Category: Preview

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze Preview

Jamie and Patrick look over the bustling BMF HQ. With the help of Scott Bakula’s international name recognition they’re back and better than ever. Kyle comes up and hands them the latest article for the site: Yes We Manne-Can, The Best Mannequin Films of 2015-2025. It’s brilliant. “I’m just glad I can help out, considering that it was not long ago that I was running BMT and you were trying to figure out how to be good.” Jamie and Patrick laugh a little. “And to think,” Jamie says softly with a smirk, “it was here all along. Family is good.” They triple bro hug. Everything has been coming up Jamie and Patrick since they kicked Kevin James’ head clean off. “Patrick?” Jamie says thoughtfully, “do you ever wish we hadn’t kicked Kevin James’ head clean off?” You can see Patrick turn the question over in his head. A moment of clarity crosses his face as it finally dawns on him exactly what they did that fateful day. He opens his mouth, struggling to express the myriad of emotions he is feeling, “No. No I don’t.” Kyle and Jamie exhale in relief. They triple bro hug again and the whole company erupts in cheers at the beautiful expression of family love, which represents the majesty of Bad Movie Family. They cheers with cans of Bud Light. As Patrick takes a deep draught he is left with a glowing green beer-stache. “Woah, what’s that?” Kyle says and grabs at Patrick’s can. It’s filled with a thick green liquid. “Oh, yeah, it’s just a little thing I invented. I call it Ooze.” Kyle takes a drink and his eyes go wide. “It’s like Mountain Dew flavored Bud Light. It’s… amazing. What’s the secret?” Patrick eyes Jamie. Is he thinking what he’s thinking? That’s right! We are getting a blast from the past with the original Justice League, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Both The Secret of the Ooze and Turtles in Time qualify, but you better believe I’ll also be watching the original. TMNT4Life! Let’s go!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991) – BMeTric: 32.3; Notability: 52

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 9.2%; Notability: top 2.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 25.8%; Higher BMeT: Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, Cool as Ice, Critters 3, Problem Child 2, Child’s Play 3, Suburban Commando, Nothing But Trouble, Return to the Blue Lagoon, Mannequin: On the Move, Kickboxer 2: The Road Back, Zandalee, King Ralph, Double Impact, Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time, Hudson Hawk, V.I. Warshawski, The Butcher’s Wife, House Party 2, Curly Sue, Ernest Scared Stupid, and 3 more; Higher Notability: Hook, Hudson Hawk, Mobsters, Flight of the Intruder, Switch, Rock-A-Doodle, Life Stinks; Lower RT: Return to the Blue Lagoon, Critters 3, The Super, Run, Cool as Ice, Another You, All I Want for Christmas, Problem Child 2, Mobsters, The Marrying Man, Strictly Business, Drop Dead Fred, Oscar, Nothing But Trouble, The Hitman, Mannequin: On the Move, Curly Sue, One Good Cop, Suburban Commando, Pure Luck, and 41 more; Notes: We are going to get to Hook, I promise you that. I have no idea what Mobsters is … played 14 times in the 90s. This played 45 times which is pretty decent. Rock-a-Doodle played a gaudy 56 times. Gives you an idea of that metric.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – I bent over backwards to be fair to the first movie about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was, I wrote, “probably the best possible Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie.” Now we have the sequel, subtitled “The Secret of the Ooze.” I may not get what I want, but I get what I deserve. … I liked the older superheroes better. The ones that stood out from a crowd, had their own opinions, were not afraid of ridicule, and symbolized a future of truth and justice. Spiderman and Superman represented democratic values. Today’s kids are learning from the Turtles that the world is a sinkhole of radioactive waste, that it’s more reassuring to huddle together in sewers than take your chances competing at street level, and that individuality is dangerous. Cowabunga.

(Haha, so righteous Ebert. Here’s the thing. TMNT was rad. Like the coolest shit in the world when I was what? Six years old. I had a birthday party at the candlepin bowling alley and got basically all of the toys. Wait … is that enough information to pinpoint my identity.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al9jfY7zOBY/

(My god, this what … TV spot? The sound effects are off the chain. Them being clearly very resistant to showing the bad mutants is kind of charming. And yes, off course the Ninja Rap has to take center stage,)

Directors – Michael Pressman – ( Known For: The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training; The Great Texas Dynamite Chase; Some Kind of Hero; Boulevard Nights; Those Lips, Those Eyes; Frankie and Johnny Are Married; Future BMT: Doctor Detroit; To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Notes: )

Writers – Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird – ( Known For: The Lego Movie; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie; Heavy Metal 2000; Future BMT: TMNT; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Notes: Clearly the TMNT comic book creators. Was a play off of Daredevil originally all the way down to their enemies being The Foot (instead of The Hand) and their master being Splinter instead of Stick. Both heroes were created from the same ooze spill in the comics as well.)

Todd W. Langen – (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Notes: Was a writer on the Wonder Years, and then wrote both of these films.)

Actors – Paige Turco – ( Known For: Invincible; Books of Blood; Urbania; The Pompatus of Love; Rhinoceros Eyes; The Favor; Dead Funny; Future BMT: The Stepfather; BMT: The Game Plan; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Notes: Was in 85 episodes of The 100 recently. She plays April, which is, indeed, the main character who actually is physically on screen at any point.)

David Warner – ( Known For: Titanic; Scream 2; The Man with Two Brains; Planet of the Apes; Tron; Mary Poppins Returns; The Omen; Time Bandits; In the Mouth of Madness; Straw Dogs; Black Death; Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country; Mortal Passions; Time After Time; Tom Jones; The French Lieutenant’s Woman; The Company of Wolves; Cross of Iron; The Concorde… Airport ’79; Necronomicon: Book of Dead; Future BMT: Money Talks; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Star Trek V: The Final Frontier; Wing Commander; Notes: Was nominated for two Emmys in late-70s/early-80s and won for Masada in 1981. He plays the scientist in this who creates the ooze. I hope he had a ball.)

Michelan Sisti – ( Known For: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; The Muppets; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Notes: Here is the only actual turtle to get into the top three credits. He plays Mikey. But like … in the suit, not the voice, which is hilarious. That was Robbie Rist.)

Budget/Gross – $25,000,000 / Domestic: $78,656,813 (Worldwide: $78,656,813)

(Absolutely solid. No wonder they thought “we need to take this on tour” and then make a few more movies, and make a tv show, etc. etc. etc. And now a new movie is coming out. I hope it is good.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (15/43): Not only is the movie’s juvenile dialogue unbearable for adults, but the turtles’ dopey and casual attitude towards physical violence makes them poor kids’ role models.

(Boooooooo. I don’t need this moralizing from my reviewers. Kids. Thought. This. Was. Rad. The end.)

NY Times Short Review: Now they meet Shredder’s new mutant monsters.

Poster – TMNT II: Check out Dis Ooze

(I enjoy a lot about this poster. Shadows are cool. Colors are bright. Could do with better font, but it looks like a painting, which is cool. Just one question… what is Michelangelo holding in his hands? Are those his nunchucks? B for the poster, F for drawing nunchucks.)

Tagline(s) – Back by bodacious demand. (C+)

(Hell yeah. I mean, no it’s not good, but I appreciate the unironic effort to be totally dope.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.6 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.6 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 65.7 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.7 The Grudge 2 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Marmaduke (2010), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), … (and many more)

Best Options (daddio): 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 46.3 Daddy Day Care (2003)

(So yeah, this is a bonus. Only the third one played on September 1st in the 90s. And obviously, because as I said, kids thought this was rad, it smashed the Kids’ Choice Awards.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Paige Turco is No. 1 billed in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze and No. 2 billed in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, which also stars Stuart Wilson (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 9 billed) => (1 + 2) + (3 + 9) = 15. If we were to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – In the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) film, the turtles facial expressions were cable operated with all the motors, servos etc housed in the shell. In this movie, thanks to a larger budget, the animatronics were much smaller and lighter and were built into the face itself.

Judith Hoag was not called in to reprise her role as April O’Neil after the director was unhappy when she derided the way they mistreated the stunt doubles and their unfair schedules changes. She stated at SuperCon Florida that she had no ill-will towards Paige Turco. Instead they met 17 years later and are now good friends. The directors found Paige Turco to resemble the character more, and found her chemistry with the Turtles to seem more sincere.

Ernie Reyes Jr. was Donatello’s fight double in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990). Producers liked Reyes so much, they created the role of Keno just for him to replace the ultra-violent Casey Jones.

The building used for the entrance to April’s apartment is the office to the New York location of Jim Henson’s Creature Shop.

Dedicated to the memory of Jim Henson.

Justice League Preview

Jamie and Patrick boogie their way across the dance floor. The wedding was a smash hit. It was simulcast across every channel and used more energy than the country of Brazil. They cheers their beers and mack on some cake. Everything has come up Movie Twins since they kicked Kevin James’ head clean off. “I’m so proud of you,” Patrick says, remembering his own wedding back when things were simpler. When he didn’t have six children. When he hadn’t kicked a man’s head clean off. “I’m proud of me, too,” Jamie responds, tears in his eyes, remembering his own salad days filled with carefree innocence and demon boxes. “If only…” they say at the same time. Embarrassed, Patrick tells Jamie that he should go first. “No, no,” Jamie insists, “please, I interrupted you.” This goes on for hours. It’s charming. Finally they agree that they’ll both say it at the same time. One. Two. Three. “If only Dad were here,” they say and smile. Twins! “Maybe I am,” they whirl around and are shocked to see Scott Bakula. “Bakula the Snackula! My man!” Jamie says, giving Scott Bakula a big hug. “I really appreciate it, but we were kind of thinking of our real Dad.” Jamie smiles a bit sadly, but Scott Bakula puts a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe I am,” he says, tears streaming down his face, splashing on the genetic test report he has held in his hand that definitively determines that he is their father. The crowd goes wild. “I’d like to make a toast!” Scott Bakula declares. “To my sons, to the Bad Movie Twins, and to the dream father and sons team!” With that he reveals a new website. No longer Bad Movie Twins, but rather Bad Movie… Family. “Dream Team,” they all whisper. That’s right! We are doing the not-so-original dream team film, Justice League. Like many of the DC films this was critically reviled. But was it hated because it was compared to The Avengers? Or was it hated because it was taking away from Zack Snyder and chopped to pieces? Or is it just junk? Time to find out. Let’s go!

Justice League (2017) – BMeTric: 31.1; Notability: 117

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 18.4%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 26.2%; Higher BMeT: The Emoji Movie, Death Note, Jeepers Creepers III, Fifty Shades Darker, Rings, The Bye Bye Man, Snatched, Day of the Dead: Bloodline, The Snowman, Transformers: The Last Knight, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul, The Humanity Bureau, Leatherface, The Layover, Amityville: The Awakening, Flatliners, Wish Upon, Geostorm, The Circle, The Vault, and 26 more; Higher Notability: Transformers: The Last Knight; Lower RT: The Layover, Flatliners, Just Getting Started, Hangman, The Emoji Movie, The Snowman, Rings, Tulip Fever, American Renegades, Fifty Shades Darker, Day of the Dead: Bloodline, The Vanishing of Sidney Hall, The Mummy, The Dark Tower, The Circle, Transformers: The Last Knight, The Space Between Us, Jeepers Creepers III, Baywatch, Geostorm, and 43 more; Notes: 100+ notabilities are awesome. Even more absurd that The Last Night beat it. What the hell.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – It’s frustrating to see “Justice League” fail to get out of its own way, because whenever it does, it shrugs off the burdens of its famously troubled production and becomes special. An exact accounting of what went wrong is a matter for an investigative reporter, not a film reviewer, but one would assume that the filmmaking process wasn’t helped by the studio’s sudden, post-“Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice” demand that the story add humor and camaraderie. Ditto the March, 2017 death of director Zack Snyder’s daughter, which put Joss Whedon, who’d already been hired for rewrites, in charge of post-production (including the CGI erasure of a mustache that Cavill grew after he thought the shoot had wrapped—a dubious technical triumph that results in some weird-looking close-ups). The extent of Whedon’s involvement in this rescue operation is anybody’s guess. Regardless, the end product is coherent: funny but rarely glib, serious but unpretentious, and better than it had any right to be.

(Very funny that this reviews seems to like it. I guess it isn’t unlikely. 40% of critics liked it. I just would have had the impression that big critics would have hated it.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXrgvNXfN7M/

(Kind of cool trailer I suppose. Besides the extremely muted colors. The terrible remix of a famous song. The “My man!” bit in the middle. The dumb looking bad guys and too-high-stakes CGI-fest. … Besides all that it looks cool.)

Directors – Zack Snyder – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; 300; Watchmen; Dawn of the Dead; Man of Steel; Army of the Dead; Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Sucker Punch; Notes: He is his own genre. Smashed it with 300, but I think the wheels have come off. He basically just plays the hits for his devoted fans at this point.)

Writers – Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Man of Steel; Superman; The Lego Batman Movie; Superman Returns; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Superman II; Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut; Reign of the Supermen; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Superman III; Superman IV: The Quest for Peace; Notes: These are going to be the comic book creators of Superman.)

Chris Terrio – ( Known For: Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Argo; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Notes: Him writing Argo makes me think he’s Affleck’s guy. I think this guy probably actually wrote the film.)

Zack Snyder – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; 300; Wonder Woman; Army of the Dead; 300: Rise of an Empire; Army of Thieves; BMT: Justice League; Sucker Punch; Notes: He really got the car keys for this guy. I’ll eventually watch his four hour Justice League cut. I can’t really imagine the point.)

Joss Whedon – ( Known For: The Avengers; Toy Story; Avengers: Age of Ultron; The Cabin in the Woods; Atlantis: The Lost Empire; Serenity; Alien: Resurrection; Titan A.E.; In Your Eyes; Much Ado About Nothing; Future BMT: Buffy the Vampire Slayer; BMT: Justice League; Notes: Famously came in to take over after Snyder had to leave the production. By all accounts he was a colossal dick on set and the stories that came out afterwards was instrumental in destroying his career. Good job.)

Gardner Fox and Bob Kane and Bill Finger – ( Known For: The Batman; The Dark Knight; Joker; The Dark Knight Rises; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Batman; Batman Begins; Batman Returns; The Lego Batman Movie; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman: The Movie; Batman Ninja; Batman; Batman: Soul of the Dragon; Batman and Robin; Scooby-Doo & Batman: The Brave and the Bold; Future BMT: Batman: The Killing Joke; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Batman & Robin; Batman Forever; Catwoman; Notes: And these are going to be the Batman guys. Fox doesn’t seem to get credit much, but here he is.)

William Moulton Marston – ( Known For: Shazam! Fury of the Gods; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Wonder Woman; Wonder Woman 1984; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Wonder Woman: Bloodlines; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Notes: Ah this would be the Wonder Woman guy. His story is nuts. He was in a polyamorous relationship and Wonder Woman is explicitly based on either his wife or the woman they were in a relationship with. Fun story.)

Jack Kirby – ( Known For: Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Avengers: Endgame; Black Panther: Wakanda Forever; Avengers: Infinity War; Eternals; Iron Man; The Avengers; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Ant-Man; Thor; Black Panther; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Thor: Ragnarok; Captain Marvel; Captain America: Civil War; Iron Man Three; Iron Man 2; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; BMT: Justice League; Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: Kirby is all over all comic books, both Marvel and DC.)

Actors – Ben Affleck – ( Known For: Air; Good Will Hunting; Dazed and Confused; Gone Girl; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Accountant; Deep Water; The Town; The Last Duel; Argo; Triple Frontier; Field of Dreams; Dogma; Clerks III; Daredevil; The Tender Bar; The Way Back; He’s Just Not That Into You; School Ties; Shakespeare in Love; Future BMT: Hypnotic; Smokin’ Aces; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Live by Night; 200 Cigarettes; Surviving Christmas; BMT: Suicide Squad; Justice League; Pearl Harbor; Armageddon; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Paycheck; Gigli; Runner Runner; Reindeer Games; Phantoms; Notes: He’s married to J-Lo now. He also won two Oscars, one for Good Will Hunting and the other as a producer for Argo. He’s had his ups and downs. I thought for a split second he might get an make-up Oscar nod for Air, but I think that is a long long shot.)

Gal Gadot – ( Known For: Fast X; Shazam! Fury of the Gods; Fast Five; Furious 6; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Death on the Nile; Red Notice; Wonder Woman; Knight and Day; Wonder Woman 1984; Ralph Breaks the Internet; Date Night; Between Two Ferns: The Movie; Triple 9; Kicking Out Shoshana; Future BMT: Criminal; BMT: Fast & Furious; Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Keeping Up with the Joneses; Notes: Famously a former Mossad agent in the Israeli army. In the few things I’ve seen her in she’s quite charming. Wonder Woman was good.)

Jason Momoa – ( Known For: Fast X; Dune; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Aquaman; Slumberland; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; The Bad Batch; Wolves; Sweet Girl; The Last Manhunt; Braven; Bullet to the Head; Once Upon a Time in Venice; Road to Paloma; Sugar Mountain; Debug; Future BMT: Johnson Family Vacation; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Conan the Barbarian; Notes: Former WWE wrestler, and maybe the most successful version of that at the moment now that The Rock’s career is … on the rocks. Kind of broke through with his relatively small role on Game of Thrones, and now he had supporting performances in things like Dune.)

Budget/Gross – $300 million / Domestic: $229,024,295 (Worldwide: $657,926,987)

(That is pretty terrible for what they wanted, and spoiler, it never got better. This year DC’s grand plans died and they are kind of back to the drawing board as to exactly what to do with their IP.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 39% (161/409): Justice League leaps over a number of DC movies, but its single bound isn’t enough to shed the murky aesthetic, thin characters, and chaotic action that continue to dog the franchise.

(Yeah it barely makes it haha. Murky aesthetic is otherwise known as that Snyder look.)

NY Times Short Review: In this superhero jamboree, the Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg sign on with the DC Comics team leaders Batman and Wonder Woman. (Psst … where’s Superman?) 

Poster – Goodniks United

(I am a huge font proponent. Just look at my track record. Years and years of font promotion. I want font up the wazoo… but this… this is too far up the wazoo my friends. You have wandered too deep into the wazoo. This… this is no good. D.)

Tagline(s) – You can’t save the world alone. (C-)

(I don’t know where this tagline is from but at least it’s short. That’s all I got.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.6 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.7 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Little Man (2006), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Marmaduke (2010), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), … (and many more)

Best Options (suicide-squad): 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 62.2 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 53.9 Annie (2014), 51.7 Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (2005), 44.6 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), 37.8 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 34.1 Shark Tale (2004), 32.3 Joe Dirt (2001), 31.1 Justice League (2017), 27.8 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 27.0 War (2007), 24.8 Terminator Genisys (2015), 20.9 Charlie St. Cloud (2010), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 19.4 Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018), 17.0 Saw II (2005), 9.0 The Longest Ride (2015)

(Very borderline (Ezra Miller is in Suicide Squad for like five seconds), but it checks out. I just want to get through all the DC films you know?)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 8) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ben Affleck is No. 1 billed in Justice League and No. 1 billed in Pearl Harbor, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 8. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – When the film was shown in Iceland, which uses subtitles rather than dialog dubbing for films with non-Icelandic languages, Jason Momoa’s pronunciation of his single line of Icelandic was so unintelligible that it had to be subtitled into Icelandic (often resulting in audience laughter).

Director Zack Snyder and his wife, producer Deborah Snyder, stepped down from finishing the film after the suicide of their daughter in March 2017. They tried to remain involved in the film as a way to work through the difficulty, but after two months decided to step away from the project to spend time with their family. Joss Whedon, who had signed on for Batgirl, took over as director, managing additional scenes that need to be included in the final cut. Warner Bros. have stated that Joss would direct and write in the same style as Zack so there won’t be any tonal shifts or obvious changes in style. However, Whedon controversially fired Snyder’s composer, Tom Holkenborg, and replaced him with Danny Elfman, who previously composed Whedon’s Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015).

Extensive reshoots in London and Los Angeles in mid-2017 added a cost of approximately $25 million to the film’s budget. Henry Cavill worked on the reshoots and Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018) at the same time. He had to sport a moustache for his role in the latter project. However, Paramount refused to let the actor shave it off to play Superman in the reshoots. This meant that Cavill’s facial hair had to be digitally removed in post-production. However, due to a tight schedule, the results were crude and were among the many criticisms of the theatrical version of the film.

Holt McCallany, who plays the burglar in the first scene with Batman, said the scene was written and shot by Joss Whedon as comedic, but Warner Bros. preferred to open the film with a more serious tone, and the scene was re-edited. When McCallany returned home to New York, he found a bottle of his favorite champagne at his door and a note from Whedon that said, ‘To battles lost. Gratefully, Joss.’ McCallany appreciated Whedon’s gesture and had the letter framed.

Due to the running time backlash of past DC movies, Warner Bros. demanded a film under two hours without credits. While the final running time for Justice League (2017) was only 119 minutes, the director’s cut, Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021), stands at a whopping 242 minutes.

The Wedding Planner Preview

Jamie and Patrick sit in their cell. Having kicked Kevin James’ head clean off it’s not a surprise they were arrested, but they are still in a bit of shock. “Looks like you’ll be going to jail for a looong time. Hoooo weeeee,” the jailor at the Smith County Jail whistles in delight, “You kicked his head clean off. Boy oh boy, what I wouldn’t give to see that again.” Just as he begins to reminisce he hears a call from the other room. Turns out there was extensive footage from the event taken from cell phone cameras and security footage. It’s already been edited into a 30 minute short film available online and is an early front runner for Best Documentary Short. He rushes into the other room to relive the greatest moment of his life. Jamie and Patrick sigh. Just then the Smith County judge walks in. “Bad Movie Twins,” he scowls, “you kicked a man’s head clean off and I think you know that you deserve to be in jail for a looong time.” Everyone in the room nods. “In fact, if I had it my way,” he continues, “you’d get the ‘lectric chair.” Again, everyone kind of agrees. Kevin James was a national treasure. “But,” he unexpectedly continues, “there is a little known precedent set in fair use law that states that while parody is protected under the first amendment, kicking the head clean off of the person doing the parody is, in itself, a parody… and so it is protected under the law.” With that he frees Jamie and Patrick, much to the delight of the crowd. A female police officer rushes up to Jamie. “Marry me!” she screams and Jamie shrugs. Sure, why not? A celebrity wedding appears to be what the people want. That’s right! We are watching the JLo classic, The Wedding Planner. Who can even remember anyone else in it. JLo! Let’s go!

The Wedding Planner (2001) – BMeTric: 57.2; Notability: 47

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.0%; Notability: top 13.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 14.3%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Valentine, Monkeybone, The Musketeer, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Wedding Planner; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Monkeybone, Hannibal, Impostor, Not Another Teen Movie, Ghosts of Mars, Bubble Boy, Scary Movie 2, Swordfish, 15 Minutes, The One, The Affair of the Necklace, Town & Country, I Am Sam, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, 3000 Miles to Graceland, Don’t Say a Word, Texas Rangers, and 13 more; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Head Over Heels, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Perfume, The Musketeer, Valentine, Double Take, and 14 more; Notes: Aw hell yeah, it isn’t every day we can hit up a high profile early 2000s bad movie classic. And guess what? The Animal? It’s on the docket. Although that one I’ve seen … like 4 times. I saw it in theaters.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Jennifer Lopez looks soulfully into the eyes of Matthew McConaughey, but is he looking back? One of the many problems of “The Wedding Planner” is that we can’t tell and don’t much care. When a plot depends on two people falling in love when they absolutely should not, we have to be able to believe at some level that they have been swept up by a destiny beyond their control. McConaughey seems less inflamed by his sudden new romance than resigned to it.

(Hahahahahaha, hell yeah. That sounds hilarious. Like, a romcom where everyone kind of sucks?)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PN6Hx1sQA/

(They do a good job making them not seem like horrible people in a way. But man … J-Lo is distracting. Don’t worry, I get very deep into it in the recap. Some people would argue too deep. Way too deep.)

Directors – Adam Shankman – ( Known For: Hairspray; Disenchanted; Rock of Ages; What Men Want; Future BMT: Bedtime Stories; BMT: A Walk to Remember; The Pacifier; The Wedding Planner; Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Bringing Down the House; Notes: He was nominated for two Emmys, both for organizing the 2010 Academy Awards ceremony.)

Writers – Pamela Falk – ( Known For: An Invisible Sign; BMT: The Wedding Planner; Notes: Those are her only credits, and there isn’t any other info on her online.)

Michael Ellis – ( BMT: The Wedding Planner; Notes: The only other thing in either of their profiles is an untitled Falk/Ellis project, so I assume there are writing partners in some capacity.)

Actors – Jennifer Lopez – ( Known For: The Mother; Shotgun Wedding; Hustlers; The Cell; Marry Me; Home; Out of Sight; Parker; Selena; U Turn; Second Act; Jersey Girl; Antz; Shall We Dance; An Unfinished Life; My Family; Bordertown; Lila & Eve; Blood and Wine; El cantante; Future BMT: Enough; Maid in Manhattan; Monster-in-Law; Jack; Ice Age: Continental Drift; Ice Age: Collision Course; Angel Eyes; The Back-up Plan; Feel the Noise; BMT: The Boy Next Door; The Wedding Planner; Anaconda; Gigli; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Money Train; Notes: Man we have a ton to go. Nominated for an Emmy for the Superbowl Halftime show. Originally I wanted to do this film because I was convinced it was the subject of one really old episode of a podcast I missed … turned out that was Maid in Manhattan.)

Matthew McConaughey – ( Known For: Interstellar; The Wolf of Wall Street; The Gentlemen; Dazed and Confused; Sing 2; A Time to Kill; Tropic Thunder; Contact; Sing; Magic Mike; Dallas Buyers Club; How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; We Are Marshall; Mud; The Lincoln Lawyer; Frailty; Reign of Fire; White Boy Rick; Killer Joe; Amistad; Future BMT: Angels in the Outfield; The Dark Tower; Sahara; Two for the Money; Paparazzi; My Boyfriend’s Back; Larger Than Life; BMT: The Wedding Planner; Tiptoes; Fool’s Gold; Failure to Launch; Serenity; Ghosts of Girlfriends Past; Notes: Won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club. Famously from Houston. At one point he was rumored to be running for governor of Texas in 2022, but he didn’t.)

Bridgette Wilson-Sampras – ( Known For: Billy Madison; Higher Learning; Nixon; Shopgirl; Buying the Cow; The Real Blonde; The Suburbans; Unhook the Stars; Phantom Punch; Nevada; Starstruck; Future BMT: Last Action Hero; House on Haunted Hill; Beautiful; Just Visiting; Love Stinks; BMT: Mortal Kombat; I Know What You Did Last Summer; The Wedding Planner; Extreme Ops; Notes: As you can tell by her name she married Pete Sampras, best tennis player of all time (or so we thought in like 2004 …). They have two children, the first of which should be out of college, and appears to be a model.)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $60,400,856 (Worldwide: $94,728,529)

(That’s kind of okay. Not anything spectacular at the time, but fine for a romantic comedy I would think.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (18/106): Instead of being light and charming, this romantic comedy is heavy-handed and contrived in its execution. Also, it’s too unoriginal.

(I would think all romantic comedies are unoriginal in their own way. The most successful ones always seem to be remakes.)

Reviewer Highlight: Title character falls for handsome client. Star charisma almost makes it work.

Poster – xXx: The Wedding Xander

(Woof. And I mean, woof! That is everything bad in poster making. I usually refrain from saying this, because I’m an untalented fool. But… I could make a better poster for The Wedding Planner. F… I actually do think this is an F. It’s like a child made it.)

Tagline(s) – A romantic comedy about love, destiny and other events you just can’t plan for. (F)

(Is it done yet? Have they finished the tagline? Everything about that poster is a horror show.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.6 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), Zookeeper (2011), The Sweetest Thing (2002), Truth or Dare (2018), Jupiter Ascending (2015), Grown Ups 2 (2013), License to Wed (2007), The Wedding Planner (2001), Tom & Jerry (2021), Point Break (2015), After (2019), Batman Forever (1995), Congo (1995), House of Wax (2005), Down to You (2000), Bride Wars (2009), The Ring Two (2005), Killers (2010), The Tuxedo (2002), I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009), The Hustle (2019), Vampire Academy (2014), Bulletproof Monk (2003), Baywatch (2017), … (and many more)

Best Options (Romance): 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 61.9 Obsessed (2009), 57.5 Maid in Manhattan (2002), 57.2 The Wedding Planner (2001), 55.3 The Back-up Plan (2010), 54.8 Honey (2003), 53.1 Aloha (2015), 52.6 Just My Luck (2006), 52.1 Loser (2000), 51.7 View from the Top (2003), 51.0 Little Fockers (2010), 49.9 Just Married (2003), 49.4 Monster-in-Law (2005), 48.1 Stomp the Yard (2007), 47.0 On the Line (2001), 46.7 You, Me and Dupree (2006), 46.5 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002), 45.5 I Feel Pretty (2018), 43.3 John Tucker Must Die (2006), 43.2 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (2003), 40.7 Mr. Deeds (2002), 40.6 The Break-Up (2006), 38.0 Whatever It Takes (2000), 37.7 Think Like a Man Too (2014), 36.5 A Cinderella Story (2004), 33.8 The Other Woman (2014), 33.8 Along Came Polly (2004), 33.3 Peeples (2013), 33.2 The Last Song (2010), 31.3 My Life in Ruins (2009), 31.2 Overboard (2018), 28.3 Chasing Liberty (2004), 26.9 Step Up 2: The Streets (2008), 24.8 Meet the Fockers (2004), 24.5 Dear John (2010), 21.9 The Ugly Truth (2009), 21.6 The Giver (2014), 21.5 The Lucky One (2012), 20.9 Charlie St. Cloud (2010), 19.1 Life as We Know It (2010), 16.9 The Beach (2000), 14.9 Grumpier Old Men (1995), 12.7 The Vow (2012), 9.3 P.S. I Love You (2007), 9.0 The Longest Ride (2015), 7.8 Remember Me (2010)

(That’s pretty good … wait, why didn’t we do Maid in Manhattan!? That’s the one I wanted to do anyways. I guess I just didn’t realize both qualified or something.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jennifer Lopez is No. 1 billed in The Wedding Planner and No. 2 billed in Gigli, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 11. If we were to watch Two for the Money we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – Jennifer Love Hewitt was developing a separate film with the same premise for her to star in but was forced to cancel the project when this film was released.

Bree Turner, who plays the bride needing comforting by Jennifer Lopez at the beginning of the movie, also opened another wedding movie, as a bridesmaid in the opening title sequence performance in My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997). Fan theories claim it was her playing the same character, still unlucky in love.

Franny’s Mother, played by Joanna Gleason, sings very badly in the movie and is asked numerous times by her daughter not to sing. In fact, Gleason has a very good singing voice and has appeared in several Broadway musicals, including “Into the Woods” for which she won the 1988 Tony Award for Best Actress in a Musical.

Brendan Fraser was set to play the role of Dr. Steve/Eddie, but scheduling conflicts with filming the movie Bedazzled (2000) prevented him.

Sarah Michelle Gellar was originally set to star, but had to drop out because of scheduling conflicts from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress of the Decade (Jennifer Lopez)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Jennifer Lopez)

Glass Preview

Jamie and Patrick climb on stage and grab the microphone from Kevin James. “This man is a fraud,” they yell, “they man has no honor as he won’t name us. He will only imply that we have exceptionally itchy balls from the safety of parody. But we don’t. So Kevin James,” they turn to look at him, “Prepare to do battle.” They throw the microphone into the crowd and begin to pummel him with all their twin might. In that moment they are a mix between man and jaguar, monstrous beings that only vaguely resemble humans. Kevin James’ eyes are wild with fear. He attempts to scramble his way back into the bathroom he allegedly destroyed, but Jamie and Patrick suspect was just another one of his foul lies used for a cheap laugh. Before he gets there, they grab him by the legs and fling him like a ragdoll into his precious crowd. He begs them for help, but the crowd recoils, fearing that any help they give will be met with a storm of fury from Jamie and Patrick. Kevin James scrambles backwards, bumping up against the duffel bag he carries with him containing the many awards he has won. He attempts to appease them by giving them these trophies, like a man hoping to appease an angry god, but Jamie and Patrick simply bat away his 2013 MovieGuide Grace Award. “Help me, robot man!” Kevin James screams in desperation at Michael, but the robot nods his head. The twins have finally got it. The people are always right and the people want blood. “You’ve awakened The Beast and here comes the boom,” Jamie says demonically and with that they launch into a flying twin kick that knocks Kevin James’ head clean off. That’s right! We are watching the M. Night BMT classic Glass. He has launched himself out of director jail, but it doesn’t mean he can’t throw us a BMT bone once in a while. Let’s go!

Glass (2019) – BMeTric: 16.9; Notability: 27

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 18.4%; Notability: top 7.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.3%; Higher BMeT: Cats, Secret Obsession, IO, Escape Plan: The Extractors, The Fanatic, Hellboy, The Curse of La Llorona, After, The Poison Rose, The Silence, Tall Girl, Rim of the World, The Hustle, In the Tall Grass, Playing with Fire, Polaroid, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, Serenity, Primal, Countdown, and 26 more; Higher Notability: Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, X-Men: Dark Phoenix, Men in Black: International, 6 Underground, Cats, UglyDolls, Gemini Man, Above Suspicion, The Kitchen, Angel Has Fallen, Zeroville, The Dirt, The Goldfinch, Hellboy, Shaft, Rim of the World, Otherhood, The Hustle, Rambo: Last Blood; Lower RT: The Poison Rose, Polaroid, The Coldest Game, The Hustle, The Fanatic, Buddy Games, Hellboy, After, Polar, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, Cats, The Jesus Rolls, Serenity, Miss Bala, Lucy in the Sky, Jexi, Iron Mask, X-Men: Dark Phoenix, Zeroville, Men in Black: International, and 24 more; Notes: Man, should we just watch Cats again? What a glory.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – There are glimpses of the crazy, ambitious movie that “Glass” could have been, and that’s what saves it from complete “Happening”-level disaster. Once again, McAvoy is giving it his all, even if he’s not getting as much back in return as he did last time (and is balanced by another half-hearted Willis performance in which I swear you can practically see him fall asleep). And there are just enough out-there ideas in “Glass” that it’s impossible to completely dismiss even if they don’t come together. It’s that fine line between ambitiously clunky in a way that engages the viewer and just sloppy. I honestly kept trying to engage with “Glass” as a fan of Shyamalan’s early films, comic books, and movies that try to mash-up familiar genres in a way that makes a new one. I ultimately resigned myself to the fact that it’s not my fault that it’s broken.

(Yeah, this is roughly the gist I got from a few different podcast discussions. Although some of those were more impressed with the gall of M. Night to pull the rug out from the viewers in the end.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7ztHi9ejp4/

(Solid trailer. Given how well received Split was this was quite highly anticipated as well. Looked awesome.)

Directors – M. Night Shyamalan – ( Known For: Knock at the Cabin; Split; Old; The Sixth Sense; Signs; Unbreakable; The Visit; The Village; Wide Awake; Praying with Anger; BMT: Glass; The Last Airbender; The Happening; After Earth; Lady in the Water; Notes: Y’all know M. Night. Incredible that we have officially finished his filmography … again I guess, we did previously at one point too it looks like.)

Writers – M. Night Shyamalan – ( Known For: Knock at the Cabin; Split; Old; The Sixth Sense; Signs; Unbreakable; The Visit; Stuart Little; The Village; Devil; Wide Awake; Praying with Anger; BMT: Glass; The Last Airbender; The Happening; After Earth; Lady in the Water; Notes: The son of two doctors (I think) in Philadelphia which is why he always sets his films there. Prior to him ever directing a film he declared he would be the next Spielberg. He kind of was for a bit.)

Actors – James McAvoy – ( Known For: Split; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Deadpool 2; Atonement; The Bubble; It Chapter Two; Wanted; X: First Class; X-Men: Apocalypse; X-Men: Days of Future Past; Atomic Blonde; Trance; The Last King of Scotland; Filth; Gnomeo & Juliet; Muppets Most Wanted; Penelope; Becoming Jane; Starter for 10; My Son; Future BMT: Victor Frankenstein; Sherlock Gnomes; BMT: Glass; X-Men: Dark Phoenix; Notes: He was pretty good in Split, although I didn’t care for the little kid character. Scottish, and a bit amazing he’s never been nominated for an Academy Award at least.)

Bruce Willis – ( Known For: Pulp Fiction; The Fifth Element; Split; Sin City; The Sixth Sense; Moonrise Kingdom; Die Hard; Alpha Dog; Unbreakable; 12 Monkeys; The Expendables; Over the Hedge; Assassin; Wrong Place; Looper; RED; Paradise City; Planet Terror; The Last Boy Scout; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Future BMT: Tears of the Sun; The Cold Light of Day; The Jackal; Blind Date; Hostage; Surrogates; Striking Distance; Loaded Weapon 1; Last Man Standing; Cop Out; Look Who’s Talking Too; Sunset; The Story of Us; Rugrats Go Wild; Billy Bathgate; Rock the Kasbah; BMT: G.I. Joe: Retaliation; Armageddon; Glass; Death Wish; Color of Night; A Good Day to Die Hard; The Bonfire of the Vanities; Perfect Stranger; Hudson Hawk; Mercury Rising; North; The Whole Ten Yards; Notes: Sadly retired from acting due to, effectively, dementia which caused aphasia. His last few years of multiple horrible films was basically him making a little bit of money for his family prior to revealing the diagnosis.)

Samuel L. Jackson – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Pulp Fiction; Avengers: Infinity War; Goodfellas; Kingsman: The Secret Service; Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; A Time to Kill; Inglourious Basterds; Jurassic Park; Django Unchained; Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith; Iron Man; The Avengers; Captain America: The First Avenger; Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones; The Hateful Eight; Oldboy; The Incredibles; Thor; Future BMT: The Legend of Tarzan; Spiral; Star Wars: The Clone Wars; Rules of Engagement; Life Itself; Sphere; The Spirit; Basic; Loaded Weapon 1; Formula 51; One Eight Seven; The Man; Fluke; Amos & Andrew; Strictly Business; Freedomland; BMT: Glass; Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Jumper; Shaft; xXx: State of the Union; Twisted; Notes: Incredibly prolific. Obviously smashed out an incredible run in the MCU, and now has a new TV show there as well.)

Budget/Gross – $20,000,000 / Domestic: $111,048,468 (Worldwide: $246,999,039)

(That is really good. Ever since M. Night paired up with Blumhouse he’s been making bank because I think he basically puts up the whole $20 million himself and gets like all the profit.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 37% (149/408): Glass displays a few glimmers of M. Night Shyamalan at his twisty world-building best, but ultimately disappoints as the conclusion to the writer-director’s long-gestating trilogy.

(Yeah, basically. But films that are this close to not qualifying are usually either boring or good. I guess we’ll see.)

NY Times Short Review: In his enjoyable, messy sequel to “Unbreakable” and “Split,” Shyamalan joins together three adversaries in a world of ordinary terrors.

Poster – Glass Smash

(This is unfortunately just OK. I like the different colors and the artistic qualities I’m seeing, but it looks a little like when a TV has motion smoothing on. And look at that font. Horrible. Just do better, cause I like the ideas. B-.)

Tagline(s) – None (F)

(I don’t see a real tagline on the poster, which is where I like to get my taglines. IMDb does have a whole bunch listed though, so they must have been used somewhere. Just not here.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), … and many more

Best Options (Horror): 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 64.7 The Grudge 2 (2006), 64.5 Darkness Falls (2003), 63.6 Valentine (2001), 61.2 A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), 59.9 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 58.7 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 55.2 Annabelle (2014), 50.7 Saw 3D (2010), 50.5 Halloween Kills (2021), 49.3 The Omen (2006), 48.5 White Noise (2005), 40.9 Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010), 40.4 Gothika (2003), 36.9 The Amityville Horror (2005), 36.5 Hide and Seek (2005), 33.2 House of 1000 Corpses (2003), 27.8 Dark Shadows (2012), 27.7 Saw III (2006), 25.7 Idle Hands (1999), 23.9 The Uninvited (2009), 19.2 Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013), 17.0 Saw II (2005), 16.9 Glass (2019)

(Oh hell yeah, we picked the last one. The reason is because we were already watching a bunch of M. Night films. So … there we are. We almost watched Prom Night.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Bruce Willis is No. 2 billed in Glass and No. 1 billed in Armageddon, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 3 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 13. If we were to watch The Jackal, Nights in Rodanthe, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – Samuel L. Jackson said of working with James McAvoy on the movie, “As good as I like to think I am or what I do and how I do it, watching somebody transform characters in front of your eyes and have an argument with four different people is pretty amazing.”

Director M. Night Shyamalan was able to incorporate unseen footage from Unbreakable (2000) into this film, for flashback scenes involving the younger versions of David and Joseph.

Although Disney owns the rights to Unbreakable (2000), director M. Night Shyamalan retained the rights to any potential sequels, so that the studio could not make one without his involvement. Such was his desire for creative control that he co-financed this film by mortgaging his house.

Director M. Night Shyamalan talked about the importance of colors in this movie, saying, “I chose green for David Dunn because psychologically, it is associated with life giving properties. David is the protector of life. I chose ochre or mustard for The Beast because this color is associated with religious ceremonies, Hindu and Buddhist. A monk’s robe. I see The Beast as an evangelist, a preacher who wants to help save ‘The Broken.’ Finally, I chose purple for Mr. Glass because this color has been associated with royalty, majestic qualities. Elijah sees himself as important, a main character of comics.”

Director M. Night Shyamalan said that the original cut of the film had a run time of nearly three and a half hours. He “trimmed it up a bit” by cutting three of Kevin Crumb’s 23 personalities out of the film.

The original script for Unbreakable (2000) included Kevin as an emerging villain for David to face against, but director M. Night Shyamalan could never make it work within the confines of a single movie. Thus, Kevin ended up being Split (2016) off into his own movie, with this film as the culmination of the original idea.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Bruce Willis, 2019)

Wrath of the Titans Preview

“Why are we still here?” asks Jamie, a dark pall hanging over his features. “Because,” Michael explains, “you are meant to reconnect with people. Kevin James connects with people. If you understand that then we can leave. Beep boop” Patrick scoffs. “I think the answer to that starts with a ‘D’ and ends with an ‘uh.’ We aren’t total idiots, we know Paul Blart was a sensation.” They get up to leave. “Is that so?” Michael robot scoffs right back at them, “Then why did you spend,” he pauses, a mechanical whirring sound intensifying as he performs a quick numerical calculation, “1,146 words talking about Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 on BadMovieTwins.com and conclude, and I quote, ‘it’s trash.’ Beep boop?” This robot is asking for another punch to its robot chest. Jamie and Patrick clench their fists, but eventually sit back down. When he’s right, he’s right… and also they installed a titanium plate over his chest in the rebuild. Their fists would likely splinter in a cloud of pink mist if they attempted a similar punch a second time. They turn their attention back at the stage where Kevin James has launched into his third (and hopefully final) impression of who he calls Itch and Blow: The Dope-elgangers. The crowd is loving it. “Look at my abs! Look at my greasy abs!” Kevin James is screaming and the crowd wails. “Oh man, my balls are itchy,” he continues as Itch. The crowd gobbles it up. Jamie and Patrick grit their teeth and laugh along with the crowd. Whatever it takes to satisfy Michael. It’s working until Kevin James looks at them again and mouths “You stink, Bad Movie Twins.” That’s it! “Let’s pound some dweebs,” they say in unison, getting up from their chairs. That’s right! It’s a double this week with Clash of the Titans and Wrath of the Titans. If you wondered what Sam Worthington used his Avatar cache on, well… it was this. Let’s go!

Wrath of the Titans (2012) – BMeTric: 44.5; Notability: 65

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 10.4%; Notability: top 2.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.8%; Higher BMeT: Piranha 3DD, The Devil Inside, LOL, Paranormal Activity 4, The Apparition, Smiley, ATM, Chernobyl Diaries, The Cold Light of Day, The ABCs of Death, Dark Tide, Alex Cross, Resident Evil: Retribution, So Undercover, Red Dawn, Aftershock, Lay the Favorite, One for the Money, About Cherry, Madea’s Witness Protection, and 6 more; Higher Notability: Battleship, Dark Shadows, Ice Age: Continental Drift, This Means War, Red Tails, Total Recall; Lower RT: A Thousand Words, Dark Tide, One for the Money, The Apparition, The Cold Light of Day, Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike, Playing for Keeps, The Devil Inside, So Undercover, Fire with Fire, The Babymakers, Breaking the Girls, Alex Cross, Piranha 3DD, ATM, Gone, House at the End of the Street, Meeting Evil, LOL, About Cherry, and 25 more; Notes: Wow, the drop in the notability is startling. I suppose they really cut down on the gods and goddesses which is where a lot of the big names hung out for the two scene cameos in the first.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Maybe it was the three exploding mountains too many. Or the dozen surplus fireballs. Or too much noise. “Wrath of the Titans” relentlessly wore me down with special effects so overscale compared to the characters in the film that at times the only thing to do was grin. The characters, to be sure, are gods and not humans, but they are human-sized gods. Give it a moment’s thought: What chance does your average muscular god have against the grinding stones of a labyrinth as large as a volcano?

(Yeah here we go. The first was good for what it is. But then this is average for what it is, which means bad. The logic checks out.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jEWLCZA7R8/

(I distinctly enjoy the lack of a heavy metal soundtrack. Looks bigger and noisier and still pretty rad.)

Directors – Jonathan Liebesman – ( Known For: The Killing Room; Future BMT: Darkness Falls; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning; Wrath of the Titans; Battle Los Angeles; Notes: And he was an executive producer on Doolitte. South African. He directed 4 episodes of the Halo television series.)

Writers – Dan Mazeau – ( Known For: Fast X; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Has a Van Helsing script in development.)

David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick – ( Known For: Orphan; Aquaman; Orphan: First Kill; The Conjuring 2; The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Red Riding Hood; Notes: Has both the sequel to Aquaman and the fourth Conjuring film on the docket.)

Greg Berlanti – ( Known For: The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy; Future BMT: Green Lantern; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for The Flight Attendant and Political Animals. At this point he appears to develop all of the DC live-action television work.)

Beverley Cross – ( Known For: Clash of the Titans; Jason and the Argonauts; Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger; The Long Ships; Genghis Khan; Half a Sixpence; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Wait … is this based on part of the first movie or something. What an odd credit. Man, I really should have watched the original movie. Then I would know these things.)

Actors – Sam Worthington – ( Known For: Simulant; Avatar: The Way of Water; Avatar; Hacksaw Ridge; Everest; Fractured; Last Night; Rogue; Cake; The Titan; Lansky; The Debt; The Last Son; Texas Killing Fields; 9 Bullets; Hart’s War; The Keeping Room; The Hunter’s Prayer; Kidnapping Mr. Heineken; Paper Planes; Future BMT: Terminator Salvation; The Shack; Man on a Ledge; The Great Raid; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Wrath of the Titans; Sabotage; Notes: Again, you know Sam Worthington. Apparently he got so ripped for Avatar and Terminator: Salvation it changes his character in these films from somewhat slender to ultra-ripped.)

Liam Neeson – ( Known For: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Schindler’s List; The Dark Knight Rises; Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Batman Begins; Love Actually; The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; Gangs of New York; Taken; Excalibur; The Lego Movie; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; The A-Team; Widows; The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian; Silence; Run All Night; Ted 2; Future BMT: Marlowe; Kingdom of Heaven; Men in Black: International; The Marksman; Krull; Taken 3; A Million Ways to Die in the West; Taken 2; Entourage; The Huntsman: Winter’s War; Daddy’s Home 2; High Spirits; The Nut Job; Before and After; BMT: Battleship; Memory; Clash of the Titans; Blacklight; The Haunting; Wrath of the Titans; Notes: He has eight films on the docket including the sequel to Ice Road. You ever see Ice Road? It’s bananas.)

Rosamund Pike – ( Known For: Pride & Prejudice; Gone Girl; Jack Reacher; The World’s End; Hostiles; I Care a Lot; The Informer; Die Another Day; Fracture; Return to Sender; An Education; The Big Year; What We Did on Our Holiday; The Man with the Iron Heart; Beirut; A Private War; Radioactive; Hector and the Search for Happiness; A United Kingdom; A Long Way Down; Future BMT: 7 Days in Entebbe; Surrogates; Johnny English Reborn; The Libertine; BMT: Doom; Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Notably is starring in the Wheel of Time television show on Amazon. Nominated for an Oscar for Gone Girl.)

Budget/Gross – $150,000,000 / Domestic: $83,670,083 (Worldwide: $301,970,083)

(Yeah, so this is more of a disaster. I honestly find this a bit odd. They cut down the cast quite dramatically, so why did the budget go up again? Seems like a bad idea.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (46/176): Its 3D effects are an improvement over its predecessor’s, but in nearly every other respect, Wrath of the Titans fails to improve upon the stilted acting, wooden dialogue, and chaos-driven plot of the franchise’s first installment.

(Yes, yes, yes … wait why did Ebert think the first was better. I’m joking. Having watched both the first is way better than the second, and the fact that critics failed to recognize that outside of Ebert I think is not super great.)

NY Times Short Review: In this sequel to the 2010 “Clash of the Titans” remake, Zeus asks his demigod son for help, as the battle for supremacy between the gods and the Titans goes on.

Poster – Wrath of the Tight Twins

(This looks markedly worse than the first one even though it’s essentially the same. I’m not sure why. I can kind of smell the stench of garbage wafting off of it. C-.)

Tagline(s) – Feel the Wrath (D-)

(Boooooooo.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.4 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), … (and many more)

Best Options (Action): 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 56.8 Land of the Lost (2009), 48.2 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008), 47.8 Men in Black: International (2019), 44.6 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), 44.5 Wrath of the Titans (2012), 44.0 Allegiant (2016), 41.2 Clash of the Titans (2010), 40.9 Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010), 40.6 The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013), 37.8 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 36.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016), 34.3 Van Helsing (2004), 34.2 The Tourist (2010), 34.1 Taken 3 (2014), 33.4 Sahara (2005), 32.3 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991), 31.1 Justice League (2017), 30.3 The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016), 29.4 Waist Deep (2006), 27.9 Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), 27.8 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 27.7 Dracula Untold (2014), 27.6 Rush Hour 3 (2007), 27.3 Antitrust (2001), 27.0 War (2007), 25.6 Pokémon: The First Movie – Mewtwo Strikes Back (1998), 24.8 Terminator Genisys (2015), 24.6 King Arthur (2004), 22.0 Now You See Me 2 (2016), 21.7 Let’s Be Cops (2014), 21.0 Act of Valor (2012), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 19.4 Kick-Ass 2 (2013), 17.0 Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010), 16.9 Eagle Eye (2008), 16.7 Tears of the Sun (2003), 14.8 The Matrix Revolutions (2003), 14.8 Angels & Demons (2009), 12.8 The Island (2005), 9.3 Underworld (2003), 6.6 Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

(Don’t worry, we’ll hit up all three TMNT films soon enough …)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sam Worthington is No. 1 billed in Wrath of the Titans and No. 1 billed in Clash of the Titans, which also stars Gemma Arterton (No. 2 billed) who is in Runner Runner (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 14. If we were to watch Marlowe we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – The movie takes place 10 years after the previous one.

Gemma Arterton was originally supposed to return, but scheduling conflicts with Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) prevented that. Her character was written out, rather than being re-cast, as Andromeda was.

Hephaestus converses with Bubo, the mechanical owl from Clash of the Titans (1981).

Bill Nighy, who plays Hephaestus, when recognizing Perseus, says “Release the Kraken”. Nighy plays “Davy Jones” in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006) and says the same thing.

In preparation for her role as Andromeda, Rosamund Pike was instructed by director Jonathan Liebesman to study Mel Gibson’s William Wallace in Braveheart (1995), not fellow Bond girl Sophie Marceau’s Princess Isabelle as she’d naturally, though wrongly, anticipated.

Contenders for the role of Andromeda were Hayley Atwell, Georgina Haig, Janet Montgomery, Dominique McElligott, and Clémence Poésy. The role was previously portrayed in Clash of the Titans (2010) by Alexa Davalos, who turned down an offer to reprise it.

Javier Bardem was considered for the role of Ares, and James Franco was considered to play Agenor.

Rosamund Pike replaced Alexa Davalos from Clash of the Titans (2010) as Andromeda.

Sent to the cinemas under code name “Torn Between”.

The sound the Minotaur makes is a recording of the grunt of an elephant. It also happens to be the very same sound effect used for the Minotaur-boss in Hercules (1997) .

A sequel for the film, titled “Revenge of the Titans” was in production, and the plot would have involved the resurrection of the gods. However, it was later scrapped, due to the poor reception of this film.

Clash of the Titans (2010) Preview

“Why are we still here?” asks Jamie, a dark pall hanging over his features. “Because,” Michael explains, “you are meant to reconnect with people. Kevin James connects with people. If you understand that then we can leave. Beep boop” Patrick scoffs. “I think the answer to that starts with a ‘D’ and ends with an ‘uh.’ We aren’t total idiots, we know Paul Blart was a sensation.” They get up to leave. “Is that so?” Michael robot scoffs right back at them, “Then why did you spend,” he pauses, a mechanical whirring sound intensifying as he performs a quick numerical calculation, “1,146 words talking about Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 on BadMovieTwins.com and conclude, and I quote, ‘it’s trash.’ Beep boop?” This robot is asking for another punch to its robot chest. Jamie and Patrick clench their fists, but eventually sit back down. When he’s right, he’s right… and also they installed a titanium plate over his chest in the rebuild. Their fists would likely splinter in a cloud of pink mist if they attempted a similar punch a second time. They turn their attention back at the stage where Kevin James has launched into his third (and hopefully final) impression of who he calls Itch and Blow: The Dope-elgangers. The crowd is loving it. “Look at my abs! Look at my greasy abs!” Kevin James is screaming and the crowd wails. “Oh man, my balls are itchy,” he continues as Itch. The crowd gobbles it up. Jamie and Patrick grit their teeth and laugh along with the crowd. Whatever it takes to satisfy Michael. It’s working until Kevin James looks at them again and mouths “You stink, Bad Movie Twins.” That’s it! “Let’s pound some dweebs,” they say in unison, getting up from their chairs. That’s right! It’s a double this week with Clash of the Titans and Wrath of the Titans. If you wondered what Sam Worthington used his Avatar cache on, well… it was this. Let’s go!

Clash of the Titans (2010) – BMeTric: 41.2; Notability: 110

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 15.2%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 23.8%; Higher BMeT: The Last Airbender, Vampires Suck, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Skyline, Sex and the City 2, Furry Vengeance, Jonah Hex, Marmaduke, Gulliver’s Travels, Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, Yogi Bear, Tekken, My Soul to Take, Tooth Fairy, Legion, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Passion Play, The Back-up Plan, Why Did I Get Married Too?, Killers, and 18 more; Lower RT: Tekken, Passion Play, Twelve, 6 Souls, Shanghai, Vampires Suck, Dylan Dog: Dead of Night, The Last Airbender, The Tortured, Waiting for Forever, 13, Furry Vengeance, Crazy on the Outside, Saw 3D, Marmaduke, Little Fockers, My Soul to Take, Killers, Grown Ups, Virginia, and 38 more; Notes: My god. A 100+ Notability. There can’t be very many of those we haven’t seen. Although we do tend to avoid the barely-qualifying big boys in general. Case in point: Justice League, coming up.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – There are too many Greek gods for me to keep straight, since as a child I didn’t have action figures as a learning tool. I was prepared to take notes during “Clash of the Titans” but only wrote down a single one: “Release the Kraken!” — Conan O’Brien. I know I was intended to be terrified by the release of the Kraken, but all I could think of was O’Brien shouting “Release the bear!” and then some guy in a bear suit runs out and sits on the lap of a guest. In this case, the Kraken is the nuclear option for Zeus, who has been persuaded by Hades to put down a revolt by the upstart mortals of Argos.

(Genuinely good review. I think that makes sense. The first is an adaptation of a good movie, and an adaptation of a real myth. It really depends on how much you can tolerate CGI nonsense. And at this point Ebert happily tolerated a bunch of that.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfyunOnMGqM/

(Possibly the most iconic line in trailer history? Which is bizarre to think about. Anyways, it looks rad, but I hate the heavy metal soundtrack. Hate hate hate it.)

Directors – Louis Leterrier – ( Known For: Fast X; The Incredible Hulk; Now You See Me; The Transporter; Transporter 2; Unleashed; The Takedown; Future BMT: The Brothers Grimsby; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Notes: Won an Emmy for The Dark Crystal television show. And as you can see, in the news now since he is the director of Fast X.)

Writers – Travis Beacham – ( Known For: Pacific Rim; Pacific Rim: Uprising; Dog Days of Summer; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Notes: Mostly has been writing for TV recently, specifically Carnival Row.)

Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi – ( Known For: The Invitation; Destroyer; Crazy/Beautiful; BMT: Clash of the Titans; R.I.P.D.; Æon Flux; Ride Along; The Tuxedo; Ride Along 2; Notes: Also mostly television writers now, although in this case on a show I’ve never heard of, The Mysterious Benedict Society.)

Beverley Cross – ( Known For: Clash of the Titans; Jason and the Argonauts; Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger; The Long Ships; Genghis Khan; Half a Sixpence; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Nominated for several Tony Awards in 1965 for Half a Sixpence. Wrote the original Clash of the Titans, and was married to Maggie Smith.)

Actors – Sam Worthington – ( Known For: Simulant; Avatar: The Way of Water; Avatar; Hacksaw Ridge; Everest; Fractured; Last Night; Rogue; Cake; The Titan; Lansky; The Debt; The Last Son; Texas Killing Fields; 9 Bullets; Hart’s War; The Keeping Room; The Hunter’s Prayer; Kidnapping Mr. Heineken; Paper Planes; Future BMT: Terminator Salvation; The Shack; Man on a Ledge; The Great Raid; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Wrath of the Titans; Sabotage; Notes: Y’all know Sam Worthington … wait do you? He’s Australian, and an ultimate “that guy.” Seemed like he was going to be a big star, and then ended up “merely” being the somewhat faceless star of the Avatar series.)

Liam Neeson – ( Known For: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Schindler’s List; The Dark Knight Rises; Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Batman Begins; Love Actually; The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; Gangs of New York; Taken; Excalibur; The Lego Movie; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; The A-Team; Widows; The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian; Silence; Run All Night; Ted 2; Future BMT: Marlowe; Kingdom of Heaven; Men in Black: International; The Marksman; Krull; Taken 3; A Million Ways to Die in the West; Taken 2; Entourage; The Huntsman: Winter’s War; Daddy’s Home 2; High Spirits; The Nut Job; Before and After; BMT: Battleship; Memory; Clash of the Titans; Blacklight; The Haunting; Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Now, you definitely know Liam Neeson. Makes a bunch of garbage now, but … no wait, he’s always made garbage. Check out his 80s and 90s. It is bonkers. He’s Irish. Nominated for an Oscar for Schindler’s List.)

Ralph Fiennes – ( Known For: The Menu; Schindler’s List; The Grand Budapest Hotel; No Time to Die; The King’s Man; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2; The Hurt Locker; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1; In Bruges; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; Red Dragon; Skyfall; Spectre; The Reader; Official Secrets; The Forgiven; The Lego Batman Movie; The English Patient; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Future BMT: Maid in Manhattan; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Dolittle; Wrath of the Titans; The Avengers; Holmes & Watson; Notes: Nominated for two Oscars (Schindler’s List and The English Patient). He’s English and you best believe he’s related to Hero Fiennes Tiffin (his nephew).)

Budget/Gross – $125,000,000 / Domestic: $163,214,888 (Worldwide: $493,214,993)

(That’s a solid haul. It would probably be considered a huge disaster now for dumb reasons, but at the time I’m sure getting to around half a billion and with home video sales it was a solid take.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 27% (72/266): An obviously affectionate remake of the 1981 original, Louis Leterrier’s Clash of the Titans doesn’t offer enough visual thrills to offset the deficiencies of its script.

(I mean, some people would disagree, namely Roger Ebert, ever head of him? Having watched it, the CGI is actually quite good with one exception which is the giant scorpions which look like trash.)

NY Times Short Review: A remake of a 1981 film features swords, sandals and monsters, this time around in 3-D.

Poster – Clash of the Tight Twins

(Too bland. But good font and honestly it would have been a crime if they didn’t make a poster like this following the success of 300. Would have been gross negligence. B.)

Tagline(s) – The Clash Begins 2.4.2010 (F)

(Booooooooooooooo.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.4 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005),… (and many more)

Best Options (Action): 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 56.8 Land of the Lost (2009), 48.2 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008), 47.8 Men in Black: International (2019), 44.6 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), 44.5 Wrath of the Titans (2012), 44.0 Allegiant (2016), 41.2 Clash of the Titans (2010), 40.9 Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010), 40.6 The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013), 37.8 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 36.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016), 34.3 Van Helsing (2004), 34.2 The Tourist (2010), 34.1 Taken 3 (2014), 33.4 Sahara (2005), 32.3 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991), 31.1 Justice League (2017), 30.3 The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016), 29.4 Waist Deep (2006), 27.9 Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), 27.8 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 27.7 Dracula Untold (2014), 27.6 Rush Hour 3 (2007), 27.3 Antitrust (2001), 27.0 War (2007), 25.6 Pokémon: The First Movie – Mewtwo Strikes Back (1998), 24.8 Terminator Genisys (2015), 24.6 King Arthur (2004), 22.0 Now You See Me 2 (2016), 21.7 Let’s Be Cops (2014), 21.0 Act of Valor (2012), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 19.4 Kick-Ass 2 (2013), 17.0 Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010), 16.9 Eagle Eye (2008), 16.7 Tears of the Sun (2003), 14.8 The Matrix Revolutions (2003), 14.8 Angels & Demons (2009), 12.8 The Island (2005), 9.3 Underworld (2003), 6.6 Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

(We went for a two-fer here. Totally worth it, even after my brain melted at hour four of this CGI nonsense.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Gemma Arterton is No. 2 billed in Clash of the Titans and No. 2 billed in Runner Runner, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 12. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Emma Thompson almost made an accidental uncredited cameo in this movie while visiting friend Liam Neeson on the set. Thompson, who’d been filming Nanny McPhee Returns (2010) in an adjacent studio, went to visit Neeson during a break, just as Neeson was about to shoot a scene with Ralph Fiennes and Danny Huston. Unable to exit the set fast enough as the cameras began to roll, Thompson, in her clumsy Nanny McPhee costume, had to hide behind Huston’s throne during the take so she would not be picked up by the cameras.

The language of Djinn is actually Arabic.

The word Kraken (sea monster) is Norwegian/Swedish, not Greek. Early script drafts considered changing it to its Hebrew counterpart Leviathan (famous from the Bible hymn of Job 41). It was changed back to Kraken as a tribute to the original Clash of the Titans (1981) tagline “Release the Kraken!” Surprisingly, the creature’s Greek name, Cetus, was never considered.

Sam Worthington’s sandals are Nike Trainers with toes painted on them. He didn’t wear sandals because he needed shoes to perform the stunts well.

In Greek mythology, Io is Perseus’ great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother, and an old flame of his father Zeus.

Although Greek mythology contains different versions of the story of Perseus, the film deviates from all of them in some parts. Perseus supposedly flew to an island using winged sandals he borrowed from Hermes, and Medusa was only one of three Gorgons (i.e. half-woman half snake creatures with serpents for hair, the other two were called Stheno and Euryale).

The mechanical owl Bubo, from Clash of the Titans (1981), has a cameo as the toy Perseus picks up before he leaves on his quest. According to the filmmakers, the cameo was widely debated as to whether to keep it in the film, or not. It was eventually decided to keep it in the film, to please the fans of the original film.

Originally, Perseus was envisioned as being more of a young slender man. Louis Leterrier had watched Sam Worthington in the film Somersault (2004), and thought that he would be ideal, and was therefore somewhat taken aback when he met Worthington. The actor had bulked up considerably for his roles in Avatar (2009) and Terminator Salvation (2009).

The Stygian Witches were actually played by men.

The volcano scenes were shot at the Dinorwic Slate Quarry in Wales. This is a famous location, used for fantasies like Willow (1988) and Street Fighter (1994).

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls Preview

Jamie and Patrick look around the dance hall in downtown Lebanon, Kansas. People are dosadoing and promenading all the while staring in confusion at their jorts and leather vests. “Remind us again why we’re here? I thought we were gonna feel the rhythm take hold of our hearts… dance for our lives… what a feeling,” Jamie says, annoyed. Michael nods, “Yes, beep boop, The Dudikoffs want you to reconnect with the people. A beautiful artistic experimental dance is one thing. A people-pleasing, flashy dance is another. Time works differently in the catacombs. Beep boop.” Before embarking they had reassembled Michael, but not all the kinks were worked out yet. Jamie leans in close to Patrick’s ear to whisper something even Michael’s robot ears couldn’t hear. “Let’s blow this joint. Why not just go back to NYC and finish the Platonic Solids Series?” Patrick tended to agree. His neck had been itching for the feel of his cable knit sweater. Just as they turn to leave, though, an announcement rings out over the sound system. “Ladies and gentleman, start your engines because our special guest is here to show you how it’s done. ‘It’ is comedy. ‘It’ is sex appeal. ‘It’ is close-up magic. ‘He’ is three time Teen Choice Award nominee, one time People’s Choice Nominee, and current host of smash hit America is Very Good… Kevin James!” The crowd goes bananas. Kevin James emerges from a nearby restroom, grabs a microphone, and alerts all the attendees of the event that they should not go in there, implying that he destroyed the toilet. The crowd is laughing so hard that several of them faint. Jamie and Patrick turn around to find Kevin James staring directly at them from the stage mouthing the words “fuck you, Bad Movie Twins.” That’s right! Every once in a while you have to pick up a classic and this is one of those times. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls was a smash hit, both financially and in our hearts. Let’s go!

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) – BMeTric: 21.9; Notability: 41

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 21.6%; Notability: top 12.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 16.3%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Vampire in Brooklyn, Fair Game, Showgirls, Jury Duty, Batman Forever, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Congo, Theodore Rex, The Babysitter, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh, Judge Dredd, Nine Months, The Scarlet Letter, Johnny Mnemonic, Virtuosity, and 34 more; Higher Notability: Batman Forever, Congo, Judge Dredd, Cutthroat Island, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, Virtuosity, Showgirls, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Four Rooms, Money Train, Panther, Jefferson in Paris, Jade, Assassins, Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead, Hackers, Canadian Bacon, Just Cause, Nine Months, Dangerous Minds, and 10 more; Lower RT: The Big Green, Jury Duty, National Lampoon’s Senior Trip, Theodore Rex, Delta of Venus, Born to Be Wild, The Walking Dead, Top Dog, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, The Hunted, It Takes Two, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, Bushwhacked, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Fair Game, Canadian Bacon, Vampire in Brooklyn, The Scarlet Letter, Four Rooms, and 18 more; Notes: A bit higher notability than I would have expected (given the somewhat limited cast). When are we watching Under Siege 2?

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Sloppy assemblage of gags (with most of the good ones near the beginning) ostensibly about Ace’s anti-p.c. hijinks with battling African tribes while trying to locate a rare white bat. Clever opening spoof of Cliffhanger and a funny sight gag involving asparagus; otherwise, more of the same.

(Pretty much nails it. He gave the first 2 stars as well which I think is fair. Basically there the complaint was Carrey wouldn’t and couldn’t stop. That is very fair. The first is almost bursting at the seams trying to contain Carrey within a script not written for him. This one I think at least is written to accommodate his outlandish behavior.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfqPjRMsRP0/

(The trailer is pretty good because it tells you almost nothing about the story. The only issue I could have is displaying two of the more solid jokes (the asparagus gag, and the spears in the legs). Solid overall. I remember this trailer so vividly for the music.)

Directors – Steve Oedekerk – ( Future BMT: Barnyard; Kung Pow: Enter the Fist; Nothing to Lose; BMT: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Notes: Wait … nominated for an Oscar? That’s right, he was nominated for Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius in 2002. Some might recognize him as the star of Kung Pow: Enter the First.)

Writers – Jack Bernstein – ( Known For: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective; BMT: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Notes: Mostly a television producing including 70 episodes of Royal Pains.)

Steve Oedekerk – ( Known For: Bruce Almighty; Cowboys & Aliens; The Nutty Professor; Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius; High Strung; Future BMT: Evan Almighty; Patch Adams; Barnyard; Kung Pow: Enter the Fist; Nothing to Lose; BMT: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Notes: He really lived off of that Jimmy Neutron gig for a while. Over 50 episodes of the television series, and then 20 more of a spinoff.)

Actors – Jim Carrey – ( Known For: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; The Truman Show; Sonic the Hedgehog 2; The Bad Batch; Sonic the Hedgehog; The Mask; Liar Liar; Dumb and Dumber; Ace Ventura: Pet Detective; Bruce Almighty; A Series of Unfortunate Events; Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues; Me, Myself & Irene; Horton Hears a Who!; The Cable Guy; How the Grinch Stole Christmas; Yes Man; Peggy Sue Got Married; Earth Girls Are Easy; The Dead Pool; Future BMT: Kick-Ass 2; Dumb and Dumber To; Fun with Dick and Jane; Once Bitten; The Incredible Burt Wonderstone; Pink Cadillac; BMT: Batman Forever; The Number 23; Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Notes: I looked this up after, but he really never had a big downturn in his career as I had thought. Only somewhat recently did he take some time off before getting the Robotnik role in Sonic.)

Ian McNeice – ( Known For: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; Valkyrie; Top Secret!; From Hell; No Escape; Valmont; Oliver Twist; Grizzly II: Revenge; A Life Less Ordinary; 84 Charing Cross Road; The Russia House; The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain; The Man Who Invented Christmas; Blackball; Personal Services; The Body; Funny Bones; The Cherry Orchard; The Fourth Angel; Whoops Apocalypse; Future BMT: The Black Dahlia; White Noise; The Beautician and the Beast; Year of the Comet; BMT: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Around the World in 80 Days; Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason; Town & Country; Notes: Oddly his three children live in Africa, but this doesn’t seem to be connected to this movie somehow.)

Simon Callow – ( Known For: Amadeus; Notting Hill; A Room with a View; Four Weddings and a Funeral; Shakespeare in Love; James and the Giant Peach; Maurice; Howards End; Postcards from the Edge; Victoria & Abdul; Mindhorn; Arn: The Knight Templar; No Man’s Land; Viceroy’s House; Late Bloomers; Thunderpants; Blue Iguana; Hampstead; Bright Young Things; The Man Who Invented Christmas; Future BMT: The Phantom of the Opera; Street Fighter; BMT: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Notes: Apparently he is an Orson Welles expert and biography.)

Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $108,385,533 (Worldwide: $212,385,533)

(I mean that is huge. I think Carrey was at a weird point in his career where this was his first sequel. Because he didn’t really do another one until the Dumb and Dumber sequel many years later.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 21% (6/28): Nature Calls in this Ace Ventura sequel, and it’s answered by the law of diminishing returns.

(Many of the complaints appear to be that Carrey is meaner in this film than the first, which I also think is correct. Again, the original was written without a solid grasp of the character who was written more as a zany take on noir detectives in general. In this they were grasping around trying to decide who this character was actually supposed to be.)

NY Times Short Review: Pet detective and sacred white bat. Sloppy, cheerfully gross sequel.

Poster – Ace Ventura: When Nature Sklogs

(It’s a classic. If the Ace Ventura 2 poster was a criminal that I was describing to a sketch artist it would have been caught in ten minutes. It’s not perfect or really artistic in any way, but nice font and that outfit is absolutely outrageous. B-)

Tagline(s) – New Animals. New Adventures. Same Hair (C-)

(Was the hair what everyone remembered most vividly from the first film? I guess maybe, although I never thought of it that way. This is a nicely constructed tagline, but boy is it lame.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.2 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.4 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.5 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), …

Best Options (Comedy): 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.2 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 63.7 The Dukes of Hazzard (2005), 62.2 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 61.5 Scooby-Doo (2002), 60.8 Like a Boss (2020), 60.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 60.6 Meet Dave (2008), 60.4 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 58.7 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 57.5 Maid in Manhattan (2002), 57.2 The Wedding Planner (2001), 56.9 Hanging Up (2000), 56.8 Land of the Lost (2009), 55.3 The Back-up Plan (2010), 55.0 Evan Almighty (2007), 54.5 The Smurfs 2 (2013), 54.0 The Smurfs (2011), 53.9 Annie (2014), 53.1 Aloha (2015), 52.6 Just My Luck (2006), 52.1 Loser (2000), 52.0 Malibu’s Most Wanted (2003), 51.7 View from the Top (2003), 51.5 Scary Movie 3 (2003), 51.4 Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000), 51.0 Little Fockers (2010), 50.9 Couples Retreat (2009), 50.7 Racing Stripes (2005), 50.6 Eight Crazy Nights (2002), …

(Yeah there are too many really to list. Originally we were going to do Dumb and Dumberer but then we botched it. But Ace Ventura 2 is secretly amazing so I’m not too worked up about it.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jim Carrey is No. 1 billed in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls and No. 1 billed in The Number 23, which also stars Virginia Madsen (No. 2 billed) who is in Firewall (No. 3 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 14. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – When driving to the consulate for the first time, Jim Carrey forgot his lines, so instead started singing the theme from the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Both actors stayed in character and the director loved it so they kept it in.

According to Simon Callow, Jim Carrey didn’t really want to make the film, which made on-set experiences awkward.

According to Jeff Daniels, Jim Carrey had explained to him the reasons why he didn’t like the sequel much. He disliked the whole “Ace is afraid of bats” angle, as he found it to be cheap, and even fought with the director about changing the script so that Ace was merely allergic to bats. Carrey was also very nervous about the film’s depiction of the native characters, and that people might take offense to them. He’s even surprised the film hasn’t been outright banned.

Jim Carrey spent a lot of time off sick, which affected the contract of actor Simon Callow. Callow’s contract had actually expired before he could finish filming his scenes. Despite this, he wasn’t paid overtime as Carrey’s illness was regarded as an “Act of God” in the contract. Which Carrey himself claims as “unfair”. Since Callow already had other commitments in London, the producers suggest he flew back regularly in first-class, as the contract had stated. It wasn’t until later that Callow found out that the producers were deducting the cost of his plane tickets from his overall salary. In his words he “finished up working almost for nothing”.

Despite Jim Carrey only doing this movie due to contractual obligation, the studio attempted to get him interested in doing another Ace Ventura movie several times throughout the years to which he declined.

Jim Carrey was paid $15 million to reprise the part of Ace Ventura, exactly half of the film’s $30 million budget. It was actually the film’s writer and Carrey’s friend Steve Oedekerk who suggested he’d negotiate with Morgan Creek Productions for this. Conveniently, Oedekerk himself became the film’s director, who then finalized this decision.

Up until Dumb and Dumber To (2014), this was the only sequel to a Jim Carrey film to actually feature Carrey, Likewise none of the actors with the exception of Carrey return from the first film.

Jim Carrey said that after doing this movie he realized he could not spend his entire life doing Ace Ventura movies. Writer/director Steve Oedekerk felt the same way, and also moved onto other projects.

The language used by the Wachootoo chief and in Ouda’s Wachootoo translation is isiXhosa, an Nguni language spoken in South Africa. IsiXhosa is the native language of Nelson Mandela and Miriam Makeba a.k.a. Mama Africa. The Xhosa people (amaXhosa) make up the second largest ethnic group in South Africa after their close relatives the Zulus (amaZulu).

Flashdance Preview

Just as it appears that Jamie and Patrick are going to do battle they transition into a patented Double Twin Punch directly into Michael’s chest. His chest bursts open, showering them in a multitude of springs and other mechanical doodads. A slow clap rings through the emptiness of the catacombs. “Brilliant,” says Drake Dudikoff. His brother, Charlie, smiles broadly at his side. “We knew you were the ones, we just never imagined you would do it so quickly,” Charlie remarks. “What was it? Was it how closely our story paralleled that of Citizen Kane? The dreams of youth, and loss of innocence associated with the loss of our brother Michael, driving us to ruin in our ambition?” His eyes shine. Jamie and Patrick smirk. “Your story is Toys, my man,” Jamie says wryly. “Dreams of youth… loss of innocence… Michael is a classic Alsatia Zevo. Which of course means The Gutes is…” Another slow clap rings out revealing The Gutes, “LL Cool G himself. It told you these guys were legit,” The Gutes says. Charlie and Drake nod their heads in agreement, “Join us, Movie Twins, and learn what it is you seek. You yearn to know what is good? Then we shall teach you. You want to take your knowledge and help the world? This is where it happens. Look at what we built from our pain and suffering,” they say pointing at the remains of Michael, “Years of painstaking construction from our favorite Ferrari Testarossa which you destroyed with one punch. Think of all the other things you can punch… with your minds.” Jamie and Patrick agree. Point them in the direction of good and their brains will punch it. “Alright,” Drake says, “hope you guys brought your jorts.” That’s right! We are transitioning to the dance club to listen to some sweet tunes and some dope beats. We’re real cool and real rad and we know what the people want. Flashdance! Let’s go!

Flashdance (1983) – BMeTric: 26.2; Notability: 58

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.4%; Notability: top 1.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.3%; Higher BMeT: Jaws 3-D, Superman III, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3, Staying Alive, Amityville 3-D, Curse of the Pink Panther, Porky’s II: The Next Day, Hercules, Two of a Kind, Deal of the Century, Doctor Detroit, Stroker Ace, Still Smokin, Spring Break, Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, The Final Terror, D.C. Cab, Grizzly II: Revenge, The Sting II, Krull, and 1 more; Higher Notability: Superman III, Curse of the Pink Panther, Krull, Deal of the Century; Lower RT: Staying Alive, The Sting II, Nate and Hayes, The Lonely Lady, Grizzly II: Revenge, The Survivors, Porky’s II: The Next Day, Still Smokin, Jaws 3-D, Deal of the Century, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3, Two of a Kind, D.C. Cab, Amityville 3-D, Stroker Ace, Spring Break, The Black Stallion Returns, Hercules, Class, Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, and 9 more; Notes: The Notability is off the chain there. But so is Krull! I guess a big part of Krull is it has a huge cast (including Liam Neeson) of people who became famous maybe. Still seems insane.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – “Flashdance” is like a movie that won a free 90-minute shopping spree in the Hollywood supermarket. The director (Adrian Lynn, of the much better “Foxes”) and his collaborators race crazily down the aisles, grabbing a piece of “Saturday Night Fever,” a slice of “Urban Cowboy,” a quart of “Marty” and a 2-pound box of “Archie Bunker’s Place.” The result is great sound and flashdance, signifying nothing. But Jennifer Beals shouldn’t feel bad. She is a natural talent, she is fresh and engaging here, and only needs to find an agent with a natural talent for turning down scripts.

(I mean, some high praise there, but an interesting take. I guess you are really slammed in the early 80s for being “derivative” when I think something like this in the 90s appears to border on ironic? Hard to tell. Exciting nonetheless.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9GJ9AWE9M4/

(That is a risque trailer for the 80s I feel like. A good trailer though. Makes me want to watch some dancing.)

Directors – Adrian Lyne – ( Known For: Lolita; Deep Water; Fatal Attraction; Unfaithful; Jacob’s Ladder; 9½ Weeks; Foxes; Future BMT: Indecent Proposal; BMT: Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Indecent Proposal in 1994; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Fatal Attraction. Deep Water was supposed to be the return of the Erotic Thriller. Instead people maybe just realized that the genre is too weird to resurrect.)

Writers – Thomas Hedley Jr. – ( Known For: Obsession; Hard to Hold; Double Negative; Mr. Patman; Future BMT: Fighting Back; BMT: Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Flashdance in 1984; Notes: He maybe retired only a few years later? He basically only gets mentioned when people need to try and get the rights to Flashdance.)

Joe Eszterhas – ( Known For: Basic Instinct; Jagged Edge; Music Box; F.I.S.T.; An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn; Telling Lies in America; Big Shots; Hearts of Fire; Szabadság, szerelem; Checking Out; Future BMT: Showgirls; Nowhere to Run; Betrayed; BMT: Flashdance; Sliver; Basic Instinct 2; Jade; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay, Worst Supporting Actor, Worst New Star, and Worst Original Song for An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn in 1999; Winner for Worst Screenplay for Showgirls in 1996; Winner for Worst New Star for Ringmaster in 1999; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 1984 for Flashdance; in 1994 for Sliver; and in 1996 for Jade; Notes: Famously wrote a ton of erotic thrillers and the legendarily bad Burn Hollywood Burn: An Alan Smithee Film. Was nominated for the National Book Award in 1975.)

Actors – Jennifer Beals – ( Known For: My Bodyguard; Luckiest Girl Alive; Vampire’s Kiss; Runaway Jury; The Book of Eli; Four Rooms; Before I Fall; Devil in a Blue Dress; The Last Days of Disco; Manhattan Night; The Thief and the Cobbler; The Anniversary Party; Roger Dodger; In the Soup; Full Out; Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle; Dear Diary; Queen to Play; The Twilight of the Golds; The Search for One-eye Jimmy; Future BMT: The Grudge 2; Catch That Kid; The Bride; BMT: After; Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress for The Bride in 1986; Notes: This started her career and since then she’s done a ton of television including some Star Wars, The L Word, and recently The L Word spinoff.)

Michael Nouri – ( Known For: The Proposal; The Terminal; The Squeeze; Finding Forrester; Invincible; Woman Walks Ahead; Last Holiday; The Hidden; Captain America; Goodbye, Columbus; To the Limit; Con Man; Beyond the Trek; Lovely & Amazing; Alex & The List; American Yakuza; Boynton Beach Club; Any Day Now; High Roller: The Stu Ungar Story; Gangster Wars; Future BMT: GoBots: Battle of the Rock Lords; BMT: Flashdance; Notes: Young and the Restless, The O.C., All My Children. The man is a soap legend. He sung the theme for Search for Tomorrow.)

Lilia Skala – ( Known For: Ship of Fools; Testament; Charly; House of Games; Lilies of the Field; Caprice; Heartland; Men of Respect; Call Me Madam; Deadly Hero; Roseland; Man braucht kein Geld; BMT: Flashdance; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Lilies of the Field. She’s from Austria.)

Budget/Gross – $7 million / Domestic: $92,921,203 (Worldwide: $92,921,203)

(Wowza, that’s a box office smash! The rights must be totally f-ed because there is little alternative explanation as to why there wouldn’t have been a remake or sequel.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (17/49): All style and very little substance, Flashdance boasts eye-catching dance sequences — and benefits from an appealing performance from Jennifer Beals — but its narrative is flat-footed.

(Oh boo hoo. The film about dancing has a bland story? Footloose baby! The power of a good soundtrack and an appealing lead. Just let it flow is what I say.)

New York Times Short Review: Thin plot but marvelous footwork.

Poster – Flashpants

(I like how people are like “no, no, Flashdance was not selling sex. It was selling the dreams of a young girl who just wanted to dance.” Right, that’s definitely what I’m getting from this poster. It’s OK, the film can be great and also sell itself on being steamy, even in a PG-13 kind of way. Not the best poster, but iconic. I grade it an I for iconic.)

Tagline(s) – What a feeling. (A+)

Something happens when she hears the music…it’s her freedom. It’s her fire. It’s her life. (B+)

(That second one is great if they didn’t add the front part to it. What a feeling is also pretty great from an advertising angle. You can almost feel like girls and boys alike would see this poster and then have their pulse race a little when they are told “what a feeling.” It’s not an A+ on its merits, but like the poster as a whole it’s an A+ in execution.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.1 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 72.0 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.7 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.7 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.6 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.1 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.4 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 48.0 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.8 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Mac and Me (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Poltergeist III (1988), Cool World (1992), Wild Orchid (1989), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Sliver (1993), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Blame It on Rio (1984), Days of Thunder (1990), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), Flashdance (1983), The Cannonball Run (1981), Tango & Cash (1989), Stone Cold (1991), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (wisdom): 26.2 Flashdance (1983), 12.8 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

(Top choice. In reality a huge reason to pick Flashdance was it was standalone. Because you know I would be watching Home Alone again, and we’d at least have to consider Home Alone 3 (which I believe, somehow, qualifies). And thus ends The One and Only cycle, the biggest data analysis BMT has ever done.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 32) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Malcolm Danare is No. 11 billed in Flashdance and No. 11 billed in Godzilla, which also stars Jean Reno (No. 2 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 5 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (11 + 11) + (2 + 5) + (1 + 2) = 32. If we were to watch Staying Alive, Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 18.

Notes – Jennifer Beals’ trend-setting collarless sweatshirt came about by accident. The sweatshirt, which Beals brought from home, had shrunk in the wash and she had to cut the collar off in order to get it over her head. When director Adrian Lyne and costume designer Michael Kaplan saw it at the wardrobe fitting, they both loved it and Kaplan improved the overall look of the sweatshirt for the actual shoot.

Based on the life of construction worker/welder-turned-dancer Maureen Marder.

Marine Jahan was Jennifer Beals’ body double for the dancing scenes. Jahan was kept hidden from the press because the filmmakers did not want to ruin the illusion. Alex’s leap through the air in the audition scene was done by gymnast Sharon Shapiro and the break-dancing was done by Crazy Legs. Jahan appeared in the music video for “Maniac”.

In 1982, Maureen Marder, whose life the film loosely is based on, signed an agreement with Paramount releasing it from any claim regarding her life story. In return she received a check for $2,300. The movie later took in an estimated $200 million worldwide.

The traffic cop who Alex mimics to a tune from Bizet’s Carmen is famous in Pittsburgh. His name is Vic Cianca, and he was well known for his “choreography,” directing traffic in Pittsburgh for over 30 years. He was known as the “Nureyev of the Intersection,” a moniker bestowed on him by Phil Musick of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

In the early years of home video, Paramount tried an experiment in which this film was given a heavily promoted home video release while the film was still playing in some cinemas. The box office was expected to drop off to nothing as soon as the tape became available for rental. Instead, the heavy promotion caused an increase in box office receipts.

Joe Esposito recorded the vocals to the original version of Flashdance … What A Feeling. Producer Don Simpson and Adrienne Lynn decided that since the lead character was a female, the song needed to be sung by a female. They hired Irene Cara to perform the song at the last minute. She re-wrote the original lyrics while riding in a car to the recording studio the day she recorded the song, and wound up winning an Oscar for her performance.

Michael Sembello had intended that the rhythm of “Maniac” be too fast to dance to.

This is the the first film to become a smash hit largely due to MTV. The opening weekend box office receipts were about $6 million, but the soundtrack immediately became a best-seller in the U.S. The film’s music producers and credited artists worked very quickly to film videos for songs such as “What a Feeling” and “Maniac” to get them on MTV. Younger viewers sustained the film’s run well beyond what was then expected for films that were released outside of the summer or winter holidays, were rated R, or didn’t have major stars involved. The movie took in an estimated $200 million worldwide.

The soundtrack to the movie sold 700,000 copies in its first two weeks of release.

Awards – Winner for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Giorgio Moroder, Keith Forsey, Irene Cara, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Cinematography (Donald Peterman, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Film Editing (Bud S. Smith, Walt Mulconery, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Michael Sembello, Dennis Matkosky, 1984)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Thomas Hedley Jr., Joe Eszterhas, 1984)

Supergirl Preview

“You best move out of the way, Michael,” Jamie says, limbering up for a classic Twin Tussle. He shakes his arms out wildly and does a few splits to loosen up his hips. Meanwhile Patrick just stands there like a statue, the smirk frozen on his face, eyes glazed over like doll’s eyes. He has withdrawn deep within himself, a meditative state that he enters just before he engages in great violence. Michael attempts to play peacekeeper. He recognizes the danger that these two opposing forces represent. Great kinetic energy coming into contact with immense potential energy. Like a lit match and a stick of dynamite. “Gentlemen, please, can’t you see we are on the same side. You have been chosen for a great responsibility and no matter how much you want to pretend you are a couple of cowboys, a couple of wild cards, a couple of rock and roll detectives, you know in your hearts that you are Jamie and Patrick, in search of something bigger than the next bad movie that comes across your path.” Michael steps between them, his voice now shaking with emotion. “You are meant to find this treasure and learn a great truth about yourselves. A great truth that you can bring out into the world. A great truth that you have been heading towards ever since you started this story. The story of the bad movie twins, which is no longer the story of the bad movie twins. It’s just your story… together.” Jamie stares at Michael in astonishment and begins to nod his head. “Yeah,” he begins, “yeah, that’s real dumb. I’m not doing that.” He turns back to Patrick, still frozen in place. “Prepare to meet my two friends,” Jamie says, kissing his fists, “Supergirl and The Punisher.” That’s right! We are venturing back into the superhero world with the last Superman movie we have to do. Supergirl! What’s that? It’s not the last Superman film we have to do? That can’t be right. Haven’t we already done a thousand of them? Anyway, we are pairing that with the Dolph Lundgren vehicle The Punisher, which much like the Fantastic Four film we watched appears to be some kind of financial scheme. Let’s go!

Supergirl (1984) – BMeTric: 72.1; Notability: 60

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.0%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.1%; Higher Notability: Cannonball Run II; Lower RT: Bolero, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Reckless, Thief of Hearts, Exterminator 2, Until September, Crackers, Ghoulies, Blame It on Rio; Notes: Pretty insane stuff there. 50+ Notability in 1985. 70+ BMeTric, which is exceedingly rare. Highest BMeTric of 1984, and we saw the higher Notability too. I love it when we can hit some of these big boys.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The appearance of “Supergirl,” so soon after “Superman III,” is an indication that the producers of the “Superman” movies have forgotten, if they ever consciously knew it, the real secret of the movies. We do not go to “Superman” and “Supergirl” movies to laugh condescendingly at the characters (which is what the writers, directors, and even some of the actors have started to do). We go to recapture some of the lost innocence of the whole notion of superheroes. The gift of Christopher Reeve, in his best scenes and when the filmmakers allow it, is to play Superman without laughing, to take him seriously so that we can have some innocent escapist fun. Helen Slater has the same gift, but is given even less chance to exercise it in “Supergirl,” and the result is an unhappy, unfunny, unexciting movie. Why even go to the trouble of making a movie that feels like it’s laughing at itself?

(Uh oh Roger Ebert … you must be rolling in your grave. Because there is nary an action film today which isn’t quite often turned into a (pretty bad) action comedy. And I suppose the two notable exceptions in recent memory in Top Gun: Maverick and Avatar: The Way of Water ended up working. So maybe Ebert was onto something there.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=608EbBVkiTI/

(Wowza the voice at the end sounds awful. Silly shit though. Looks like it could be fun just by virtue of being so silly … although I also know that the film is over 2 hours which is absurd.)

Directors – Jeannot Szwarc – ( Known For: Jaws 2; Somewhere in Time; Bug; Enigma; Extreme Close-Up; Hercule & Sherlock; The Sun Sisters; Honor Bound; La vengeance d’une blonde; BMT: Supergirl; Santa Claus: The Movie; Notes: Born in France, raised in Argentina. Got Jaws 2 because of an episode of Night Gallery he directed.)

Writers – David Odell – ( Known For: The Dark Crystal; Cry Uncle; Dealing: Or the Berkeley-to-Boston Forty-Brick Lost-Bag Blues; Running Scared; Foreplay; Future BMT: Nate and Hayes; BMT: Masters of the Universe; Supergirl; Notes: Obviously a big Muppets guy given that he wrote The Dark Crystal. Woman an Emmy for The Muppet Show.)

Actors – Helen Slater – ( Known For: City Slickers; The Legend of Billie Jean; The Secret of My Success; Ruthless People; Lassie; The Steal; No Way Back; Happy Together; Seeing Other People; The Curse of Downers Grove; A House in the Hills; Sticky Fingers; Betrayal of the Dove; Beautiful Wave; Echo Park; BMT: Supergirl; Notes: Ended up acting in the recent Supergirl television series. Mostly television work over the years including a starring turn in The Lying Game.)

Faye Dunaway – ( Known For: Bonnie and Clyde; Chinatown; Network; The Handmaid’s Tale; The Thomas Crown Affair; The Towering Inferno; Three Days of the Condor; The Rules of Attraction; The Three Musketeers; The Man Who Drew God; The Thomas Crown Affair; Mommie Dearest; Little Big Man; Don Juan DeMarco; The Two Jakes; The Case for Christ; The Arrangement; Barfly; Arizona Dream; Inconceivable; Future BMT: The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc; Dunston Checks In; The Temp; BMT: Supergirl; The Bye Bye Man; The Chamber; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actress in 1982 for Mommie Dearest, and Tarzan the Ape Man; Winner for Worst Supporting Actress for The Temp in 1994; Nominee for Worst Actress in 1981 for The First Deadly Sin; in 1984 for The Wicked Lady; and in 1985 for Supergirl; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress in 1997 for Dunston Checks In, and The Chamber; and in 1998 for Albino Alligator; and Nominee for Worst Actress of the Decade in 1990 for Mommie Dearest, Supergirl, The First Deadly Sin, and The Wicked Lady; Notes: Won the Oscar for Network in addition to being nominated two other times (Chinatown and Bonnie and Clyde). Has always done film over the years, although her last major film was probably the BMT classic The Bye Bye Man.)

Peter O’Toole – ( Known For: Troy; Ratatouille; Caligula; Stardust; Lawrence of Arabia; The Last Emperor; Casino Royale; The Lion in Winter; The Bible: In the Beginning…; How to Steal a Million; Becket; What’s New Pussycat; The Stunt Man; FairyTale: A True Story; My Favorite Year; The Ruling Class; Zulu Dawn; Man of La Mancha; Bright Young Things; Venus; Future BMT: King Ralph; One Night with the King; High Spirits; Club Paradise; For Greater Glory: The True Story of Cristiada; Creator; The Nutcracker Prince; BMT: Supergirl; Phantoms; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Supergirl in 1985; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Club Paradise in 1987; Notes: Died in 2013. Famously nominated for 8 Oscars without winning one, including for Lawrence of Arabia (his first nomination). Was awards an honorary Oscar in 2003.)

Budget/Gross – $35 million / Domestic: $14,296,438 (Worldwide: $14,296,438)

(That is no good. I suppose they really did think they were going to get the full Superman haul with the spinoff. Didn’t work out.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 8% (3/36): The effects are cheesy and Supergirl’s wide-eyed, cheery heroine simply isn’t interesting to watch for an hour and a half.

(Awwww. But yeah, that seems quite bad. Want to hear something odd? The New York Times was marking this film with a star up until maybe 1996. So prior to that they were basically recommending the film. So an apparently rare recommend from them for the film.)

New York Times Short Review: Pale supercousin to you-know-who. Flashy, colorful fun.

Poster – Super 18-year-old

(I don’t mind it, although I feel like they felt like they were being super smart by having her fly around the statue of liberty. From one super girl to another or something, which kinda tells you everything you need to know about the movie. A little old fashioned, but has some depth and font and artistry. B-.)

Tagline(s) – Her first great adventure. (D)

(Oh sweet summer child. Outside of the somewhat amusing irony, this is too generic to count for much.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (superhero): 72.1 Supergirl (1984), 41.6 Sheena (1984)

(I had to add it into the superhero option since Supergirl and Citizen Kane only played on the same date (that I could find) on March 15, 1986 which wasn’t in my original 90s exclusive set. Sheena is a weird option. And obviously The Punisher (1989) works, but it doesn’t qualify, it came out in too few theaters.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Peter O’Toole is No. 3 billed in Supergirl and No. 2 billed in Phantoms, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (3 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – The film’s opening credits cost almost $1 million to shoot.

Marc McClure (Jimmy Olsen) is the only actor to reprise his role from any of the “Superman” films.

Almost 85% of the film was shot on giant sound stages at Pinewood Studios.

The original script had Supergirl trying to rescue Superman, who had fallen ill due to Selena’s magic.

The film was intended to be the first in a series. Its lack of box-office success ended those plans.

Helen Slater had to train three hours a day for three months to do the outdoor flying sequences, where she was suspended by wires from a 200-foot tower crane.

The film was completed by Warner Brothers. After Superman III (1983) had underperformed, the studio decided not to release it. Tri-Star Pictures, a subsidiary of Sony Pictures, picked it up, and cut it from 126 minutes to 105. That being said, the original 126 minute cut was used for foreign theatrical releases, dubbed the International cut. Warner eventually regained full rights to the film and finally released it on DVD in 2006 in its international cut.

Peter Cook would later complain of Faye Dunaway’s diva behavior on this film and her constant lack of punctuality resulting in delays. At one point the producers even considered replacing her with Anjelica Huston or Jane Fonda.

John Williams’s theme for Superman (1978) appears briefly in Jerry Goldsmith’s score.

Brooke Shields was the first choice for the role of Supergirl, but was turned down because of her 6’0″ height.

Film debut of Helen Slater. Many years later, Slater would later appear in three episodes of Smallville (2001), playing Lara, the Kryptonian mother of Kal-El/Clark Kent, and then get a recurring role in Supergirl (2015) as Supergirl’s adoptive mother, Eliza Danvers.

Dolly Parton was offered $7 million to take the role of Selena, but she turned it down, claiming that she couldn’t play a witch, no matter how much money was offered. Jane Fonda and Goldie Hawn also turned the role down.

The scenes in which the monster tractor destroys the town took 22 consecutive days to shoot.

With a total domestic gross of $14 million, this movie made the least money of all the films in the Superman series, just behind Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) which made $15 million.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Peter O’Toole, 1985)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Faye Dunaway, 1985)

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane Preview

Jamie sighs as they turn another corner in the catacombs. “Time works differently…” Michael begins before Jamie tunes him out. If they had known that the only other member of the Ultra-Hard Party was Michael he probably would have passed on the task, Gutes or no Gutes. Particularly if he knew the first stop was the catacombs. But when he turns to mention how lame the catacombs are to Patrick he is surprised to see a slight smirk on his face. Is he enjoying himself? “Are you enjoying yourself?” Jamie asks incredulously. Patrick smirks even deeper. Jamie stops and shoves him “Yo, look at Circus Smirkus over here. You smirking up a storm while we wander the catacombs like a couple of dopes? Don’t you see,” he says, eyes wild, tapping his temple furiously, “this is all a ruse. A way to get us down here while they draft up Steve Guttenberg’s expulsion papers.” If you could see Patrick’s face you would have said it was impossible he could smirk any deeper. He was, in that moment, the Michael Jordan of smirking. But just then… if you can believe it… he smirked ever so slightly more. “Gahhhhhh,” Jamie yells, the noise careening off the walls of the super lame catacombs. “That’s it!” Jamie says finger dangerously close to Patrick’s smirk, “You don’t smirk at me like that unless we’re both smirking. Both smirking about something clever we did. But does it look like I’m smirking? Well, does it punk?” Michael is bewildered and scared. “Boys, boys, please, we’re almost there, I assure you.” But Jamie is too far gone. “Oh we’re not going any further with you, Michael, we’re heading up to save Gutes. But first let me wipe that smirk off Sir Smirks-a-lot’s face over there. Rock and roll.” That’s right! We are taking on The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (the rock and roll detective) in the first entry of Brary Bros. Just a couple guys talking the ‘brary (the library that is) and enjoying the fruits of a functioning society that allows for the communal sharing of knowledge. Oh we don’t have The Adventures of Ford Fairlane in our library network? No prob, cause it was available in our extensive network of Brary Bros. The world is our oyster. Library! Let’s go!

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990) – BMeTric: 18.1; Notability: 61

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 18.8%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 12.3%; Higher BMeT: Captain America, Look Who’s Talking Too, Rocky V, The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter, Ghost Dad, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Graveyard Shift, Soultaker, Problem Child, Fire Birds, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Navy Seals, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Loose Cannons, RoboCop 2, Ernest Goes to Jail, Death Warrant, Desperate Hours, Hard to Kill, Air America, and 27 more; Higher Notability: RoboCop 2, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Predator 2, Days of Thunder, Jetsons: The Movie; Lower RT: Problem Child, Graveyard Shift, Death Warrant, Madhouse, Loose Cannons, Funny About Love, Soultaker, Ghost Dad, Spaced Invaders, Fire Birds, Meet the Applegates, Where the Heart Is, Heart Condition, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Ernest Goes to Jail, Opportunity Knocks, Captain America, Air America, Look Who’s Talking Too, Everybody Wins, and 9 more; Notes: Wait wait wait wait … this film has a 50+ Notability? How? This creates so many more questions than I had prior to generating this email.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” is a movie about a hero I didn’t like, chasing villains I didn’t hate, in a plot I didn’t understand. It is also loud, ugly and mean-spirited. That makes it the ideal vehicle for Andrew Dice Clay, a comedian whose humor is based upon hating those not in the room for the entertainment of those present. … If he wants a future in the movies, Andrew Dice Clay is going to have to play somebody other than himself.

(This sounds just about right. He was a comedian with a schtick, and they made a movie about his schtick, and it didn’t work as a movie or a comedy or anything.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1s3pfSsjWw/

(Seems really annoying and unfunny. Which makes sense. I’ve always heard his comedy is really annoying and unfunny.)

Directors – Renny Harlin – ( Known For: Deep Blue Sea; The Long Kiss Goodnight; Cliffhanger; Die Hard 2; The Misfits; A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; Devil’s Pass; Skiptrace; Cleaner; Prison; 5 Days of War; Born American; Legend of the Ancient Sword; Class Reunion 3; Bodies at Rest; Future BMT: Exorcist: The Beginning; 12 Rounds; BMT: The Covenant; Cutthroat Island; The Legend of Hercules; Mindhunters; Driven; The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director in 1991 for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; in 1996 for Cutthroat Island; in 2002 for Driven; in 2005 for Exorcist: The Beginning; in 2015 for The Legend of Hercules; and in 2022 for The Misfits; Notes: Notably Finnish. Also notably was the original director of Alien 3 prior to leaving right before filming started resulting in the directorial debut of David Fincher.)

Writers – Daniel Waters – ( Known For: Heathers; Batman Returns; Sex and Death 101; Happy Campers; BMT: Demolition Man; Vampire Academy; Hudson Hawk; The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay in 1991 for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; and in 1992 for Hudson Hawk; Notes: Apparently owns the house Orson Welles died in?)

James Cappe – ( BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane in 1991; Notes: A writer on both the Mortal Combat and Poltergeist live action television series.)

David Arnott – ( Future BMT: Last Action Hero; BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane in 1991; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Last Action Hero in 1994; Notes: Kind of interesting in that both this and Last Action Hero are somewhat known for the breaking of the fourth wall and specifically skewer the music and movie industries in LA.)

Rex Weiner – ( BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Notes: Apparently the movie is based on a book. Or more precisely Weiner was a reporter for Variety and these were a series of noir-ish stories he wrote that were adapted.)

Actors – Andrew Dice Clay – ( Known For: A Star Is Born; Pretty in Pink; Blue Jasmine; Private Resort; Amazon Women on the Moon; Night Patrol; Making the Grade; My 5 Wives; Wacko; Foolish; No Contest; Future BMT: Entourage; Jury Duty; Casual Sex?; One Night at McCool’s; BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane in 1991; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Actor for Dice Rules in 1992; Notes: Hickory. Dickory. Doc. Known for his odd comedic character, dirty nursery rhymes, and strange acting trajectory. Was in 17 episodes of Crime Story, and this was his first major theatrical film.)

Lauren Holly – ( Known For: Spirited Away; Dumb and Dumber; What Women Want; Beautiful Girls; Any Given Sunday; Sabrina; The Blackcoat’s Daughter; Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story; Down Periscope; Seven Minutes in Heaven; How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town; The Chumscrubber; Field of Lost Shoes; In Enemy Hands; After the Ball; Tammy’s Always Dying; Live Wire; Chasing 3000; No Looking Back; The Final Storm; Future BMT: Band of the Hand; BMT: Crank: High Voltage; The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Turbulence; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress in 1998 for A Smile Like Yours, and Turbulence; Notes: Has been a major television actress forever, Picket Fences, Chicago Hope, NCIS. Dozens of episodes of each. You probably recognizer as the love interest in Dumb and Dumber.)

Wayne Newton – ( Known For: Ocean’s Eleven; Licence to Kill; The Dark Backward; Night of the Running Man; 80 Steps to Jonah; Future BMT: Smokin’ Aces; Vegas Vacation; Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil; Best of the Best II; BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Nominated for Worst Supporting Actor for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane in 1991; Notes: Known for his flawless signing voice and also looking insane in movies in the 90s. Somehow looks more normal now with his egg-smooth 80-year-old face.)

Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $21,413,502 (Worldwide: $21,413,502)

(Way more that I would have expected. I’m starting to suspect that the notability and the price are all part and parcel of getting fairly major musicians involved in the film.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (8/32)

(Oh I get to make a consensus: No fun as it pokes fun at women and promotes violence in a low brow bummer. Rotten Tomatoes, call me, that is a killer consensus.)

NY Times Short Review: Low-life private eye solves rock ‘n’ roll murder. 

Poster – The Badvetures of Baddie McFadden

(This is certainly laying it on the line. You like Andrew Dice Clay, this film has loads of it. I appreciate the font, and the sky coloring looks like a paiting, but most everything else is against the rules. Too much white on the poster in particular and the whole setup is old school.C-)

Tagline(s) – Kojak. Columbo. Dirty Harry. Wimps. (A-)

(I’d love to know how they arrived on these particular detectives… should have thrown in Robocop… he’s a god damn robot, so it would really be saying something if you called him a wimp. I do like this tagline quite a bit, even without Robocop. Nicely done.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (daddio): 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 40.8 Iron Eagle (1986), 35.5 Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984), 34.6 Leviathan (1989), 33.0 Mom and Dad Save the World (1992), 29.6 Spaced Invaders (1990), 25.8 Feds (1988), 24.1 Sibling Rivalry (1990), 20.7 Kickboxer (1989), 20.6 Mad City (1997), 18.0 The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), 17.7 Brewster’s Millions (1985), 17.6 Tai-Pan (1986), 16.6 Mr. Destiny (1990), 15.9 Opportunity Knocks (1990), 12.0 Only the Strong (1993), 2.0 The Five Heartbeats (1991)

(A lot of interesting options, but hitting up the rare Andrew Dice Clay starring vehicle from the brief moment he was bizarrely a star comic was just too good to pass up. Plus we got to flew a bit with the Brary Bros network.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Lauren Holly is No. 5 billed in The Adventures of Ford Fairlane and No. 2 billed in Turbulence, which also stars Ray Liotta (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (5 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 14. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Maddie Corman’s character is named “Zuzu Petals”, a reference to It’s a Wonderful Life (1946). In that movie, George Bailey’s daughter Zuzu brings home a flower she got at school and shows it to her father and complains that some of the petals are falling off and he puts them in his pocket. Later, when he “was never born,” he reaches into his pocket and Clarence the Angel says, “They’re not there.” “What?” asks George. “Zuzu’s petals.”

As with most films featuring a stand-up comic in the lead role, bits of Andrew Dice Clay’s routine are in the film. They include asking the two guys in the club “What’re names? Neil and Bob? Or is that like what you do?”, the blabbering noise he makes after the first time he leaves Johnny Crunch’s radio station, and referring to his genitals as “Stanley The Power Drill”.

Howard Stern auditioned for the role of Johnny Crunch at Andrew Dice Clay’s insistence. Stern insisted the character was written with him in mind, and he didn’t want to play himself, but he tried out for it anyway. It didn’t work out, and Gilbert Gottfried was selected.

Billy Idol was cast as Smiley, but had to pull out of the role after a nearly-fatal motorcycle accident. Renny Harlin personally asked Robert Englund, who had previously worked with him on A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988), to take over the role after Idol’s accident. Idol’s song “Cradle of Love” is playing when the fraternity sister takes Ford Fairlane and Zuzu Petals to her house.

Fairlane comments about being banned by MTV, which banned Andrew Dice Clay for life in 1988. The ban was lifted several years later.

In an interview in Movieline magazine, screenwriter Daniel Waters said that working with Andrew Dice Clay was “traumatic”. Waters was happy that Clay later said that “Bobby Rivers” wrote the movie.

This is Priscilla Presley’s only film outside of the “Naked Gun” trilogy.

Producer Joel Silver almost pulled the plug on this movie a few weeks before filming because he thought Andrew Dice Clay looked too fat.

The opening Black Plague concert was actually filmed at Red Rocks Amphitheatre in Denver, Colorado.

Renny Harlin used his own Ferrari in the beginning of the film as the car in which the blonde twins are picked up.

The main character was created by writer Rex Weiner, in a series of stories that were published as weekly serials from 1979 to 1980 by the New York Rocker and L.A. Weekly. The stories have since been published as The Original Adventures of Ford Fairlane.

At least three of the band names listed above feature references to earlier movies produced by Joel Silver: “Ellen Aim and the Attackers” is the band fronted by Diane Lane in Streets of Fire (1984), “Nakatomi Boys Choir” is a reference to Die Hard (1988), as the main location of that story was Nakatomi Plaza, and “Alba Varden” is the name of the South Africans’ vessel in Lethal Weapon 2 (1989).

In the original theatrical release, Ford’s toll free number was originally “1-800-PERFECT”. 1-800-UNBELIEVABLE was dubbed over for the video release, probably because 1-800-PERFECT contains seven letters, which would translate to an actual phone number. The video release has an obvious difference between “1-800” and “UNBELIEVABLE”, where it was dubbed over. The original number can be heard on the soundtrack, track nine, “Unbelievable” (which is sound clips from the movie set to music by Yello).

After many letters of protest from classic-car enthusiasts, the film’s production company said that an actual 1957 Ford Fairlane was not blown up in the explosion; it was a fiberglass replica body on a newer Ford chassis.

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Joel Silver, Steve Perry, 1991)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Andrew Dice Clay, 1991)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Daniel Waters, James Cappe, David Arnott, 1991)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Gilbert Gottfried, 1991)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Wayne Newton, 1991)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Renny Harlin, 1991)