writing team – Page 3 – Bad Movie Twins

The Wedding Planner Preview

Jamie and Patrick sit in their cell. Having kicked Kevin James’ head clean off it’s not a surprise they were arrested, but they are still in a bit of shock. “Looks like you’ll be going to jail for a looong time. Hoooo weeeee,” the jailor at the Smith County Jail whistles in delight, “You kicked his head clean off. Boy oh boy, what I wouldn’t give to see that again.” Just as he begins to reminisce he hears a call from the other room. Turns out there was extensive footage from the event taken from cell phone cameras and security footage. It’s already been edited into a 30 minute short film available online and is an early front runner for Best Documentary Short. He rushes into the other room to relive the greatest moment of his life. Jamie and Patrick sigh. Just then the Smith County judge walks in. “Bad Movie Twins,” he scowls, “you kicked a man’s head clean off and I think you know that you deserve to be in jail for a looong time.” Everyone in the room nods. “In fact, if I had it my way,” he continues, “you’d get the ‘lectric chair.” Again, everyone kind of agrees. Kevin James was a national treasure. “But,” he unexpectedly continues, “there is a little known precedent set in fair use law that states that while parody is protected under the first amendment, kicking the head clean off of the person doing the parody is, in itself, a parody… and so it is protected under the law.” With that he frees Jamie and Patrick, much to the delight of the crowd. A female police officer rushes up to Jamie. “Marry me!” she screams and Jamie shrugs. Sure, why not? A celebrity wedding appears to be what the people want. That’s right! We are watching the JLo classic, The Wedding Planner. Who can even remember anyone else in it. JLo! Let’s go!

The Wedding Planner (2001) – BMeTric: 57.2; Notability: 47

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.0%; Notability: top 13.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 14.3%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Valentine, Monkeybone, The Musketeer, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Wedding Planner; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Monkeybone, Hannibal, Impostor, Not Another Teen Movie, Ghosts of Mars, Bubble Boy, Scary Movie 2, Swordfish, 15 Minutes, The One, The Affair of the Necklace, Town & Country, I Am Sam, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, 3000 Miles to Graceland, Don’t Say a Word, Texas Rangers, and 13 more; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Head Over Heels, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Perfume, The Musketeer, Valentine, Double Take, and 14 more; Notes: Aw hell yeah, it isn’t every day we can hit up a high profile early 2000s bad movie classic. And guess what? The Animal? It’s on the docket. Although that one I’ve seen … like 4 times. I saw it in theaters.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Jennifer Lopez looks soulfully into the eyes of Matthew McConaughey, but is he looking back? One of the many problems of “The Wedding Planner” is that we can’t tell and don’t much care. When a plot depends on two people falling in love when they absolutely should not, we have to be able to believe at some level that they have been swept up by a destiny beyond their control. McConaughey seems less inflamed by his sudden new romance than resigned to it.

(Hahahahahaha, hell yeah. That sounds hilarious. Like, a romcom where everyone kind of sucks?)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PN6Hx1sQA/

(They do a good job making them not seem like horrible people in a way. But man … J-Lo is distracting. Don’t worry, I get very deep into it in the recap. Some people would argue too deep. Way too deep.)

Directors – Adam Shankman – ( Known For: Hairspray; Disenchanted; Rock of Ages; What Men Want; Future BMT: Bedtime Stories; BMT: A Walk to Remember; The Pacifier; The Wedding Planner; Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Bringing Down the House; Notes: He was nominated for two Emmys, both for organizing the 2010 Academy Awards ceremony.)

Writers – Pamela Falk – ( Known For: An Invisible Sign; BMT: The Wedding Planner; Notes: Those are her only credits, and there isn’t any other info on her online.)

Michael Ellis – ( BMT: The Wedding Planner; Notes: The only other thing in either of their profiles is an untitled Falk/Ellis project, so I assume there are writing partners in some capacity.)

Actors – Jennifer Lopez – ( Known For: The Mother; Shotgun Wedding; Hustlers; The Cell; Marry Me; Home; Out of Sight; Parker; Selena; U Turn; Second Act; Jersey Girl; Antz; Shall We Dance; An Unfinished Life; My Family; Bordertown; Lila & Eve; Blood and Wine; El cantante; Future BMT: Enough; Maid in Manhattan; Monster-in-Law; Jack; Ice Age: Continental Drift; Ice Age: Collision Course; Angel Eyes; The Back-up Plan; Feel the Noise; BMT: The Boy Next Door; The Wedding Planner; Anaconda; Gigli; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Money Train; Notes: Man we have a ton to go. Nominated for an Emmy for the Superbowl Halftime show. Originally I wanted to do this film because I was convinced it was the subject of one really old episode of a podcast I missed … turned out that was Maid in Manhattan.)

Matthew McConaughey – ( Known For: Interstellar; The Wolf of Wall Street; The Gentlemen; Dazed and Confused; Sing 2; A Time to Kill; Tropic Thunder; Contact; Sing; Magic Mike; Dallas Buyers Club; How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; We Are Marshall; Mud; The Lincoln Lawyer; Frailty; Reign of Fire; White Boy Rick; Killer Joe; Amistad; Future BMT: Angels in the Outfield; The Dark Tower; Sahara; Two for the Money; Paparazzi; My Boyfriend’s Back; Larger Than Life; BMT: The Wedding Planner; Tiptoes; Fool’s Gold; Failure to Launch; Serenity; Ghosts of Girlfriends Past; Notes: Won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club. Famously from Houston. At one point he was rumored to be running for governor of Texas in 2022, but he didn’t.)

Bridgette Wilson-Sampras – ( Known For: Billy Madison; Higher Learning; Nixon; Shopgirl; Buying the Cow; The Real Blonde; The Suburbans; Unhook the Stars; Phantom Punch; Nevada; Starstruck; Future BMT: Last Action Hero; House on Haunted Hill; Beautiful; Just Visiting; Love Stinks; BMT: Mortal Kombat; I Know What You Did Last Summer; The Wedding Planner; Extreme Ops; Notes: As you can tell by her name she married Pete Sampras, best tennis player of all time (or so we thought in like 2004 …). They have two children, the first of which should be out of college, and appears to be a model.)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $60,400,856 (Worldwide: $94,728,529)

(That’s kind of okay. Not anything spectacular at the time, but fine for a romantic comedy I would think.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (18/106): Instead of being light and charming, this romantic comedy is heavy-handed and contrived in its execution. Also, it’s too unoriginal.

(I would think all romantic comedies are unoriginal in their own way. The most successful ones always seem to be remakes.)

Reviewer Highlight: Title character falls for handsome client. Star charisma almost makes it work.

Poster – xXx: The Wedding Xander

(Woof. And I mean, woof! That is everything bad in poster making. I usually refrain from saying this, because I’m an untalented fool. But… I could make a better poster for The Wedding Planner. F… I actually do think this is an F. It’s like a child made it.)

Tagline(s) – A romantic comedy about love, destiny and other events you just can’t plan for. (F)

(Is it done yet? Have they finished the tagline? Everything about that poster is a horror show.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.6 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), Zookeeper (2011), The Sweetest Thing (2002), Truth or Dare (2018), Jupiter Ascending (2015), Grown Ups 2 (2013), License to Wed (2007), The Wedding Planner (2001), Tom & Jerry (2021), Point Break (2015), After (2019), Batman Forever (1995), Congo (1995), House of Wax (2005), Down to You (2000), Bride Wars (2009), The Ring Two (2005), Killers (2010), The Tuxedo (2002), I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009), The Hustle (2019), Vampire Academy (2014), Bulletproof Monk (2003), Baywatch (2017), … (and many more)

Best Options (Romance): 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 61.9 Obsessed (2009), 57.5 Maid in Manhattan (2002), 57.2 The Wedding Planner (2001), 55.3 The Back-up Plan (2010), 54.8 Honey (2003), 53.1 Aloha (2015), 52.6 Just My Luck (2006), 52.1 Loser (2000), 51.7 View from the Top (2003), 51.0 Little Fockers (2010), 49.9 Just Married (2003), 49.4 Monster-in-Law (2005), 48.1 Stomp the Yard (2007), 47.0 On the Line (2001), 46.7 You, Me and Dupree (2006), 46.5 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002), 45.5 I Feel Pretty (2018), 43.3 John Tucker Must Die (2006), 43.2 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (2003), 40.7 Mr. Deeds (2002), 40.6 The Break-Up (2006), 38.0 Whatever It Takes (2000), 37.7 Think Like a Man Too (2014), 36.5 A Cinderella Story (2004), 33.8 The Other Woman (2014), 33.8 Along Came Polly (2004), 33.3 Peeples (2013), 33.2 The Last Song (2010), 31.3 My Life in Ruins (2009), 31.2 Overboard (2018), 28.3 Chasing Liberty (2004), 26.9 Step Up 2: The Streets (2008), 24.8 Meet the Fockers (2004), 24.5 Dear John (2010), 21.9 The Ugly Truth (2009), 21.6 The Giver (2014), 21.5 The Lucky One (2012), 20.9 Charlie St. Cloud (2010), 19.1 Life as We Know It (2010), 16.9 The Beach (2000), 14.9 Grumpier Old Men (1995), 12.7 The Vow (2012), 9.3 P.S. I Love You (2007), 9.0 The Longest Ride (2015), 7.8 Remember Me (2010)

(That’s pretty good … wait, why didn’t we do Maid in Manhattan!? That’s the one I wanted to do anyways. I guess I just didn’t realize both qualified or something.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jennifer Lopez is No. 1 billed in The Wedding Planner and No. 2 billed in Gigli, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 11. If we were to watch Two for the Money we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – Jennifer Love Hewitt was developing a separate film with the same premise for her to star in but was forced to cancel the project when this film was released.

Bree Turner, who plays the bride needing comforting by Jennifer Lopez at the beginning of the movie, also opened another wedding movie, as a bridesmaid in the opening title sequence performance in My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997). Fan theories claim it was her playing the same character, still unlucky in love.

Franny’s Mother, played by Joanna Gleason, sings very badly in the movie and is asked numerous times by her daughter not to sing. In fact, Gleason has a very good singing voice and has appeared in several Broadway musicals, including “Into the Woods” for which she won the 1988 Tony Award for Best Actress in a Musical.

Brendan Fraser was set to play the role of Dr. Steve/Eddie, but scheduling conflicts with filming the movie Bedazzled (2000) prevented him.

Sarah Michelle Gellar was originally set to star, but had to drop out because of scheduling conflicts from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress of the Decade (Jennifer Lopez)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Jennifer Lopez)

Clash of the Titans (2010) Preview

“Why are we still here?” asks Jamie, a dark pall hanging over his features. “Because,” Michael explains, “you are meant to reconnect with people. Kevin James connects with people. If you understand that then we can leave. Beep boop” Patrick scoffs. “I think the answer to that starts with a ‘D’ and ends with an ‘uh.’ We aren’t total idiots, we know Paul Blart was a sensation.” They get up to leave. “Is that so?” Michael robot scoffs right back at them, “Then why did you spend,” he pauses, a mechanical whirring sound intensifying as he performs a quick numerical calculation, “1,146 words talking about Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 on BadMovieTwins.com and conclude, and I quote, ‘it’s trash.’ Beep boop?” This robot is asking for another punch to its robot chest. Jamie and Patrick clench their fists, but eventually sit back down. When he’s right, he’s right… and also they installed a titanium plate over his chest in the rebuild. Their fists would likely splinter in a cloud of pink mist if they attempted a similar punch a second time. They turn their attention back at the stage where Kevin James has launched into his third (and hopefully final) impression of who he calls Itch and Blow: The Dope-elgangers. The crowd is loving it. “Look at my abs! Look at my greasy abs!” Kevin James is screaming and the crowd wails. “Oh man, my balls are itchy,” he continues as Itch. The crowd gobbles it up. Jamie and Patrick grit their teeth and laugh along with the crowd. Whatever it takes to satisfy Michael. It’s working until Kevin James looks at them again and mouths “You stink, Bad Movie Twins.” That’s it! “Let’s pound some dweebs,” they say in unison, getting up from their chairs. That’s right! It’s a double this week with Clash of the Titans and Wrath of the Titans. If you wondered what Sam Worthington used his Avatar cache on, well… it was this. Let’s go!

Clash of the Titans (2010) – BMeTric: 41.2; Notability: 110

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 15.2%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 23.8%; Higher BMeT: The Last Airbender, Vampires Suck, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Skyline, Sex and the City 2, Furry Vengeance, Jonah Hex, Marmaduke, Gulliver’s Travels, Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, Yogi Bear, Tekken, My Soul to Take, Tooth Fairy, Legion, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Passion Play, The Back-up Plan, Why Did I Get Married Too?, Killers, and 18 more; Lower RT: Tekken, Passion Play, Twelve, 6 Souls, Shanghai, Vampires Suck, Dylan Dog: Dead of Night, The Last Airbender, The Tortured, Waiting for Forever, 13, Furry Vengeance, Crazy on the Outside, Saw 3D, Marmaduke, Little Fockers, My Soul to Take, Killers, Grown Ups, Virginia, and 38 more; Notes: My god. A 100+ Notability. There can’t be very many of those we haven’t seen. Although we do tend to avoid the barely-qualifying big boys in general. Case in point: Justice League, coming up.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – There are too many Greek gods for me to keep straight, since as a child I didn’t have action figures as a learning tool. I was prepared to take notes during “Clash of the Titans” but only wrote down a single one: “Release the Kraken!” — Conan O’Brien. I know I was intended to be terrified by the release of the Kraken, but all I could think of was O’Brien shouting “Release the bear!” and then some guy in a bear suit runs out and sits on the lap of a guest. In this case, the Kraken is the nuclear option for Zeus, who has been persuaded by Hades to put down a revolt by the upstart mortals of Argos.

(Genuinely good review. I think that makes sense. The first is an adaptation of a good movie, and an adaptation of a real myth. It really depends on how much you can tolerate CGI nonsense. And at this point Ebert happily tolerated a bunch of that.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfyunOnMGqM/

(Possibly the most iconic line in trailer history? Which is bizarre to think about. Anyways, it looks rad, but I hate the heavy metal soundtrack. Hate hate hate it.)

Directors – Louis Leterrier – ( Known For: Fast X; The Incredible Hulk; Now You See Me; The Transporter; Transporter 2; Unleashed; The Takedown; Future BMT: The Brothers Grimsby; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Notes: Won an Emmy for The Dark Crystal television show. And as you can see, in the news now since he is the director of Fast X.)

Writers – Travis Beacham – ( Known For: Pacific Rim; Pacific Rim: Uprising; Dog Days of Summer; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Notes: Mostly has been writing for TV recently, specifically Carnival Row.)

Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi – ( Known For: The Invitation; Destroyer; Crazy/Beautiful; BMT: Clash of the Titans; R.I.P.D.; Æon Flux; Ride Along; The Tuxedo; Ride Along 2; Notes: Also mostly television writers now, although in this case on a show I’ve never heard of, The Mysterious Benedict Society.)

Beverley Cross – ( Known For: Clash of the Titans; Jason and the Argonauts; Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger; The Long Ships; Genghis Khan; Half a Sixpence; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Nominated for several Tony Awards in 1965 for Half a Sixpence. Wrote the original Clash of the Titans, and was married to Maggie Smith.)

Actors – Sam Worthington – ( Known For: Simulant; Avatar: The Way of Water; Avatar; Hacksaw Ridge; Everest; Fractured; Last Night; Rogue; Cake; The Titan; Lansky; The Debt; The Last Son; Texas Killing Fields; 9 Bullets; Hart’s War; The Keeping Room; The Hunter’s Prayer; Kidnapping Mr. Heineken; Paper Planes; Future BMT: Terminator Salvation; The Shack; Man on a Ledge; The Great Raid; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Wrath of the Titans; Sabotage; Notes: Y’all know Sam Worthington … wait do you? He’s Australian, and an ultimate “that guy.” Seemed like he was going to be a big star, and then ended up “merely” being the somewhat faceless star of the Avatar series.)

Liam Neeson – ( Known For: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Schindler’s List; The Dark Knight Rises; Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Batman Begins; Love Actually; The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; Gangs of New York; Taken; Excalibur; The Lego Movie; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; The A-Team; Widows; The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian; Silence; Run All Night; Ted 2; Future BMT: Marlowe; Kingdom of Heaven; Men in Black: International; The Marksman; Krull; Taken 3; A Million Ways to Die in the West; Taken 2; Entourage; The Huntsman: Winter’s War; Daddy’s Home 2; High Spirits; The Nut Job; Before and After; BMT: Battleship; Memory; Clash of the Titans; Blacklight; The Haunting; Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Now, you definitely know Liam Neeson. Makes a bunch of garbage now, but … no wait, he’s always made garbage. Check out his 80s and 90s. It is bonkers. He’s Irish. Nominated for an Oscar for Schindler’s List.)

Ralph Fiennes – ( Known For: The Menu; Schindler’s List; The Grand Budapest Hotel; No Time to Die; The King’s Man; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2; The Hurt Locker; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1; In Bruges; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; Red Dragon; Skyfall; Spectre; The Reader; Official Secrets; The Forgiven; The Lego Batman Movie; The English Patient; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Future BMT: Maid in Manhattan; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Dolittle; Wrath of the Titans; The Avengers; Holmes & Watson; Notes: Nominated for two Oscars (Schindler’s List and The English Patient). He’s English and you best believe he’s related to Hero Fiennes Tiffin (his nephew).)

Budget/Gross – $125,000,000 / Domestic: $163,214,888 (Worldwide: $493,214,993)

(That’s a solid haul. It would probably be considered a huge disaster now for dumb reasons, but at the time I’m sure getting to around half a billion and with home video sales it was a solid take.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 27% (72/266): An obviously affectionate remake of the 1981 original, Louis Leterrier’s Clash of the Titans doesn’t offer enough visual thrills to offset the deficiencies of its script.

(I mean, some people would disagree, namely Roger Ebert, ever head of him? Having watched it, the CGI is actually quite good with one exception which is the giant scorpions which look like trash.)

NY Times Short Review: A remake of a 1981 film features swords, sandals and monsters, this time around in 3-D.

Poster – Clash of the Tight Twins

(Too bland. But good font and honestly it would have been a crime if they didn’t make a poster like this following the success of 300. Would have been gross negligence. B.)

Tagline(s) – The Clash Begins 2.4.2010 (F)

(Booooooooooooooo.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Future BMT: 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.4 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005),… (and many more)

Best Options (Action): 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 56.8 Land of the Lost (2009), 48.2 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008), 47.8 Men in Black: International (2019), 44.6 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), 44.5 Wrath of the Titans (2012), 44.0 Allegiant (2016), 41.2 Clash of the Titans (2010), 40.9 Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010), 40.6 The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013), 37.8 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 36.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016), 34.3 Van Helsing (2004), 34.2 The Tourist (2010), 34.1 Taken 3 (2014), 33.4 Sahara (2005), 32.3 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991), 31.1 Justice League (2017), 30.3 The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016), 29.4 Waist Deep (2006), 27.9 Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), 27.8 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 27.7 Dracula Untold (2014), 27.6 Rush Hour 3 (2007), 27.3 Antitrust (2001), 27.0 War (2007), 25.6 Pokémon: The First Movie – Mewtwo Strikes Back (1998), 24.8 Terminator Genisys (2015), 24.6 King Arthur (2004), 22.0 Now You See Me 2 (2016), 21.7 Let’s Be Cops (2014), 21.0 Act of Valor (2012), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 19.4 Kick-Ass 2 (2013), 17.0 Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010), 16.9 Eagle Eye (2008), 16.7 Tears of the Sun (2003), 14.8 The Matrix Revolutions (2003), 14.8 Angels & Demons (2009), 12.8 The Island (2005), 9.3 Underworld (2003), 6.6 Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

(We went for a two-fer here. Totally worth it, even after my brain melted at hour four of this CGI nonsense.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Gemma Arterton is No. 2 billed in Clash of the Titans and No. 2 billed in Runner Runner, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 12. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Emma Thompson almost made an accidental uncredited cameo in this movie while visiting friend Liam Neeson on the set. Thompson, who’d been filming Nanny McPhee Returns (2010) in an adjacent studio, went to visit Neeson during a break, just as Neeson was about to shoot a scene with Ralph Fiennes and Danny Huston. Unable to exit the set fast enough as the cameras began to roll, Thompson, in her clumsy Nanny McPhee costume, had to hide behind Huston’s throne during the take so she would not be picked up by the cameras.

The language of Djinn is actually Arabic.

The word Kraken (sea monster) is Norwegian/Swedish, not Greek. Early script drafts considered changing it to its Hebrew counterpart Leviathan (famous from the Bible hymn of Job 41). It was changed back to Kraken as a tribute to the original Clash of the Titans (1981) tagline “Release the Kraken!” Surprisingly, the creature’s Greek name, Cetus, was never considered.

Sam Worthington’s sandals are Nike Trainers with toes painted on them. He didn’t wear sandals because he needed shoes to perform the stunts well.

In Greek mythology, Io is Perseus’ great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother, and an old flame of his father Zeus.

Although Greek mythology contains different versions of the story of Perseus, the film deviates from all of them in some parts. Perseus supposedly flew to an island using winged sandals he borrowed from Hermes, and Medusa was only one of three Gorgons (i.e. half-woman half snake creatures with serpents for hair, the other two were called Stheno and Euryale).

The mechanical owl Bubo, from Clash of the Titans (1981), has a cameo as the toy Perseus picks up before he leaves on his quest. According to the filmmakers, the cameo was widely debated as to whether to keep it in the film, or not. It was eventually decided to keep it in the film, to please the fans of the original film.

Originally, Perseus was envisioned as being more of a young slender man. Louis Leterrier had watched Sam Worthington in the film Somersault (2004), and thought that he would be ideal, and was therefore somewhat taken aback when he met Worthington. The actor had bulked up considerably for his roles in Avatar (2009) and Terminator Salvation (2009).

The Stygian Witches were actually played by men.

The volcano scenes were shot at the Dinorwic Slate Quarry in Wales. This is a famous location, used for fantasies like Willow (1988) and Street Fighter (1994).

Poltergeist II: The Other Side Preview

Jamie and Patrick are playing with their favorite toy dinosaurs. They’re mother stops by and pats them lovingly on the head. They’re father stoops down and spends some moments joining in on the imaginary fun. Jamie strains to see his father’s face but it’s clouded by an image of Scott Bakula. But the joy of this dino adventure is enough and they continue to play together: Patrick, Jamie, and their imposter dad Scott Bakula. There is a knock at the door and there are two men in suits there. They are talking to Scott Bakula. They are pointing at a sheet of paper that says that all their measurables are off the charts. General Knowledge: 100th percentile. Gymnastics: 100th percentile. Martial Arts: 100th percentile. Dance: 100th percentile. Philosophy: 100th percentile. The list goes on and on. They frown at the list. Dinosaurs: 100th percentile is nowhere to be found. Not a list they care about. The men tell them they are going away, going to have everything because of this list. They cry. They hit these men with their dinosaur toys and try to run away.

Jamie shakes his head at the memory and jerks his arm away from Patrick and grabs one of the toy cars. “Michael!” he calls and the groundskeeper turns. “Why are these toys here? Whose toys are these?” he asks, his voice shaking with intensity. Michael chuckles a little. “Ah, so that’s what you’re sniffing around about. You’ve heard the stories,” he says but starts a little when he realizes they don’t know what he’s talking about. “You’re saying you’ve never heard the story of how this place is haunted?” Patrick and Jamie look at each other and shakily murmur, “A gh-gh-gh-ghost?” Michael nods. “Not just one ghost,” he continues, “Two.” That’s right! We’re watching not just one ghost film, but two. And they’re some big ones. We are tackling the two very poorly received sequels to Poltergeist, Poltergeist II: The Other Side and Poltergeist III… no subtitle for three, guys? That’s a shame. How about Poltergeist III: Tower of Terror? Let’s go!

Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986) – BMeTric: 42.3; Notability: 64

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.8%; Notability: top 1.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 10.7%; Higher BMeT: Howard the Duck, Troll, King Kong Lives, Maximum Overdrive, Raw Deal, Solarbabies, Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Higher Notability: Jumpin’ Jack Flash, Howard the Duck, The Golden Child; Lower RT: Solarbabies, 8 Million Ways to Die, King Kong Lives, Band of the Hand, American Anthem, Sorority House Massacre, Deadtime Stories, Nobody’s Fool, Firewalker, The Clan of the Cave Bear, Armed and Dangerous, TerrorVision, Dangerously Close, Club Paradise, Quicksilver, Soul Man, Howard the Duck, Tai-Pan, Maximum Overdrive, The Delta Force, and 4 more; Notes: The Notability is shockingly high on this one, but the cast is kind of stacked too, so I guess it makes sense. Jumpin’ Jack Flash has been on my radar forever. The old Whoopi films from the 80s are something else.

Leonard Maltin – 2.5 stars – The Freeling family is terrorized again by otherworld creatures. Another pointless sequel made palatable by some jolting state-of-the-art special effects and a still-very-likable family. Be warned that an actor receives billing as The Vomit Creature.

(This does seem, potentially, to be a series that would be mostly a display for impressive special effects and not much else. It is pointless though, the first film was wrapped up in a neat bow.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjhr8EdGyD0/

(Oh snap, first shot, the big baddy … Kane? Wait, was this guy in the first film? No? What is happening!? That being said, pretty solid teaser trailer all said.)

Directors – Brian Gibson – ( Known For: What’s Love Got to Do with It; The Juror; Still Crazy; Breaking Glass; BMT: Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Notes: Worked for the BBC initially, then it appears he did a bunch of music videos. This followed right after a series of music videos by Styx. Won and Emmy for The Josephine Baker Story.)

Writers – Mark Victor and Michael Grais – ( Known For: Poltergeist; Death Hunt; Future BMT: Marked for Death; BMT: Cool World; Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Notes: Kind of odd they didn’t seem to get a credit for Poltergeist III. They wrote a trilogy of UFO TV Movies in 1991.)

Actors – JoBeth Williams – ( Known For: Poltergeist; The Big Chill; Kramer vs. Kramer; Stir Crazy; The Big Year; Fever Pitch; In the Land of Women; The Dogs of War; Teachers; Timer; Alex & The List; Desert Bloom; Memories of Me; Endangered Species; SGT. Will Gardner; The Last Film Festival; Barracuda; Me Myself and I; Welcome Home; Just Write; Future BMT: Wyatt Earp; Switch; American Dreamer; BMT: Jungle 2 Jungle; Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Dutch; Notes: Her husband was the director of Miss Congeniality 2 among other BMT films. She was nominated for an Oscar for On Hope, a short film.)

Craig T. Nelson – ( Known For: The Devil’s Advocate; The Incredibles; The Proposal; Incredibles 2; Poltergeist; Blades of Glory; The Killing Fields; Book Club; Wag the Dog; Soul Surfer; Gold; All the Right Moves; Stir Crazy; The Osterman Weekend; Silkwood; The Company Men; Private Benjamin; Turner & Hooch; The Family Stone; And Justice for All; Future BMT: Troop Beverly Hills; Get Hard; Action Jackson; BMT: Poltergeist II: The Other Side; The Skulls; Notes: It’s Coach! Races cars. Was nominated three times for Coach, and won once.)

Heather O’Rourke – ( Known For: Poltergeist; BMT: Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Poltergeist III; Notes: Sadly died during post-production of Poltergeist III from complications related to Crohn’s Disease.)

Budget/Gross – $19 million / Domestic: $40,996,665 (Worldwide: $40,996,665)

(That’s good enough. Horror films just print money as usual. So no wonder they went straight for the third. I do wonder if you could get a direct sequel off the ground, recasting O’Rourke’s character as an adult.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (11/55): They’re back, but this hollow sequel retains none of the charm or suspense that made the original Poltergeist such a haunting specter.

(Yeah, that makes sense. But when does any sequel? I guess something like The Conjuring at the very least kept the same entertaining level of zaniness during its sequels. So it is possible.)

NY Times Short Review: Plot trouble.

Poster – Ghosty Spooktacular II: The Other Sklog

(Ha, what? This poster is crazy. Did they finish it? I’m going to give them an Incomplete.)

Tagline(s) – They’re back. (B)

(I can’t actually give this a particularly good grade, but I also can’t blame them for putting away the easy lay-up. Just solid fundamentals here.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (Horror): 64.2 Poltergeist III (1988), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 44.3 DeepStar Six (1989), 42.3 Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), 34.6 Leviathan (1989), 32.2 The Seventh Sign (1988), 31.3 Student Bodies (1981), 28.1 Deep Rising (1998), 27.4 The Phantom of the Opera (1989), 26.1 The Bride (1985), 25.0 Bad Dreams (1988)

(Yeah we hit up a good one here. There was an off-the-board alternative, specifically we could have hit up the second and third Amityville and gone down that freight path of six non-qualifying direct-to-video sequels. We chose not to.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: JoBeth Williams is No. 2 billed in Poltergeist II: The Other Side and No. 3 billed in Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 14. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – The only family member absent from the film is Dana, who according to the script is off at university, but a scene explaining away her absence was never filmed. Dominique Dunne was murdered by her boyfriend John Thomas Sweeney (who later changed his name to John Maura and disappeared) shortly after “Poltergeist (1982)” premiered. Ultimately, no mention is made of Dana in the final film, or of her being in college. It was decided by the filmmakers to retire the character and not recast her out of respect for the deceased actress and her family.

The partially grown “Vomit Creature” was performed by stuntman Noble Craig, a triple-amputee who lost both legs, an arm, and an eye while serving in the Vietnam War.

Heather O’Rourke was so afraid of Julian Beck (Reverend Kane) the first time she saw him that she burst into tears.

Julian Beck’s gaunt appearance is the result of the stomach cancer that would claim his life.

The film had an original running time of 131 minutes before being edited down to 91 minutes. Some have surmised that MGM rushed production and ordered the cuts, e.g the final battle with Kane lasts all of two minutes. Zelda Rubinstein in particular was furious about this, as she felt her best scenes were removed from the final cut.

H.R. Giger provided the special effects designs. Giger created several designs but only two made it into the film, albeit briefly. Some books on his art report that Giger was “very unhappy” with how his designs were translated to the film.

The exorcism was performed by Will Sampson, who was a real-life shaman for “several different groups” before his death in 1987. Studio security was instructed to leave the set unlocked and unguarded so Sampson could return in the middle of the night to perform the exorcism.

Several scenes that appeared in press stills and promotional posters were cut from the film, e.g. one in which Kane tries to get into the house a second time and confronts Tangina (this omission angered Rubinstein as she felt that was one of her best scenes); one in which Steve and Diane see a flying toaster during a breakfast scene, etc.

The film was at one point to have been filmed in 3D; several scenes such as the appearance of the Beast and the flying chainsaw were filmed to take advantage of the process. This idea was eventually abandoned after seeing the failures of other gimmicky 3D horror films of the decade, including Friday the 13th Part III (1982), Jaws 3-D (1983), and Amityville 3-D (1983), which was a previous flop from MGM.

Awards – Nominee for the Oscar for Best Effects, Visual Effects (Richard Edlund, John Bruno, Garry Waller, Bill Neil, 1987)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Zelda Rubinstein, 1987)

65 Preview

“We are not helping the Gutes,” Patrick says sternly, but even as he says it his eyes stray over to the map that Jamie is studying intently. They bandy theories back and forth as they walk. “Testarossa means red head in Italian,” Jamie notes and Patrick rolls his eyes. “We need to be thinking outside the box. We need to go…” Patrick stops, looking around bewildered. While distracted by the puzzle they have inadvertently walked to the harbor/aquatic fitness center. “No!” Patrick yells angrily, “No, we are not helping. We have to watch Citizen Kane. We have to stop getting into BMT style jams.” At this point he’s storming around and has lost his shirt. It’s classic Tantrum Twins and Jamie decides to join in (although he doesn’t mind some minor BMT hijinks if it’s to help the Gutes). When they are all tuckered out they are surprised to see they are no longer alone. Chests heaving and glistening with sweat they are able to gasp a quick hello. The man nods his head, “Hello, you boys sure got yourselves worked up. The name’s Michael, I’m the groundskeeper here. Are you two lost?” Patrick nods his head, while Jamie shakes his and Michael chuckles. “Well you might not be lost, but you’re obviously confused. Give me a holler when you figure out where you’re heading. I’ve been here forever, so I know everything about this place.” He turns to go, but before Jamie can ask him about Testarossa Patrick grabs Jamie by the arm and begins to drag him back to their room. As he does he steps right on a bunch of toy cars someone left on the ground. Patrick curses but Jamie suddenly has a thought, a memory of his own favorite toys… his dinosaurs. That’s right! It’s BMT Live! Movies are back, Jack, and so we better hop on the BMT train before it leaves the station, choo choo. Last week a big ol’ dino flick called 65 starring Adam Driver made it to theaters and juuuuust qualified. Nuff said. Let’s go!

65 (2023) – BMeTric: 33.9; Notability: 21

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.8%; Notability: top 0.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 13.6%; Higher BMeT: Your Place or Mine, House Party; Higher Notability: House Party, Your Place or Mine; Lower RT: Fear, House Party, The Old Way, Your Place or Mine, Maybe I Do, A Little White Lie; Notes: House Party is on the radar. Naturally, there isn’t much to say about this, except 33.9 BMeTric this early is pretty impressive.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Beck and Woods offer some clever camerawork here and there, but also some erratic editing choices. And they borrow quite a bit from the “Jurassic Park” franchise: a giant footprint in the mud or a dinosaur’s yellow eye leering menacingly through a window. But maybe that’s inevitable at this point. Their film only gets truly enjoyably nutty toward the end, with its climactic combination of a sneaky quicksand patch, a ravenous Tyrannosaurus rex, a well-timed geyser eruption, and a catastrophic asteroid shower. But by then, it’s too late for us—and the planet.

(Not a bad point. But also I think the movie might be much worse if it was much crazier. If anything the small potatoes dinosaur version of Monsters (as an example) might have been the way to go.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6YfhX83Cj8/

(No … wait … no. Humans didn’t discover Earth. He’s not human! WHAT? The trailer is wrong! THE TRAILER IS WRONG!)

Directors – Bryan Woods and Scott Beck – ( Known For: Haunt; Nightlight; The Bride Wore Blood; University Heights; BMT: 65; Notes: If I were to guess, based on their IMDb notes, they might have met in college or during the MTV college film writing competition. Hard to tell, but they both are noted to have been involved with that in 2005.)

Writers – Bryan Woods and Scott Beck – ( Known For: A Quiet Place; A Quiet Place Part II; Haunt; Nightlight; The Bride Wore Blood; University Heights; BMT: 65; Notes: This is where they actually get their cred from though. A Quiet Place and the sequel are legit huge movies and are notably smaller budget monster films. They got their shot. Didn’t make it.)

Actors – Adam Driver – ( Known For: This Is Where I Leave You; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; White Noise; The Last Duel; Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens; House of Gucci; Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi; Marriage Story; Logan Lucky; The Dead Don’t Die; BlacKkKlansman; Silence; Lincoln; The Report; Inside Llewyn Davis; Paterson; What If; The Man Who Killed Don Quixote; Frances Ha; Annette; BMT: 65; Notes: Wow, his first true blue bad film. Too bad really. He’s an incredible actor. I would recommend Paterson. Notably was in the military prior to breaking out on the television show Girls.)

Ariana Greenblatt – ( Known For: Avengers: Infinity War; In the Heights; Love and Monsters; Awake; The Boss Baby: Family Business; Scoob!; The One and Only Ivan; Future BMT: A Bad Moms Christmas; BMT: 65; Notes: Ha, obviously besides being an up and coming young actress, she’s also the daughter of one of the Delancey brothers in Newsies.)

Chloe Coleman – ( Known For: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves; Avatar: The Way of Water; Gunpowder Milkshake; Marry Me; My Spy; Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made; BMT: 65; Notes: He sister is apparently also an actress and was in Criminal Minds.)

Budget/Gross – $45 million / Domestic: $28,483,690 (Worldwide: $49,683,690)

(Yeah not good, although somehow this is also more money than I would have expected? I thought it legit made no money. At least the budget wasn’t giant. I heard that Driver’s salary alone was a huge part of that.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (37/106): Sodden sci-fi that somehow finds a way to bungle Adam Driver fighting dinosaurs, 65 is closer to zero.

(I hate that last garbage quip for the record. But yeah, it is a bit amazing he even agreed to be in it.)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s not schlocky enough to be so-bad-it’s-good and nowhere near good enough to be taken even a tiny bit seriously. – David Fear, Rolling Stone

Poster – Bad Dad Dino Dad

(I kinda like it, but it’s very early 2000’s. I also wish it popped a little bit more in the colors. Comes off a little gray. B.)

Tagline(s) – 65 million years ago prehistoric earth had a visitor. (C)

(Too on the nose and too long. So I’m going to pass on this one. But I will say I can see how something like this could work. You walk past this and it’s kind of an elevator pitch for the concept… and maybe you like the idea of a future man battling dinosaurs.)

Keyword(s) – year 2023

Top 10: Pathaan (2023), Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023), Knock at the Cabin (2023), You People (2023), John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023), Plane (2023), Cocaine Bear (2023), Mission Majnu (2023), Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023), Scream VI (2023)

Future BMT: 72.2 Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 36.8 House Party (2023), 9.9 Fear (2023)

BMT: 65 (2023)

(Oh boy, the Winnie the Pooh film is actually supposed to be awful. Like not fun awful. Like well and truly just the worst thing you’ve ever seen.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number “N/A”) – There is no current way to connect this movie to Here on Earth via BMT. If we were to watch A Bad Moms Christmas we can get the HoE Number down to 34.

Notes – The warning sound made by the ship’s computer just after the crash was first used 70 years ago as the sound effect for the Martian walkers, in the 1953 Paramount production of “War of the Worlds.”

Filming in 2021 in Kisatchie National Forest, Louisiana.

As a Marine, this is the first in Adam Driver’s film career where he utilizes his weapons training from his old career.

Prior to its eventual theatrical release in March 2023 this film had been penciled in for a release date on five separate occasions only to have them postponed by distributor Sony Pictures.

The film only had one press screening before its worldwide release, on this occasion in New York city and that was less than 24 hours before its release.

“Koa” in the Hawaiian language means “Warrior”.

This is the third science fiction film by Sony/Columbia Pictures to open with a spaceship being damaged by asteroids, following After Earth (2013) and Passengers (2016).

The film was shot in 40 days, as compared to the Jurassic World movies which have over 100 days of filming.

The Fly II Preview

“I guess we’re having a little trouble with #4,” Jamie says, hoping to get some Good Movie insight from their new elderly friend. It seems right up his alley since it has to do with friendship: Rule #4 – Animal Friends/Animal Enemies. But the old man isn’t listening, he just keeps staring at a door at the back of the train that has a big money sign painted on it. “Why are you staring at the train’s treasure room?” Patrick asks, once again suspicious of this stereotypical old man. “Oh, I don’t know…” the old man starts before dramatically pulling off his disguise and drawing a gun on them. “Maybe because you’re gonna help me rob this train of its jewels,” he finishes. “He’s got a gun!” a nearby passenger screams. Panic ensues and the passengers flee, leaving the train car empty except for them. The young man explains how he saw them at the train station and knew it was his opportunity to use them to help him get away with his heist. He says something about forcing them to dance in order to distract the train police, but at that point Jamie and Patrick have stopped listening. They half-heartedly twin chop the gun out of his hand and backflip their way between him and the treasure room. “No, we’re not going to help you with this scheme. We’re not even going to get ourselves wrapped up in some complicated quest to stop you and your dastardly deeds. That was the old Movie Twins. The Bad Movie Twins. Now we’re the Good Movie Twins. In fact, we’re not just Good…” Patrick says and Jamie finishes, “We’re fly. And that’s exactly what you’re about to do.” At that they Twin Kick the faux geezer out of the moving train. That’s right! We are picking up a classic… and then we’ll watch that classic’s dumb sequel. It’s The Fly and The Fly II. The first one is a Cronenberg classic. The second is the one directed by the dude who did the creature effects for the first film… I’m not joking… that’s what happened because they probably thought, “whatever, this is just a cash grab anyway.” Let’s go!

The Fly II (1989) – BMeTric: 56.0; Notability: 33

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.2%; Notability: top 14.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.1%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, Wild Orchid, Cyborg, The Karate Kid Part III; Higher Notability: Tango & Cash, Troop Beverly Hills, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Fletch Lives, Harlem Nights, Leviathan, Listen to Me, Lock Up, Pink Cadillac, Family Business, Millennium, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Three Fugitives, Dead Bang, Let It Ride, Renegades, Slaves of New York, The Karate Kid Part III, and 16 more; Lower RT: Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Stepfather II: Make Room for Daddy, The Toxic Avenger Part II, The Horror Show, Worth Winning, Night Game, Second Sight, Wired, Dream a Little Dream, No Holds Barred, Wild Orchid, She’s Out of Control, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Millennium, Chattahoochee, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland, The Blood of Heroes, The Lemon Sisters, and 25 more; Notes: We are doing okay with 1989 now I think, just look at the Top BMeT list. This will be 7 of the top 8 watched for BMT, with only Karate Kid III outstanding there. I have a subtle goal which is to watch the top 10 BMeT films of every year from 1980 to now. I think the early 80s can be done if we loosen up the restrictions, but I already have ideas about that.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB – A case of “like father, like son”; too bad director Walas isn’t like David Cronenberg. Stoltz, son of deceased Jeff Goldblum, has attained puberty at five with the intellect to match; now he’s being unknowingly exploited by – here’s a novel twist – the scientists in whose care he’s entrusted. Alternatively sull and messy but mostly dull.

(First, double semi-colon. Jesus Christ Leonard, you’d outdone even yourself. Second, like father like son? You talking like Big Momma and his (her?) son? I’m surprised “mostly dull” gets a BOMB. BOMBs are ultra rare.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yS6E2EXlnI/

(Horrible horrible horrible. I hate it. Annoying and not scary or good. The last bit of the trailer does get you a bit amped and teases the puppet at least.)

Directors – Chris Walas – ( Known For: The Vagrant; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: The Vagrant looks absolutely wild. Anyways, he did the makeup for the original Fly (and was nominated for an Oscar for it). This seemed to be his one and only attempt at a truly major release, although he is a genuinely famous special effects artist working on Return of the Jedi, Enemy Mine, and Gremlins.)

Writers – Mick Garris – ( Known For: Hocus Pocus 2; *batteries not included; Nightmare Cinema; Riding the Bullet; Future BMT: Hocus Pocus; BMT: Critters 2; The Fly II; Notes: Very notably was a secretary at the Star Wars Corporation in 1977. He’s a pretty big name horror director from the 80s)

Jim Wheat and Ken Wheat– ( Known For: Pitch Black; A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; The Silent Scream; After Midnight; The Return; Future BMT: The Chronicles of Riddick; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: Under the fold is the incredible revelation that they are the directors of Ewoks: The Battle for Endor. They are brothers and writing partners.)

Frank Darabont – ( Known For: The Shawshank Redemption; The Green Mile; The Mist; The Blob; Frankenstein; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: I feel like he’s mostly notable for the big issues he’s had with The Walking Dead and getting paid for that … but yeah, also he’s the director for Shawshank. I’m a little stunned all of these credits are for exclusively The Fly II with not credit for the original writers or anything?)

George Langelaan – (Known For: The Fly, Return of the Fly; Curse of the Fly, The Fly; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: They obviously had to credit him for the story and characters. But again, a little crazy that Cronenberg gets nothing on the sequel? It makes no sense.)

Actors – Eric Stoltz – ( Known For: Pulp Fiction; Back to the Future; Jerry Maguire; Fast Times at Ridgemont High; Little Women; Some Kind of Wonderful; Mask; Say Anything; The Prophecy; The Rules of Attraction; Singles; Kicking and Screaming; 2 Days in the Valley; Memphis Belle; Rob Roy; Her Smell; 5 to 7; The House of Mirth; The Wild Life; Killing Zoe; Future BMT: The Butterfly Effect; The Honeymooners; Fluke; Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer; BMT: Anaconda; The Fly II; Notes: Famously the original Marty McFly in Back to the Future (still uncredited there presumably because he’s still included in some wide shots?). Mostly does small things and television spots, but was also a star of the Battlestar Galactica spinoff Caprica it looks like.)

Daphne Zuniga – ( Known For: Spaceballs; Vision Quest; The Sure Thing; The Initiation; Modern Girls; The Dorm That Dripped Blood; Staying Together; Last Rites; Heartbeats; Gone Missing; Charlie’s Ghost Story; Mad at the Moon; Who’s Driving Doug; Enemies of Laughter; Summer Forever; Future BMT: Gross Anatomy; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: I obviously know her from Spaceballs. She’s continued to do a lot of stuff, mostly guest spots on television, but she was also on 40 episodes of One Tree Hill.)

Lee Richardson – ( Known For: Network; The Exorcist III; Prizzi’s Honor; Prince of the City; Brubaker; Q&A; Daniel; Middle of the Night; Tiger Warsaw; I Am the Cheese; Future BMT: The Believers; A Stranger Among Us; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: Uncredited as FDR in the Truman television movie. Was nominated for a Tony Award for Vivat! Vivat Rgina! In 1972. Died in 1999.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $20,021,322 (Worldwide: $38,903,179)

(That seems bad considering how much must have went into effects. A little odd that there is no info at all about how much this movie costs seemingly.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (5/17)

(Oh a consensus: Often horribly graphic and … well just horrible, The Fly II exchanges the creepy for the just plain gross.)

Reviewer Highlight: Worthless sequel to a very good film – Ken Hanke, Mountain Xpress

Poster – The Fly II: Superfly

(Christ, they just knocked off the first film’s poster. Really was a cash grab. Although then again there is a rich history of just trotting out the same thing for a sequel. Back to the Future comes to mind. I like the tone, wish the font was a little better, and can’t give it much of a score since it is a knockoff. C.)

Tagline(s) – Like father, like son. (F)

(We talking Big Momma’s House 3? I sometimes wonder when we have a tagline this generic whether we could build a trilogy of films with the exact same tagline.)

Keyword(s) – good

Top 10: Good Will Hunting (1997), The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), The Great Gatsby (2013), Hot Fuzz (2007), Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964), Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016), The Wizard of Oz (1939), Man on Fire (2004), The Nice Guys (2016)

Future BMT: 67.3 Phat Girlz (2006), 63.2 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 60.6 Like a Boss (2020), 51.7 Playing with Fire (2019), 51.6 The Boss (2016), 51.0 Johnny Be Good (1988), 50.6 The Hot Chick (2002), 49.9 Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), 48.4 Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), 47.1 Barney’s Great Adventure (1998), 45.1 Fly Me to the Moon 3D (2007), 44.9 Fantastic Four (2005), 40.4 No Good Deed (2014), 39.4 Good Burger (1997), 37.2 The Great Wall (2016), 37.0 Stroker Ace (1983), 36.3 Milk Money (1994), 34.6 Mad Money (2008), 34.3 Mo’ Money (1992), 32.1 Good Deeds (2012)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Cool as Ice (1991), Cool World (1992), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Hot Pursuit (2015), The Fly II (1989), One for the Money (2012), Fire Down Below (1997), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Fire Birds (1990), Good Luck Chuck (2007), Be Cool (2005), Chill Factor (1999), Money Train (1995), Hot to Trot (1988), The Golden Child (1986), Righteous Kill (2008), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), The Wizard (1989), Hunter Killer (2018)

Best Options (Horror): 56.2 The Fly II (1989), 40.4 No Good Deed (2014)

(Yeah, no very good options here, until you pulled in some Thrillers. At the very least The Good Son would have been an option … but spoilers, we are doing that later.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Eric Stoltz is No. 1 billed in The Fly II and No. 4 billed in Anaconda, which also stars Jennifer Lopez (No. 1 billed) who is in Gigli (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 4) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 16. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – Chris Walas wanted Geena Davis to reprise her role as Veronica Quaife for the birth scene at the beginning of the film. Geena Davis declined, because she had found the maggot-baby dream sequence in the original film emotionally upsetting and was replaced by Saffron Henderson, despite being 10 years younger than Davis.

The first videotape of Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum) (where he theorizes that the teleporter improved him) is actually part of a deleted scene from The Fly (1986). The scene was slightly edited for this film, and Veronica’s (Geena Davis) voice was dubbed over by Saffron Henderson (who plays Veronica at the beginning of The Fly II (1989)).

The Telepod props from The Fly (1986) were destroyed after filming was completed and had to be rebuilt.

John Getz (Stathis Borans) is the only actor reprising a role from the The Fly (1986).

The green flashes of light between each credit in the title sequence were actually borrowed from an alternate, unused title sequence for The Fly (1986).

In at least one draft of the script, Martin was going to see yet another videotape of Seth Brundle (this time nearing the end of his transformation), in which Seth talks about his “cure”. This would have required brand-new footage of Jeff Goldblum in makeup from the previous film, and the concept was subsequently dropped from the script.

The movie was originally given an X rating by the MPAA because of the graphic scene where Hargis’ head is crushed underneath an elevator. Director Chris Walas appealed the decision, and the MPAA gave the film an R rating without any edits to the scene.

In some US states, theaters playing The Fly II (1989) had a nurse on hand for the audience’s reactions to its content.

Mel Brooks suggested to Chris Walas that Daphne Zuniga play Beth Logan, after Zuniga starred as Princess Vespa in Brook’s “Star Wars” spoof Spaceballs (1987).

The book next to the sleeping technician in the control room at the beginning of the film is “The Shape of Rage”, an anthology of writings about the films of David Cronenberg, who directed this film’s predecessor.

A scene was taken out of the film which reveals the reason why Bartok and his scientists can’t get the Telepods to work is because Stathis took the operating disc from the Telepods and all the research on it to ensure the Telepods couldn’t cause any more damage than they already had.

Although “The Fly III” never happened, a comic book sequel, “The Fly: Outbreak” by Brandon Seifert, was published in 2015. “Outbreak” takes place years after The Fly II (1989) and it follows Martin Brundle attempting to cure Anton Bartok of his mutant condition.

Originally, writer Mick Garris’s script was about Veronica being convinced not to abort her baby by a religious cult who would keep and raise Martin after he was born. The rapidly aging Martin is joined by a group of kids with their own unique abilities or deformities and Martin could discover he could communicate with insects and would lead the kids to escape the cult and live in the outskirts of L.A.. This premise was abandoned for being too strange and family friendly. Another draft included Bartok scientists using cloning technology to resurrect Seth Brundle, still stuck as BrundleFly at first, and would discover that his son Martin (who was originally meant to be a child/teenager throughout the film) could communicate with him. Chris Walas disliked this version of the story as he thought it was too odd of a premise to the point where it came off like a family-friendly horror film about a boy and his bug monster. He even threatened to walk off the project if the script wasn’t changed, so the Fox executives relented and hired Frank Darabont to overhaul the script.

There had been a change in management at Fox between The Fly (1986) and this sequel, and the new head of Fox hadn’t even seen the previous film. Director Chris Walas claims that they wanted the film to explore themes of defying destiny and what it means to be a son, but the Fox executives ordered them to ditch the existential themes and make the film a standard, gory movie that teens could enjoy on their date. Mel Brooks would later remark that he had never seen so much studio interference on a movie before.

Don’t Worry Darling Preview

Kyle sits in his study tapping his chin, deep in thought. It’s been over four years since the disappearance of the Bad Movie Twins. He opens his desk drawer to take a glance at the Dongle. It’s sat there untouched since that day. Jamie and Patrick spent every day of their lives trying to make sure it never fell into the wrong hands, yet he’s done nothing and nobody seems to care. Not a suspicious knock at his door, not a Predator, Demon box, or even Scott Bakula showing up on his doorstep. It’s been downright pleasant. “You looking at it again?” Rachel asks from the doorway. Kyle closes it quickly and smiles. “Yeah, I just… I don’t know what to do with it,” he says with a sad note in his voice, “I wish they were back so they could take it off my hands.” Rachel squeezes his shoulder and shakes her head. “No,” she says, “you just wish they were back.” It’s true. His life is great. Great wife, great kids, great house, and a hit Sexy Mannequin centric website that has taken him around the world. But every time he looks in that drawer he can’t help but think he failed them. “You didn’t fail them,” Rachel says firmly, “you’ll get them back. And if you don’t, it’s because they didn’t want to be found. It seems like it’s safer in your hands than it was in theirs.” Kyle nods. “Safer in our hands,” he corrects with a smile. And it’s true, but he’d never say it himself. He opens the drawer a crack one more time and steals a glance. After shutting it he promises he’ll never look at it again and this time he’ll keep that promise. “Don’t worry darling,” Rachel says… and he doesn’t. That’s right! We’re taking a little interlude for a classic BMT Live! Sometimes you gotta jump on the chance to see something even if it qualifies by the skin of its teeth. Don’t Worry Darling has had such a tumultuous press tour that it transformed from Oscar contender to BMT hopeful before our eyes. I’m excited. Let’s go!

Don’t Worry Darling (2022) – BMeTric: 20.9; Notability: 28

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 11.2%; Notability: top 3.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 22.1%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Brazen, The Bubble, Moonfall, Firestarter, They/Them, Blacklight, Morbius, Me Time, Pinocchio, Spiderhead, Deep Water, Umma, Senior Year, The 355, Jurassic World Dominion, The Invitation, White Elephant, Samaritan, Memory, and 8 more; Higher Notability: Jurassic World Dominion, Pinocchio, Morbius, Amsterdam, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, Spiderhead; Lower RT: After Ever Happy, Me Time, Blacklight, Firestarter, Brazen, White Elephant, Morbius, Paradise Highway, Home Team, The Bubble, The Man from Toronto, Senior Year, Murder at Yellowstone City, The 355, The Invitation, Pinocchio, Memory, Black Site, Alice, Jurassic World Dominion, and 11 more; Notes: The numbers will be a bit weird since it just came out. Notability is where it shines I suppose, which makes sense.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The craft on display is impeccable, though, from the gleaming cinematography from Matthew Libatique (Darren Aronofsky’s usual collaborator) to the flawless production design from Katie Byron to the to-die-for costumes from Arianne Phillips. The excellent work of all those behind-the-scenes folks and others at least makes “Don’t Worry Darling” consistently watchable, all the way up to its non-ending of an ending. Let’s just say you’ll have questions afterward, and those post-movie conversations will probably be more thoughtful and stimulating than the movie itself.

(I basically agree with this review. It is very very competently made. But the ending is pretty silly and leaves more mostly dumb questions than actually interesting questions. But it also probably doesn’t end up here if not for the multiple controversies surrounding the production.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW9aRVXIwaY/

(It is a great trailer. Every time I saw it I figured this was going to be at the very worst a decent Oscar contender for some of the people involved. Alas, it probably misses. The only one I could imagine now is Pugh, but that is probably not in the cards because of her refusal to promote the film.)

Directors – Olivia Wilde – ( Known For: Booksmart; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; Notes: Booksmart is awesome, and as an actress I always thought she was great (shoutout to The O.C.). Too bad this is her sophomore effort. Yeah … she publicly got served divorce papers while promoting this film and was dating Harry Styles while separated I think. That and having Shia LeBeouf quit and calling Pugh “Miss Flo” was part of the controversy surrounding the film.)

Writers – Katie Silberman – ( Known For: Booksmart; Set It Up; Isn’t It Romantic; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; Notes: Seems to be making a career on making films that parody genres or turn them on their head. In a way this could have been no different, a take on The Stepford Wives, but seems to have fallen short.)

Carey Van Dyke and Shane Van Dyke – ( Known For: The Silence; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; Chernobyl Diaries; Notes: Chernobyl Diaries to this? That is a bizarre trajectory. Oh and yeah, they are the grandsons of Dick Van Dyke.)

Actors – Florence Pugh – ( Known For: Midsommar; Little Women; Black Widow; The Wonder; Fighting with My Family; Outlaw King; Lady Macbeth; The Commuter; Malevolent; The Falling; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; Notes: Her career is amazing. MCU, indie horror, indie adaptation of a beloved novel. Honestly a bit sad to see this as her first BMT. It is so borderline that without the drama it probably wouldn’t have qualified at all.)

Harry Styles – ( Known For: My Policeman; Eternals; Dunkirk; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; Notes: Yeah, he’s really trying the acting thing. He is obviously famous as a singer, both solo and as part of One Direction, but he has been slowly building up his parts in real films. Yeah … he started dating Olivia Wilde during filming, and then possibly spit on Chris Pine during an awards ceremony. That about sums up the controversy surrounding the film.)

Chris Pine – ( Known For: All the Old Knives; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse; Wonder Woman; The Contractor; Star Trek; Star Trek Beyond; Wonder Woman 1984; Hell or High Water; Outlaw King; Unstoppable; Into the Woods; Star Trek Into Darkness; Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit; A Wrinkle in Time; The Finest Hours; Rise of the Guardians; Carriers; Bottle Shock; Z for Zachariah; People Like Us; Future BMT: The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement; Smokin’ Aces; Horrible Bosses 2; Just My Luck; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; This Means War; Notes: Chris Pine is great, although All the Old Knives? Not great, I watched that a few months ago. He felt like he was disappearing a bit recently. I do really hope he can get another Star Trek cooking at some point.)

Budget/Gross – $35 million / Domestic: $44,344,233 (Worldwide: $83,044,233)

(This is fine in the end. I think it certainly made up the budget. They were probably going for a $100 million worldwide take (something like $50 domestic), but it didn’t miss too badly.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 38% (120/315): Despite an intriguing array of talent on either side of the camera, Don’t Worry Darling is a mostly muddled rehash of overly familiar themes.

(Juuuuuust barely. It is almost a certainty without the controversy it would be sitting somewhere closer to 50%, which is where I think it would fairly sit in the end as well.)

Reviewer Highlight: A cheap parlor trick…Pugh gives her all to even the weakest scenes, but leading man Styles struggles to keep up. – Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times

Poster – I’m Not Worried, You’re Worried

(This is my least favorite style of poster. Too old school. Never has a good color scheme. Font is terrible… but this is also how you sell your movie. Pugh is beautiful. Styles gets the ladies going. Everyone is rolling into the theater to see whatever that poster is promising. I grade that an SS… as in Sex Sells.)

Tagline(s) – Are you ready to live the life you deserve? (D+)

(Eeehhhhh. I don’t like that. I’m actually a little confused as to how it pertains to the actual movie. I mean, that’s not really the plot of the movie, before or after the twist. But that’s not the crime. The crime is that it’s boring.)

Keyword(s) – Year 2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), The Adam Project (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Northman (2022), The Gray Man (2022)

Future BMT: 62.2 Firestarter (2022), 61.8 Blacklight (2022), 52.0 Radhe Shyam (2022), 47.8 Umma (2022), 45.5 The 355 (2022), 44.2 Jurassic World Dominion (2022), 43.2 The Invitation (2022), 39.3 Memory (2022), 37.2 After Ever Happy (2022), 33.6 The King’s Daughter (2022), 7.1 Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022)

(Decent haul this year, 14 films so far. Still far from the typical 30ish films we’d hope for as a minimum, but still better than we’d expect. The plot is useless because it is just a bit bar at 2022 and that’s it.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 22) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Chris Pine is No. 3 billed in Don’t Worry Darling and No. 2 billed in This Means War, which also stars Reese Witherspoon (No. 1 billed) who is in Devil’s Knot (No. 1 billed) which also stars Bruce Greenwood (No. 9 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 6 billed) => (3 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (9 + 6) = 22. If we were to watch Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – The hilltop headquarters of the Victory Corporation is the iconic “volcano house” in the Mojave Desert community of Newberry Springs, California. The house was owned by PBS television personality Huell Howser, who donated the house to Chapman University in 2012 shortly before his death.

Olivia Wilde originally wanted to play the lead role but decided to cast Florence Pugh after seeing her in Midsommar (2019).

Frank, the Victory Project’s leader, is shown living in Kaufmann House, one of the most well-known mid-century homes in the world. Although the Kaufmann House’s exterior has been shown at various times over the years in both film and TV, “Don’t Worry Darling” is the first film to feature scenes shot on the property itself, including several peeks at its rarely seen interiors.

While introducing the trailer to an audience at CinemaCon in April 2022, Olivia Wilde was angered when she was interrupted on stage by a process server handing her custody papers from her ex-fiancé Jason Sudeikis. Sudeikis responded later that he had no idea that was going to happen and said he’d never have condoned it being served in “such an inappropriate manner.”

Although the film is set in a place described only as “Victory Town” onscreen, it’s very clearly set – and its exteriors were filmed – in Palm Springs, California, from which most of its interior design is directly derived. The city has one of the largest caches of mid-century-modern (MCM) architecture & design in the world, and nearby every single visual element in the film draws heavily from the MCM aesthetic.

Reports of conflicts among the cast circulated the media for weeks leading up to the film’s premiere. Shia LaBeouf was originally cast as Jack but was replaced with Harry Styles in September 2020, one month before filming began. LaBeouf’s departure was first attributed to a scheduling conflict, but Variety reported in December that he was fired due to poor behavior and frequent clashes with Olivia Wilde and the cast, pointing out Wilde’s “zero asshole policy” and LaBeouf’s reputation for being difficult to work with. The controversy was revived in August 2022, when Wilde said in a Variety interview that LaBeouf’s process and style were too combative for the production while still wishing him well. LaBeouf then disputed the reports that he was fired, claiming that he quit despite Wilde’s efforts to keep him on. A video message in which Wilde asks LaBeouf not to quit the film while alluding to conflicts with Florence Pugh was leaked online. Rumors of tension between Wilde and Pugh were exacerbated after The Wrap reported that Pugh would not participate in the film’s press tour due to her commitments filming Dune: Part Two (2023).

In the script Bunny was present in the dinner table scene, but Olivia Wilde removed her character from the scene so she could direct from behind the camera.

This film’s script first appeared on the 2019 Black List. Olivia Wilde’s previous film Booksmart (2019) was also a Black List script.

Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde reportedly started dating while working on this film.

Grease 2 Preview

Patrick looks around. Not only is the Dongle nowhere in sight, but neither is Jamie. He shivers. They’ve been separated a number of times during their adventures, and it usually didn’t turn out great. It would appear he is in a big old house, but before he can fully get his bearings he’s interrupted by a coy “yoo hoo.” When he turns his mouth goes dry. A very beautiful lady wearing an indecent amount of clothes is beckoning him. “Come back to bed, Sly,” she coos, further startling Patrick. He grabs one of the many nearby hand mirrors and screams in terror. Staring back at him is none other than Sly Stallone! Shaking out a nearby New York Times he finds a surprisingly good review for Speed Zone. My word, it’s 1989. “Where are you going?” yells the beautiful lady incredulously. He tries to think fast as he throws on whatever clothes can fit on his monstrous body. “Uh, school,” he sputters dumbly, stumbling out of the door.

Jamie looks around. Not only is the Dongle nowhere in sight, but neither is Patrick. Well, when the Patricks are away, the Jamies will play. The house he’s in is pretty dope and he can’t help but bump some tunes while making a few sandwiches. Through a mouthful of ‘wich he starts to sing along but is startled to hear what comes out. His voice has always been good… but not THIS GOOD. He rushes to the bathroom and gasps. He’s Frank Stallone… and he’s looking pretty rough. A teenage boy turns the corner and dumbly says, “Yo, Daddio, heading out for the first day of school. Senior year is gonna rock!” Jamie gasps again. His son is wearing a Class of 2031 shirt. He’s Frank Stallone and he’s 80 years old.

That’s right! We are fully transitioning to our Bring a Friend split story where on one side we are heading into the past. And on the other (smaller) side we are heading to the future. This time we are heading back to school with the one-two punch of Grease 2 and Class of 1999. Good combo as on one side we have a stark apocalyptic vision of high school life and on the other we have Class of 1999. Let’s go!

Grease 2 (1982) – BMeTric: 74.8; Notability: 44

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.0%; Notability: top 1.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 11.1%; Higher Notability: Young Doctors in Love, Firefox, Trail of the Pink Panther, Movie Madness; Lower RT: Megaforce, Class Reunion, Movie Madness, The Dorm That Dripped Blood, Monsignor, The Toy, Zapped!, Friday the 13th Part III, Five Days One Summer, Parasite, The Beast Within, Losin’ It, Amityville II: The Possession, Vigilante, Fighting Back, Trail of the Pink Panther, Summer Lovers, Wrong Is Right, Lookin’ to Get Out, Young Doctors in Love, and 2 more; Notes: Wow, the BMeTric is really gaudy, especially for 1982. I sometimes forget just how well known this is as a bad movie.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – If ever there was a time for a punk “Grease,” that time is now. The original “Grease” was born all those many years ago as an affectionate memory of a Chicago high school in the 1950s. It went through a lot of changes on Its way through Broadway to Hollywood, but at least when John Travolta whipped out his pocket comb and slicked back his hair, we knew we were in the right era.

(Actually … that is a pretty good point Ebert. It would have made perfect sense to flash forward to like the 70s and have people’s children be the main characters, and other main characters from the original as teachers and junk. Basically Rock and Roll High School I suppose.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQTUEj-TqLo

(That is quite the trailer. Like … the whole movie? You see probably two thirds of the songs in some capacity. The reproduction song is absurd.)

Directors – Patricia Birch – ( BMT: Grease 2; Notes: Won two Emmy for Great Performances, and was nominated for five Tonys for best choreography (including for Grease).)

Writers – Ken Finkleman – ( Known For: Airplane II: The Sequel; Illegally Yours; Future BMT: Who’s That Girl; Head Office; BMT: Grease 2; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Who’s That Girl in 1988; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for Van Dyke and Company. Created The Newsroom among other things on television.)

Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey – ( Known For: Grease; BMT: Grease 2; Notes: They wrote the book for Grease on Broadway and they get Grease credits based on that.)

Actors – Michelle Pfeiffer – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Scarface; Mother!; Murder on the Orient Express; Stardust; What Lies Beneath; Batman Returns; The Prince of Egypt; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Hairspray; The Witches of Eastwick; Dangerous Liaisons; The Age of Innocence; Ladyhawke; The Deep End of the Ocean; A Midsummer Night’s Dream; Wolf; Frankie and Johnny; White Oleander; Married to the Mob; Future BMT: Dark Shadows; The Family; Maleficent: Mistress of Evil; I Am Sam; Up Close & Personal; The Story of Us; To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday; BMT: Grease 2; Dangerous Minds; New Year’s Eve; A Thousand Acres; Notes: A very early credit for her, she would break out the next year with Scarface. Nominated for three Oscars for Dangerous Liaisons, The Fabulous Baker Boys, and Love Field. Dangerous Liaisons is what Cruel Intentions is based on.)

Maxwell Caulfield – ( Known For: Empire Records; Gettysburg; Electric Dreams; The Boys Next Door; Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat; Accident; Waxwork II: Lost in Time; Dance with Death; The Real Blonde; Oblivion 2: Backlash; Mind Games; Facing the Enemy; The Supernaturals; Submerged; Fatal Sky; Future BMT: The Man Who Knew Too Little; Calendar Girl; BMT: Grease 2; Notes: British. He was actually in quite a few American movies before going back to England to work on ITV shows and such. Probably most famously Casualty, which is a huge show.)

Lorna Luft – ( Known For: Where the Boys Are; I Could Go on Singing; Future BMT: 54; My Giant; BMT: Grease 2; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for producing Life with Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows. She is, in fact, Judy Garland’s daughter.)

Budget/Gross – $11.2 million / Domestic: $15,171,476 (Worldwide: $15,171,476)

(That isn’t great. At least, no way they were expecting such a return for the sequel to Grease. I think I see the issue though … the movie doesn’t have good songs.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (15/43): Grease 2 is undeniably stocked with solid songs and well-choreographed dance sequences, but there’s no getting around the fact that it’s a blatant retread of its far more entertaining predecessor.

(SOLID SONGS?! This movie is “stocked” with solid songs? That is what we are going with. Absurd! I’ve seen the film. The songs are, bar one or two, pretty terrible.)

Reviewer Highlight: Grease 2 is dizzy and slight, with an even more negligible plot than its predecessor had. This time the story can’t even masquerade as an excuse for stringing the songs together. – Janet Maslin, New York Times

Poster – Grease 2: This Time They’re Lame

(I guess it’s a classic take on a poster, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. What a difference a sequel makes. The first film you get Travolta and ONJ. Electric. This time you have Pfeiffer, sure, but then anonymous random dude #4. What a let down. C-)

Tagline(s) – The Music and Feeling go on Forever (D)

(I don’t know what that means, and you know what? I don’t care to find out.)

Keyword(s) – past

Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), Forrest Gump (1994), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Django Unchained (2012), Gladiator (2000), Inglourious Basterds (2009), Saving Private Ryan (1998), Schindler’s List (1993), The Prestige (2006), Shutter Island (2010)

Future BMT: 88.6 BloodRayne (2005), 72.9 The Unborn (2009), 70.3 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 69.7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.8 The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014), 64.5 The Final Destination (2009), 62.1 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 59.7 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 59.0 Apollo 18 (2011) … (and many more)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), The Fog (2005), Movie 43 (2013), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Glitter (2001), Holmes & Watson (2018), The Master of Disguise (2002), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Grease 2 (1982), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Jonah Hex (2010), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Wild Wild West (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Black Knight (2001), Chernobyl Diaries (2012), A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), The Musketeer (2001), An American Haunting (2005), Ishtar (1987), The Nun (2018), The Curse of La Llorona (2019), Pinocchio (2002), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Bones (2001), Shanghai Surprise (1986), House of Wax (2005), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), Season of the Witch (2011), The Tuxedo (2002), Mannequin: On the Move (1991), Pompeii (2014), Ghost Ship (2002), Assassin’s Creed (2016), The Scarlet Letter (1995), Timeline (2003), Dolittle (2020), The Quest (1996), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019), Wagons East (1994), The Three Musketeers (2011), Diana (2013), Rambo III (1988), Around the World in 80 Days (2004), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), The Blue Lagoon (1980), Cutthroat Island (1995), Texas Rangers (2001), Sucker Punch (2011), Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001), Jobs (2013), Universal Soldier (1992), Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004), Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), Original Sin (2001), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), American Outlaws (2001), Winter’s Tale (2014), Harlem Nights (1989), The Identical (2014), I Dreamed of Africa (2000), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Chamber (1996), The Marrying Man (1991), Wild Bill (1995), In Love and War (1996), Sleepaway Camp (1983), Gods and Generals (2003), The Lone Ranger (2013), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017), Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), Halloween II (1981), September Dawn (2007), Young Guns II (1990), Oscar (1991), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Evening (2007), The 13th Warrior (1999), White Comanche (1968), Gangster Squad (2013), Now and Then (1995), A Dog’s Purpose (2017)

Best Options (Comedy): 76.6 Grease 2 (1982), 69.7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 57.6 Bolero (1984), 54.5 Snow Dogs (2002), 53.7 Spy Hard (1996), 52.9 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 51.8 My Girl 2 (1994), 51.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 48.2 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008), 47.9 King Solomon’s Mines (1985) … (and many more)

(We’re in the past, baby! Actually a really hard concept to define. I ended up defining it as a collection of about 900 wikipedia pages, mostly things like “films set in the 14th century” and such. For the category most part I think it does pretty well, although undeniably there are films which merely have a prologue set in the past, but the bulk of the film is not. I think The Final Destination fits into that category. Anyways, we got the top comedy here.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Michelle Pfeiffer is No. 2 billed in Grease 2 and No. 2 billed in New Year’s Eve, which also stars Robert De Niro (No. 1 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch The Family we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – “Do It For Our Country” is a duet between Sharon and Louis. Maureen Teefy couldn’t make it to the recording session, so Peter Frechette had to sing the whole song himself, which is why Maureen’s vocals aren’t on the movie’s soundtrack. Her voice was dubbed in later in the song

According to Maxwell Caulfield’s stunt double Gary Davis, Michelle Pfeiffer performed her own stunts in the famous Lone Rider/Stephanie romantic motorcycle ride. “She sat behind me, then I lifted her around to where she straddled me, and then we wheelie’d away. She was wonderful the whole time.”

Michelle Pfeiffer’s first major starring role.

Michelle Pfeiffer and Maxwell Caulfield did not get along during filming. A few years after the film was released, Caulfield said in an interview that they “got along infamously.” Pfeiffer claimed in an interview that Maxwell was “self-adoring.”

Though the connection was never acknowledged in the movie, Johnny Nogerelli was originally intended to be the cousin of Danny Zuko from the first film. But Michael was Sandy’s cousin, and the writers thought there were too many similarities.

John Travolta and Dame Olivia Newton-John met with the studio to discuss reprising their roles, but weren’t pursued further after the initial conference.

The film damaged Maxwell Caulfield’s career severely. He has been quoted as saying, “Before Grease 2 came out, I was being hailed as the next Richard Gere or John Travolta. However, when Grease 2 flopped, nobody would touch me. It felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown in my face. It took me 10 years to get over Grease 2.”

Original plans were for this to be the second installment in a franchise of four movies and a TV series. When the movie flopped, plans for a franchise were thrown out. Disney ended up adapting the unused script for the third movie, which became High School Musical (2006).

The theatrical feature film debut for Lorna Luft, daughter of Judy Garland, and half-sister of Liza Minnelli.

Patricia Birch was the dance choreographer for the original Grease (1978) having also choreographed the source stage musical. Publicity for this sequel stated that it was the first time a female choreographer had become a film director. This movie was her directorial debut, and her only theatrical film directing credit.

The film had 500 cast members.

Boys and Girls Preview

After four hours, Jamie and Patrick are finally able to wipe off the last of the muck and mire they ended up smeared in as part of their elaborate ruse to escape prison. The first of the Halloween novelty songs they came up with was a pretty standard riff on a classic. The Monster Rash was less about a party full of monsters and more about a pretty serious rash the narrator got while attending a party full of monsters. Bongo and Mash seemed to think it was fine if you were into that kind of thing. But once they launched into their refrain of the Yuck-o Uck-o Dracula Spooktacula, Bongo and Mash seemed terrified. Perhaps it was the horrendous stench of the mud required for the song’s dangerous mosh pit atmosphere or the twelve minute interlude that consisted only of Jamie and Patrick screaming “SUCK MUD!!!!” into the microphones at truly scary volumes. Regardless, Bongo and Mash were gone when they regained consciousness. As they leave the prison in search of the Mikey Mike and the Mikey Mike’s concert they wonder how it is they got to this warped HoE dimension. “Physics,” a voice says behind them. When they whirl around a hooded man is already heading into the woods. They follow him to a quaint house. “What do you mean physics? What do you even know about it?” Jamie asks. The man shakes his head and mutters one word, “everything,” and pulls down his hood. Jamie and Patrick gasp, it’s Kyle… or is it Kyle? He has to be at least 15 years older. “It is him,” a voice says behind them, “it’s us.” When they turn they see Rachel. And with her is a brood of five girls and boys. Wha-wha-whaaaaa?! That’s right! We’re watching the comedy classic Girls and Boys… you know, the Freddie Prinze Jr. film that was a giant box office smash and *check notes* oh no nevermind, then fell into obscurity. Don’t worry about it, we’ll still watch it. Let’s go!

Boys and Girls (2000) – BMeTric: 44.7; Notability: 47

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 12.0%; Notability: top 8.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 7.2%; Higher BMeT: Battlefield Earth, Dungeons & Dragons, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, Urban Legends: Final Cut, 102 Dalmatians, Highlander: Endgame, Dracula 2000, Supernova, Big Momma’s House, Get Carter, The Next Best Thing, Little Nicky, Down to You, Hanging Up, Lost Souls, Bless the Child, The Crow: Salvation, Fortress 2: Re-Entry, and 10 more; Higher Notability: Little Nicky, Gone in 60 Seconds, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Coyote Ugly, Mission to Mars, Ready to Rumble, Lost Souls, Proof of Life, Rules of Engagement, Reindeer Games, 102 Dalmatians, Thomas and the Magic Railroad, Hollow Man, Bless the Child, Supernova, Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, Final Destination, Dude, Where’s My Car?, Dracula 2000, Get Carter, and 2 more; Lower RT: 3 Strikes, Fortress 2: Re-Entry, My 5 Wives, The in Crowd, Battlefield Earth, Bless the Child, Down to You, Lost Souls, Turn It Up, The Skulls, Urban Legends: Final Cut, Dungeons & Dragons, Supernova, I Dreamed of Africa, Ed Gein, Screwed, The Watcher; Notes: A little weak maybe, but we didn’t have many options (see below). Probably most impressive with the Rotten Tomatoes score. I really want to watch Fortress 2: Re-Entry … more than I should. Pretty high notability for a romantic comedy though.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – “Boys and Girls” is soothing and harmless, gentle and interminable. It is about two people who might as well fall in love, since fate and the plot have given them nothing else to do and no one else to do it with. Compared to the wisdom and wickedness of “High Fidelity,” this is such a slight movie. It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s that I don’t care.

(Yeah, that is what this film feels like. Like a year-2000 Hughes film or High Fidelity or something. A film about falling in love and growing up … except this somehow didn’t work which is interesting.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBIYE656wr0/

(OH NO. Oh no no no no no. Oh no. That is maybe the worst beginning to a preview I’ve ever seen. At least it gets normal eventually.)

Directors – Robert Iscove – ( Known For: She’s All That; Love N’ Dancing; BMT: Boys and Girls; From Justin to Kelly; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for From Justin to Kelly in 2004; Notes: He was nominated for two Emmys. One for a Cinderella television event film, and one for choreography for an Ann-Margaret Special. This pretty much ended his feature film career, but he’s done a ton of TV movies since.)

Writers – Andrew Lowery – ( Known For: Simon Sez; Nothing; BMT: Boys and Girls; Notes: Clearly a writing team, but Lowery actually had a real acting career as well, specifically in My Boyfriend’s Back and School Ties to name two.)

Andrew Miller – ( Known For: Simon Sez; Nothing; BMT: Boys and Girls; Notes: Also an actor, most notably in Cube. They were credited as The Drews for at least part of their writing career.)

Actors – Freddie Prinze Jr. – ( Known For: Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; She’s All That; The Reef; The House of Yes; Brooklyn Rules; Jack and Jill vs. the World; New York City Serenade; Future BMT: Scooby-Doo; Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed; Happily N’Ever After; Delgo; To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday; BMT: I Know What You Did Last Summer; I Still Know What You Did Last Summer; Boys and Girls; Summer Catch; Head Over Heels; Down to You; Wing Commander; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Scooby-Doo in 2003; Notes: We are getting pretty close with his BMT career. If we knocked out the Scooby-Doos we’d be real close. He’s kind of a famous voice actor now, specifically in a lot of Star Wars stuff.)

Claire Forlani – ( Known For: Meet Joe Black; The Rock; Five Feet Apart; Green Street Hooligans; Mallrats; Mystery Men; Black Beauty; Love’s Kitchen; For Your Consideration; Basquiat; Hallam Foe; Police Academy: Mission to Moscow; An Affair to Die For; Flashbacks of a Fool; Precious Cargo; Shannon’s Rainbow; Shadows in the Sun; Head Full of Honey; Another Me; Ripley Under Ground; Future BMT: Antitrust; Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius; BMT: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale; The Medallion; Boys and Girls; Notes: Married to Dougray Scott. She apparently walked off of Deep Rising and, based on the credits, I think was replaced by Famke Janssen.)

Brendon Ryan Barrett – ( Known For: Lloyd; The Shadow Men; Durango Kids; BMT: Boys and Girls; Notes: Screw it I’m leaving it. This is the actor who played the young version of Freddie Prinze Jr. for approximately 5 minutes of the film. He was in all 25 episodes of Soul Man, a television program I’ve never heard of starring Dan Aykroyd.)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $21,799,652 (Worldwide: $25,850,615)

(Not great. But I don’t believe that budget. However, I do think this was filmed on location in San Francisco … so I guess that could have driven things up a bit.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 11% (7/63): Boys and Girls feels like a cheap rip-off of When Harry Met Sally. The predictable and stale story fails to engage.

(I mean, yeah, it is a predictable cheap rip-off of When Harry Met Sally. Wait, was 2000 the year where ripping off old movies officially became a no-go for Hollywood? They were basically releasing the same movie over and over in the 40s through to the early 70s sometimes, and the reviews seemed like they were mostly just like “the new actors weren’t as good.” … Now that I say that all out loud though, Freddie Prinze Jr. and Claire Forlani are definitely not peak Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan, so the reviews now seem pretty fair.)

Reviewer Highlight: [Iscove’s] brought with him his cottage-cheese- chunky storytelling skills, patented dance-so-no-one- notices-we’re-tanking musical interludes, and, oh yes, the redoubtable Freddie Prinze Jr. – Wesley Morris, San Francisco Examiner

Poster – Sklogs and Glogs

(Nope. Not into it. The spacing and such is fine it’s just… pretty much everything else that’s wrong with it. C-)

Tagline(s) – Opposites Attack (F)

(Wooooaaaahhhh. I have to say, in any other context that might be a solid A-. It’s short and sweet and riffing on a phrase. Wouldn’t be wholly unique, perhaps, but good if it had the right movie to sit with. The problem? This makes absolutely no sense for this film. What a waste. And for that I give it an F.)

Keyword(s) – dimension

Top 10: Sin City (2005), Spectre (2015), The Others (2001), Scream (1996), Equilibrium (2002), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), The Mist (2007), Death Proof (2007), 1408 (2007), Scary Movie (2000)

Future BMT: 86.5 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.8 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.4 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 68.6 Pulse (2006), 66.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 64.9 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 61.8 Cursed (2005), 58.9 Apollo 18 (2011)

BMT: Scary Movie V (2013), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), Halloween II (2009), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), My Boss’s Daughter (2003), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Dracula 2000 (2000), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Phantoms (1998), Boys and Girls (2000), Texas Rangers (2001), Reindeer Games (2000), Halloween (2007), Mindhunters (2004)

Best Options (Romance): 44.6 Boys and Girls (2000), 27.3 Senseless (1998)

(Boom, smashed out the best option on the table. And boom … we are still mostly just watching late-90s Dimension. In our defense that’s when they released their best stuff! After 2002ish the studio starts to release real weird stuff like Spy Kids spin-offs.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Claire Forlani is No. 2 billed in Boys and Girls and No. 8 billed in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 8) + (3 + 1) = 14. If we were to watch Wicker Park we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The students seen in several scenes at UC Berkeley are actual Berkeley students; the movie was filmed while classes were in session.

Jason Biggs shot this concurrently with Loser (2000) which was being filmed at the same time in Canada. This necessitated him flying between Toronto and Los Angeles.

Freddie Prinze Jr. deliberately opted for the role of a geek as he was tired of being cast as a pretty boy.

Claire Forlani was aghast when she was told she would be appearing in a dance number. The troupe had been rehearsing the routine for two days – Forlani was given half an hour to learn the moves.

The homecoming scene was shot over Thanksgiving.

Jason Biggs and Alyson Hannigan later starred in the American Pie series together.

This reunites director Robert Iscove with Freddie Prinze Jr. after their previous hit together, She’s All That (1999).

Morbius Preview

Jamie flips back the denim sheet covering the other crate of jorts and huddled in the corner is, “Little Mikey Myers?” Jamie and Patrick gasp simultaneously. Now in his late teens and clutching a PaJama ParTy CD to his chest, Mikey Myers looks at them with fear in his eyes. “Are you…,” he stammers but can’t finish the thought before he faints. This is tickling some vague memory for Patrick, but he can’t quite grasp it. “Wake him up and bring him along. We can’t risk him alerting the guards,” Patrick finally says and soon they are all on their way to the PaJama ParTy green room. LePumice is staring around at his surroundings in awe. “The last concert,” he whispers, “the scene of the crime.” Jamie’s jaw clenches. “Yes,” he agrees, “the night we embarrassed ourselves. It’s clear we were sent here to stop Ty from doing what he did. To resolve the sins of the past and give PaJama ParTy the send off it deserved.” But Patrick isn’t so sure. When they reach the green room door they take a deep breath before busting into the room, a twin chop ready for action. The scene is familiar, Parsons eyes glazed, Ty a devious smirk on his lips, and Jamie and Patrick about to mack on some potent weed brownies. Jamie screams, “Don’t eat it, it’s reefer. Ty is trying to ruin everything.” But instead of a thanks, teen heartthrob Jamie just rolls his eyes. “Uh duh, gramps. That’s the point,” and with that he downs the brownie. Now they remember… The fans were too much, the fame was too much. They did it together. “Now what?” Jamie says hopelessly. Patrick looks at his watch and looks at LePumice, Mikey, and Patrick. “Looks like we’re doing this live.” That’s right! We are doing it Live! BMT Live, that is, and watching the latest, greatest, worstest movie on the block: Morbius. He is a living vampire and we are living people actually going to the theater to watch the film. Let’s go!

Morbius (2022) – BMeTric: 53.5; Notability: 34

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 3.6%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Brazen, The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild, Moonfall, Blacklight; Lower RT: Blacklight, Brazen; Notes: So yeah, 34 probably actually translates to what? Like 70 in the long run for Notability. So you probably have to double things. Would be kind of interesting to try and figure something like that out. Could use Lives! from the last few years maybe (NOTE: Looking back at a few it seems like x1.5 is a pretty safe bet. Unfortunately Notability doesn’t go back very far). I am very much looking forward to Blacklight though.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Dr. Michael Morbius (Jared Leto), the title character of Columbia Pictures’ MCU-adjacent semi-horror movie “Morbius,” is a “living vampire.” What, you might be thinking, does that mean? Did the good doctor become a vampire without having to die first? Why, yes—he fused his DNA with vampire bat DNA in an attempt to cure the rare, fatal blood disease that’s been plaguing him since childhood. (What disease, you ask? You sweet, innocent child.) The fusion gave him super speed, super strength, echolocation abilities, and an appetite for blood that’s only partially sated by the artificial substitute for which Morbius rejects a Nobel Prize at the beginning of the film. (Why? Again, you’re asking too many questions.) In short, he’s a science vampire. (So, like if Batman was a doctor, then? Wrong universe, but close.)

(It is a very accurate description of how maddening this film is. But … how is that review a 2/4 stars? The film isn’t close to that good and is gobbledegook, so I don’t get how you go above 1.5 stars at all.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQK-QxxtE8Y/

(Yeah … that looks like garbage haha. Dark, nonsensical garbage. So that’s something to look forward to.)

Directors – Daniel Espinosa – ( Known For: Life; Safe House; Child 44; Snabba Cash; BMT: Morbius; Notes: He is from Sweden. He is announced for two Middle-East-set films about war. I assume in the end only one of those will actually be made.)

Writers – Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless – ( Known For: Power Rangers; Future BMT: Dracula Untold; BMT: Morbius; Gods of Egypt; The Last Witch Hunter; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Gods of Egypt in 2017; Notes: A writing team who also created the new Lost in Space series. They are also writing a Madam Web movie … for real, who are these characters Sony is making movies about?)

Actors – Jared Leto – ( Known For: Blade Runner 2049; House of Gucci; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; American Psycho; Fight Club; Requiem for a Dream; Panic Room; The Little Things; Dallas Buyers Club; Girl, Interrupted; Lord of War; Mr. Nobody; The Thin Red Line; The Outsider; Chapter 27; Prefontaine; How to Make an American Quilt; Lonely Hearts; Highway; Sunset Strip; Future BMT: Suicide Squad; Alexander; Switchback; Black & White; BMT: Morbius; Urban Legend; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for House of Gucci in 2022; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Suicide Squad in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for House of Gucci in 2022; Notes: These days possibly more known for being somewhat of a lunatic on set than anything else. He won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club which has given him something of a blank check over the last ten years.)

Matt Smith – ( Known For: Last Night in Soho; Pride and Prejudice and Zombies; Official Secrets; The Forgiven; His House; Charlie Says; Womb; Lost River; Patient Zero; Mapplethorpe; Bert & Dickie; Future BMT: Terminator Genisys; BMT: Morbius; Notes: Actually most famous for Dr. Who. He was a fine Doctor, although out of the five Doctors since the restart of the series he might be my least favorite, personally.)

Adria Arjona – ( Known For: 6 Underground; Triple Frontier; Pacific Rim: Uprising; Sweet Girl; The Belko Experiment; Future BMT: Life of the Party; BMT: Morbius; Notes: She’s going to be in the Star Wars show Andor. Originally from Puerto Rico, she’s the daughter of singer Ricardo Arjona.)

Budget/Gross – $75–83 million / Domestic: $43,838,847 (Worldwide: $88,738,847)

(I think this will likely be a small loss for Sony in the end, but maybe not so bad that they will pull the plug on the Sinister Six entirely. I’ll end up probably around like $70 domestic and closer to $100 international for a $60 take home for Sony … not what you want, but also maybe not enough to deter things. Then again The Mummy made waaaaaay more than that and the Dark Universe was just one and done immediately.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 16% (33/205): Cursed with uninspired effects, rote performances, and a borderline nonsensical story, this dreary mess is a vein attempt to make Morbius happen.

(Really rather astonishingly bad. Shocking. Like … I was half convinced it was impossible to release a blockbuster with sub-20% these days just because of how studios could repeat the test-screen/reshoot cycle until a film was merely boring instead of outright bad.)

Reviewer Highlight: Morbius is a forgettable, often laughable, entry in Sony’s attempt to fill its own Spider-Man-adjacent cinematic universe, a poorly edited, derivative time suck — pun intended. – Mark Kennedy, Associated Press

Poster – Morbius: Two Wong Chew, Fangs for Everything! Julie Newmar (the Living Vampire)

(There is some nice effort here. I was afraid this would be blah grays and blacks, but they give it an 80’s vibe with some red, blue and purple pop. Nice font too. Biggest problem? This is what I call a Tom Cruise poster: all about dat star. But is Jared Leto really enough of a draw to be the whole poster? Feels incorrect. B-.)

Tagline(s) – The line between hero and villain will be broken. (B-)

(Phew, I thought the tagline on the poster was official and that one is terrible. This one is way better. Effective from an advertising angle (I’m intrigued) but maybe not all that clever or interesting. Still, not bad.)

Keyword(s) – vampire

Top 10: Morbius (2022), Twilight (2008), Doctor Sleep (2019), I Am Legend (2007), Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (2022), Blade (1998), Dracula (1992), The Lost Boys (1987), Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Future BMT: 90.0 Vampires Suck (2010), 88.6 BloodRayne (2005), 51.7 Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010), 49.9 Sleepwalkers (1992), 47.1 Transylvania 6-5000 (1985), 44.6 Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), 43.4 Bordello of Blood (1996), 43.0 Underworld: Blood Wars (2016), 40.9 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003), 40.9 Blade: Trinity (2004)

BMT: Morbius (2022), Hellboy (2019), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Priest (2011), Vampire Academy (2014), Queen of the Damned (2002), Dracula 2000 (2000), Ultraviolet (2006), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Dudley Do-Right (1999)

Matches: Twilight (2008), Blade (1998), Dracula (1992), The Lost Boys (1987), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994), Let Me In (2010), Blade: Trinity (2004), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 (2012), Blade II (2002), Underworld (2003), Dark Shadows (2012), The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010), Night Teeth (2021), The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Fright Night (2011), Near Dark (1987), Body Double (1984), 30 Days of Night (2007), Underworld: Blood Wars (2016), Fright Night (1985), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), Daybreakers (2009), Priest (2011), Vampire Academy (2014), Queen of the Damned (2002), Vampires (1998), Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), Underworld: Evolution (2006), Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009), Dracula 2000 (2000), Ultraviolet (2006), Sleepwalkers (1992), Underworld: Awakening (2012), Embrace of the Vampire (1995), Once Bitten (1985), Vampire’s Kiss (1988), Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995), Thirst (2009), Shadow of the Vampire (2000), The Little Vampire (2000), A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014), Fright Night Part 2 (1988), BloodRayne (2005), Freaks of Nature (2015), Paris, je t’aime (2006), Vampires Suck (2010), The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2 (2021), … (and many more)

(We’ve watched a ton of these over the last two years I think. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (or as I know it, LXG obvs) has somehow evaded us. It isn’t impossible that that is a Hall of Famer in waiting, that film is hilariously bad.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 10) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jared Leto is No. 1 billed in Morbius and No. 2 billed in Urban Legend, which also stars Alicia Witt (No. 1 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 10. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – The name of the cargo ship in the beginning of the movie is Murnau (as in F.W. Murnau, the director of the classic vampire movie ‘Nosferatu’). Like the cargo ship in ‘Nosferatu’, the Murnau arrives in port with its entire crew dead and drained of blood.

The character of Morbius can also be glimpsed in the bonus features of the Blade (1998) DVD, in a deleted ending.

Matt Smith joined the film, after previously turning down other superhero film roles, due to director Daniel Espinosa’s involvement and encouragement from his former Doctor Who co-star Karen Gillan, who portrays Nebula in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

The New York scenes were actually filmed in Manchester’s Northern Quarter, United Kingdom. All city lights, signs, and license plates were changed to match those found in New York.

In the subway scene, several ads/posters are seen in the background with the names “Thomas & Kane”. An obvious nod to Roy Thomas and Gil Kane, who were the creators of the Marvel superhero Iron Fist.

In the first crime scene, Agent Ramirez states that this was the weirdest crime after “that thing in San Francisco”. This is a reference to Venom. Later in the movie, Morbius states, “I am Venom.”

Leto was rumored for another vampire role, Lestat in Josh Boone’s failed Vampire Chronicles reboot.

Second SSMU film to tie-in to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, after Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021).

The original cut had Carnage as one of Morbius’ prisoners (before the film was reshuffled and placed eight movies ahead of where it originally was going to be).

The film was set to be released on July 31, 2020 in the United States. But when the coronavirus pandemic began to affect the film industry including attendance at movie theaters, the film’s release was moved to March 19, 2021, January 11, 2021 and finally January 28, 2022. Sony Pictures subsequently began moving their release date for 2020 films to 2021 including another film set in Sony Pictures Universe of Marvel Characters: Venom: Let There Be Carnage from its October 2, 2020 release date to June 25, 2021. Spider-Man: No Way Home, another Marvel film associated with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, was dated for release in the United States on July 16, 2021 to November 5, 2021, and again to December 17, 2021.

One of the key locations in the film is Horizon Labs, where Morbius looks after children with the same blood disorder that he has — while also carrying out his research into curing the condition. But Horizon Labs has been a huge part of the “Spider-Man” comics in the last decade, as Peter Parker worked there during Dan Slott’s run on the character. It’s a place for gifted scientists to work on the most cutting-edge technology and ideas, without the restraints of having to pitch them to a board of directors. Horizon Labs first appears in “Amazing Spider-Man” issue #648, and it’s run by Max Modell, one of Peter’s personal heroes in the scientific community. Morbius also works for Horizon in the comics, and he’s the one who creates a serum that saves everyone in New York when the events of “Spider-Island” turn everyone into giant arachnids. But he’s not the only villain to grace the laboratory’s halls. Otto Octavius, aka Doctor Octopus, also works for the company after he transfers his consciousness into Peter’s brain in “Amazing Spider-Man” issue #700 — and he uses Horizon as a way of developing new technology for his own heroic career. Although don’t worry, non-comic readers, Otto eventually surrendered Peter’s body back to the hero’s consciousness.

J.K. Simmons originally filmed scenes as J. Jonah Jameson for this movie. In the time that elapsed between the film’s original shoot and the production of Spider-Man: No Way Home, it became evident to the filmmakers that Morbius did not actually exist in the same universe as J.K. Simmons’ version of J. Jonah Jameson. As a result, Simmons’ scenes were removed from the film.

MCU fans prefer to think that the Adrian Toomes / Vulture from another universe is a variant and not the one from the MCU despite the confirmation from the director that it’s the same character, given how his character arc was resolved in Spider-Man: Homecoming and how his appearance here undermines it, not to mention how the logic behind his appearance in this universe doesn’t gel with how No Way Home presented the spell.

Walking Tall (2004) Preview

Having agreed that secrets are for sharing and that what is yours is mine (and ours), Young Mikey leads the whole gang over to his house. He seems quite nervous and understandably so. Young Jamie and Patrick explain that they have been less than nice to Mikey in the past. “We were bullies,” Young Jamie says ashamed. Jamie and Patrick remember. Like the time they put cement on his seat at school. “Ha, right. He was stuck there for days,” chuckles Patrick. Or the time they kept swapping his hat for an identical one a size larger. “Until he was convinced he was shrinking,” Jamie says with a snort. Or the time they put a fish in his overalls and the cats from all across town followed him around. “Yeah, and his dad was allergic to cats,” Patrick says, tears now streaming down his face in laughter. “Right, and then his dad was sneezing all the time and it drove his mom crazy so they started fighting and they almost got divorced,” Jamie finishes, his laughter petering out. “But that wasn’t really all that funny at that point.” Patrick nods. “Yeah, not really funny at all actually and they had other stuff going on… like not just the sneezing part… which you have to admit was funny, but not great given the circumstances of their marriage.” By the time they finish contemplating things that are funny (sneezing, cement, etc.) and things that are definitely not funny (fighting, potential divorce, etc.) they arrive at Mikey’s. Mikey flings open his cellar door and the gang gasps. A full blown illegal casino is being operated in the basement. “See, my parents need me to run the craps table tonight,” Mikey says sadly, but Jamie and Patrick are already halfway down the stairs.That’s right! We’re watching another remake of a classic (of sorts) with the early The Rock vehicle, Walking Tall. The original is more like a smash low-budget hit of the 70’s. The remake? Not so much. Let’s go!

Walking Tall (2004) – BMeTric: 23.8; Notability: 54

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 30.4%; Notability: top 10.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 25.6%; Higher BMeT: Catwoman, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, You Got Served, Torque, Taxi, Soul Plane, Seed of Chucky, Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, Thunderbirds, Envy, Godsend, Garfield, Fat Albert, Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London, Exorcist: The Beginning, Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, New York Minute, The Stepford Wives, First Daughter, and 56 more; Higher Notability: Shark Tale, Catwoman, The Chronicles of Riddick, Van Helsing, King Arthur, Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, Alexander, After the Sunset, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, Blade: Trinity, She Hate Me, Fat Albert, The Stepford Wives, Man on Fire, Around the World in 80 Days, The Phantom of the Opera, Alien vs. Predator, Along Came Polly, The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, Meet the Fockers, and 6 more; Lower RT: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, Twisted, My Baby’s Daddy, The Whole Ten Yards, Godsend, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie – Pyramid of Light, The Cookout, Christmas with the Kranks, Johnson Family Vacation, Envy, Surviving Christmas, First Daughter, Catwoman, Taxi, House of D, Exorcist: The Beginning, New York Minute, Employee of the Month, A Cinderella Story, Against the Ropes, and 42 more; Notes: I can’t believe this has a 6.3 on IMDb. Really high Notability though … for a film that is like 75 minutes long that is impressive I guess.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – I didn’t see the original “Walking Tall.” I was “out of town at the time,” I explained in my review of “Part Two Walking Tall.” Sounds reasonable. But I suspect the earlier film was tilted more toward populism and less toward superhero violence than the new “Walking Tall,” which is “dedicated to the memory of Buford Pusser” but turns the story into a cartoon of retribution and revenge.

(It took me a few times of reading this review to realize exactly what Ebert was suggesting. He had never seen the original Walking Tall, but did end up reviewing the sequel. As this was prior to home video to at least some extent Ebert just reviewed the sequel without seeing the original … and now he’s reviewing the remake without (maybe) having (still) ever seen the original. That’s kind of crazy.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edR_niqKp1Q/

(They are really going for The Rock in the previews, nary a mention of the previous film which I guess for some reason I find interesting. A veritable Who’s Who of early 2000s bad guys though, so that is exciting.)

Directors – Kevin Bray – ( Known For: Linewatch; Future BMT: All About the Benjamins; BMT: Walking Tall; Notes: Directs a ton of television. The Morning Show, The Game, Insecure, Black-ish. There is surprisingly little about him on IMDb, but he hasn’t directed a feature since 2008.)

Writers – Mort Briskin – ( Known For: Walking Tall; The Second Woman; Framed; A Man Alone; The Magic Face; BMT: Walking Tall; Notes: He wrote the original. He died in 2000, four years prior to this release. He also wrote 30 episodes of U.S. Marshal among other things.)

David Klass – ( Known For: Emperor; Future BMT: Desperate Measures; BMT: Kiss the Girls; Walking Tall; Notes: Hasn’t been credited as a writer since 2012, although he is clearly still working as he was a consultant for Between Two Dawns. Was a producer on Law & Order: Criminal Intent.)

Channing Gibson – ( Known For: Lethal Weapon 4; BMT: Walking Tall; Cradle 2 the Grave; Notes: Was exclusively a television writer until Lethal Weapon 4 (writing on things like L.A. Law and NYPD Blue). Was nominated for five Emmys for St. Elsewhere, NYPD Blue, and Murder One. He won for NYPD Blue.)

David Levien and Brian Koppelman – ( Known For: Rounders; Ocean’s Thirteen; Runaway Jury; The Girlfriend Experience; Future BMT: Knockaround Guys; BMT: Walking Tall; Runner Runner; Notes: Famously wrote Rounders and maybe gambled semi-professionally (I don’t remember). Writers on Billions, I mostly know Koppelman for his appearances on the Bill Simmons Podcast.)

Actors – Dwayne Johnson – ( Known For: Free Guy; Red Notice; Jungle Cruise; Moana; Jumanji: The Next Level; Journey 2: The Mysterious Island; Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle; Fighting with My Family; Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw; The Other Guys; Furious 7; Furious 6; The Fate of the Furious; The Mummy Returns; Central Intelligence; Pain & Gain; San Andreas; The Scorpion King; Fast Five; Skyscraper; Future BMT: You Again; Why Did I Get Married Too?; Tooth Fairy; Planet 51; Jem and the Holograms; Reno 911! Miami; BMT: Baywatch; G.I. Joe: Retaliation; The Game Plan; Be Cool; Doom; Walking Tall; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Doom in 2006; Notes: The Rock! Not quite the last film he was credited as The Rock (that would be Doom). A mega-super-star at this point, but back then he was a mere four years out of bit parts on television shows like Star Trek: Voyager and doing pretty much only WWE stuff.)

Ashley Scott – ( Known For: Jumanji: The Next Level; A.I. Artificial Intelligence; S.W.A.T.; Just Friends; Secret Obsession; The Kingdom; Puff, Puff, Pass; Lost; Future BMT: Into the Blue; 12 Rounds; BMT: Walking Tall; Strange Wilderness; Notes: Incredible she is considered one of the main three actors in this film (uh … where Neil McDonough?). Started as a model, and was married to actor Steve Hart.)

Johnny Knoxville – ( Known For: Mainstream; Polar; Lords of Dogtown; Above Suspicion; The Last Stand; Bad Grandpa; The Ringer; We Summon the Darkness; A Dirty Shame; Big Trouble; Skiptrace; Half Magic; Elvis & Nixon; Small Apartments; Rosy; Father of Invention; Nature Calls; Grand Theft Parsons; Daltry Calhoun; Future BMT: Coyote Ugly; Men in Black II; The Dukes of Hazzard; Action Point; Fun Size; Deuces Wild; BMT: Movie 43; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Walking Tall; Notes: You know Knoxville. Jackass was really how he became famous, another of which (and probably final) came out this weekend. His real last name is Clapp, he was born in Knoxville.)

Budget/Gross – $46,000,000 / Domestic: $46,437,717 (Worldwide: $57,223,890)

(Not really what you want. I’m sure there would have been another one if they could have gotten to maybe $75 million? Instead the series lives on with Kevin Sorbo …)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (35/136): The Rock makes a competent hero, but the movie is content to let a 2×4 do all the talking.

(Yeah, and really that isn’t what the original is really about. It is and it isn’t. A huge part of the original was about how his one-man crusade ruined his life in reality. You just know they weren’t going to have that be part of the remake.)

Reviewer Highlight: One mediocre, ploddingly predictable film, loaded down with cheesy Hollywood tactics – Desson Thomson, Washington Post

Poster – Rocking Tall

(No no no no no.. no! No! No!… … … no. No. I don’t accept this. Look at all that white space. No! Look at that dumb font. No no no! No F. It’s an F. I could have made this in high school. The only curiosity here is that The Rock looks like a normal sized human being in it. But otherwise. No!)

Tagline(s) – One man will stand up for what’s right. (D)

(Boooooo. Come on. Sometimes bad posters will have good taglines. This is just generic and not clever and doesn’t even really help with the plot. Oh really? The main character will be the good guy and he’s fighting some bad guys?)

Keyword(s) – sheriff

Top 10: Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021), Scream (1996), Scream 4 (2011), The Unforgivable (2021), Antlers (2021), Wind River (2017), Halloween Kills (2021), Django Unchained (2012), No Country for Old Men (2007), The Little Things (2021)

Future BMT: 90.0 Vampires Suck (2010), 79.1 Shark Night (2011), 77.9 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 74.8 Psycho (1998), 70.6 Halloween II (2009), 70.1 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 65.4 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 63.6 The Dukes of Hazzard (2005), 59.5 Witless Protection (2008), 56.7 Robin Hood (2018)

BMT: The Postman (1997), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), Battleship (2012), Friday the 13th (2009), I Am Number Four (2011), Jonah Hex (2010), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Wild Hogs (2007), House of Wax (2005), Young Guns II (1990), Sleepaway Camp (1983), Walking Tall (2004), Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009), Halloween II (1981), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993), Raw Deal (1986), Phantoms (1998), Fire Down Below (1997), Alone in the Dark (2005), Hard Rain (1998), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), American Outlaws (2001), Say It Isn’t So (2001), The Odd Couple II (1998), Bats (1999), Here on Earth (2000), Chill Factor (1999)

Matches: Scream 4 (2011), Antlers (2021), The Little Things (2021), True Grit (2010), Den of Thieves (2018), I Spit on Your Grave (2010), First Blood (1982), House of Sand and Fog (2003), Bone Tomahawk (2015), Winter’s Bone (2010), Planet Terror (2007), The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982), Rango (2011), The Silencing (2020), Robin Hood (2018), Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993), Red Headed Stranger (1986), The Dukes of Hazzard (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), The Gift (2000), 30 Days of Night (2007), Cop Land (1997), The Devil’s Rejects (2005), Premonition (2007), Walking Tall (2004), The Last Stand (2013), Life (1999), Powder (1995), Heaven’s Gate (1980), Leap of Faith (1992), The Kid (2019), Shimmer Lake (2017), … (and many more)

(Ah Jeepers Creepers III, the film I will never watch for BMT. I’ll stick with things like Smokey and the Bandit Part 3.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 10) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Neal McDonough is No. 3 billed in Walking Tall and No. 3 billed in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, which also stars Chris Klein (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (3 + 3) + (2 + 2) = 10. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – At the beginning when Chris Vaughn asks the sheriff what happened to the former sheriff it is said that the guy was a great man but they found one day he had mysteriously skidded off a deserted road and died hitting a tree. This is a reference to how the real Buford Pusser died.

Johnny Knoxville executed co-star Dwayne Johnson’s signature WWE finisher, “The People’s Elbow”

Dwayne Johnson’s stunt double in this movie was his cousin Tanoai Reed. (I think that’s his longtime stunt double).

Debut movie of Cobie Smulders. (She shows up for about 5 seconds and doesn’t say anything)

The film takes place in Kitsap County, Washington. The Kitsap Penninsula is across Puget Sound from Seattle, and is home to both the Bremerton Naval Shipyards and the Bangor Submarine Base. A large part of the population are military personnel. The movie was actually filmed in Squamish, B.C. The opening scene was filmed on the Bowen Island ferry to Horseshoe Bay

As a young man, Buford Pusser, the real-life sheriff who this remake is based upon, wrestled professionally across the South as “Buford the Bull”. Dwayne Johnson, who plays the character inspired by him, began his acting career as a professional wrestler.