Category: Preview

Firestarter (2022) Preview

“Wow, that was a really great memory,” Jamie says, wiping tears from his face. “It’s true, we had so many very good memories, but that was the most emotional and exciting of all of them,” Patrick agrees. They both wish other people could hear about the very good adventure they remembered, but alas, there is no one around to share the memory with. Suddenly they hear a familiar voice, “Hey, guys, do you need someone to share that very good memory with?” They whirl around and are stunned to see Kyle. “Kyle!” they exclaim in glee. “We’re so glad you’re here,” Patricks says, while Jamie nods his head vigorously, “there was a moment where we were concerned we were actually bad, but it turned out to be a false alarm.” They go to hug Kyle but he steps back, a look of concern on his face. “No really, share the good memory because the only thing I’ve seen from you lately is pretty gosh darn bad.” At that he pulls out his phone and shows them a viral meme of their Dino World temper tantrum. “They’re calling you the Tantrum Twins,” Kyle says solemnly. Jamie and Patrick hang their heads in shame, but also make a mental note to trademark Tantrum Twins, which is very marketable. “I don’t know what’s happening, Kyle,” Patrick admits, “It’s like we’re lost without our BMT true north. Being good is hard.” Kyle ponders this for a moment. “Well what made being bad so easy?” he poses. Jamie and Patrick look at each other, inspiration growing bright on their faces. “The rules! Rulez are coolz!” they say excitedly. “We just have to do the same thing, but for… good stuff… Good Movie Twins.” Patrick says, eyes gleaming. “Good Movie Twins,” Jamie whispers, “that’s fire.” That’s right! We are transitioning to a new year of BMT with “good” films. Oh ho, don’t get it twisted, these are still BMT films, just ones where the title suggests they could be good. We start off with the Firestarter twins, Firestarter (1984) and this year’s FIrestarter (2022). Both are not “fire” as the name suggests. Let’s go!

Firestarter (2022) – BMeTric: 63.9; Notability: 22

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 7.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.8%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Firestarter; Higher Notability: Black Adam, Jurassic World: Dominion, Pinocchio, Amsterdam, Morbius, Disenchanted, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, Spiderhead, Don’t Worry Darling, The 355, Where the Crawdads Sing, Blacklight, Slumberland, Samaritan, Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Lower RT: After Ever Happy, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Me Time, Poker Face, Blacklight; Notes: Yup, a huge BMeTric for the year. And will probably stay up there, it seems to be genuinely reviled.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – The Stephen King novel on which the new version of “Firestarter” is based was published in 1980 during a phase of the horror master’s career in which the writer seemed fascinated by kids with inexplicable powers. Charlie, played by Drew Barrymore in the 1984 film and Ryan Kiera Armstrong in this one, is cut from similar cloth as Danny from “The Shining” and the title character in “Carrie”—people who discover they’re not like normal kids. There’s nothing scarier than an out-of-control child. Trust me. King’s work would inspire generations—Elle in “Stranger Things” owes a great deal to Charlie, for one—which made a remake of this 40-year-old tale of pyromania inevitable. And yet, once again, inevitability doesn’t equal creativity. So often remakes feel more like contractual requirements than artistic explorations or updates of timeless themes. There is no better recent example of this than “Firestarter,” a film that goes through the motions with such apathetic predictability and pure cinematic laziness that you may want to set whatever device you’re watching it on ablaze.

(Uh oh, that sounds perhaps just a tad bit boring instead of horrible, no good, nonsense. Which I admit, is all I want really.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v_8ATW_3yI/

(An alternate ending!? And holy shit, they put “liar, liar, pants on fire” in the trailer! Just for that I’m giving this trailer an F. For shame. For shame.)

Directors – Keith Thomas – ( Known For: The Vigil; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: Has a degree in Religious Education which is interesting. Otherwise really nothing on him. He directed an episode of Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities.)

Writers – Stephen King – ( Known For: The Shawshank Redemption; Stand by Me; Mr. Harrigan’s Phone; The Green Mile; The Shining; It; The Mist; Doctor Sleep; Misery; Gerald’s Game; Carrie; It Chapter Two; The Running Man; Christine; Carrie; 1408; 1922; Pet Sematary; Dolores Claiborne; Cujo; Future BMT: The Dark Tower; Children of the Corn; Sleepwalkers; Creepshow 2; Thinner; Needful Things; The Mangler; Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice; BMT: Firestarter (2022); Firestarter (1984); Dreamcatcher; The Lawnmower Man; Maximum Overdrive; The Rage: Carrie 2; Graveyard Shift; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Maximum Overdrive in 1987; Notes: Ah a classic. I do need to read more of his books and I wish I could have read this prior to watching the films. He somewhat notably almost died in a car accident which completely changed how he approached writing (and life) if I recall and ended up with him starring in Dark Tower ultimately in a bizarre way. Something like that, I haven’t read those either.)

Scott Teems – ( Known For: The Quarry; That Evening Sun; Future BMT: Halloween Kills; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: Seems like a horror writer through and through, also has a credit in Halloween Kills.)

Actors – Zac Efron – ( Known For: The Greatest Showman; The Greatest Beer Run Ever; Hairspray; 17 Again; Neighbors; The Disaster Artist; Gold; Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile; The Beach Bum; The Lorax; Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising; The Paperboy; Scoob!; High School Musical 3: Senior Year; Liberal Arts; Parkland; Me and Orson Welles; At Any Price; The Derby Stallion; Melinda’s World; Future BMT: That Awkward Moment; Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates; The Lucky One; Charlie St. Cloud; We Are Your Friends; BMT: Baywatch; New Year’s Eve; Firestarter; Dirty Grandpa; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Baywatch in 2018; Notes: A Disney kid with High School Musical, which made him famous. I like him, although I can’t say his track record in recent years has been spotless. Very BMT-ful.)

Ryan Kiera Armstrong – ( Known For: Black Widow; The Tomorrow War; It Chapter Two; The Art of Racing in the Rain; The Glorias; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: Daughter of Dean Armstrong who is a legit actor. Was in Anne With An E.)

Sydney Lemmon – ( Known For: Tár; Velvet Buzzsaw; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: Has done mostly television work, although she was in Tar this year. The granddaughter of Jack Lemmon.)

Budget/Gross – $12 million / Domestic: $9,589,250 (Worldwide: $14,889,250)

(Ehhhhh, actually not as bad as you would expect because it was so cheap. Additionally, given it was on Netflix and is now I Prime I assume they are partially making their money optioning it.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (16/157): There was plenty of room to improve on the original, but Firestarter trips over that low bar and tumbles toward the bottom of the long list of Stephen King adaptations.

(Juuuuuust a shade over 10% which is too bad. I usually don’t go for smaller publications for the highlight, but this was decently funny.)

Reviewer Highlight: At least this one is mercifully short. – Radheyan Simonpillai, NOW Toronto

Poster – Firesklogger: It’s Fire

(Is it bad just cause it’s the same as the original? I say no. Still works. Orange color scheme pops and the font is delightfully different. Eye catching and gives you a taste. All around pretty good. I think the only suggestion would be to go a little more artistic. Newer posters can have a bit of an Instagram sheen sometimes. Going old school would have worked nicely. A-.)

Tagline(s) – None

(Booooo. F. Although I can also imagine if they did something dumb like “She’s fire” I would have been forced to give it an F-, so a win from that angle.)

Keyword(s) – year 2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), Bullet Train (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Adam Project (2022), The Northman (2022)

Future BMT: 65.8 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 50.5 Umma (2022), 45.9 The 355 (2022), 19.2 Black Adam (2022)

BMT: Firestarter (2022), Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Blacklight (2022), The Invitation (2022), After Ever Happy (2022), Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022), Memory (2022), The King’s Daughter (2022), Amsterdam (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022), Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

Best Options (good): 63.9 Firestarter (2022)

(A new cycle! We won’t be able to see that graph until next week though. This does complete our 2022 year. We watched 13 films, which is pretty good I think, although also the absolute minimum we can watch in a year. But better than last year, and puts us on a good footing for the future. I think Umma maybe, and Black Adam definitely are the only two we really missed out on.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Zac Efron is No. 2 billed in Firestarter and No. 1 billed in Dirty Grandpa, which also stars Robert De Niro (No. 2 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – John Carpenter, who did the music for this film, was set to direct the original Firestarter (1984), but was replaced when his previous film, The Thing (1982), failed at the box office. He would instead direct another Stephen King adaptation, Christine (1983).

Final film for Executive Producer Martha De Laurentiis, who died December 4, 2021. Her first film as a producer was the original Firestarter (1984), and she would go on to produce several other Stephen King adaptations with her husband, Dino De Laurentiis.

In the back alley when Charlie sees a stray cat there is a dumpster for the waste removal company “Joyland” referencing Stephen King’s book of the same name.

The beer that Irv offers Andy is labeled ‘Ayuh’, a northeastern phrase akin to ‘yep’ that is heavily present in the writing of Stephen King.

Ryan Kiera Armstrong previously appeared in It Chapter Two (2019), another Stephen King adaption.

Firestarter (1984) Preview

“Wow, that was a really great memory,” Jamie says, wiping tears from his face. “It’s true, we had so many very good memories, but that was the most emotional and exciting of all of them,” Patrick agrees. They both wish other people could hear about the very good adventure they remembered, but alas, there is no one around to share the memory with. Suddenly they hear a familiar voice, “Hey, guys, do you need someone to share that very good memory with?” They whirl around and are stunned to see Kyle. “Kyle!” they exclaim in glee. “We’re so glad you’re here,” Patricks says, while Jamie nods his head vigorously, “there was a moment where we were concerned we were actually bad, but it turned out to be a false alarm.” They go to hug Kyle but he steps back, a look of concern on his face. “No really, share the good memory because the only thing I’ve seen from you lately is pretty gosh darn bad.” At that he pulls out his phone and shows them a viral meme of their Dino World temper tantrum. “They’re calling you the Tantrum Twins,” Kyle says solemnly. Jamie and Patrick hang their heads in shame, but also make a mental note to trademark Tantrum Twins, which is very marketable. “I don’t know what’s happening, Kyle,” Patrick admits, “It’s like we’re lost without our BMT true north. Being good is hard.” Kyle ponders this for a moment. “Well what made being bad so easy?” he poses. Jamie and Patrick look at each other, inspiration growing bright on their faces. “The rules! Rulez are coolz!” they say excitedly. “We just have to do the same thing, but for… good stuff… Good Movie Twins.” Patrick says, eyes gleaming. “Good Movie Twins,” Jamie whispers, “that’s fire.” That’s right! We are transitioning to a new year of BMT with “good” films. Oh ho, don’t get it twisted, these are still BMT films, just ones where the title suggests they could be good. We start off with the Firestarter twins, Firestarter (1984) and this year’s FIrestarter (2022). Both are not “fire” as the name suggests. Let’s go!

Firestarter (1984) – BMeTric: 30.8; Notability: 34

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.4%; Notability: top 7.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.4%; Higher BMeT: Supergirl, Rhinestone, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Bolero, Cannonball Run II, Children of the Corn, Missing in Action, Sheena, City Heat, C.H.U.D., Conan the Destroyer, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, The Ice Pirates, Exterminator 2, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Protocol; Higher Notability: Cannonball Run II, Supergirl, City Heat, Protocol, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, The River, Unfaithfully Yours, Conan the Destroyer, The Woman in Red, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Firstborn, Sheena, Rhinestone, American Dreamer, The Ice Pirates, C.H.U.D., Reckless, Exterminator 2; Lower RT: Bolero, Reckless, Thief of Hearts, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Until September, Exterminator 2, Crackers, Blame It on Rio, Supergirl, Cannonball Run II, Windy City, The Ice Pirates, American Dreamer, Rhinestone, Missing in Action, Tank, Mutant, Purple Hearts, Sheena, City Heat, and 13 more; Notes: I had to look up Protocol, the film with just a slightly higher BMeTric … I had never heard of it. It looks crazy.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – “Firestarter” contains a little girl who can start fires with her mind; her father, whose own ESP causes him to have brain hemorrhages; an Indian child molester who is a CIA killer; a black scientist; a kindly farmer; a government bureaucrat; and a brilliant scientist whose experiments kill 75 percent of his subjects but leave the others with powers beyond the imagination of mortal man. The most astonishing thing in the movie, however, is how boring it is.

(Just to point out, I don’t think the killer is a child molester, although I could be wrong because it 100% reads that way. But at the end he suggests his odd quirks are similar to Renfield maybe? He wants to look into her eyes and kill her when she is at her happiest moment in order to, in his words, absorb her energy. It seems to be like he is fascinated by this girl’s supernatural powers and in his odd way hopes to take that power to the afterlife with him? Reading the wiki I think my reading is correct. Interesting that perhaps Ebert himself got that wrong, although as I said, he definitely reads like he is in love with Charlie.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfcuksWVRt8/

(Incredible that they showed a good chunk of the climactic scene in the trailer. These days I feel like they wouldn’t dare show off that big set piece for free. Not a chance.)

Directors – Mark L. Lester – ( Known For: Commando; Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw; Class of 1984; Stealing Candy; Showdown in Little Tokyo; Class of 1999; Poseidon Rex; Truck Stop Women; Roller Boogie; White Rush; Night of the Running Man; Pterodactyl; Betrayal; Extreme Justice; The Ex; Hitman’s Run; Steel Arena; Blowback; Stunts; Misbegotten; Future BMT: Armed and Dangerous; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: A big name producer and director, he’s somewhat slipped into semi-obscurity now as the end of his career was mostly producing and direction low-budget garbage.)

Writers – Stephen King – ( Known For: The Shawshank Redemption; Stand by Me; Mr. Harrigan’s Phone; The Green Mile; The Shining; It; The Mist; Doctor Sleep; Misery; Gerald’s Game; Carrie; It Chapter Two; The Running Man; Christine; Carrie; 1408; 1922; Pet Sematary; Dolores Claiborne; Cujo; Future BMT: The Dark Tower; Children of the Corn; Sleepwalkers; Creepshow 2; Thinner; Needful Things; The Mangler; Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice; BMT: Firestarter (2022); Firestarter (1984); Dreamcatcher; The Lawnmower Man; Maximum Overdrive; The Rage: Carrie 2; Graveyard Shift; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Maximum Overdrive in 1987; Notes: Y’all know Stephen King. He’s won the Bram Stoker Award 15 times, and the Hugo Award one for Danse Macabre, which is a non-fiction book about the art of and influences on horror writing.)

Stanley Mann – ( Known For: Eye of the Needle; Damien: Omen II; The Collector; Meteor; Woman of Straw; Theater of Blood; The Mouse That Roared; Circle of Iron; Another Time, Another Place; Breaking Point; A High Wind in Jamaica; Rapture; Sky Riders; The Strange Affair; The Mark; Hanna’s War; The Naked Runner; Russian Roulette; Up from the Beach; Future BMT: Tai-Pan; BMT: Conan the Destroyer; Firestarter; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for The Collector. He’s from Canada and died in 2016.)

Actors – Drew Barrymore – ( Known For: Scream; Scream; Donnie Darko; A Castle for Christmas; E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial; 50 First Dates; The Wedding Singer; Ever After: A Cinderella Story; He’s Just Not That Into You; Charlie’s Angels; Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle; Never Been Kissed; Titan A.E.; Poison Ivy; Confessions of a Dangerous Mind; Altered States; Music and Lyrics; Riding in Cars with Boys; Whip It; Everybody’s Fine; Future BMT: Bad Girls; Duplex; Mad Love; Lucky You; Home Fries; BMT: Batman Forever; Blended; Firestarter; Freddy Got Fingered; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress in 2004 for Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, and Duplex; and in 2015 for Blended; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for Freddy Got Fingered in 2002; Notes: She had an amazing career as both a bona fide child actor and a bona fide adult movie star. The granddaughter of John Barrymore. Hosts the Drew Barrymore Show which has filmed 273 episodes.)

David Keith – ( Known For: An Officer and a Gentleman; Daredevil; U-571; Men of Honor; The Indian in the Cupboard; The Rose; The Two Jakes; Gold Diggers: The Secret of Bear Mountain; The Great Santini; Brubaker; Raw Justice; Christian Mingle; A Family Thing; White of the Eye; Deadly Sins; Back Roads; Independence Day; The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck; Take This Job and Shove It; All Saints; Future BMT: Raise Your Voice; Major League II; Heartbreak Hotel; The Lords of Discipline; BMT: Firestarter; Behind Enemy Lines; Notes: Looks like he does small time television films these days. He should not be confused with Kieth David.)

Freddie Jones – ( Known For: Dune; The Elephant Man; Wild at Heart; Young Sherlock Holmes; The Black Cauldron; The NeverEnding Story III; Zulu Dawn; Old Dracula; Erik the Viking; Royal Deceit; Far from the Madding Crowd; Ladies in Lavender; Juggernaut; The Satanic Rites of Dracula; Kidnapped; The Ship Sails On; Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed; Consuming Passions; The Man Who Haunted Himself; In the Devil’s Garden; Future BMT: Krull; Firefox; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: He was Thufir Hawat in Dune. Otherwise you’d probably only know him if you are into British television. That’s right, he was definitely in Midsomer Murders.)

Budget/Gross – $12 million / Domestic: $17,080,167 (Worldwide: $17,080,167)

(My god, they had the same budget! That is hilarious. Obviously, $12 million in ‘84 was something else entirely compared to now, but still. Also amazing that the ‘84 film beat the 2022 in total worldwide gross by quite a bit.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 38% (12/32): Firestarter’s concept hews too closely to other known Stephen King adaptations, though it’s got nice special effects (including scenery-chewing George C. Scott).

(Yeah out of everything in the film I think George C. Scott probably is my favorite? He’s just such an odd and specifically quirky character.)

Reviewer Highlight: Even before it begins laying waste to the reputations of cast members, “Firestarter” is promptly exposed as a derivative embarrassment of a conception. – Gary Arnold, Washington Post

Poster – Firesklogger

(Look at all those words. The whole thing still pops, but somehow they actually did make a much better poster for the new one. Removed the words, added some flair to the font, and made everything a little more professional. I’ll be kind for this one though, cause it still looks kind of cool. C+)

Tagline(s) – She has the power . . . an evil destructive force. (C-)

If you get on her bad side…YOU’RE TOAST. (C+)

Will she have the power… to survive? (B-)

Charlie McGee is a happy, healthy eight-year-old little girl. Normal in every way but one. She has the power to set objects afire with just one glance. It’s a power she does not want. It’s a power she can’t control. And, each night, Charlie prays to be just like every other child. But there are those who will do everything in their power to find her… or destroy her. (D-)

(Lot’s to parse because of all the words on the poster. The first is the worst of the short ones. Just not very clever, but not offensive. The second adds a little spice, but it’s pretty laughably lame. The third is the best. A play on expectations. It’s also short and gives you a sense of what’s going on. I actually didn’t even read the last one because life is too short. It only doesn’t get an F because it’s better than no tagline, but barely.)

Keyword(s) – Stephen King

Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), The Green Mile (1999), The Shining (1980), It (2017), Stand by Me (1986), The Mist (2007), 1408 (2007), It Chapter Two (2019), Misery (1990), Secret Window (2004)

Future BMT: 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 59.2 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 50.2 Sleepwalkers (1992), 47.8 The Dark Tower (2017), 45.4 Children of the Corn (1984), 36.5 Thinner (1996), 29.7 Creepshow 2 (1987), 24.0 Needful Things (1993)

BMT: The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999), Graveyard Shift (1990), Dreamcatcher (2003), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Firestarter (1984), Firestarter (2022)

(I decided to pick out a good one for this with Stephen King. My god are there a lot of films of his left! We’ve seen seven and eight to go. Halfway.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Drew Barrymore is No. 1 billed in Firestarter and No. 2 billed in Blended, which also stars Adam Sandler (No. 1 billed) who is in Jack and Jill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 3 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch Mad Love we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Prophetically, a few years before she was cast in the film, six-year-old Drew Barrymore’s mother thought that Drew resembled the girl on the source novel’s paperback dust-jacket. Drew once said: “My mom had seen this book at the grocery store with a picture of a little girl on it and she said, ‘Gee, this looks kinda like you’. She said it was okay if I bought it, and so I did. When I read it, I came into the kitchen where my mom was making dinner and said: ‘I’m the Firestarter. I’m Charlie McGee!’ But she didn’t know what I was talking about.”

George C. Scott wears an eye patch over his left eye during the final half hour of the film which was due to the infection caused by the contact lens used earlier in the film. The eye was not quite healed and had to wear it to complete the filming of his scenes.

In a 2010 interview, director Mark L. Lester confirmed that this was the most difficult film that he ever made. He said, “That was all practical [effects]. The fireballs you see, that’s not CGI. Back then, we actually created fireballs that could fly through the air, they were on a wire and could crash into buildings. We had people on fire that were on trampolines that had to flip through the air. It was very dangerous. All the effects were done right on the set. It was a pretty intense thing to do then.”

This film was originally going to be directed by John Carpenter and Bill Lancaster, who wrote the screenplay for The Thing (1982), even wrote a draft for this film. But, according to Carpenter, Universal executives removed both of them from the project in the wake of the box-office and critical drubbing they received for The Thing. Carpenter had reportedly talked to Darwin Joston about taking on the role of John Rainbird, which was ultimately played by George C. Scott. Thirty eight years later, Carpenter, along with son Cody Carpenter and frequent collaborator Daniel A. Davies, would be brought on to compose the score for the Firestarter (2022) remake.

Martin Sheen took over at a late stage from Burt Lancaster, who had to withdraw following heart surgery.

Producer Dino De Laurentiis paid $1 million for the film rights to the book.

Mark L. Lester said he never understood why Stephen King hated this film. He said during an interview, “I knew he hated The Shining (1980), because that movie was not his book. But in case of Firestarter, he had approved the script. He even worked on it. He was on the set and we talked about everything we were doing. He loved everything. The one thing that he especially criticized, the wind blowing through Drew Barrymore’s hair, that was his idea to begin with! At that time he practically hated every movie that was made from any of his books. Finally, Dino got so fed up with him that he said: Okay, you direct your own movie. Well, that was the absolute worst Stephen King film ever. So there you go. But he’s a great writer and I don’t want to get into a fight with him.”

Jurassic World: Dominion Preview

Jamie and Patrick walk along the Canals of Amsterdam. They admire all the sites, including a few they recognize from Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo. It’s a magical time. “This is a magical time,” Says Producer Frank Brow. It would seem he has decided to play their triplet in hopes that they agree to join America is Very Good as permanent hosts. “And that’s darn tootin’. You can use that on the show,” he adds. The Brow-isms were coming fast and furious in what appeared to be his primary strategy for wooing them into the gig. “Yo, Brow, my man, we’ve always heard that Amsterdam is a place of forbidden wonder (if you know what I mean). Is that true?” Jamie asks, waggling his eyebrows. Mr. Brow gulps, and Patrick can see Brow’s brow getting moist with nervous sweat. He gulps and, with dollar signs dancing in his eyes, summons his courage. “Of course, come with me,” he wheezes. A moment later they stand in front of a red light district storefront. “Mr. Brow, well I never,” Patrick exclaims, “I’m a happily married man.” Mr. Brow apologizes, his face turning crimson. He beckons them again to follow. A moment later they stand in front of a coffee shop. “Mr. Brow, well I never,” Jamie exclaims, “Everyone knows we D.A.R.E. to not do drugs.” Mr. Brow apologizes profusely and admits that when Jamie parathentically said “if you know what I mean,” it turned out that he didn’t. Just as he’s about to explain, Jamie’s eyes light up and he points at something over Mr. Brow’s shoulder. “That’s what I mean,” he says with great excitement. Brow spins around to see a giant amusement park called “Dino Globe” with the tagline “Amsterdam: the only place where dinosaurs are legal.” That’s right! We are finishing the Jurassic World trilogy with the only entry that qualified for BMT, this year’s Jurassic World: Dominion. Spoiler alert! I heard that the T-Rex might fight another dinosaur and maybe even inadvertently save the day. They just can’t quite Sexy Rexy. Let’s go!

Jurassic World: Dominion (2022) – BMeTric: 44.3; Notability: 71

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.8%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 10.5%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Firestarter, Moonfall, Morbius, Blacklight, Pinocchio, Me Time, Spiderhead, Deep Water, The Invitation, After Ever Happy, Jurassic World: Dominion, Senior Year, Blackout, The 355; Higher Notability: Black Adam; Lower RT: After Ever Happy, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Me Time, Poker Face, Blacklight, Firestarter, White Elephant, Prey for the Devil, Morbius, The Last Manhunt, Blackout, The Bubble, The Man from Toronto, Senior Year, On the Line, The 355, The Invitation, Pinocchio, Memory; Notes: That notability will only go up. I assume this is ultimately going to be a 100+ Notability film all said and done, just will take a few years.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Worst of all, the series again fails to properly explore its most tantalizing question: how would our world change if dinosaurs were added to it? The opening section packs any halfway intriguing or funny thing that “Dominion” might have to say about this topic into a TV news montage—showing, for instance, a little girl being chased on a beach by baby dinos (an homage to “The Lost World”), a couple releasing doves at their wedding only to have one of them get snatched out of the air by a pterodactyl, and pteranodons nesting in the World Trade Center (possibly a reference to Larry Cohen’s “Q: The Winged Serpent,” in which an ancient Aztec god nests in the Chrysler Building). Ninety minutes of footage like this, minus any characters or plot at all, probably would’ve resulted in an artistically better use of a couple hundred million dollars than “Jurassic World: Dominion,” which will doubtless be a smash on the order of all the other entries in the franchise, even though it doesn’t do much more than the bare minimum you’d expect for one of these films, and not all that well.

(Actually higher praise than I would have imagined. The movie looks like garbage, no joke.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtQycgMD4HQ/

(I watched this trailer live as well. It is more obvious that the raptors actually look like garbage while watching the film. The scene with the raptors in the city is embarrassing.)

Directors – Colin Trevorrow – ( Known For: Jurassic World; Safety Not Guaranteed; Future BMT: The Book of Henry; BMT: Jurassic World: Dominion; Notes: His career is kind of balancing on a knife’s edge. He was supposed to do Star Wars 9, but then The Book of Henry was so catastrophic he got it taken away. The write up for his version sounded awful anyways. And now this. He’ll either retreat to a small Indie hit like Safety Not Guaranteed, or tee up another big film and his career will live and die by that.)

Writers – Emily Carmichael – ( Known For: Pacific Rim: Uprising; BMT: Jurassic World: Dominion; Notes: Ooooof, not an impressive set of films. She has otherwise exclusively written and directed shorts.)

Colin Trevorrow – ( Known For: Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Jurassic World; Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; BMT: Jurassic World: Dominion; Notes: Yeah he got a credit on Star Wars 9, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t really use any of this script. Oddly didn’t really start writing stuff until he was directing huge features.)

Derek Connolly – ( Known For: Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Jurassic World; Kong: Skull Island; Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; Pokémon Detective Pikachu; Safety Not Guaranteed; Future BMT: Monster Trucks; BMT: Jurassic World: Dominion; Notes: Just a story credit, but he’s done an eclectic set of films since writing Safety Not Guaranteed which Trevorrow directed.)

Michael Crichton – ( Known For: Jurassic Park; Jurassic World; Twister; Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; The Great Train Robbery; The Lost World: Jurassic Park; Jurassic Park III; Disclosure; Westworld; Runaway; The Andromeda Strain; Coma; The Terminal Man; Looker; The Carey Treatment; Dealing: Or the Berkeley-to-Boston Forty-Brick Lost-Bag Blues; Extreme Close-Up; Future BMT: Sphere; BMT: Jurassic World: Dominion; The 13th Warrior; Timeline; Congo; Rising Sun; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Written Film Grossing Over $100 Million for Twister in 1997; Notes: He wrote the original Jurassic Park book. Fun fact: he wrote Lost World after they had already decided to make the movie. There was never supposed to be a second Jurassic Park book at all.)

Actors – Chris Pratt – ( Known For: Thor: Love and Thunder; Avengers: Endgame; Guardians of the Galaxy; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Avengers: Infinity War; Her; The Magnificent Seven; Zero Dark Thirty; Jurassic World; Moneyball; The Tomorrow War; Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; Wanted; Jennifer’s Body; The Lego Movie; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Onward; The Kid; 10 Years; The Five-Year Engagement; Future BMT: Passengers; What’s Your Number?; Take Me Home Tonight; Delivery Man; Jem and the Holograms; BMT: Jurassic World: Dominion; Movie 43; Bride Wars; Notes: He’s kind of in everything now. He is very good in Parks and Recreation which is where most people probably saw him first.)

Bryce Dallas Howard – ( Known For: How the Grinch Stole Christmas; A Beautiful Mind; Jurassic World; Spider-Man 3; The Help; The Village; Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; Rocketman; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; 50/50; Pete’s Dragon; Gold; A Dog’s Way Home; Hereafter; Manderlay; Good Dick; Book of Love; As You Like It; The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond; Future BMT: Terminator Salvation; BMT: Jurassic World: Dominion; Lady in the Water; Notes: Ron Howard’s daughter. She has notably directed a few of the recent Star Wars television show episodes.)

Laura Dern – ( Known For: Little Women; Jurassic Park; Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi; The Son; Blue Velvet; Downsizing; Marriage Story; The Master; The Fault in Our Stars; Wild at Heart; The Founder; Mask; Jurassic Park III; Cold Pursuit; Inland Empire; Wild; October Sky; Fat Man and Little Boy; A Perfect World; Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore; Future BMT: Little Fockers; I Am Sam; When the Game Stands Tall; BMT: Jurassic World: Dominion; Notes: She’s done a bunch of television in the recent years, including, oddly, an uncredited stint on White Lotus. She’s been in just three of the Jurassic Park movies, the first third and sixth.)

Budget/Gross – $165–185 million / Domestic: $376,009,080 (Worldwide: $1,001,136,080)

(A billion dollars. People just like dinosaurs yo.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (114/393): Jurassic World Dominion might be a bit of an improvement over its immediate predecessors in some respects, but this franchise has lumbered a long way down from its classic start.

(It is not an improvement on its predecessors. It is, frankly, the worst of the six movies so far and in my opinion it is by quite a distance. Yes, even the third one.)

Reviewer Highlight: This is not a story that begged to be told or a saga that demanded a finale. It’s another dispiriting example of how Hollywood never leaves money on the table. It’s just a shame that so much talent is wasted in the process – Leonard Maltin, leonardmaltin.com

Poster – Jurassic Sklog: Extinction

(D as in Dumb.)

Tagline(s) – The epic conclusion of the Jurassic era. (F)

(F as in For Sure Dumb.)

Keyword(s) – year 2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), Bullet Train (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Adam Project (2022), The Northman (2022)

Future BMT: 65.8 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 64.8 Halloween Ends (2022), 63.9 Firestarter (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 50.5 Umma (2022), 45.9 The 355 (2022), 38.5 Memory (2022), 19.2 Black Adam (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Blacklight (2022), The Invitation (2022), After Ever Happy (2022), Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022), The King’s Daughter (2022), Amsterdam (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022), Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

(Wait, what is the sub cycle? Oh right, films set in the future. … … Yeah, I mean, prove it didn’t? I kid in a way, but as the biggest baddest sci-fi film of the year it did seem like fair game for Achievement Unlocked, no films definitively set in the future qualified in 2022.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Bryce Dallas Howard is No. 2 billed in Jurassic World: Dominion and No. 2 billed in Lady in the Water, which also stars Paul Giamatti (No. 1 billed) who is in Paycheck (No. 4 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 17. If we were to watch Bicentennial Man, Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – Laura Dern strongly expressed her desire to return to the series in March 2017; adding that: “If you guys make a last one, you gotta let Ellie Sattler come back. She’s always the one who’s saving the day, man!”

Jeff Goldblum is the same age in this film that Richard Attenborough was in Jurassic Park (1993).

When Jeff Goldblum found out he was appearing with his two co-stars from the the original film, he wrote on Instagram about Colin Trevorrow a line he said in the original, “You did it, you crazy son of a bitch, you did it.” He also added, “happy as a clamasaurus to be reunited with my brilliant costars from the original Jurassic Park Laura Dern and Sam Neill for the next installment of Jurassic World… Coming soon!!”

Sam Neil has often said he thought Dr. Grant would have long since retired by now, but maybe the threat of dinosaurs back on American soil would force him to reconsider that option.

Colin Trevorrow has revealed that this film is actually going to have more animatronics than its predecessors. As he put it: “We’ve actually gone more practical with every Jurassic movie we’ve made since the first one, and we’ve made more animatronics in this one than we have in the previous two.”

Trevorrow stated that the film would be set around the world, and said that the idea of Henry Wu being the only person who knows how to create a dinosaur was far-fetched “after 30 years of this technology existing” within the films’ universe. Additionally, the film would focus on the dinosaurs that were freed at the end of Fallen Kingdom, but it would not depict dinosaurs terrorizing cities, an idea that Trevorrow considered unrealistic. Instead, Trevorrow was interested in a world where “a dinosaur might run out in front of your car on a foggy backroad, or invade your campground looking for food. A world where dinosaur interaction is unlikely but possible–the same way we watch out for bears or sharks. We hunt animals, we traffic them, we herd them, we breed them, we invade their territory and pay the price, but we don’t go to war with them.” Trevorrow said that the film would also be about Owen and Claire’s redemption, and their responsibility to take care of Maisie, a cloned girl from the previous film. Trevorrow said about the film and its predecessors, “I have a dinosaur movie that I’ve always wanted to see, and it took two movies to earn it.”

Laura Dern told TIME that reuniting with the adorable animatronic nausutoceratops “was equally as jaw dropping, but nothing will be like that first moment I walked through a field on Kauai [in Hawaii] with Sam Neill and I looked ahead and I saw a triceratops. That was my first dinosaur and I will love that dinosaur the most forever.”

Speaking with CinemaBlend, Bryce Dallas Howard expressed hopes of going all out for the then-untitled Jurassic World 3 and bringing in more characters from the original Jurassic Park (1993) to finish out the trilogy. Howard also revealed that this is currently one of the many goals of Jurassic World 3, saying: “In terms of the third movie, the goal overall is to bring the entire saga together. It’ll be the sixth film at the end of the day. For me, what I’m most wanting, other than an undercut, is for there to be more characters from the earlier films.”

Colin Trevorrow said that the film would be a “science thriller,” describing it as being the Jurassic World film that would most closely match the tone of Steven Spielberg’s original Jurassic Park (1993).

One Jurassic World character returning that director Colin Trevorrow is especially proud of: Dr. Henry Wu. That’s according to the actor who plays him, BD Wong, who said: “Colin’s very proud of where he’s taken this particular character. He kind of rescued this character from obscurity from the original Jurassic Park movie….Then years later Colin came back and said ‘Well who’s not dead?’ and went through the roster of characters. There was only one person they could really, not even resurrect him, they just pulled him back from obscurity because he had not been attended to properly as far as I’m concerned. And he has now taken a turn into a whole other world in the franchise and become a more complex and more interesting individual. So where he goes in the third movie, cannot be said by me right now, but Colin’s very proud of it and rightly so.”

Amsterdam Preview

It was a classic Bad Movie Twins dance. Abs? Gleaming. Jorts? Brimming. Legs? Akimbo. Just when Kevin James thought it would end, his hand hovering over his patented “Not Good Buzzer,” the routine would ratchet up a notch. Jamie and Patrick stared daggers at him, their muscles burning at 45 straight minutes of experimental dance the likes of which a national audience had never witnessed. Ratings were spiking as other networks hopped on the broadcast. Over 200 million Americans watched as Kevin James was dragged from the stage screaming that Jamie and Patrick were punks. Punks who needed Punk’ding. The producers scoffed at his antics. They wouldn’t let a personal vendetta stand in the way of them getting the opportunity to declare the once Bad Movie Twins the Very Good Twins. Imagine! America is Very Good will be the top talent show on TV in no time as long as the Very Good Twins were part of the team. “That… that was amazing,” Producer Frank Brow exclaims, “and you can take that to the bank,” he finishes with a flourish. He doesn’t let his disappointment show when it becomes clear that Jamie and Patrick don’t recognize a classic Brow-ism. “Yeah, well we’re good now,” Patrick says shrugging. “Very good,” Jamie chimes in with a wink and The Brow almost faints, dollar signs dancing in his vision. “So this is the button… the Not Good Buzzer. You guys can just press it together if you like. Or we can get a second one.” Jamie and Patrick are confused. “Mr. Brow. This seems like a good gig for some Very Good Twins, but I think we just won the show… so…” Brow is picking up what they’re putting down. “The Prize. Of course. How would you like a trip to …” That’s right! We’re heading off to Amsterdam for David O. Russell’s very big bomb Amsterdam. It’s not a movie I wanted to see… but here we are. Let’s go!

Amsterdam (2022) – BMeTric: 28.5; Notability: 50

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 10.8%; Notability: top 1.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 12.2%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Firestarter, Moonfall, Morbius, Blacklight, Pinocchio, Me Time, Spiderhead, Deep Water, The Invitation, After Ever Happy, Jurassic World: Dominion, Senior Year, Blackout, The 355, White Elephant, Samaritan, Prey for the Devil, and 7 more; Higher Notability: Black Adam, Jurassic World: Dominion, Pinocchio; Lower RT: After Ever Happy, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Me Time, Poker Face, Blacklight, Firestarter, White Elephant, Prey for the Devil, Morbius, The Last Manhunt, Blackout, The Bubble, The Man from Toronto, Senior Year, On the Line, The 355, The Invitation, Pinocchio, Memory, Jurassic World: Dominion, and 2 more; Notes: That notability is off the chain for real though. I need to watch Black Adam at some point, got to hit up those big Notability films.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – But despite these sporadic moments of enjoyment, “Amsterdam” is ultimately so convoluted and tedious that it obliterates such glimmers of goodwill. It’s so weighed down by its overlong running time and self-indulgent sense of importance that its core message about the simple need for human decency feels like a cynical afterthought. And whispering the word “Amsterdam” throughout, as several of the characters do, doesn’t even begin to cast the magic spell it seeks to conjure.

(Yeah that is what it feels like. But also, isn’t that kind of David O. Russell’s M.O. at this point? The huge ensemble cast desperately trying to hold an overblown ripped-from-the-headlines plot together? Or should I actually say the magnetic charisma of Christian Bale trying to kill such a plot afloat.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLs2xxM0e78/

(I watched this trailer when it came out. Looked good. Oh wait, I should be more specific. Christian Bale looked good. I was a little disappointed it apparently isn’t. Because I like Christian Bale. Such is life I suppose though.)

Directors – David O. Russell – ( Known For: American Hustle; Silver Linings Playbook; The Fighter; Joy; Three Kings; I Heart Huckabees; Spanking the Monkey; Flirting with Disaster; Accidental Love; BMT: Amsterdam; Notes: Nominated for five Oscars for writing/directing American Hustle, Silver Linings Playbook, and The Fighter. He might have defined Bradley Cooper as a serious dramatic actor.)

Writers – David O. Russell – ( Known For: American Hustle; Silver Linings Playbook; Joy; Three Kings; I Heart Huckabees; Spanking the Monkey; Flirting with Disaster; BMT: Amsterdam; Notes: Born in New York City, he went to Amherst College and got his start with a Documentary short about the Hispanic community of Boston.)

Actors – Christian Bale – ( Known For: The Pale Blue Eye; Thor: Love and Thunder; American Psycho; The Dark Knight; The Prestige; The Dark Knight Rises; Ford v Ferrari; Batman Begins; The Big Short; Little Women; Knight of Cups; 3:10 to Yuma; American Hustle; Out of the Furnace; Equilibrium; Hostiles; The Machinist; Empire of the Sun; The Fighter; Public Enemies; Future BMT: Terminator Salvation; Exodus: Gods and Kings; Newsies; BMT: Amsterdam; Captain Corelli’s Mandolin; Notes: He won an Oscar for The Fighter, but has been nominated four times in total. Welsh, he was a notable child actor (in things like Empire of the Sun) and starred in Newsies which was supposed to be the return of the big Hollywood musical … it was not.)

Margot Robbie – ( Known For: Babylon; Once Upon a Time in Hollywood; The Wolf of Wall Street; The Suicide Squad; About Time; The Big Short; Birds of Prey; Dreamland; Bombshell; I, Tonya; Focus; Mary Queen of Scots; Terminal; Whiskey Tango Foxtrot; Peter Rabbit; Suite Française; Slaughterhouse Rulez; Z for Zachariah; Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway; Goodbye Christopher Robin; Future BMT: Suicide Squad; The Legend of Tarzan; BMT: Amsterdam; Notes: Nominated for two Oscars for I, Tonya and Bombshell. Australian, she obviously started out on Neighbours. They all do.)

John David Washington – ( Known For: Tenet; BlacKkKlansman; Malcolm X; Malcolm & Marie; Beckett; The Old Man & the Gun; Devil in a Blue Dress; Monster; Monsters and Men; Love Beats Rhymes; BMT: Amsterdam; Notes: Wait … wait. He is Denzel Washington’s son. And he was a professional football player, albeit as the running back for the United Football League’s Sacramento Mountain Lions. But still, what the hell.)

Budget/Gross – $80 million / Domestic: $14,947,969 (Worldwide: $31,245,810)

(That is a colossal bomb, but not surprising. Everything that was kind of mid-budget (and not fantastic) bombed this year. Hopefully that will change a tiny bit next year, but we’ll see.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 32% (79/244): Amsterdam has a bunch of big stars and a very busy plot, all of which amounts to painfully less than the sum of its dazzling parts.

(Awwww. This film feels like it was just on the cusp of being kind of okay. But ultimately yeah, whenever Bale isn’t the center of attention the film kind of gets away from itself.)

Reviewer Highlight: Jaw-droppingly terrible, interminably dull… – Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times

Poster – Amsterdaaaang

(I kind of dig this. Could use some better font, but the colors are interesting and the framing as well. Not the worst. C+)

Tagline(s) – Let the love, murder, and conspiracy begin. (A)

(Helllll yeah. Now that fits what we want. It’s giving a little hint. Short and sweet and rule of three. Even a little clever with the “Let the [blank] begin.” It’s good. You can’t claim otherwise.)

Keyword(s) – year 2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), Bullet Train (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Adam Project (2022), The Northman (2022)

Future BMT: 65.8 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 64.8 Halloween Ends (2022), 63.9 Firestarter (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 50.5 Umma (2022), 45.9 The 355 (2022), 44.3 Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), 38.5 Memory (2022), 19.2 Black Adam (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Blacklight (2022), The Invitation (2022), After Ever Happy (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022), The King’s Daughter (2022), Amsterdam (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022), Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

Best Options (pearl-harbor): 28.2 Amsterdam (2022)

(Hey there, I like that. Maybe the crown jewel of any cycle this year we left it out here and there (for comedy for example) entirely because we knew that if we could wait to juuuuuuust this week precisely it would come out on HBO Max. Perfecto.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Robert De Niro is No. 4 billed in Amsterdam and No. 1 billed in Righteous Kill, which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (4 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 12. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Christian Bale stopped talking to Chris Rock on set. He claimed that he was very funny, which made it hard for him to act.

The eye drops the characters use near the film’s end, are likely allusions to the cocaine eye drops that Adolf Hitler reportedly favored enthusiastically.

Of working with Anya Taylor-Joy on this film, David O. Russell said, “Anya is fearless and intuitively vulnerable and confident in a manner that is uniquely her own. She is different and strange in ways that are fascinating both toward darkness and toward light.”

Was a box office failure, losing the studio an estimated $97 million, according to Deadline.

A rumored title of the film was “Canterbury Glass.”

Was originally set to release on November 4, 2022, but was moved up to October 7 to avoid competition with Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022).

The cast includes three Oscar winners – Christian Bale, Rami Malek, and Robert De Niro – and two Oscar nominees – Margot Robbie and Michael Shannon.

Mike Myers also played a British military man with a similar look in Inglourious Basterds (2009).

This film was inspired by the Business Plot, a 1933 political conspiracy in which wealthy American businessmen and bankers plotted a military coup d’état to overthrow President Franklin D. Roosevelt and replace him with a fascist veterans’ organization headed by U.S. Marine Corps Major General Smedley Butler. Butler revealed the plot in a testimony under oath to the U.S. House of Representatives’ Special Committee on Un-American Activities in 1934. The committee concluded that a plot was indeed concocted, but none of the plotters were prosecuted. General Dillenbeck (Robert De Niro) is based on Butler.

Where the Crawdads Sing Preview

Jamie and Patrick stand backstage at America is Very Good. They stand awkwardly amongst the rest of the contestants. It feels like everyone is staring at them… probably because they are. It’s not every day that multiple EGOT winners show up wanting to compete on America’s third most popular talent show. The creator of the show assumed it was some elaborate joke, probably as part of a reboot of the Punk’d franchise. It took them ages to convince him that he wasn’t being Punk’d and that close personal friend Ashton Kutcher wasn’t hiding anywhere nearby. “Let’s just go out there, blow their socks off, prove to everyone we’re good now, and get out of here,” Jamie says nervously. The invitation seemed perfect when they first found it on the street, but now it’s seeming a little too good to be true. In his nervousness Jamie leans around the curtain to get a glimpse at the crowd. “Oh shit,” he mumbles and Patrick rushes over to take a look himself. “What thuuuu…” Patrick says in disbelief. There sitting at the judges table is none other than Paul Blart himself, Kevin James. What are the chances? Suddenly Kevin James, American icon, looks directly at them and mouths “I got you, Bad Movie Twins.” Jamie and Patrick are shocked and dismayed. Not only are they not going to prove to the world that they are very good, but they are about to be Punk’d on national television by Kevin James. “What are we going to do?” Jamie wails in dismay. Patrick shakes him back to his senses. “You know exactly what we’re going to do,” Patrick says, eyes narrowing, “we’re going to dance… we’re going to dance and we’re going to win and Kevin James can just stick it where the crawdads sing.” That’s right! We are watching smash box office hit Where the Crawdads Sing. Based on one of the hottest selling books of all time, the film clearly has its audience and that audience now includes us. Let’s go!

Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) – BMeTric: 7.5; Notability: 27

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 14.0%; Notability: top 5.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 12.7%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Halloween Ends, Firestarter, Moonfall, Morbius, Blacklight, Pinocchio, Me Time, Spiderhead, Deep Water, The Invitation, After Ever Happy, Jurassic World: Dominion, Senior Year, Blackout, The 355, White Elephant, Samaritan, and 15 more; Higher Notability: Black Adam, Jurassic World: Dominion, Pinocchio, Amsterdam, Morbius, Disenchanted, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, Spiderhead, Don’t Worry Darling, The 355; Lower RT: After Ever Happy, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Me Time, Poker Face, Blacklight, Firestarter, White Elephant, Morbius, Prey for the Devil, The Last Manhunt, Blackout, The Bubble, The Man from Toronto, Senior Year, On the Line, The 355, The Invitation, Pinocchio, Memory, Jurassic World: Dominion, and 3 more; Notes: This is the one. We always do a “fairly well received by audiences” film and this is the one. Buckle up.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The cicadas buzz and the moss drips and the sunset casts a golden shimmer on the water every single evening. But while “Where the Crawdads Sing” is rich in atmosphere, it’s sorely lacking in actual substance or suspense.

(Interesting. The trailer does look beautiful. And I also watched a few makings of docs that came on the DVD and the production seemed really well put together. Kind of sad it didn’t hit with critics at all.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoSHYfCqgK0/

(Pretty good trailer. I’m a sucker for courtroom dramas. I didn’t really know that it was a courtroom drama now that I think about it.)

Directors – Olivia Newman – ( Known For: First Match; BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; Notes: Man, directors’ resumes I feel like are getting weird. She directed episodes of Chicago Fire, Chicago P.D., and FBI. Just weird and wild stuff.)

Writers – Delia Owens – ( BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; Notes: She wrote the book. There is a whole thing about a case in Zambia involving poachers and a murder and her husband and stepson. I’ll leave you to look it up yourself.)

Lucy Alibar – ( Known For: Beasts of the Southern Wild; Troop Zero; BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; Notes: She was nominated for an Oscar for Beasts of the Southern Wild. Otherwise there isn’t much else about her online.)

Actors – Daisy Edgar-Jones – ( Known For: Fresh; Pond Life; BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; Notes: She is British, and her father is a television executive. She’s been in a lot of television, mainly Cold Feet, Under the Banner of Heaven, and War of the Worlds.)

Taylor John Smith – ( Known For: The Outpost; Shadow in the Cloud; You Get Me; Insidious: Chapter 3; Martyrs; Some Kind of Beautiful; Almost Friends; Wolves; BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; Blacklight; Hunter Killer; Notes: American, he’s an up and coming young film actor, although he was in Sharp Objects with Amy Adams.)

Harris Dickinson – ( Known For: Triangle of Sadness; See How They Run; The King’s Man; Beach Rats; The Souvenir: Part II; Matthias & Maxime; Postcards from London; Future BMT: Maleficent: Mistress of Evil; BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; The Darkest Minds; Notes: Also British. He was in a bunch of films this year, with Triangle of Sadness being the most critically acclaimed.)

Budget/Gross – $24 million / Domestic: $90,230,760 (Worldwide: $140,230,760)

(That is enormous. Yeah, it is a bit weird it was so dumped on by critics because multiple people have recommended it to me as being quite good.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 34% (72/210): Daisy Edgar-Jones gives it her all, but Where the Crawdads Sing is ultimately unable to distill its source material into a tonally coherent drama.

(Hmmmmmmm, that feels like an odd consensus. A tonally coherent drama? I don’t really know what that means.)

Reviewer Highlight: Everything feels both fussy and perfunctory, and not a bit of it real. – Danny Leigh, Financial Times

Poster – Where the Sklogdads Sing

(I’m a bit confused by the poster, but I do like effort and this gets an E for effort. Font could be better, and a more cohesive theme, but overall it’s fine. C.)

Tagline(s) – Secrets are Buried Just Beneath the Surface (B)

(Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I’m not sure this makes a whole lot of sense. Still, it does what it came to do and in a clever way. So gotta give it its due. I just need to stop reading it or I’ll realize it’s just a bunch of nonsense.)

Keyword(s) – year 2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), Bullet Train (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Adam Project (2022), The Northman (2022)

Future BMT: 65.8 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 64.8 Halloween Ends (2022), 63.9 Firestarter (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 50.5 Umma (2022), 45.9 The 355 (2022), 44.3 Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), 38.5 Memory (2022), 28.2 Amsterdam (2022), 19.2 Black Adam (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Blacklight (2022), The Invitation (2022), After Ever Happy (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022), The King’s Daughter (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022), Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

Best Options (Romance): 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022)

(Yeah … I don’t see how this isn’t a Romance but whatever. It is a courtroom drama I suppose, but underlying the whole thing is a romance. A bona fide romance.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 22) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: David Strathairn is No. 6 billed in Where the Crawdads Sing and No. 4 billed in Twisted, which also stars Ashley Judd (No. 1 billed) who is in The Identical (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ray Liotta (No. 3 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (6 + 4) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 22. If we were to watch Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, and The Bone Collector we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

Notes – The song that Chase sings to Kya in bed is “Long Black Veil,” a 1959 Lefty Frizzell folk ballad about a man who refuses to give an alibi when charged for a murder he didn’t commit.

Daisy Edgar-Jones (Kya) auditioned with a self-recorded tape she filmed on the set of her series War of the Worlds (2019).

The British Daisy Edgar-Jones had to work closely with dialect coach Francie Brown in order to master the southern American accent for her role as Kya.

Based on the bestselling novel by Delia Owens.

Features the original song “Carolina” written and performed by Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift insisted on writing the song “Carolina” for the film, only after she learned that actress Daisy Edgar-Jones and Reese Witherspoon (as producer) were both involved.

Since the production was ongoing during the pandemic, most of the cast and crew didn’t actually get to ‘see’ each other until the end of the shoot after the masks came off.

The trailer for this film was released on producer Reese Witherspoon’s birthday, March 22.

Delia Owens: The author of the novel is seen in the courtroom sitting on the front row behind Tom when Patti is testifying about Chase’s shell necklace.

The Invitation Preview

Jamie and Patrick wander the streets of New York. “Is that good?” asks Jamie, pointing to a crosswalk signal. They watch it for a while and indeed it does seem like it’s a good thing. It tells people when to safely walk across the road. “And that’s… good, right?” Patrick says, brow furrowed. Jamie agrees. It’s a good thing. He resists talking about how lame it is, despite its goodness, because they’ve turned over a new leaf. As they continue on their walk they are approached by a man. “Wait, aren’t you two the Bad Movie Twins?” Patrick begins to respond in the negative. They are just plain ol’ twins now. But before he can explain the man double punches them in the stomach. “That’s for making fun of Paul Blart,” he says and leaves them groaning on the ground. “Maybe we just aren’t meant to be good,” Jamie says, on the verge of tears, “even when we’re just following traffic laws someone wants to punch you in the stomach because of all the bad things you said about Paul Blart. Maybe Paul Blart is good and we are bad.” He’s full on weeping on the sidewalk at this point and Patrick is embarrassed. None of this is good. What is good anyway? Just before he turns into the Joker, a glint of shiny paper catches his eye. He crawls across the sidewalk and grabs the piece of paper. “Jamie!” he yells in excitement. Jamie crawls over to join him and gasps when he reads the paper. “This is good,” he whispers. The paper isn’t just any piece of paper. It’s an invitation to appear on a talent show entitled America is Very Good. “It’s not just good, it’s our destiny,” Patrick says resolutely. That’s right! We are watching The Invitation, which apparently is based on Dracula, a property we’ve returned to a number of times on BMT. Keep ‘em coming. Let’s go!

The Invitation (2022) – BMeTric: 48.3; Notability: 13

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 5.2%; Notability: top 12.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 9.8%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Brazen, The Bubble, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, They/Them, Moonfall, Firestarter, Morbius, Blacklight, Me Time, Pinocchio, Spiderhead, Deep Water; Higher Notability: Jurassic World: Dominion, Black Adam, Pinocchio, Amsterdam, Morbius, Disenchanted, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, The King’s Daughter, Spiderhead, Don’t Worry Darling, The 355, Where the Crawdads Sing, Blacklight, Samaritan, Slumberland, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and 10 more; Lower RT: Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, After Ever Happy, Me Time, Blacklight, Firestarter, On the Line, Brazen, The Last Manhunt, Morbius, Prey for the Devil, Hot Seat, Home Team, The King’s Daughter, The Bubble, The Man from Toronto, Senior Year, The 355; Notes: Decent BMeTric. For year-of films it often feels like we are hitting up all ‘dem 50+ BMeTrics, or we are watching a kind of entertaining film with a BMeTric of 10.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – During these last, lazy days of summer, there isn’t a whole lot to do. Still, you’re probably going to want to RSVP “no” to “The Invitation.”

(What a pun. It is nice to know there is still a place in the theatrical schedule for a solid August dump, you know? I fear it is an endangered species.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Fzczrdt9K0/

(Kind of looks like a standard glossy modern vampire film. The only exception is that the beginning looks more inspired by Get Out … I’m going to assume that inspiration didn’t go anywhere since I haven’t seen it mentioned anywhere as particularly notable in that regard.)

Directors – Jessica M. Thompson – ( Known For: The Light of the Moon; BMT: The Invitation; Notes: Directed the limited series The End for Showtime. This seems to be have been poised to be her breakout feature.)

Writers – Blair Butler – ( Known For: Polaroid; Future BMT: Hell Fest; BMT: The Invitation; Notes: Seems to be a pretty consistent horror writer at the moment. Also wrote an episode of Helstrom.)

Actors – Nathalie Emmanuel – ( Known For: F9: The Fast Saga; Army of Thieves; Furious 7; The Fate of the Furious; Maze Runner: The Death Cure; Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials; The Titan; Last Train to Christmas; Holly Slept Over; Twenty8k; BMT: The Invitation; Notes: Probably most famous as Missandei on Game of Thrones. She’s British and her first role, naturally, was on the soap opera Hollyoaks.)

Thomas Doherty – ( BMT: The Invitation; Notes: He’s been in a bunch of television including (and completely unsurprisingly) the Gossip Girl reboot. He looks like Gossip Girl incarnate.)

Sean Pertwee – ( Known For: Equilibrium; Doomsday; Dog Soldiers; The Reckoning; Goal! The Dream Begins; Swing Kids; Howl; I.D.; Alan Partridge; The Seasoning House; Mutant Chronicles; Goal II: Living the Dream; Love, Honor and Obey; Wild Bill; 4.3.2.1.; Prick Up Your Ears; Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie; Shopping; Blue Juice; Wilderness; Future BMT: Formula 51; BMT: The Invitation; Event Horizon; Soldier; Notes: He’s the son of the Third Doctor, Jon Partwee. He’s probably most notable now as playing Alfred in the show Gotham.)

Budget/Gross – $10 million / Domestic: $25,100,080 (Worldwide: $33,700,080)

(I mean … that ain’t bad. No one is getting fired over some quick horror cash during a terrible box office year, I’m telling you that much.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (16/62): Despite a very likable lead and a refreshingly light touch, The Invitation is ultimately too predictable to thrill as either a romance or a horror story.

(Yeah, I think that sounds about right. It seems like they leaned too heavily into the vampire and missed the opportunity to do something a bit more interesting. Maybe for the sequel.)

Reviewer Highlight: Despite some ambitious efforts to revitalize hoary horror movie tropes with allegorical commentary on race, class and male privilege, “The Invitation” is too wearyingly hackneyed for too much of its running time. – Joe Leydon, Variety

Poster – DJ Spinvitation

(Looks like the front of a video game or something. It’s actually hard to connect this to a film, it’s gone so far from a typical movie poster. It’s actually almost meta. Like the poster is extending an invitation to watch the film… which just so happens to also be named The Invitation. Wish the font was better… and kinda everything else. Some OK artistic flourishes. C-.)

Tagline(s) – You are cordially invited to a nightmare generations in the making. (C+)

(This is actually OK if you ignore how long it is. It’s kinda clever with the “cordially” in there juxtaposed with “nightmare”… or am I being too kind. I’m probably being too kind.)

Keyword(s) – year 2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Adam Project (2022), The Northman (2022), The Gray Man (2022)

Future BMT: 63.5 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 63.4 Firestarter (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 50.0 Umma (2022), 45.8 The 355 (2022), 44.3 Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), 37.8 Memory (2022), 26.2 Amsterdam (2022), 10.7 Black Adam (2022), 7.4 Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Blacklight (2022), The Invitation (2022), After Ever Happy (2022), The King’s Daughter (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022)

Best Options (Horror): 63.5 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 63.4 Firestarter (2022), 50.0 Umma (2022), 48.0 The Invitation (2022)

(Many good choices here, but The Invitation worked the best because Firestarter is going to be pushed to a different category and Umma is just a little too weird.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 26) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sean Pertwee is No. 9 billed in The Invitation and No. 5 billed in Soldier, which also stars Kurt Russell (No. 1 billed) who is in Tango & Cash (No. 2 billed) which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (9 + 5) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 26. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 25.

Notes – In an interview with Bloody Disgusting, director Jessica M. Thompson revealed that an alternate “R-rated” cut of the film will be released in VOD and streaming following the theatrical run. In the other version, more gore, violence and nudity are added which were removed from the theatrical version for a PG-13 rating.

As Evie exits the airport, the last picture shown on the wall is of Whitby, the supposed location of the film, and the place that Dracula was said to have landed in England.

Originally titled “The Bride”.

The statue of a dragon on top of an armored knight, is a reverse of the traditional imagery of Saint George slaying a dragon.

Goof: The Rolls-Royce Evie exits is left hand drive but should be right hand drive since they are in the United Kingdom.

Carfax Abbey is the name of the estate purchased by Dracula in the original Bram Stoker book, so the name New Carfax Abbey hints at the owner’s identity.

The old couple that recapture Evie after her escape are named Jonathan and Mina Harker, which are the names of two very prominent characters in the book Dracula.

Lucy, one of the brides of Walter (The Vampire), is also the name of the victim of Dracula in the 1992 Film and original book.

Walter’s surname, “De Ville”, is a play on “devil.” In modern Romanian, the English translation of “Dracul” is “devil,” further hinting at his true identity as Dracula.

According to director Jessica M. Thompson, there were two alternate endings for the film, one that was filmed and one that wasn’t. The unfilmed ending would have had Evie keep her vampiric powers, despite killing Walter/Dracula, and going out into the world to hunt other vampires while the filmed ending would have had Dracula survive the fire at New Carfax and return by ship to Romania, killing the crew and passengers on the way to survive. Thompson was not a fan of that ending as she felt it took away from Evie’s triumph to have the vampire live to see another day and also because she felt it would suggest there would be sequels, sentiments shared by the test audiences as they also hated that ending. Thompson’s original idea for the ending, which is what the final film ends on, was shot several weeks before the film’s release and required the use of a double for Hugh Skinner as he was unable to film the scene. It also allowed there to be one more scene for Courtney Taylor, who was an audience favorite during the screenings.

Blacklight Preview

Jamie and Patrick find themselves back in their apartment. The door to Kyle’s room opens and he stops short, his eyes widening. “Did you decide not to leave?” he asks, hope in his voice, “Lou gave me the Dongle and this note and said I wouldn’t see you for a while.” He looks at the note, already covered in chocolate. “I guess I won’t have to follow you after all,” he concludes and attempts to give them back the Dongle. But Jamie and Patrick stop him and shake their heads. “You did follow us,” Patrick says solemnly, tears brimming in his eyes, “And you saved us.” They explain how Kyle is the key to the Dongle’s destruction. “We were going about it all wrong,” Jamie says, a little embarrassed, “we spent years trying to destroy the Dongle. We could never do that. But you can… just by keeping it.” Kyle bites his lip in trepidation. He looks back at his room. Having got up the courage to invite Rachel over, she now was waiting in his room ready to watch Ghost starring Patrick Swayze as their first date. They can see the concern in his eyes. If he has the Dongle will it put Rachel in danger? Does this mean he will never know love? “Don’t worry,” Jamie says smiling, “she’s also the key to all of this. And as a gift for all that you did we’d also like you two to take over BMT. It’s time for us to move on.” Kyle’s mouth falls open in surprise. “But what are you going to do now?” he asks, prompting Jamie and Patrick to look at each other. “We don’t know,” Patrick says, “something good… time to move out of the darkness and into the light.” That’s right! We’re moving away from the ironic and into the serious 2022 choices with one of two Liam Neeson action films that critically flopped this year. First up is Blacklight, which is about… an old person beating people up, I think. Let’s go!

Blacklight (2022) – BMeTric: 61.1; Notability: 27

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.2%; Notability: top 5.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.3%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Brazen, The Bubble, Moonfall, They/Them, Firestarter, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Morbius; Higher Notability: Jurassic World: Dominion, Black Adam, Pinocchio, Amsterdam, Morbius, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, The King’s Daughter, Spiderhead, Don’t Worry Darling, The 355; Lower RT: After Ever Happy, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Me Time, On the Line; Notes: Kind of amazing that Moonfall of all things has a higher BMeT. Maybe because more people saw it? That would make sense. Still, I feel like Moonfall is one of those films which ten years from now will have a 6.3 on IMDb and confuse anyone who watches it.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – Another season, another “Liam Neeson Has Skills” movie. Some of the variants of his popular “Taken” movies (the last one, “Taken 3,” was all the way back in 2014, how times flies) have been reasonably clever and even cinematically worthwhile on a surprising level (see for instance 2019’s “Cold Pursuit”). Mark Williams’ “Blacklight,” alas, is not among them.

(So … basically this is just a basic Liam Neeson snoozefest of an action film. Jokes on you RogerEbert.com. I watched The Ice Road. I’m immune to Liam-Neeson-omnia.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_N9pU4FMOs/

(Is … Liam Neeson trying to do something like an American accent? Or is supposed to be an Irish person who works for the U.S. government and has been in the country for so long he’s vaguely lost his accent? Anyways, I unironically love that we’ve reached the point where Liam Neeson explicitly has a granddaughter who calls the action hero in the film “grandpa” in the trailer. A perfect encapsulation of the current state of Liam Neeson’s career.)

Directors – Mark Williams – ( Known For: A Family Man; Future BMT: Honest Thief; BMT: Blacklight; Notes: Kind of amazing we never watched Honest Thief. Executive Produced Ozark for which he was nominated for three Emmys.)

Writers – Nick May – (BMT: Blacklight; Notes: Nothing on IMDb, but if you search the trades you can find articles about this specific film. Kind of funny, but it looks like the update was right, May ultimately did get a writing credit on the film.)

Mark Williams – ( Known For: Copshop; Future BMT: Honest Thief; BMT: Blacklight; Notes: If the article above is to be believed him getting a writing credit is nuts, but then again, he did write some of it, probably re-wrote a bunch on set, and him not him getting a credit was probably unlikely.)

Brandon Reavis – (BMT: Blacklight; Notes: Nothing about this guy at all. Given he has a story credit I would imagine he is the writing partner of May in some capacity.)

Actors – Liam Neeson – ( Known For: Schindler’s List; Love Actually; The Dark Knight Rises; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Batman Begins; Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Taken; The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; Widows; The Lego Movie; Gangs of New York; Excalibur; Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones; The A-Team; The Commuter; Marlowe; The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian; Ted 2; Silence; Future BMT: Memory; Kingdom of Heaven; A Million Ways to Die in the West; Clash of the Titans; The Huntsman: Winter’s War; Daddy’s Home 2; The Marksman; Men in Black: International; Taken 2; Wrath of the Titans; Krull; Taken 3; Entourage; Honest Thief; High Spirits; Before and After; The Nut Job; BMT: Blacklight; Battleship; The Haunting; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 2013 for Battleship, and Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Y’all know Liam Neeson. Nominated for an Oscar for Schindler’s List. He was just announced as the main character in a Naked Gun remake that is happening.)

Aidan Quinn – ( Known For: Legends of the Fall; The Handmaid’s Tale; Flipped; Frankenstein; The Mission; Unknown; Benny & Joon; Wild Child; Desperately Seeking Susan; Michael Collins; Stakeout; Song for a Raggy Boy; Avalon; Haunted; Music of the Heart; At Play in the Fields of the Lord; If I Were You; Songcatcher; The Assignment; Elle s’appelait Sarah; Future BMT: Practical Magic; Reckless; In Dreams; Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius; BMT: Blacklight; Jonah Hex; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for An Early Frost and Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (both miniseries). He’s a classic “that guy”. He’s married to Elizabeth Bracco.)

Taylor John Smith – ( Known For: The Outpost; Shadow in the Cloud; Insidious: Chapter 3; You Get Me; Martyrs; Some Kind of Beautiful; Almost Friends; Wolves; Future BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; BMT: Blacklight; Hunter Killer; Notes: We’ll see him again in Where the Crawdads Sing. There is shockingly little about him. Probably most notable for being in Sharp Objects.)

Budget/Gross – $43 million / Domestic: $9,591,094 (Worldwide: $15,902,207)

(Disastrous, but that’s what happens when you have a bad action film. Could be a bit of Hollywood accounting here as well though since according to the article above there were pretty specific commitments about compensation tied to the profit this film made. But who knows. $43 million seems absurd for a 2022 Liam Neeson film. It feels fake.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (10/102): Turn it off.

(I actually genuinely hate the consensus. It makes little sense beyond that the word “light” is in the title. Anyways, actually a rare <10% Rotten Tomatoes film, although barely.)

Reviewer Highlight: One could even argue that it’s not a movie at all, only a rusted-out recycling bin of ill-fitting themes, notions, poses, conventions, affectations, tropes, tropelets and inert snippets of dialogue from other movies. – Joe Morgenstern, The Wall Street Journal

Poster – Skloglight

(I like the colors, but that’s about it. Tells me nothing about what I’m going to see, which is probably the point. Anyone who sees this poster and is intrigued is going to get exactly what they want: Old Man Neeson. C.)

Tagline(s) – They’re gonna need more men (C-)

(Meeehhhhhh. I guess it’s short in a somewhat pleasing way, but it’s far too generic to warrant any real credit. As a joke someone should take the last five Neeson films and photoshop the posters so they all have this tagline.)

Keyword(s) – year 2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Adam Project (2022), The Northman (2022), The Gray Man (2022)

Future BMT: 63.3 Firestarter (2022), 62.6 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 49.8 Umma (2022), 47.6 The Invitation (2022), 45.7 The 355 (2022), 44.2 Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), 37.7 Memory (2022), 24.7 Amsterdam (2022), 7.7 Black Adam (2022), 7.3 Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Blacklight (2022), After Ever Happy (2022), The King’s Daughter (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022)

Best Options (Action): 60.8 Blacklight (2022), 45.7 The 355 (2022), 44.2 Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), 37.7 Memory (2022), 7.7 Black Adam (2022)

(Yup, the best of the bunch. But no worries. Jurassic World 3 and Memory are both currently on the docket, so we will be hitting up a good number of bangers from the year.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 22) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Liam Neeson is No. 1 billed in Blacklight and No. 2 billed in The Haunting, which also stars Virginia Madsen (No. 9 billed) who is in Firewall (No. 3 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (9 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 22. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – The lowest rated Liam Neeson action film on Rotten Tomatoes

Principal photography of the film started in November 2020 in Melbourne, Australia. In January 2021 it was announced that a car chase scene would be filmed in Canberra.

A cinematic technique of fast zoom in, out and in again (or the opposite) are used to increase the suspense of the story and symbolize Block’s obsessional compulsive disorder.

After Ever Happy Preview

Kyle explains to Jamie that as a child he got explicit instructions from Sylvester Stallone to implant a simulation he wrote into Patrick’s car. Patrick knew that eventually Jamie would remember the one thing everyone knows about Patrick: massive gearhead. And Patrick knew a particular fact about Jamie: he will sing Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer when emotions are high. Sure you could bump into anyone on the street singing Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer. But get Jamie riled up and he’ll sing it again and again. And that’s what the simulation was designed to do, create a situation where Jamie feared the worst: the doomed fate of living out his remaining years as an elderly Frank Stallone. When Kyle heard the majestic tones of Frank Stallone’s voice singing “We got the afternoon. You got this room for two,” he had never heard anything more beautiful. Finally Jamie had returned. He takes Jamie back to his house and shows him the drawer where the Dongle has resided for many years. “And no one came to get it?” Jamie asks, curious. “Well, they came,” Kyle explains, “But then they left. I think… I think they didn’t understand how I could have such power and yet…” he sweeps his hand around his house and Jamie could see. The house wasn’t made entirely of glass or a work of modern art. Just a humble house full of love. No place for the Dongle to reside. “So are you ready?” Kyle asks and Jamie nods. “I’m a little sad that this means all this didn’t happen,” Kyle says, “But will you… remember me?” Just before the blinding light takes him back to reality Jamie tells Kyle to not worry, they’ll get him his happy ever after. That’s right! We are watching the fourth installment of everyone’s favorite After franchise. Hardin is back. Tessa is back. We are back. And yes, this did get released to theaters (duh). And yes, we are watching this in the Comedy slot of the cycle because we are being a little naughty (it’s after, after all… hey wait, that’s a good name for an entry in the franchise). Let’s go!

After Ever Happy (2022) – BMeTric: 45.0; Notability: 16

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.4%; Notability: top 10.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 0.0%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Moonfall, They/Them, Firestarter, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Morbius, Blacklight, Me Time, Pinocchio, Spiderhead, Deep Water, Umma, The Invitation, Senior Year, The 355; Higher Notability: Jurassic World: Dominion, Black Adam, Pinocchio, Amsterdam, Morbius, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, The King’s Daughter, Spiderhead, Don’t Worry Darling, The 355, Where the Crawdads Sing, Blacklight, Samaritan, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Memory, Firestarter, and 5 more; Notes: Yup, that’s a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Although, with only 6 reviews it is a tepid one.

Variety –  Either way, when that final “to be continued…” title appears  — and never has a girly, curly typeface looked more like a ransom note — it’s by far the most heart-clutching #Hessa moment so far, because we realize we’re still at least one whole movie away from release from our collective captivity to this absolute nonentity of a franchise. “All of us have demons,” husks the opening voiceover in “After Ever Happy.” That’s very true: The apparently unkillable “After” series is one of them, and it’s not done with us yet.

(My god. Anyways, I actually had to double up here because there was actually only one major review of this film and it was in Variety. This series is pure lunacy.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQ-5exgctI/

(My body is ready, but is my mind? Will it explode with the incredible passion they’ve managed to put onto screen? Can I handle how much of a bad boy Hardin is? Can Tessa fix this broken man once and for all? How many people does he punch? I’m on tenterhooks here!)

Directors – Castille Landon – ( Known For: Fear of Rain; BMT: After Ever Happy; After We Fell; Notes: A big Wattpad productions director she is also slated for the sequel as well, so we’ll get her own trilogy in the After franchise (at least). Also directing another Wattpad production, Perfect Addiction.)

Writers – Anna Todd – ( Known For: After We Collided; BMT: After Ever Happy; After; After We Fell; Notes: She wrote the After series on her phone on Wattpad. Basically, this series is the only thing which is keeping the lights on at Wattpad productions from what I can tell.)

Sharon Soboil – ( BMT: After Ever Happy; After We Fell; Notes: Currently not slated for the sequel. That appears to be written and directed by Castille Landon. A true Landon vision, finally.)

Actors – Josephine Langford – ( Known For: After We Collided; Gigi & Nate; Moxie; Future BMT: Wish Upon; BMT: After Ever Happy; After; After We Fell; Notes: She has been pretty much just acting in this. She has an upcoming film called The Other Zoe which is about amnesia and love or something.)

Hero Fiennes Tiffin – ( Known For: The Woman King; Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; After We Collided; The Silencing; Private Peaceful; Bigga Than Ben; BMT: After Ever Happy; After; After We Fell; Notes: I say this every time, but yes, he’s related to the Fiennes acting family. He’s actually in other films and has four films in production, so his career is maybe heating up.)

Louise Lombard – ( Known For: After We Collided; Hidalgo; Tale of the Mummy; My Kingdom; Lichnyy nomer; BMT: After Ever Happy; After We Fell; Notes: In the upcoming Oppenhiemer film. Was on People magazine’s list of the 50 Most Beautiful People in 1994.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $1,072,750 (Worldwide: $19,053,825)

(Wait … wait. Wait. No. But yes? So this was actually an odd duck. It was released widely for just two days in the US (September 7th and 8th). But then this seems to be a huge series in Germany or something? Because it made $4 million there alone! No wonder they still make these things, that probably is more than enough for a profit by itself.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 0% (0/6)

(There is really only one real review here. But here goes, let’s try a consensus: Nothing happens in this film. There is less than a bad episode of television worth of material, but yet you watch it all unfold in 90 minutes. The worst on screen romance in history.)

Reviewer Highlight: Can’t even charitably be said to be blah. It’s the space between the blahs. – Jessica Kiang, Variety

Poster – After After All

(Like the font and I like the framing or it all. But like… is it sexy enough? Am I wrong to kind of think this poster is for a not sexy movie? But that can’t be, can it? B-)

Tagline(s) – None

(Boooooooo. F. Let me give you one. Smooching is for the birds. Nailed it.)

Keyword(s) – year2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Adam Project (2022), The Northman (2022), The Gray Man (2022)

Future BMT: 63.3 Firestarter (2022), 62.6 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 60.8 Blacklight (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 49.8 Umma (2022), 47.6 The Invitation (2022), 45.7 The 355 (2022), 44.2 Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), 37.7 Memory (2022), 24.7 Amsterdam (2022), 7.7 Black Adam (2022), 7.3 Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), After Ever Happy (2022), The King’s Daughter (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022)

Best Options (Comedy): 24.7 Amsterdam (2022)

(Oh huh … that’s right! Since we couldn’t do Amsterdam (it’s the only chain reaction film!), we decided to classify After Ever Happy as a comedy. Isn’t it? I mean … I find it hilarious. So isn’t it? Funniest comedy of the year in my opinion.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 21) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Stephen Moyer is No. 7 billed in After Ever Happy and No. 10 billed in 88 Minutes, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (7 + 10) + (3 + 1) = 21. If we were to watch The Replacement Killers we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

The King’s Daughter Preview

Patrick’s beautiful mind has created a most beautiful simulation. Kyle and Jamie meet in billions of different ways. Some are hilarious, others somber dramas of loss and ennui. In one, Jamie has been turned into a rabbit. At one point, Patrick is brought to tears as he witnesses Jamie live a full life of love, dying in the arms of his beloved on his 101st birthday. Through his tears he witnesses over and over again the solution to their problem. He scribbles down a full list of instructions for Kyle. He presses the piece of paper into his tiny hand and tells him everything he needs to know and bids him adieu. With that he sits down with the pile of scripts waiting on Stallone’s desk… he’s got all the time in the world, so he can really craft a masterpiece.

Kyle’s eyes gleam as he looks at Patrick’s kick ass Pontiac Trans Am. “He literally never stopped talking about this car. Just a giant gear head for sure,” Jamie says, shaking his head. Kyle nods. It was true. If there was one thing everyone knew about Partick it was that he was a giant gear head. “Hello, Frank,” the car says, startling Jamie. When did the car start talking? “So he’s just Frank, not Jamie?” Kyle asks anxiously. The car says nothing and Kyle turns to Jamie sadly. He picks up a bunch of pebbles and starts pelting Jamie with them. “Get out of here, you idiot,” he yells, tears streaming down his face. “You spider… you stupid head.” Jamie is scared by this turn of events. Not knowing what else to do he begins to sing Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer again and Kyle stops. He wipes his eyes. “It really is you,” he smiles.

That’s right! We are nearing the end of our 2022 journey heading into the current year cycle. They really did have all the time in the world crafting one of the more bizarre releases of the year in The King’s Daughter. Filming began in 2014 for this film and so obviously all that time created a beautiful BMT diamond for us to gaze upon. We ended up pairing this film with Spiderhead. Probably the biggest non-theatrical release of the year below 40% RT. I kinda thought it looked good. Let’s go!

The King’s Daughter (2022) – BMeTric: 34.1; Notability: 30

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 9.2%; Notability: top 4.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 5.0%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Moonfall, Firestarter, They/Them, Morbius, Me Time, Blacklight, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Pinocchio, Spiderhead, Deep Water, Umma, Senior Year, The Invitation, The 355, After Ever Happy, Jurassic World Dominion, Samaritan, Persuasion, and 3 more; Higher Notability: Jurassic World Dominion, Black Adam, Pinocchio, Morbius, Amsterdam, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto; Lower RT: Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, After Ever Happy, Me Time, Blacklight, Firestarter, Morbius, Paradise Highway, Home Team; Notes: Good stuff. Blacklight, Firestarter, and After Ever Happy are on the docket, so well start cleaning up the lower RT ones for sure. The BMeT seems to be dominated as usual by very bad streaming films.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – “The King’s Daughter” has been kicking around as a potential project ever since the book on which it is based, Vonda McIntyre’s novel The Moon and the Sun, was published in 1997 (winning the Nebula over a little-known book called Game of Thrones). It’s not hard to see why this story would have so much appeal. There is a strong female central character, and the book blends together historical fact and supernatural-fantasy, using the Versailles court of Louis XIV, the “Sun King,” as backdrop. Jim Henson Pictures expressed interest in the story, as did Disney. Natalie Portman was attached at one point in the early aughts. None of it came to anything, although the property continued to change hands. The only reason this background matters is that “The King’s Daughter,” directed by Sean McNamara, released on this day in the year 2022, was actually shot in 2014, and slated for a 2015 release. To call this a “new release” is to stretch the truth into absurdity.

(This really is one of the more bizarre releases in recent memory. As they ask in the review: who is this for? For what purpose is this released to theaters? Was it just that in January 2022 there was a gap in the schedule with covid still around and so the production studio took a flier on something with almost nothing to lose? It seems that way. Maybe the rare case in which something was released widely because of the pandemic instead of in spite of it.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjGSWdmVVHM/

(Nonsensical. Just disparate things edited together with a pop music soundtrack. Exciting stuff.)

Directors – Sean McNamara – ( Known For: Soul Surfer; The Miracle Season; Spare Parts; 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain; Cats & Dogs 3: Paws Unite; Field of Lost Shoes; P.U.N.K.S.; Aliens Stole My Body; Treehouse Hostage; Mighty Oak; Cody the Robosapien; Space Warriors; The Legend of Galgameth; Race to Space; Future BMT: Raise Your Voice; BMT: The King’s Daughter; Bratz; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for producing That’s So Raven. His filmography is bonkers. He directed things like the straight-to-video sequels to Baby Geniuses. No wonder this film looks the way it does.)

Writers – Barry Berman – ( Known For: Benny & Joon; Future BMT: The Adventures of Pinocchio; BMT: The King’s Daughter; Notes: Strange career. I think it is probable that he wrote his version of the screenplay in the early 2000s when the book was first optioned, since his last feature film was made in 2000 previously.)

James Schamus – ( Known For: Hulk; Lust, Caution; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon; The Ice Storm; Eat Drink Man Woman; Ride with the Devil; Indignation; Taking Woodstock; The Wedding Banquet; Pushing Hands; BMT: The King’s Daughter; Notes: Nominated for three Oscars, two for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and one for producing Brokeback Mountain. Well known for his collaborations with Ang Lee.)

Vonda N. McIntyre – (BMT: The King’s Daughter; Notes: Odd one. She’s the writer of the book which won the Nebula Prize in 1997. Odd because she doesn’t have a TMDb profile at all, so it screws up all my algorithms. Get on that TMDb!)

Actors – Pierce Brosnan – ( Known For: GoldenEye; The World Is Not Enough; Mars Attacks!; Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief; Mamma Mia!; The Mirror Crack’d; Cinderella; The World’s End; Tomorrow Never Dies; Die Another Day; Mrs. Doubtfire; The Foreigner; Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga; Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again; No Escape; The Thomas Crown Affair; The Ghost Writer; The Misfits; The Only Living Boy in New York; False Positive; Future BMT: Black Adam; Remember Me; Dante’s Peak; The November Man; After the Sunset; Laws of Attraction; I Don’t Know How She Does It; Love Affair; BMT: The King’s Daughter; The Lawnmower Man; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for Mamma Mia! in 2009; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for The World Is Not Enough in 2000; Notes: Y’all know Brosnan. Famously couldn’t play James Bond due to commitments to Remington Steel (and possibly odd contract conditions like not being able to wear a tuxedo outside of Remington Steel). But then they want back to him in the 90s when working on Goldeneye.)

Kaya Scodelario – ( Known For: Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile; The Maze Runner; Moon; Crawl; Maze Runner: The Death Cure; Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials; Don’t Make Me Go; Wuthering Heights; Now Is Good; Spike Island; Tiger House; The Truth About Emanuel; Shank; Twenty8k; Future BMT: Clash of the Titans; BMT: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City; The King’s Daughter; Notes: In 2014 when this was shot she would have been shooting Maze Runner and just coming off of Skins. So the casting makes a bit more sense in that context instead of her current status as the lead in a defunct Resident Evil franchise.)

William Hurt – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Robin Hood; The Incredible Hulk; Black Widow; Captain America: Civil War; Into the Wild; The Village; Body Heat; A History of Violence; A.I. Artificial Intelligence; The Good Shepherd; Dark City; Altered States; The Big Chill; Mr. Brooks; Eyewitness; Tuck Everlasting; Broadcast News; Syriana; Future BMT: Vantage Point; Michael; Trial by Jury; BMT: The King’s Daughter; The Host; Lost in Space; Winter’s Tale; Notes: Died in March. Was nominated for Best Actor three years in a row (1986 he won for Kiss of the Spider Woman, 1987 he was nominated for Children of a Lesser God, and 1988 he was nominated for Broadcast News). Also nominated for Supporting Actor in 2006 for A History of Violence. Nominated twice for Emmys as well.)

Budget/Gross – $40 million / Domestic: $1,758,963 (Worldwide: $2,204,327)

(My god. Again, why even bother to release this? Was it a clause in a contract or something. There is no way it makes more money than dumping it on streaming right? Or do studios get paid by theaters to play movies or something? It makes no sense.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (13/65): A muddled mess that was clearly tinkered with in post-production to little avail, The King’s Daughter is a royal disappointment.

(Tinkered?! The first 30 minutes of this film are an editor’s nightmare. Clearly just 40 disparate 3 minute long scenes strung together to try and build up an otherwise non-existent story. That isn’t tinkering. That’s an abomination.)

Reviewer Highlight: The King’s Daughter might be more fascinating than the movie itself, which has its moments of campy delights but is eventually sunk by the meandering story, some over-the-top performances and underwhelming special effects. – Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times

Poster – The King’s Sklogger

(Look at Brosnan’s flowing locks! The poster certainly tells a story. Just not one I want to look at. I guess I like the gold font on the blue background. C+.)

Tagline(s) – A King. His Daughter. A Hidden World. (C-)

(This tagline is telling us things already explained by the title of the movie. It’s got the structure of a tagline, but somehow really doesn’t work.)

Keyword(s) – past

Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), Forrest Gump (1994), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Django Unchained (2012), Gladiator (2000), Inglourious Basterds (2009), Saving Private Ryan (1998), Schindler’s List (1993), The Prestige (2006), Shutter Island (2010)

Future BMT: 88.7 BloodRayne (2005), 73.0 The Unborn (2009), 70.5 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.2 Black Christmas (2006), 67.4 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 66.0 The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014), 64.6 The Final Destination (2009), 62.1 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 59.8 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 56.8 Robin Hood (2018), 55.1 Annabelle (2014), 54.9 The Quiet Ones (2014), 54.5 Snow Dogs (2002), 53.8 Spy Hard (1996), 53.2 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.4 2016: Obama’s America (2012), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 51.6 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 50.3 Halloween Kills (2021), 50.2 The Last Legion (2007)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), The Fog (2005), Movie 43 (2013), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Glitter (2001), Holmes & Watson (2018), The Master of Disguise (2002), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Grease 2 (1982), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Jonah Hex (2010), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Wild Wild West (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Black Knight (2001), Chernobyl Diaries (2012), A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), The Musketeer (2001), An American Haunting (2005), Apollo 18 (2011), Ishtar (1987), The Curse of La Llorona (2019), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Pinocchio (2002), The Nun (2018), Bolero (1984), Bones (2001), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), House of Wax (2005), Season of the Witch (2011), The Tuxedo (2002), Mannequin: On the Move (1991), Pompeii (2014), Ghost Ship (2002), Assassin’s Creed (2016), The Scarlet Letter (1995), Dolittle (2020), Timeline (2003), The Quest (1996), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019), Wagons East (1994), The Three Musketeers (2011), Diana (2013), Ben-Hur (2016), Rambo III (1988), Around the World in 80 Days (2004), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), The Blue Lagoon (1980), Cutthroat Island (1995), Texas Rangers (2001), The King’s Daughter (2022), Sucker Punch (2011), Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001), Jobs (2013), Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004), Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), Original Sin (2001), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), American Outlaws (2001), Universal Soldier (1992), Winter’s Tale (2014), Harlem Nights (1989), I Dreamed of Africa (2000), Pearl Harbor (2001), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Identical (2014), The Chamber (1996), The Marrying Man (1991), Wild Bill (1995), In Love and War (1996), Sleepaway Camp (1983), Gods and Generals (2003), The Lone Ranger (2013), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017), Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), Halloween II (1981), September Dawn (2007), Young Guns II (1990), Oscar (1991), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Evening (2007), The 13th Warrior (1999), White Comanche (1968), Gangster Squad (2013), Now and Then (1995), A Dog’s Purpose (2017)

Best Options (year2022): 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 34.2 The King’s Daughter (2022), 20.6 Amsterdam (2022), 7.3 Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

(There really wasn’t much to choose from here. I promise you, we would have never watched this film if not for the fact that it was the only bad film released in 2022 set in the past.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Kaya Scodelario is No. 2 billed in The King’s Daughter and No. 1 billed in Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City, which also stars Neal McDonough (No. 7 billed) who is in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (No. 3 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (2 + 1) + (7 + 3) + (2 + 2) = 17. If we were to watch Laws of Attraction, and Next we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Filmed in 2014, it remained unreleased until 2022.

The film was partly filmed in the Palace of Versailles, which included a huge dance sequence filmed inside the Hall of Mirrors. They had to film it at night, when the tourists weren’t around, and struggled to finish it up by 5:30 a.m.

Filming wrapped in May 2014 and a release date was set for April 2015. However a series of events starting with the studios lack of enthusiasm with the cut they were originally presented with followed by Fan Bingbing getting into trouble with the Chinese authorities for non payment of taxes had impeded this film’s release. As the film featured a then major star in Chinese cinema and Chinese investors stumped up 50% of the budget, her income tax issues and the negative publicity in China effectively killed her career there and with it any chance of a lucrative Chinese release. With Pierce Brosnan as the only international star in the cast and without a major studio to back the release campaign the film sat on the shelf for nearly eight years.

Benjamin Walker (Yves De La Croix) is married to Kaya Scodelario (Marie-Josephe D’Alember).

The final film of his to be released while William Hurt was alive, however, it was far from the final film he shot as it was shot 8 years prior to its release and Hurt’s death.

The second time Julie Andrews narrated a film, as she narrated Enchanted (2007).

The 1997 source novel by Vonda N. McIntyre: ”The Moon & the Sun”, was awarded the Nebula Award for Best Sci-fi Novel, besting the George R.R. Martin novel which would generate the Game of Thrones (2011) series.

The film rights for the source Vonda N. McIntyre novel ”The Moon & the Sun” were purchased in 1999 by Jim Henson Productions, with Broadway director Christopher Renshaw was announced as making his cinematic debut. Henson associate Bill Mechanic reportedly brought the project with him to Disney who signed Mechanic as a producer in 2001 and a 2002 start date with Natalie Portman as star was announced, but did not eventuate.

Prey for the Devil Preview

5 Years before (and 36 years later)…

Kyle hears a knock at the door and puts down his glasses. It’s been many years since he saw Partrick and Jamie, but every time he hears a knock he can’t help but think it might be them. As he walks to the door he pats the head of his youngest child, now a teenager and almost out of the house. What will he do when they’ve all left the nest? Perhaps teach. He’s always wanted to teach. When he opens the door there is a man there that Kyle doesn’t recognize. Or… at least he doesn’t think he does. If he didn’t know better he would have thought the man could be Jamie and Patrick’s fraternal triplet. “May I help you?” he asks warily. “Kyle, thank God I found you,” the man says out of breath, “It’s me, Helmut. The Dongle? Do you still have it? It’s our only chance to save Jamie and Patrick.” But before he even finishes talking Kyle’s face has gone blank. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” and calmly closes the door. The knocking continues with more urgency. Kyle sighs and opens the door again. The man opens his mouth, but Kyle stops him. “I don’t know what you want from me. Jamie and Patrick disappeared years ago and took whatever you’re looking for with them. I’ve moved on. So should you.” The man is stunned. He begins to speak, but when he looks around Kyle’s humble home built on love and happiness he shrugs. Anyone could see this is no place for the Dongle. After the man walks away Kyle closes the door, tears just beginning to tumble down his face. “Curse you, Jamie and Patrick. You devils,” he thinks… but he doesn’t mean it. That’s right! Another BMT Live interlude. It’s the last of the year and Halloween time, so you know we had to grab the worst reviewed horror film of the season and go to town. This year it’s Prey for the Devil. Another possession film notch on our belt. Let’s go!

Prey for the Devil (2022) – BMeTric: 15.2; Notability: 12

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 12.0%; Notability: top 12.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.9%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Moonfall, Firestarter, They/Them, Morbius, Me Time, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Blacklight, Pinocchio, Spiderhead, Deep Water, Umma, Senior Year, The Invitation, The 355, After Ever Happy, Jurassic World Dominion, Samaritan, Persuasion, and 10 more; Higher Notability: Jurassic World Dominion, Black Adam, Pinocchio, Morbius, Amsterdam, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, Spiderhead, Don’t Worry Darling, The 355, Where the Crawdads Sing, Blacklight, Samaritan, Paradise Highway, Memory, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Firestarter, and 10 more; Lower RT: Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, After Ever Happy, Me Time, Blacklight, Firestarter, Morbius, Paradise Highway, Home Team; Notes: Small potatoes, but those are the meat and potatoes of Horror in general, so it makes sense. It’ll grow a bit, but 12 notability seems right. There are like 12 people total in the film.

Variety – Twelve years ago director Daniel Stamm was considered in some quarters as having revivified a subgenre with “The Last Exorcism.” That sleeper hit that was no classic, but it took itself seriously in the right ways, as put across by a good cast including the estimable (and still underused) Ashley Bell. Since 2014’s less successful “13 Sins,” he’s been occupied with episodic TV work. Unsurprisingly, his first feature in eight years marks a return to the general terrain that worked for him before.

(Ahhhhhh, so that’s why this film exists. Because Stamm did it before, and they think he can do it again. That makes so much sense.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkEnG6inG4c/

(We’ve seen this film before right? I feel like, exorcism class has been in a film before. A young girl being possessed in exorcism school too right? Is there just general consensus about what exorcism looks like, or is it directly from The Exorcist? So many questions.)

Directors – Daniel Stamm – ( Known For: The Last Exorcism; 13 Sins; BMT: Prey for the Devil; Notes: German. Has mostly been doing television shows for the last decade (as far as credits are concerned). This is his first feature since 13 Sins in 2014.)

Writers – Robert Zappia – ( Known For: Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; BMT: Prey for the Devil; Notes: Wrote on Home Improvement, and a bunch of sitcoms originally. Has been doing straight to video and shorts for the better part of two decades as well.)

Todd R. Jones and Earl Richey Jones – ( Known For: Rio; Future BMT: Johnson Family Vacation; BMT: Prey for the Devil; Notes: What a wild set of writers for this film, these guys basically only did kids’ programming until this film, a horror film. Bizarre.)

Actors – Jacqueline Byers – ( Known For: Bad Samaritan; Full Out; Blizzard; Ordinary Days; BMT: Prey for the Devil; Notes: Mostly a television actress, she was one of the primary actors in the show Salvation.)

Virginia Madsen – ( Known For: Candyman; Candyman; Dune; Sideways; The Rainmaker; Joy; Better Watch Out; The Hot Spot; The Prophecy; Her Smell; Operation Christmas Drop; Electric Dreams; The Magic of Belle Isle; Ghosts of Mississippi; A Prairie Home Companion; Fire with Fire; The Astronaut Farmer; Dead Rising: Watchtower; Slam Dance; Zombie High; Future BMT: Class; Creator; BMT: Prey for the Devil; The Haunting; Red Riding Hood; The Haunting in Connecticut; The Number 23; Highlander II: The Quickening; Firewall; Hot to Trot; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Sideways in 2005. She, like her brother Michael Madsen, have an interesting tendency of getting character actor parts in huge productions, but also being in terrible small-time productions as well. Interesting careers both of them.)

Colin Salmon – ( Known For: Nobody; The World Is Not Enough; Tomorrow Never Dies; Die Another Day; Match Point; Exam; The Bank Job; Loving Pablo; Zone 414; Blood: The Last Vampire; Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons – The Movie; Immortality; The Statement; Captives; Devil’s Playground; Shank; Clubbed; How to Stop Being a Loser; Freeze Frame; My Kingdom; Future BMT: Resident Evil; Mortal Engines; Criminal; Resident Evil: Retribution; BMT: Prey for the Devil; Alien vs. Predator; London Has Fallen; Punisher: War Zone; Notes: I recognized him immediately. But from what? Midsomer Murders. He was in one episodes, but jokes on you, I’ve seen all of the episodes. Apparently he suggested Brosnan as a good candidate for Bond, he’s a beloved British actor.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $2,800,000 (Worldwide: $2,800,000)

(We won’t really know how it did for a bit, but I would guess it is going to do terribly in the end. I just don’t see how “just another exorcism movie” breaks through. Then again, it might have cost $1 million to make, who knows.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (4/20)

(A consensus: Not scary (but can a PG-13 film really be scary?), this film is merely Exorcist cliches all strung together. We’ve seen this film before … several times.)

Reviewer Highlight: Its dominant thematic threads are at war with one another, shambling around as one story wears the flesh and appearance of another, leaving neither premise wholly intact in a film with the meat stripped from its bones. – Leigh Monson, AV Club

Poster – Cray for the Devil

(I like that this is kind of a classic poster in that it clearly serves a cinema specific purpose. A striking image for people to walk by and be like ‘oh, maybe I’ll see that crazy hair devil movie.’ I just wish it was even more classic with a nice color scheme and better font (although not the worst in that regard). B-)

Tagline(s) – It wants in. (C-)

(Ehhhhh, this is just too generic for me to give it much credit. Could be the tagline for any number of possession films.)

Keyword(s) – year2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), The Adam Project (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Gray Man (2022), The Northman (2022)

Future BMT: 63.0 Firestarter (2022), 60.2 Blacklight (2022), 59.6 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 49.1 Umma (2022), 46.3 The Invitation (2022), 45.6 The 355 (2022), 44.3 After Ever Happy (2022), 44.2 Jurassic World Dominion (2022), 37.4 Memory (2022), 34.2 The King’s Daughter (2022), 20.6 Amsterdam (2022), 7.4 Black Adam (2022), 7.3 Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022)

(And there we are, BMT Live complete for the year. We will likely watch Firestarter, Blacklight, Memory, After Ever Happy, Jurassic World Dominion, The King’s Daughter and a few more as well. Still not a super great haul (18 at the moment) so we’ll see if a real cycle can be made from that.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Virginia Madsen is No. 7 billed in Prey for the Devil and No. 3 billed in Firewall, which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (7 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 17. There is no shorter path at the moment.Notes – Ben Cross died of cancer on August 18th, 2020

Notes – Ben Cross died of cancer on August 18th, 2020