssssaaaaaa!), she’s trying to fix me, and I love her so much, but I drink to forget how broken I am. But I drank so much I forgot everything! Do you remember what happened in After Ever Happy?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) We open where the last movie left off: Hardin is all mad because his father isn’t his father, and instead Tessa’s boss is her father. He’s so mad he decides to get real drunk and commit a crime. What crime, and who takes the fall?

2) After Tessa and Hardin return to London, Hardin is all like “I’ll see you laters. I’m totally not running away.” But run away he does. To where? And how does Tessa find him?

3) When Tessa goes back to Atlanta she finds her father dead (oh no!). What did he die of?

4) Tessa goes to the doctor to find out about something. What?

5) In the end Tessa moves to New York, Hardin writes the titular After series, and they break up like goobers (classic). But what does Tessa do for work while living in New York?

Bonus Question: Previously on Bad Boys Assemble: Hearts of Gold – Landon Carter from A Walk to Remember, David Elliot from Endless Love, and Kelley Morse from Here on Earth recruit Hardin into the Bad Boy Avengers (called H.O.G. aka Hearts of Gold). Infiltrating a University of Washington fraternity, Hardin frees Luke McNamara (head of H.O.G.) who calls on The Skulls to destroy the eeeeevil frat. In the mid-credits scene Hardin gets the call he’s always feared. Where is Hardin heading now?

Answers

The King’s Daughter Quiz

Oh man, so I was a sweet little merman, living in Atlantic (natch), when an eeeeeevil fisherman caught me and bopped me right on the head! Now I can’t remember a thing! Do you remember what happened in The King’s Daughter?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) In the court of Louis XIV an event causes the king to fear for his mortality. What happened?

2) Meanwhile, the king’s illegitimate daughter is hidden away in a convent. What mundane activity is she barred from doing?

3) But it is time for a big celebration, so the king calls his daughter to court. It turns out she has musical talent! What position is she appointed to, and what instrument does she play?

4) Later the king’s daughter is flirting with her potential beau and uh-oh, an accident happens. What happens to the king’s daughter and how is she cured?

5) What stops the king from killing the mermaid and getting eternal life?

Bonus Question: Years later, the king lays on his deathbed. His dear friend Father Pere La Chaise by his side. As he dies he whispers one final work to La Chaise. What does he say?

Answers

Prey for the Devil Quiz

Oh boy. So I was possessed (again, I feel like I’ve been possessed a few times in my life), and had like a bunch of hair in my mouth, and then a crazy fist came out! It was nuts. But afterwards I was in such shock that I just plum forgot everything! Do you remember what happened in Prey for the Devil?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) We’re at the top exorcism hospital in Boston (if not America!), and our hero, Ann, is a nun. What are and aren’t the nuns at this hospital allowed to do for the possession patients?

2) Well guess what dummies? We got the Michael Jordan of exorcism up in here. What in Sister Ann’s past prepared her for this NEL (National Exorcism League) Championship?

3) Well, cool. Well, you can’t just jump in and dominate excorisming right away. That would be crazy. Good thing there is another person available who is possessed. Who does she try and exorcism first, and what is the result?

4) What one weird trick does the devil not want you to know about excorisms that Ann intuits from being such a good Catholic?

5) How does Ann ultimately defeat the devil who preyed on Natalie?

Bonus Question: Oh boy, aren’t we on tenterhooks after that big surprise ending. But boom, in the mid-credits scene our hero awakens from a dream. Phew. But then her phone rings. Who is it?

Answers