Category: Preview

Stay Alive Preview

Jamie and the rest of the jury wander around Dark Territory, a neighboring village in the same county as Hallston named after its twin founders Terri and Tory Dark. “So he murdered the sheriff right here in the town square?” Jamie asks. The county prosecutor nods. “He slashed him with a samurai sword, shirtless, so his distinctive and hideous chest scar was fully visible?” Correct again. “Visible to that school house 300 yards away filled with witnesses?” Yes, yes, yes. “Then he parkoured onto the roof of the bank and escaped into Hallston?” This is all a matter of public record. “Then he was picked up at a Hallston motel with a samurai sword wiped clean and claims to have no memory at all of where he was that whole day, thus having no alibi?” The country prosecutor is losing patience. “Sounds like a slam dunk,” Jamie finishes and the prosecutor sighs and walks away. This incredibly sad person is getting on his nerves. Jamie looks at the accused, who is sitting solemnly with Ms. LaRouche. He looks him up and down and snorts incredulously. He looks at the school and thinks about how confusing it must have seemed to those kids. Both horrifying and yet rad. He snorts again. He kneels down and tastes the dirt. He raises his nose and sniffs the air. This doesn’t taste or smell right at all. His drop dead gorgeous mind starts whirring a mile a minute. The pieces fall into place and he murmurs, “my god.” It’s his turn to write something on a pad of paper. But he’s not showing it to Ms. LaRouche. He’s showing it to that young man who stands accused of this murder most foul. The paper reads, ‘Stay alive.” Ms. LaRouche smiles slyly. That’s right! We are staying alive with Stay Alive. This killer video game horror film is peak 2000’s and has been on my watch list for ages. A classic, “Wait, that was in theaters?” film. Let’s go!

Stay Alive (2006) – BMeTric: 62.3; Notability: 29

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 9.2%; Notability: top 34.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.9%; Higher BMeT: Date Movie, The Wicker Man, Ultraviolet, Pledge This!, Little Man, Basic Instinct 2, Material Girls, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Zoom, The Shaggy Dog, Big Momma’s House 2, DOA: Dead or Alive, The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, Black Christmas, Pulse, Crossover, The Marine, Phat Girlz, Scary Movie 4, Eragon, and 3 more; Higher Notability: Poseidon, The Da Vinci Code, Eragon, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Scary Movie 4, The Wild, Click, The Pink Panther, Smokin’ Aces, Zoom, The Guardian, The Black Dahlia, School for Scoundrels, The Shaggy Dog, Just My Luck, All the King’s Men, Happily N’Ever After, Lady in the Water, The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, Factory Girl, and 66 more; Lower RT: The Contract, Pledge This!, Crossover, Material Girls, The Covenant, Zoom, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Big Momma’s House 2, Basic Instinct 2, Deck the Halls, Happily N’Ever After, Date Movie, Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, When a Stranger Calls, Ultraviolet, See No Evil, Annapolis; Notes: We’ve seen 8 of those 20 higher BMeT films, but I’ve seen Santa Clause 3 and Scary Movie 4 on my own time. We’ll have to get back to those at some point. The 00s were nuts though, those are some terrible movies.

New York Times – Neil Genzlinger –  The star of “Stay Alive” is a cutting-edge video game, but the film still has hackneyed horror at its heart. And worse, it’s not even the stylishly, wittily executed hackneyed horror of the “Scream” movies.

(That title is incredible. I wouldn’t have really thought “beta” would have worked as an insult in 2006, go figure.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjzqGzuZSfI/

(my God it looks awful. Just, really, one of the worst trailers I’ve seen in a while. Sometimes we watch things where it is truly like how did this get made? Or more importantly, how did this get released to theaters as a real movie you had to play for.)

Directors – William Brent Bell – ( Known For: Orphan: First Kill; Wer; Lord of Misrule; Future BMT: The Boy; Brahms: The Boy II; Separation; BMT: The Devil Inside; Stay Alive; Notes: Mein got, The Devil Inside. Maybe the worst horror film I’ve ever seen, with the worst ending I’ve ever seen. Legend!)

Writers – William Brent Bell – ( Known For: Wer; BMT: The Devil Inside; Stay Alive; Notes: Not surprising he wasn’t allowed to write his own stuff eventually, those are his first three films! And obviously Wer is tiny. After that he did The Boy, and then that kind of wrote a ticket for a bunch of mediocre horror films.)

Matthew Peterman – ( Known For: Wer; BMT: The Devil Inside; Stay Alive; Notes: Maybe the writing partner of Bell? He has no other credits than those three, and never did any directing.)

Actors – Jon Foster – ( Known For: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines; Thirteen Days; Life as a House; Rampart; Like Father; The Informers; The Door in the Floor; Tenderness; Mr. Jones; Brotherhood; The Mysteries of Pittsburgh; The Last Rites of Ransom Pride; Poor Boy; Future BMT: Pandorum; BMT: Stay Alive; Notes: He is Ben Foster’s brother, which makes sense. He seems semi-retired at this point. If I’m reading this thing right, his wife played young Steven Tyler in an Aerosmith music video? … Can that be right?)

Samaire Armstrong – ( Known For: It’s a Boy Girl Thing; Rise: Blood Hunter; The 2nd; Terror on the Prairie; Windsor Drive; A Winter Rose; Future BMT: Not Another Teen Movie; Just My Luck; BMT: Stay Alive; Notes: You know Samaire Armstrong! Oh you don’t? She was the losing leg of the season one love triangle in The O.C. involving Seth and Summer. She is also a kook, calling BLM a terrorist organization, voting for Trump, and doing God’s Not Dead movies.)

Frankie Muniz – ( Known For: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story; Stuck on You; Dr. Dolittle 2; Big Fat Liar; My Dog Skip; Extreme Movie; It Had to Be You; The Black String; Pizza Man; My Sexiest Year; Future BMT: Agent Cody Banks; Racing Stripes; Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London; Deuces Wild; BMT: Stay Alive; Lost & Found; Notes: Y’all know Frankie Muniz … you know, the racecar driver. His career was short and sweet, and now he’s coming back for a Malcolm in the Middle reunion.)

Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $23,086,480 (Worldwide: $27,298,695)

(That is terrible, but also I don’t understand why this would cost $20 million … is it possible that a dumb company would overspend on producing the crap video game cutscenes? Maybe.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 11% (6/57): A by-the-numbers teen horror flick, Stay Alive fails to exploit its premise for any real scares.

(Six good reviews is beyond anything I could have imagined for this. So are 57 genuine reviews. I am often stunned by the films that got giant releases back in the day.)

Reviewer Highlight: Teen fodder like this isn’t known for sophistication or storytelling depth, but the filmmakers seem to take the film’s video-game theme as permission to eschew even the horror genre’s exceedingly lenient minimums for characterization. – Nathan Rabin, AV Club

Poster – Game Over

(I like the visual. I like the bold color. I like the font. But overall, this is also dumb as rocks. Still, there is a lot to like. B.)

Tagline(s) – You Die In The Game – You Die For Real (B)

Play It To Death (C-)

(I like the first one as a hook, even if it’s not all that clever. The second is blessedly short and I do know what they were going for. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.)

Keyword(s) – top BMeT

Top 10: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Green Lantern (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Ghost Rider (2007), The Happening (2008), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), The Mummy (2017)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 93.6 Date Movie (2006), 90.7 Vampires Suck (2010), 90.1 House of the Dead (2003), 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 87.9 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 86.9 Street Fighter (1994), 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 83.1 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.5 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 80.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.5 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 79.3 Boogeyman (2005), 78.7 Shark Night (2011), 78.2 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.1 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Battlefield Earth (2000), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Catwoman (2004), Jack and Jill (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), The Emoji Movie (2017), Cats (2019), Gigli (2003), Scary Movie V (2013), Alone in the Dark (2005), Jaws: The Revenge (1987), The Last Airbender (2010), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), The Wicker Man (2006), Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966), Madame Web (2024), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Slender Man (2018), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Jaws 3-D (1983), Troll 2 (1990), The Love Guru (2008), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), The Avengers (1998), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Fantastic Four (2015), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Norbit (2007), …

Best Options (Horror): 90.7 Vampires Suck (2010), 90.1 House of the Dead (2003), 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 87.9 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 80.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.3 Boogeyman (2005), 78.7 Shark Night (2011), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 75.4 The Apparition (2012), 75.3 The Grudge (2019), 74.8 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 74.4 The Turning (2020), 73.9 The Last Exorcism Part II (2013), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 71.6 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 71.1 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.4 The Pyramid (2014), 69.4 Black Christmas (2006), 69.3 Pulse (2006), 68.8 Captivity (2007), 68.4 Meet the Blacks (2016), 67.7 Seed of Chucky (2004), 67.6 The Disappointments Room (2016), 66.9 The Darkness (2016), 66.4 The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014), 66.2 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.5 Brahms: The Boy II (2020), 64.9 The Final Destination (2009), 64.8 Blair Witch (2016), 64.5 The Exorcism (2024), 64.0 Valentine (2001), 63.9 Skinwalkers (2006), 63.4 My Soul to Take (2010), 63.1 The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), 62.6 Imaginary (2024), 62.3 Stay Alive (2006), 62.2 Darkness Falls (2003), 61.9 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.8 The Grudge 2 (2006), 61.6 When a Stranger Calls (2006), 61.2 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014), 60.7 The Mangler (1995), 60.4 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 60.2 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 60.1 Spiral (2021), …

(This was chosen a while back. A crazy horror film with a killer video game. How haven’t we done this before?!)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 27) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Milo Ventimiglia is No. 8 billed in Stay Alive and No. 6 billed in Cursed, which also stars Jesse Eisenberg (No. 2 billed) who is in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (No. 3 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (8 + 6) + (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 27. If we were to watch Racing Stripes we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Countess Elizabeth Bathory did actually exist. However, for the perspective of the film, her story takes place in New Orleans, whereas historically she was located in Hungary.

It was Disney’s only slasher film.

Video game reference: The old-fashioned camera that Abigail uses in the film is a reference to the popular “Fatal Frame” (known as “Rei Zero” in it’s native Japan, and as “Project Zero” in Europe) series of horror/survival games, upon which the “Stay Alive” concept is partially based.

Milo Ventimiglia had to wear contacts in order to see through his glasses.

Ben Foster was going to play the role of Hutch O’Neill, but gave the role to his brother Jon Foster instead because he thought it was better suited for him.

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory Preview

Turns out she was right and by “now” she meant at this current moment. In a little known bylaw from 1897, Hallston had made it possible to get on a jury simply by asking. When Jamie showed up at the courthouse, Ms. LaRouche gave the thumbs up and the county prosecutor begrudgingly agreed as well because Jamie seemed so sad (like really sad). Besides, the case was a slam dunk. That’s how Jamie found himself sequestered in a motel, Patrick miles away in a farmhouse writing his thrillers (and erotic thrillers under a pseudonym) in peace. “Do you know what this case is about?” Jamie asks his neighbor in the jury box, an elderly man with white hair, a mustache and wearing a plaid shirt. The man says nothing. Jamie turns to his other neighbor, an elderly man with white hair, a mustache and wearing a plaid shirt. Same result. He attempts to get Ms. LaRouche’s attention. “Psst,” he pssts loudly. She pretends not to hear him. He guesses he’ll have to actually pay attention to find out and begins to regret having joined jury duty. Probably be boring. “… and the prosecution will, of course, be seeking the death penalty,” the prosecutor suddenly says and Jamie stands up in shock. “Yes?” asks the judge, annoyed. “Uh,” Jamie says, flustered. He looks at Ms. LaRouche for help and sees she’s holding up a pad of paper with the words “murder scene.” “May I see the murder scene?” he asks timidly. The judge looks at Jamie to scold him and pound his gavel… hard, but then he sees how ridiculously sad Jamie looks. ‘What the hell,’ he thinks. The case is a slam dunk, right? “Alright, alright. Pack up this jury and we’ll head out to Dark Territory.” Ms. LaRouche smiles slyly. That’s right! Finally! Finally we are picking up one of the Steven Seagal films we have hanging. This is by far his biggest BMT. A sequel to a smash hit and one of the best subtitles of all time. Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. It’s beautiful. Let’s go!

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) – BMeTric: 45.2; Notability: 79

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 7.6%; Notability: top 0.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 29.0%; Higher BMeT: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Vampire in Brooklyn, Fair Game, Showgirls, Jury Duty, Theodore Rex, Congo, The Babysitter, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, Judge Dredd, The Scarlet Letter, Nine Months, Virtuosity, Johnny Mnemonic, Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh, Jade, Top Dog; Higher Notability: Congo, Judge Dredd; Lower RT: The Big Green, Jury Duty, National Lampoon’s Senior Trip, Theodore Rex, Top Dog, Delta of Venus, Born to Be Wild, A Pyromaniac’s Love Story, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, The Hunted, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, It Takes Two, The Tie That Binds, Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Vampire in Brooklyn, Fair Game, The Scarlet Letter, Four Rooms, Man of the House, Three Wishes, and 51 more; Notes: Huge Notability. The others, Congo (played 59 times) and Judge Dredd (played 27 times), were both big on 90s television. This guy ran 32 times, which is pretty good. Premiered on HBO primetime on July 20th, 1996. That is almost exactly one year after release. Things were so simple those days…

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – There is always the possibility of being surprised at the movies. … I was also amused by the film. It isn’t as good as the original “Under Siege,” but it moves quickly, has great stunts and special effects, and is a lot of fun. And I want one of those little Newtons. I need it for writing my memoirs and stuff.

(I love this version of Roger Ebert. He did have a way of being like … this is a fun action film right? Can’t we just all agree it is a fun action film though?)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LorQZ4TfbTQ/

(For the record the satellite does not have nuclear capabilities. I know you have to give a reference to the audience, but it would be nuclear-like capabilities. “The cook from Under Siege is back”. … “This time, the sky’s the limit” WAIT, you can’t think of a good train pun. C’mon! This time, he’s engineering justice. Something dumb. I don’t care. The sky’s the limit? What does that have to do with trains?)

Directors – Geoff Murphy – ( Known For: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring; The Quiet Earth; Fortress 2: Re-Entry; Utu; Goodbye Pork Pie; Never Say Die; Spooked; Mauri; BMT: xXx: State of the Union; Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; Young Guns II; Freejack; Notes: Second unit director for Dante’s Peak. From New Zealand. Feels pretty sweet to complete this guy’s filmography … wait a tic, TMDb thinks he directed The Lord of the Rings? He was second unit director for the record.)

Writers – Richard Hatem – ( Known For: The Mothman Prophecies; BMT: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; Notes: Those were his first two writing credits, and he basically did only television from that point forward.)

Matt Reeves – ( Known For: The Batman; War for the Planet of the Apes; Let Me In; The Yards; The Pallbearer; BMT: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; Notes: Matt Reeves?! Genuinely like … how did Matt Reeves make it in Hollywood. All of his stuff is not super great until all of a sudden he writes Let Me In years after creating Felicity.)

J.F. Lawton – ( Known For: Pretty Woman; Under Siege; DOA: Dead or Alive; Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death; Mistress; Pizza Man; Future BMT: Chain Reaction; Blankman; The Hunted; BMT: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; Notes: DOA is a crazy, but you know what I’m most excited for? The Hunted starring Christopher Lambert.)

Actors – Steven Seagal – ( Known For: Machete; Under Siege; Executive Decision; Above the Law; The Onion Movie; The Patriot; Into the Sun; Ticker; Maximum Conviction; The Foreigner; The Keeper; Born to Raise Hell; Absolution; Sniper: Special Ops; Force of Execution; Beyond the Law; Code of Honor; The Perfect Weapon; End of a Gun; Contract to Kill; Future BMT: Out for Justice; Marked for Death; My Giant; BMT: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; Exit Wounds; Hard to Kill; On Deadly Ground; The Glimmer Man; Fire Down Below; Half Past Dead; Notes: He seems like nightmare. I’ll say that every time. He seems like a genuinely bad person. Was a fun action hero of his time though.)

Eric Bogosian – ( Known For: Uncut Gems; Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle; Reptile; Beavis and Butt-Head Do America; Dolores Claiborne; Deconstructing Harry; Igby Goes Down; Wonderland; Cadillac Records; The Stuff; Talk Radio; Ararat; Rebel in the Rye; Listen Up Philip; The Thief and the Cobbler; Heights; Safe Men; Office Killer; Born in Flames; Naked in New York; Future BMT: Blade: Trinity; Gossip; BMT: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; Notes: Massachusetts guy. I was just looking up Blade: Trinity this week because it is a franchise with only one qualifying entry … quite an amusing potential cycle. I just don’t know if there is a romance option.)

Everett McGill – ( Known For: Licence to Kill; The Straight Story; Heartbreak Ridge; The People Under the Stairs; Silver Bullet; Quest for Fire; Brubaker; My Fellow Americans; Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces; Yanks; Iguana; Union City; Jezebel’s Kiss; Field of Honor; Future BMT: Dune; BMT: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; Notes: Twin Peaks is the main thing for this guy in my opinion … fine he did a few David Lynch things.)

Budget/Gross – $60 million / Domestic: $50,024,083 (Worldwide: $104,324,083)

(Hmmm, I mean, it does explain why it didn’t get a third film set on a plane I suppose. That is probably half of what you want.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (11/31): Utterly forgettable and completely unnecessary, Under Siege 2 represents a steep comedown from its predecessor — and an unfortunate return to form for its star.

(Ha! Yeah, that sounds about right. I don’t think it is forgettable though. The train setting and the insanity of the villain is actually quite entertaining. It is just also unintentionally hilarious.)

NY Times Short Review: Dark and spectacularly dumb, with Travis vs. monstrous, grunning computer nerd. Feh.

Poster – Trains, Planes and Submerains

(It’s not wrong that I think this is dope, right? Even if it’s basically a giant picture of notable terrible person Steven Seagal. Look at that little satellite blasting a train. It’s like a work of action art. A train themed font would have made this an A. But it’s still a solid B+.)

Tagline(s) – A top secret nuclear satellite. A team of international terrorists. A government held hostage. An undetectable moving headquarters. Only one hero stands in the way. (Zzzz)

(Sorry I fell asleep and couldn’t grade this. In fact I still haven’t read the whole thing and I think I’ll choose not to.)

Keyword(s) – top BMeT

Top 10: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Green Lantern (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Ghost Rider (2007), The Happening (2008), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), The Mummy (2017)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 93.6 Date Movie (2006), 90.7 Vampires Suck (2010), 90.1 House of the Dead (2003), 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 87.9 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 86.9 Street Fighter (1994), 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 83.1 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.5 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 80.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.5 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 79.3 Boogeyman (2005), 78.7 Shark Night (2011), 78.2 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.1 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Battlefield Earth (2000), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Catwoman (2004), Jack and Jill (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), The Emoji Movie (2017), Cats (2019), Gigli (2003), Scary Movie V (2013), Alone in the Dark (2005), Jaws: The Revenge (1987), The Last Airbender (2010), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), The Wicker Man (2006), Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966), Madame Web (2024), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Slender Man (2018), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Jaws 3-D (1983), Troll 2 (1990), The Love Guru (2008), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), The Avengers (1998), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Fantastic Four (2015), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Norbit (2007), …

Best Options (Action): 90.1 House of the Dead (2003), 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 86.9 Street Fighter (1994), 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 83.1 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 78.7 Shark Night (2011), 75.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.2 The Spirit (2008), 72.6 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 72.4 Dance Flick (2009), 72.3 Zoom (2006), 72.3 Singham Again (2024), 70.9 Snatched (2017), 69.8 Delta Farce (2007), 69.1 Crossover (2006), 68.2 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 68.1 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 68.1 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010), 67.8 Thunderbirds (2004), 67.4 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.3 Max Steel (2016), 67.3 Mr. Nanny (1993), 66.1 The Cold Light of Day (2012), 64.2 Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (2004), 64.0 Underdog (2007), 63.9 Skinwalkers (2006), 62.2 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 60.5 Biker Boyz (2003), 60.3 Code Name: The Cleaner (2007), 59.9 Agent Cody Banks (2003), 59.3 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.6 Resident Evil: Retribution (2012), 58.2 See No Evil (2006), 58.0 Legion (2010), 58.0 The Transporter Refueled (2015), 57.4 3 Ninjas Kick Back (1994), 57.2 Robin Hood (2018), 56.9 Land of the Lost (2009), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 54.4 The Counselor (2013), 54.2 Spy Hard (1996), 52.4 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1995), 52.3 Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010), 51.7 McHale’s Navy (1997), 51.7 Kull the Conqueror (1997), 50.9 The Core (2003), 50.8 Your Highness (2011), 50.8 Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016), 50.6 Megaforce (1982), 50.5 3 Ninjas (1992), 50.5 Cop Out (2010), 50.4 The Last Legion (2007)

(But wait a minute, this movie isn’t there?! Yeah, you see the actual cycle is “How haven’t se done this?!” but that like … isn’t a thing. So for now I just wanted to get a sense of how we were doing on the 50+ BMeTric films. This is probably the best we had, with something like The Karate Kid Part III or Biker Boyz being pretty decent alternatives.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Steven Seagal is No. 1 billed in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory and No. 1 billed in Exit Wounds, which also stars Isaiah Washington (No. 3 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 5 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 5) + (2 + 3) = 15. If we were to watch Out for Justice we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Producer Jon Peters drew the ire of Steven Seagal after the action star returned from a vacation in Indonesia and discovered that Peters had hired Gary Busey to play the villain – Busey famously played one of the villains in the first film, who was dispatched via explosion. Matters got worse when it was discovered that Busey had a “pay-or-play” deal which meant he got his fee if he was in the film or not. Ultimately, Busey was paid his $750,000 dollar salary – which allegedly came out of Seagal’s pocket as a producer – but didn’t work a day on the picture.

Original screenplay title, before being converted into a sequel to “Under Siege”, was “In Dark Territory”.

During this production Steven Seagal started wearing a girdle to contain his blubbery stomach. This was apparently a temporary fix, as he intended to lose the excess weight eventually. This has not occurred.

The scene of the destroyed industrial facility in China recycles unused footage from On Deadly Ground (1994) (another Steven Seagal movie). In On Deadly Ground, it’s the burning Aegis Oil facility.

Filmmakers pioneered a new technique that enabled them to film all the interior train scenes (practically all the film) in the studio. Tennis balls glued on the studio walls were used as reference points to allow computers to insert footage of Colorado scenery, even when the camera moved around.

Jury Duty Preview

Matt Craven stands solemnly at the lectern. Head bowed. A hushed silence in the room. Suddenly he looks up and shouts, “Are you hunting for savings?” The crowd is blown back by his energy and showmanship. “Are you craving for deals like you’ve never seen?” he continues, pulling back a curtain revealing a poster-sized schematic of the library teetering precariously over the alleged chasm (or abyss). With flair, he tears off a portion of the schematic to reveal a brilliant future where the chasm (or abyss) has been filled with unwanted waste products and the library replaced with a mall-type building labelled Matt Craven’s Craving Hunting Palace. So Matt Craven was using his considerable influence to buy the land cheap, bulldoze the library and build a mini-mall. And they’d be willing to bet that Stranger & Stranger Construction would be doing the bulldozing and building. What a scheme! The room is rocking and before they know it the vote comes up and is nearly unanimous. Jamie looks across the room and sees that the only other ‘no’ vote was from a woman wearing a scowl on her face to go with her fetching pantsuit and briefcase. “Let’s get out of here,” Patrick says with disgust. “Just one second,” Jamie says and catches the woman before she leaves the auditorium. It becomes clear that she is not willing to give up the fight so easily. Jamie realizes he isn’t either. “Where can I meet you to talk more about this?” he asks and she smiles. “Well, we’re always looking for good people like you to serve on a jury,” she says as she hands him her card. It reads ‘Gertrude LaRouche, Attorney-at-Law.’ “Is that how that works?” Jamie asks, perplexed, and with a wink Ms. LaRouche smiles again. “It is now.” That’s right! We’re doing our civic duty and serving on a jury of its peers to judge Jury Duty, the Pauly Shore flick best known for being the film I thought the quote “That’s nice, Peanut” came from rather than the correct answer: Celtic Pride. My mind is just too beautiful. Let’s go!

Jury Duty (1995) – BMeTric: 59.8; Notability: 43

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 10.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 0.0%; Higher BMeT: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Vampire in Brooklyn, Fair Game, Showgirls; Higher Notability: Congo, Judge Dredd, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, Virtuosity, Money Train, Showgirls, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Stuart Saves His Family, Panther, Four Rooms, Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead, Steal Big Steal Little, Tommy Boy, Assassins, Hackers, Jefferson in Paris, Canadian Bacon, Jade, Nine Months, Just Cause, and 7 more; Notes: Showgirls is a giant blindspot for us, but I’ve seen it multiple times and I also find it profoundly depressing, so there is that. This would have been the era where playing on television was a bit touch and go. Halloween 6 played only 3 times, Lawnmower Man 2 only 4 times, Vampire in Brooklyn was decent at 21, Fair Game was 28, Showgirls a shocking 25 times, and of course this played 64 times. Showgirls though … it played a lot on Showtime at 9PM which seems incredibly early. But I guess I’m a prude.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – The comedian Pauly Shore and I would find ourselves in agreement on one thing: The characters he plays are obnoxious. We part company, alas, on whether they are funny. I say they are not. … The screenplay, by Neil Tolkin, Barbara Williams and Samantha Adams, has some good lines, of which my favorite is, “Oh, to be young and on Death Row!” There are also many uses of anatomical terms, the usual toilet jokes, and ridicule of tabloid TV types who are, and I quote, “bottom-feeders who suckle on the juice of human tragedy.” I’m not sure the makers of this film should include themselves out.

(I’m not surprised Ebert hated it, and I appreciate that the review seems rather measured. Much more so than I would have imagined. Ah, to live in the day where it wasn’t all about dunking on people, even when those people are Pauly Shore in Jury Duty.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdKOtQlUS6s/

(I love the front part of this trailer. Like the film looks incredibly stupid, but I love the headfake on the serious film in the beginning. Just, they like don’t make ‘em like they used to. Also two OJ jokes in the trailer! THE TRAILER!!)

Directors – John Fortenberry – ( Future BMT: A Night at the Roxbury; BMT: Jury Duty; Notes: Does a ton of television, including Arrested Development, Psych, etc. A little odd he did any films at all … he maybe got this based on The Ben Stiller Show?)

Writers – Barbara Williams – ( BMT: Jury Duty; Notes: For whatever reason White House Down didn’t show up here, but it does seem like she has a credit on that. Might not be on TMDb.)

Samantha Adams – ( BMT: Jury Duty; Notes: Now this person only has Jury Duty. As a matter of fact this is the only information at all on her profile.)

Neil Tolkin – ( Known For: The Emperor’s Club; Future BMT: Richie Rich; License to Drive; BMT: Jury Duty; Notes: License to Drive is quite old, but he seems to have still been working a bit. Did the Magnum P.I. reboot.)

Actors – Pauly Shore – ( Known For: Sandy Wexler; Pauly Shore Is Dead; How It Ends; Heckler; Guest House; Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge; My Big Fat Independent Movie; Lost Angels; Opposite Day; Adopted; Pauly Shore Stands Alone; The Junior Defenders; Future BMT: Encino Man; Son in Law; Class Act; The Wash; For Keeps?; 18 Again!; BMT: Bio-Dome; In the Army Now; Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; Jury Duty; Notes: Things like Class Act and The Wash are bizarre. He has an amazing career. Bio-Dome, Jury Duty, In the Army Now, Encino Man, Son in Law. Five leading films, and then he completely flamed out. Maybe because he was difficult? Maybe the only person ever considered difficult for just being incredibly annoying?)

Tia Carrere – ( Known For: True Lies; Lilo & Stitch; Wayne’s World; Wayne’s World 2; Showdown in Little Tokyo; You May Not Kiss the Bride; Zombie Nightmare; Easter Sunday; My Teacher’s Wife; Hollow Point; Showdown in Manila; Wild Cherry; Gutshot Straight; 20 Dates; The Legend of Hallowaiian; The Immortals; Hard Breakers; Top of the World; Scar City; Merlin: The Return; Future BMT: Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man; Kull the Conqueror; BMT: Rising Sun; High School High; Jury Duty; Notes: Was a regular on General Hospital. She almost only does voice work now. She was, weirdly, the star of a syndicated show called Relic Hunter I’ve never heard of. Ran for 66 episodes. First-run syndication was nuts back in the day.)

Stanley Tucci – ( Known For: The Hunger Games; Captain America: The First Avenger; The Hunger Games: Catching Fire; The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1; Spotlight; The Terminal; The Devil Wears Prada; Easy A; The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2; Beauty and the Beast; Lucky Number Slevin; Road to Perdition; The King’s Man; Robots; Margin Call; Jack the Giant Slayer; Julie & Julia; Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters; Conclave; The Pelican Brief; Future BMT: The Lovely Bones; The Core; Maid in Manhattan; Beethoven; America’s Sweethearts; The Fifth Estate; Swing Vote; Billy Bathgate; Space Chimps; Who’s That Girl; Undercover Blues; In Too Deep; The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag; BMT: Transformers: Age of Extinction; Transformers: The Last Knight; Burlesque; Jury Duty; Show Dogs; Notes: The Tucc! Did you see the image of him when he was a Levi model or something. Absolute gun show.)

Budget/Gross – $21 million / Domestic: $17,014,653 (Worldwide: $17,014,653)

(Not what you want. I wonder why it cost so much … do you think it could be the rights to 12 Angry Men? It is almost explicitly a remake. Probably it is just that Shore cost a chunk of change by then.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 0% (0/14)

(Wow, incredible. But not surprising. If you want a consensus: The only thing amusing about this film is that is released during the O.J. Simpson trial.)

NYTimes Short Review: Loafer disrupts murder trial. Painfully unfunny.

Poster – Cutey Patooty

(Remember when that was a thing? No? Guess you weren’t watching Rosie O’Donnell like the cool kids. This is probably the best case scenario in what is a very unartistic style of poster. Wish the font was better, but it is getting the idea across. It’s funny because Pauly Shore is an idiot and now is involved in justice. B+)

Tagline(s) – For truth. For justice. For five bucks a day. (A+)

(Yes, please! This is great and fits perfectly into the rubric of what I look for. Unapologetic for the grade.)

Keyword(s) – top BMeT

Top 10: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Green Lantern (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Ghost Rider (2007), The Happening (2008), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), The Mummy (2017)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 93.6 Date Movie (2006), 90.7 Vampires Suck (2010), 90.1 House of the Dead (2003), 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 87.9 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 86.9 Street Fighter (1994), 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 83.1 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.5 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 80.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.5 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 79.3 Boogeyman (2005), 78.7 Shark Night (2011), 78.2 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.1 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Battlefield Earth (2000), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Catwoman (2004), Jack and Jill (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), The Emoji Movie (2017), Cats (2019), Gigli (2003), Scary Movie V (2013), Alone in the Dark (2005), Jaws: The Revenge (1987), The Last Airbender (2010), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), The Wicker Man (2006), Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966), Madame Web (2024), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Slender Man (2018), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Jaws 3-D (1983), Troll 2 (1990), The Love Guru (2008), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), The Avengers (1998), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Fantastic Four (2015), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Norbit (2007),…

Best Options (Comedy): 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 93.6 Date Movie (2006), 90.7 Vampires Suck (2010), 86.9 Street Fighter (1994), 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 83.1 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.5 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 78.1 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.9 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 76.0 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 75.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.6 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 72.4 Bewitched (2005), 72.4 Dance Flick (2009), 72.3 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 72.3 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 72.3 Zoom (2006), 72.1 Mr. Magoo (1997), 70.9 Snatched (2017), 70.8 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 69.8 Delta Farce (2007), 69.8 College Road Trip (2008), 69.5 Gulliver’s Travels (2010), 69.5 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 69.5 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), 69.3 Soul Plane (2004), 69.2 Norm of the North (2016), 68.8 Yogi Bear (2010), 68.4 Meet the Blacks (2016), 68.1 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 68.1 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010), 67.8 Thunderbirds (2004), 67.7 Seed of Chucky (2004), 67.6 Phat Girlz (2006), 67.3 Mr. Nanny (1993), 66.7 In the Mix (2005), 66.2 102 Dalmatians (2000), 65.3 An American Carol (2008), 65.1 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.9 The Comebacks (2007), 64.9 Sex Tape (2014), 64.7 Tooth Fairy (2010), 64.7 Fat Albert (2004), 64.6 Boat Trip (2002), 64.4 Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj (2006), 64.2 Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (2004), 64.2 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 64.0 Underdog (2007), 63.8 The Dukes of Hazzard (2005), 63.7 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.9 The Honeymooners (2005), 62.7 Space Chimps (2008), 61.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 61.7 Like a Boss (2020), 61.7 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.3 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 61.0 Meet Dave (2008), 60.8 College (2008), 60.7 Happily N’Ever After (2006), 60.5 Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil (2011), 60.3 Witless Protection (2008), 60.3 Code Name: The Cleaner (2007), 59.9 Agent Cody Banks (2003), 59.8 First Sunday (2008), 59.7 Jury Duty (1995), …

(Junior was probably the other one were could have gone with here, but it is crazy that we haven’t watched the Pauly Shore films basically straight out.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Charles Napier is No. 6 billed in Jury Duty and No. 3 billed in Rambo: First Blood Part II, which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (6 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 18. If we were to watch Encino Man, and Extraordinary Measures we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Stanley Tucci hated the movie and was so frustrated during filming that he started writing his own screenplay just to give himself a good part. That screenplay later became Big Night (1996), his acclaimed directorial debut film.

The character Tom[my] Collins is named after the mixed drink of the same name.

Shelley Winters’ last US Studio film.

Failed to recoup its budget ($21 million + marketing costs) and brought in only $17 million in ticket sales, making it a box office bomb.

The first Pauly Shore comedy to not star Brendan Fraser in any capacity.

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Pauly Shore)

Kraven the Hunter Preview

Jamie and Patrick can’t hide their anxiety as they sit through the third hour of a marathon Hallston town meeting. Following the disastrous library committee meeting, Jamie insisted that they start breaking the rules. A few soothing words, a reminder that rulez=coolz and a stirring rendition of Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer helps bring him back to reality. When the library decision was announced as part of the next town meeting agenda their hearts swelled. These have to be the rulez they are looking for! If they could just show their schematic demonstrating that the chasm (or abyss) was nowhere close to the library, but rather dangerously close to compromising the previously mentioned insane asylum, then they would Save the Library (as their new bumper stickers stated (and in smaller letters: But We Should Probably Do Something About That Insane Asylum)). Finally the vote on the library question comes up. The moderator swiftly moves to bring the question to a vote without discussion. Jamie and Patrick leap to their feet to protest, but just as quickly the moderator shouts them down. “Sirs… sirs, please. I’m sorry, but there is no more to discuss,” the moderator says, holding up numerous engineering reports. “Well, if you would look in the town ordinances you will see that in 1745 Hallston enacted the Library Discussion Act which requires that all matters concerning the library go up for discussion,” Jamie says, approaching the lectern. The air is electric and the crowd is buzzing. The selectboard looks shaken, but suddenly relief washes over their faces. A gasp escapes the crowd. Jamie and Patrick turn and see that international acting super star Matt Craven has entered the room. “What’s Matt Craven doing here?” Patrick murmurs in wonder. Unfortunately we didn’t get to partake in Matt Craven: The Hunter, the 10-part docuseries I produced about Matt Craven. Instead we had to watch Kraven: The Hunter that wishes it was Madame Web. Let’s go!

Kraven the Hunter (2024) – BMeTric: 50.9; Notability: 59

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 9.6%; Notability: top 1.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.6%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, The Crow, Uglies, The Strangers: Chapter 1, Night Swim, Tarot, Trigger Warning, The Exorcism, Imaginary, Joker: Folie à Deux, Hellboy: The Crooked Man, Mother of the Bride, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Time Cut, Mea Culpa, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, The Deliverance, Breathe, and 4 more; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Unfrosted, Reagan; Lower RT: Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Breathe, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two; Notes: Now that we are at the end of our 2024 journey let’s check the BMeT. Of that top 20 We’ve seen 9. So not bad, but also there are a surprising number of trash films that either didn’t qualify or we didn’t see … I heard that Megamind one was a catastrophe.

RogerEbert.com – 1 star –  Hacky clichés and contrivances abound, making it harder to enjoy when characters say something so gaspingly silly that you have to wonder: wait, did the Foreigner just explain his nickname by saying, “Because I’m not from around?” “Kraven the Hunter” is not, in other words, as mediocre or watchable as the average entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Instead, Sony’s latest Spidey yarn is a charmless stinker that’s only well-polished enough to make you resent the stench.

(Charmless stinker … so you’re telling me it ain’t Madame Web. Wait, what did RogerEbert.com give that film? Two and a half stars. Nice.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hR1-ihzff3I/

(The instant you see the guy intentionally going into prison to get to someone you know the movie is going to be terrible. And the movie didn’t disappoint.)

Directors – J.C. Chandor – ( Known For: Triple Frontier; Margin Call; All Is Lost; A Most Violent Year; BMT: Kraven the Hunter; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Margin Call. He is writing and directing a TV show remake of The Conversation? That seems like a bad idea.)

Writers – Richard Wenk – ( Known For: The Equalizer; The Expendables 2; The Magnificent Seven; The Equalizer 2; The Mechanic; The Equalizer 3; 16 Blocks; The Protégé; Fast Charlie; American Renegades; Vamp; Just the Ticket; Countdown; Future BMT: Jack Reacher: Never Go Back; BMT: Kraven the Hunter; Notes: )

Art Marcum and Matt Holloway – ( Known For: Iron Man; Uncharted; BMT: Transformers: The Last Knight; Men in Black: International; Punisher: War Zone; Kraven the Hunter; Notes: This is a crazy career. I wonder if I went back to watch Shadow of Fear I would find the true writers deep inside the IP facade.)

Stan Lee and Steve Ditko – ( Known For: The Avengers; Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Iron Man; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Spider-Man: No Way Home; Thor; Iron Man 3; Spider-Man; Iron Man 2; Black Panther; Thor: Ragnarok; Doctor Strange; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Spider-Man: Homecoming; Thor: The Dark World; Ant-Man; Spider-Man 2; The Amazing Spider-Man; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse; BMT: Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Fantastic Four; Madame Web; Kraven the Hunter; Notes: Stan Lee’s filmography, but these two are the creators of Spider-man so naturally they get a credit.)

Actors – Aaron Taylor-Johnson – ( Known For: Avengers: Age of Ultron; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Tenet; Kick-Ass; Bullet Train; Godzilla; The Illusionist; Nocturnal Animals; The Fall Guy; The King’s Man; Nosferatu; Savages; Shanghai Knights; Anna Karenina; Outlaw King; Nowhere Boy; The Wall; Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging; Albert Nobbs; Chatroom; Future BMT: Kick-Ass 2; BMT: Kraven the Hunter; Notes: Has been suggested for Bond a ton in the past. He certainly has the build. And he seems like he would be willing to do the thing that a lot of people seem to want to try (a Dalton / book version of Bond). Could work.)

Ariana DeBose – ( Known For: Hamilton; West Side Story; Wish; The Prom; I.S.S.; House of Spoils; Company; Future BMT: Love Hurts; BMT: Argylle; Kraven the Hunter; Notes: Notably  has had a string of stinkers since winning an Oscar for West Side Story. Is going to be in a TV show called Scarpetta which is maybe based on a book series, so I’ll be reading those terrible books.)

Fred Hechinger – ( Known For: Gladiator II; The Pale Blue Eye; Fear Street: Part One – 1994; News of the World; The Woman in the Window; Eighth Grade; Fear Street: Part Two – 1978; Fear Street: Part Three – 1666; Thelma; Vox Lux; Alex Strangelove; Nickel Boys; Let Them All Talk; Human Capital; Butcher’s Crossing; Italian Studies; Hell of a Summer; Pavements; BMT: Kraven the Hunter; Notes: Insane year. This, Gladiator II, Nickel Boys. Legit the full gamut of bad, mediocre, and great. I think he’ll win an Oscar at some point. He’ll find the perfect role.)

Budget/Gross – $110 million / Domestic: $25,026,310 (Worldwide: $61,989,190)

(Yeah a disaster obviously. I don’t know how these make money though. Like, $100 million, means it needs to make $200 million … in what universe does Kraven make $200 million?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 15% (24/155): Claiming no trophies with its rote story and shoddy special effects, Kraven the Hunter turns out to be a paper tiger.

(Hmmmm … I wonder if these are going to become AI generated. I wonder if they already are. The paper tiger bit just seems like a weird turn of phrase.)

Reviewer Highlight: Built on brawn, J.C. Chandor’s action sci-fi picture “Kraven the Hunter” is limited by incomprehensible plotting and dodgy one-liners delivered by a cast who seem to be practicing their worst Russian accents. – Robert Daniels, New York Times

Poster – Cravin’ The Hunter

(I’m just going to repeat my old man take from Joker on this one. Why is everything so zoomed in nowadays. Why do I need to be so zoomed in on his face for a poster for a movie. What is this? Face: The Movie. Is it about a dude wearing a furry jacket and nothing else? Bah. C+.)

Tagline(s) – Villains aren’t born. They’re made. (D)

(Not quite as bad a Joker. At least they do a little switch-em-up with Villains and Heroes. But it’s still just too too generic. Where have all the artists gone? Does no one care about posters and taglines anymore?)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), The Substance (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Civil War (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Gladiator II (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), Longlegs (2024)

Future BMT: 72.3 Singham Again (2024), 64.5 The Exorcism (2024), 62.6 Imaginary (2024), 47.5 Afraid (2024), 30.3 Slingshot (2024), 29.3 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 28.3 Devara Part 1 (2024), 26.0 Fighter (2024), 24.5 Red One (2024), 24.2 Summer Camp (2024), 21.7 The Fabulous Four (2024), 20.0 Reagan (2024), 19.9 Here (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Night Swim (2024), Tarot (2024), Kraven the Hunter (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024), Joker: Folie à Deux (2024)

Best Options (superhero): 50.9 Kraven the Hunter (2024)

(Boom, smashed out those superhero films this year. It is like a treadmill, you have to just keep on keeping up. As far as Future BMT is concerned though … Randomly watching like Red One is maybe the best we’ll do I feel like.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 22) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Russell Crowe is No. 6 billed in Kraven the Hunter and No. 2 billed in Virtuosity, which also stars William Forsythe (No. 5 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 5 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (6 + 2) + (5 + 5) + (3 + 1) = 22. If we were to watch The Eye we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – Previous attempts to bring Kraven the Hunter to the big screen had failed. Sam Raimi wanted to include him in Spider-Man 4 before it was canceled, and Kraven’s spear was seen in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) as a tease for his planned appearance in the Sinister Six film, which was also canceled. Ryan Coogler wanted to include him in Black Panther (2018), taking inspiration from Christopher Priest’s Black Panther comic book, but he couldn’t secure the rights. Jon Watts wanted Kraven to be the backup villain for Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) in case the multiverse story didn’t pan out.

The original release date of January 13, 2023 was delayed to October 6, 2023, then to August 30, 2024 due to strikes, then to December 13, 2024.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s six pack abs displayed prominently on the poster are real and not photoshopped. Photographer Gavin Bond who took the original picture confirmed saying, “Yes those abs are real, this young man put in some serious hours at the gym.”

In his more human looking form, Rhino wears glasses. In nature, rhinos have terrible eyesight.

The first Marvel movie from Sony to be released with an “R” rating.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Ariana DeBose)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Richard Wenk, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway)

Joker: Folie à Deux Preview

A week later Jamie and Patrick wring their hands as the meeting of Hallston’s Library Committee begins. The strangers they saw in the ASoMN weren’t just any strangers. They were The Strangers… of Stranger & Stranger Construction. The biggest construction company in town. It became clear from the equipment they had hidden in the erotic thriller section of ASoMN that they were there to scope out the place for something and Jamie and Patrick needed to find out what. Unfortunately, Jacques insisted that they weren’t going to get anywhere by following the rules and had already been Jokerfied. They hadn’t seen him since. As the meeting begins it becomes clear that the news is not going to be good. “We just got a detailed report from the local inspector and given the massive tunnel system under the library, it appears that the library could collapse into a chasm or abyss of some kind at any moment.” Jamie rises to try to show schematics detailing how the chasm (or abyss) was in fact under a nearby insane asylum, so the library was perfectly safe, but the committee chair bangs his gavel loudly to silence him. When Jamie looks at the name placard in front of the chairman his heart sinks. “As I was saying,” Chairman Stranger continues, staring daggers at Jamie, “Stranger & Stranger Construction has been nice enough to find a buyer for the land and so we move to accept.” Jamie and Patrick jump to their feet. “But what about the library?!” They shout. Chairman Stranger bangs his gavel several more times and with a dramatic pause announces, “There shall be no more library.” The audience gasps and Patrick can tell from the dull glint in Jamie’s dead doll eyes that he is one step away from becoming Jokerfied himself. That’s right! We’re being Jokerfied this week by watching Joker: Folie à Deux. It’s got Joker! It’s got Harley Quinn! It’s got song and dance! So it’s pretty much got everything. Let’s go!

Joker: Folie à Deux (2024) – BMeTric: 62.0; Notability: 73

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.4%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 16.2%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, The Crow, Uglies, The Strangers: Chapter 1, Night Swim, Tarot, Trigger Warning, The Exorcism, Imaginary; Lower RT: Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Breathe, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Kraven the Hunter, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Trigger Warning, The Strangers: Chapter 1, The Crow, Afraid, and 18 more; Notes: That is a crazy BMeT and Notability. I wonder if you multiply those numbers together what you’d find … could be interesting. I’ve probably done it.

Variety –  Did the critics, with “Joker,” turn into cautious executive scolds? In my opinion, they did. But the upshot is that Todd Phillips, making what I think is a huge mistake, listened to them. “Joker: Folie à Deux” may be ambitious and superficially outrageous, but at heart it’s an overly cautious sequel. Phillips has made a movie in which Arthur really is just poor Arthur; he does nothing wrong and isn’t going to threaten anyone’s moral sensibilities. In fact, he actually blows the only good thing that ever happened to him — winning the love of Lee’s Harley Quinn — because he denies the Joker in himself. He’s now just a singing-and-dancing puppet clown living in his imagination. Is that entertainment? Audiences, I suspect, will still turn out in droves to see “Folie à Deux.” But when it comes to bold mainstream filmmaking, it’s the scolds who are having the last laugh.

(Narrator: They did not. This ended up being a fantastic bomb. I disagree with people being scolds. The film itself just isn’t particularly good. Phoenix is good. But the film is cribbing from several other better films.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiqqAI0e4Nc/

(That movie looks dope. The movie that actually resulted? Boring and weird apparently. But that movies looks dope.)

Directors – Todd Phillips – ( Known For: Joker; The Hangover; War Dogs; Old School; Road Trip; Starsky & Hutch; Bittersweet Motel; Frat House; Future BMT: The Hangover Part II; Due Date; The Hangover Part III; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; School for Scoundrels; Notes: Famously made a boatload with the Hangover films. Famously made a boatload from Joker too. He’s nominated for Oscars for writing Borat (?) and for three categories for Joker, but didn’t win.)

Writers – Scott Silver – ( Known For: Joker; The Fighter; 8 Mile; The Finest Hours; Johns; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; The Mod Squad; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Joker and The Fighter. His career is wild. The Mod Squad to 8 Mile? Wild.)

Todd Phillips – ( Known For: Joker; Borat; War Dogs; Old School; Road Trip; Starsky & Hutch; Future BMT: The Hangover Part II; Due Date; The Hangover Part III; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; School for Scoundrels; Notes: He has a story credit on Borat? Oh yeah, he was the original director, but he left after the Rodeo scene and then Larry Charles took over.)

Bob Kane and Bill Finger and Jerry Robinson – ( Known For: The Dark Knight; The Dark Knight Rises; Batman Begins; Joker; The Batman; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Batman; Batman Returns; The Flash; The Lego Batman Movie; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; DC League of Super-Pets; Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman: The Movie; Son of Batman; Batman Ninja; Teen Titans GO! To the Movies; Reign of the Supermen; Batman and Harley Quinn; Batman: Soul of the Dragon; Future BMT: Batman: The Killing Joke; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Justice League; Batman & Robin; Batman Forever; Joker: Folie à Deux; Catwoman; Notes: This is Bob Kane’s filmography, but I grouped them because they are just here because they make Joker as a character.)

Paul Dini and Bruce Timm – ( Known For: Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn; Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman Ninja; Batman and Harley Quinn; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; Double Dragon; Notes: Similarly, he appears to have a lot of stuff with the cartoons, and so he managed to get a credit through that?)

Actors – Joaquin Phoenix – ( Known For: Gladiator; Joker; Her; Signs; Hotel Rwanda; The Village; Walk the Line; The Master; Napoleon; You Were Never Really Here; Inherent Vice; We Own the Night; The Sisters Brothers; Beau Is Afraid; Irrational Man; Ladder 49; Quills; Parenthood; To Die For; U Turn; Future BMT: 8MM; Brother Bear; Inventing the Abbotts; Russkies; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; Notes: Gave one of the most hilarious (IMO) Oscar speeches ever for Joker. Was nominated three other times (Walk the Line, The Master, and Gladiator). If you haven’t seen Beau is Afraid, watch it. It is insane in the best way.)

Lady Gaga – ( Known For: A Star Is Born; Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; House of Gucci; Muppets Most Wanted; Gaga: Five Foot Two; Quincy; Risk; Gaga Chromatica Ball; Bettie Page Reveals All; The Zen of Bennett; Future BMT: Machete Kills; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; Notes: Weird to think she’s an Oscar winner (for the song “Shallow”). But was also nominated for two other songs (The Hunting Ground, and Top Gun: Maverick), and a performance (A Star is Born).)

Brendan Gleeson – ( Known For: Braveheart; Edge of Tomorrow; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1; Troy; Gangs of New York; In Bruges; 28 Days Later; Mission: Impossible II; A.I. Artificial Intelligence; The Village; The Banshees of Inisherin; Safe House; Beowulf; The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; Cold Mountain; In the Heart of the Sea; Green Zone; Paddington 2; Future BMT: Kingdom of Heaven; The Raven; Live by Night; The Smurfs 2; BMT: Assassin’s Creed; Joker: Folie à Deux; Turbulence; Notes: IT is crazy he’s only been nominated for The Banshees of Inishirin. Is apparently in the upcoming Spider-Noir series with Nic Cage.)

Budget/Gross – $190–200 million / Domestic: $58,300,287 (Worldwide: $207,500,287)

(Yeah that is an incredible bomb. One of the largest of the year. It makes sense it costs that much … but why the production didn’t seem to have any control on what was being produced is beyond me.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 31% (113/362): Joaquin Phoenix’s eponymous Joker takes the stand in a sequel that dances around while the story remains still, although Lady Gaga’s wildcard energy gives Folie á Deux some verve.

(Yeah I can see that. The most interesting stuff in the movie is the DC stuff, but they seem so dead set on not allowing the film become a Batman film it ends up kind of being a letdown.)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s startlingly dull, a pointless procedural that seems to disdain its audience. – Richard Lawson, Vanity Fair

Poster – Midnight Toker 2: Stroker’s Ace

(A very modern poster. Got some art to it. I do like the odd coloring and they at least try a little with the font. But this also gives me an opportunity to sound like an old curmudgeon for a second. Why is everything so zoomed in nowadays? What’s with that? B-)

Tagline(s) – The world is a stage. (F)

(Get out of here with that shit.)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), The Substance (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Civil War (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Gladiator II (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), Longlegs (2024)

Future BMT: 72.3 Singham Again (2024), 64.5 The Exorcism (2024), 62.6 Imaginary (2024), 50.9 Kraven the Hunter (2024), 47.5 Afraid (2024), 30.3 Slingshot (2024), 29.3 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 28.3 Devara Part 1 (2024), 26.0 Fighter (2024), 24.5 Red One (2024), 24.2 Summer Camp (2024), 21.7 The Fabulous Four (2024), 20.0 Reagan (2024), 19.9 Here (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Night Swim (2024), Tarot (2024), Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)

Best Options (imdb-keyword-jukebox-musical): 62.1 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024)

(Haha, well yeah, it is the only jukebox musical I suppose. I unironically love that keyword.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Brendan Gleeson is No. 3 billed in Joker: Folie à Deux and No. 3 billed in Turbulence, which also stars Ray Liotta (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (3 + 3) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch 8MM we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The film’s subtitle “Folie a Deux” means “Madness of Two” in French. This initially led to speculation about Harley Quinn’s appearance in the film, which was shortly thereafter confirmed. The name Folie a Deux comes from the 19th century French psychiatrists Charles Lasègue and Jules Falret. The term was coined to refer to two or more people that share the same madness or delusion. It is also known as Lasègue-Falret syndrome.

This is Joaquin Phoenix’s first sequel in all his career.

During the opening “Me and My Shadow” cartoon sequence one of the crowd outside the theatre has the “Everything Must Go” sign that Arthur Fleck had stolen from him in the first Joker movie.

This was the first major DC Comics film to be released under the new “DC Elseworlds” banner. The term was first created in 1991 by DC Comics for the stories out of the canon, set in alternate realities.

Dropped 81.4% in its second weekend at the box office, more than any other comic book film, surpassing The Marvels (2023), with 78.1%.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Todd Phillips, Joseph Garner, Emma Tillinger Koskoff)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Todd Phillips)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Joaquin Phoenix)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Lady Gaga)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Combo (Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga)

The Strangers: Chapter 1 Preview

“The what?!” Jamie and Patrick say in shock. “The American Society of Movie Nerds,” the man says, rubbing some dirt from the placard as he passes through the door, “Why? What did you think it said?” Patrick and Jamie look at each other. “So, what is this place?” Jamie says after an unnecessarily long pause. They appear to be in a tunnel system of some sort. “Oh, just a place where movie nerds can get together and crunch the numbers on movies,” says the man, who they will come to know as Jacques. But neither of them are listening. For they have just entered a room full of the most wondrous sights. With a trembling hand Jamie reaches for a nearby shelf and gently grabs a VHS copy of Crackerjack. A tear rolls down his face. Jacques dabs his cheeks with a handkerchief. “Careful there,” he says soothingly, “you don’t want to damage the box with your tears.” Have they found their soul mate? They can feel the memory of Kyle fading like a photo of Marty McFly. After Jacques shows them a couple rare VHS copies of lesser known Canadian T&A comedies, Jamie, for the first time, sees a light at the end of his tunnel of grief. He turns to Jacques to ask if he might volunteer here, but Jacques is distracted. Jamie and Patrick huddle with him and see that he’s looking at a couple of fellow nerds. But there is something… off about these nerds. “Huh, that’s funny…” Patrick muses, “why are they so focused on the Star Wars and Star Trek stuff and not…” “the rare stuff,” they all say in unison. “Those aren’t nerds at all!” Jacques says in a panic before pulling an alarm and yelling, “There are strangers among us!” That’s right! There are Strangers among us. The Strangers: Prey at Night and The Strangers: Chapter 1, the two sequels to The Strangers. I’ve never seen any of them so I better buckle up. Let’s go!

The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024) – BMeTric: 67.8; Notability: 22

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 9.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 7.2%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, The Crow, Uglies; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Unfrosted, Reagan, Kraven the Hunter, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web, Here, Back to Black, Argylle, Red One, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Atlas, Lift, Jackpot!, The Union, The Crow, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Uglies, Dear Santa, and 4 more; Lower RT: Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Breathe, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Kraven the Hunter, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Trigger Warning; Notes: Madame Web. Hell yeah. It is entirely possible I’ve said exactly that in another preview. Don’t care. The BMeT on this thing is still absurd. So it the one for American Society. That film was fine.

Variety –  [I]t’s still somewhat refreshing, in this age of lore-heavy expanded universes, that even here the filmmakers (including Bertino, who has a story credit) refuse to tell us anything about the Strangers. The nihilistic randomness of the violence is what makes the film connect on a visceral level; to give them a backstory, or even real names, would be to go against the premise’s central appeal. “Chapter 1” can’t help feeling like an ersatz imitation at times, but it seems the franchise’s well hasn’t run dry just yet. But while it might change in the next two installments, to date nothing in the series has been more chilling than the original intruders’ response when asked why they were doing this: “Because you were home.”

(I actually 100% agree with it. The issue is partially that even the first one wasn’t that good? The premise was interesting, but the acting was kind of insane and everything took way way too long to develop. The later installments don’t really solve the second problem. Unfortunately the solution (more people, more kills) also takes the franchise further from its isolated roots.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pZUQmZdOi4/

(Is this the same movie as the first? The kids are there … it is kind of a weird trick. Like, making a new trilogy as a reboot? Smart. Acting like this isn’t just a reboot of the first one … weird.)

Directors – Renny Harlin – ( Known For: Die Hard 2; Deep Blue Sea; Cliffhanger; The Long Kiss Goodnight; A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; Cleaner; Devil’s Pass; Skiptrace; The Misfits; 5 Days of War; The Bricklayer; Prison; Born American; Bodies at Rest; Class Reunion 3; Legend of the Ancient Sword; Future BMT: Exorcist: The Beginning; 12 Rounds; BMT: Mindhunters; The Legend of Hercules; The Covenant; Driven; Cutthroat Island; The Strangers: Chapter 1; The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Notes: It is very weird that they got him for this. He has two more installments, one of which is already completed, so I guess we’ll see where it goes.)

Writers – Alan Freedland and Alan R. Cohen – ( Future BMT: Due Date; BMT: The Strangers: Chapter 1; Notes: They wrote a few different animated things, and specifically ended up being being nominated for three Emmys for King of the Hill, winning one. They seem to have specialized in Bobby-centric episodes.)

Bryan Bertino – ( Known For: The Strangers; The Dark and the Wicked; The Monster; Mockingbird; BMT: The Strangers: Prey at Night; The Strangers: Chapter 1; Notes: He wrote and directed the original. He is a horror director through and through.)

Actors – Madelaine Petsch – ( Known For: Polaroid; About Fate; Sightless; F*&% the Prom; The Curse of Sleeping Beauty; The Hive; Hotel for the Holidays; Jane; BMT: The Strangers: Chapter 1; Notes: She’s in the second and third film I guess. It did show that she survived at the end. She was in 131 episodes of Riverdale.)

Ryan Bown – ( Known For: Palm Beach; Notes: BTW his character suuuuuucks. He is also involved in some shark movie Harlin is directing called Deep Water?)

Matus Lajcak – ( Notes: Scarecrow. He is actually mostly a stunt performer (the usual for horror films). Nothing major though, like, Game of Thrones for one episode.)

Budget/Gross – $8.5 million / Domestic: $35,202,562 (Worldwide: $48,166,448)

(Huge. Will obviously continue to make them, and hopefully the later ones do something a bit more interesting with the concept. Please don’t be another Purge.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 21% (22/106): Lacking the chilling suspense of the original The Strangers and proving to be just unpleasant, this Chapter 1 closes the book on itself.

(Unpleasant is correct. Specifically, for whatever reason, the two main characters appear to be people who don’t particularly like each other but are in a relationship and I really don’t understand that.)

Reviewer Highlight: Once we’re able to see Harlin’s new trilogy as a whole, “Chapter 1” might feel more essential to the 4.5-hour experience. Right now, it just feels overly familiar. – Brian Tallerico, RogerEbert.com

Poster – The Sklogs: Now We’re Dumbos

(This legit looks like trash. It has crossed from mildly annoying to hurting my eyes. The positive is that the eye hurting is in pursuit of something artistic. I’m a little crossed up here. C.)

Tagline(s) – They don’t need a reason. (D)

(This is just kind of the idea of the first film and it’s not clever or interesting. But it’s short. Bless their hearts.)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), The Substance (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Civil War (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Gladiator II (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), Longlegs (2024)

Future BMT: 72.3 Singham Again (2024), 64.5 The Exorcism (2024), 62.6 Imaginary (2024), 62.1 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 50.9 Kraven the Hunter (2024), 47.5 Afraid (2024), 30.3 Slingshot (2024), 29.3 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 28.3 Devara Part 1 (2024), 26.0 Fighter (2024), 24.5 Red One (2024), 24.2 Summer Camp (2024), 21.7 The Fabulous Four (2024), 20.0 Reagan (2024), 19.9 Here (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Night Swim (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)

Best Options (franchise): 50.9 Kraven the Hunter (2024)

(As said, this does actually qualify as a franchise and beats Kraven (somehow), but due to a quirk in the email generation it thinks we already watched it … because we did, months ago. A little peak behind the curtain of BMTHQ here.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 25) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Richard Brake is No. 5 billed in The Strangers: Chapter 1 and No. 7 billed in Doom, which also stars Karl Urban (No. 1 billed) who is in Priest (No. 2 billed) which also stars Paul Bettany (No. 1 billed) who is in Firewall (No. 2 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (5 + 7) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 25. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Renny Harlin simultaneously filmed all three films of this trilogy. The producer explained that the lead star would film scenes for the first film in the morning and scenes for the second in the afternoon, commuting to many different locations for filming several times a day.

According to Froy Gutierrez, filming of all three films took place in Fall of 2022 over a 52-day shoot.

The film’s script was originally 280 pages long based off of notes and ideas which director Renny Harlin and producer Courtney Solomon juggled between each other. They then separated the screenplay into three parts which is now planned to be a trilogy of interlocked stories.

The third film of a series and the first film of a new trilogy. All films of the trilogy are directed by Renny Harlin.

The title suggests that it might be a prequel to the 2008 original, but it isn’t. “The Strangers: Chapter 1” is actually the start of a new trilogy, with two subsequent chapters on the way. It is a new trilogy, only inspired by Bertino’s original.

The Strangers: Prey at Night Preview

“The what?!” Jamie and Patrick say in shock. “The American Society of Movie Nerds,” the man says, rubbing some dirt from the placard as he passes through the door, “Why? What did you think it said?” Patrick and Jamie look at each other. “So, what is this place?” Jamie says after an unnecessarily long pause. They appear to be in a tunnel system of some sort. “Oh, just a place where movie nerds can get together and crunch the numbers on movies,” says the man, who they will come to know as Jacques. But neither of them are listening. For they have just entered a room full of the most wondrous sights. With a trembling hand Jamie reaches for a nearby shelf and gently grabs a VHS copy of Crackerjack. A tear rolls down his face. Jacques dabs his cheeks with a handkerchief. “Careful there,” he says soothingly, “you don’t want to damage the box with your tears.” Have they found their soul mate? They can feel the memory of Kyle fading like a photo of Marty McFly. After Jacques shows them a couple rare VHS copies of lesser known Canadian T&A comedies, Jamie, for the first time, sees a light at the end of his tunnel of grief. He turns to Jacques to ask if he might volunteer here, but Jacques is distracted. Jamie and Patrick huddle with him and see that he’s looking at a couple of fellow nerds. But there is something… off about these nerds. “Huh, that’s funny…” Patrick muses, “why are they so focused on the Star Wars and Star Trek stuff and not…” “the rare stuff,” they all say in unison. “Those aren’t nerds at all!” Jacques says in a panic before pulling an alarm and yelling, “There are strangers among us!” That’s right! There are Strangers among us. The Strangers: Prey at Night and The Strangers: Chapter 1, the two sequels to The Strangers. I’ve never seen any of them so I better buckle up. Let’s go!

The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018) – BMeTric: 53.7; Notability: 13

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.4%; Notability: top 24.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 24.6%; Higher BMeT: Slender Man, The Open House, Holmes & Watson, Escape Plan 2: Hades, Fifty Shades Freed, Siberia, The Titan, How It Ends, Gotti, Truth or Dare, Fahrenheit 451, The Predator, Robin Hood, The Nun, The Possession of Hannah Grace, The Week Of; Higher Notability: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, Venom, The Predator, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms, The Happytime Murders, Hunter Killer, Holmes & Watson, Mortal Engines, Death Wish, The Cloverfield Paradox, Fifty Shades Freed, Game Over, Man!, 7 Days in Entebbe, Johnny English Strikes Again, Overboard, The Girl in the Spider’s Web, The 15:17 to Paris, Gringo, Welcome to Marwen, The Darkest Minds, and 40 more; Lower RT: Gotti, The Open House, Billionaire Boys Club, Escape Plan 2: Hades, Slender Man, Replicas, Holmes & Watson, The Professor, Fifty Shades Freed, Winchester, Siberia, Little Italy, Peppermint, Life Itself, The Outsider, Robin Hood, The Darkest Minds, Truth or Dare, Look Away, The Kissing Booth, and 41 more; Notes: Slender Man, oh, the promise of the Bye Bye Man vibes, but just never really got there. Amazing it appears to have the highest BMeT of any film from 2018. That’s wild. Someday Gotti. Someday.

RogerEbert.com – 3.5 stars – Ten years is a long gap between a movie and its sequel, especially for a horror movie. That gap, though, seems as if it was enough time for the filmmakers of “The Strangers: Prey at Night” to get it right.

(Oh snap. The odd thing about Prey at Night is just that. I thought it was like … well received. Then it turned out it wasn’t? Kind of wild. Have we ever done a four star RogerEbert.com film? I venture to say no, although it is more possible since his passing and specifically a Horror film I would think.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNQrKls7k-Q/

(So … the same movie as before? I guess that is the allure of franchises like this. The same thing but more extreme and weirder over and over and over again. Like Saw.)

Directors – Johannes Roberts – ( Known For: 47 Meters Down; 47 Meters Down: Uncaged; The Other Side of the Door; V/H/S/99; Storage 24; F; Forest of the Damned; Hellbreeder; BMT: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City; The Strangers: Prey at Night; Notes: Man, Racoon City, remember that one? Oh snap, she has an upcoming film called Primate which is effectively just Cujo with a chimp.)

Writers – Bryan Bertino – ( Known For: The Strangers; The Dark and the Wicked; The Monster; Mockingbird; BMT: The Strangers: Prey at Night; The Strangers: Chapter 1; Notes: Writer for the original. He has a film coming out this year (it claims) called Vicious with Dakota Fanning.)

Ben Ketai – ( Known For: Malevolent; River Wild; Johnny Frank Garrett’s Last Word; BMT: The Forest; The Strangers: Prey at Night; Notes: He has some Crackle show called StartUp with Ron Perlman he created and wrote 30 episodes for. Television is wild man.)

Actors – Christina Hendricks – ( Known For: Drive; Toy Story 4; The Neon Demon; Detachment; Dark Places; Scoob!; Crooked House; Lost River; Struck by Lightning; God’s Pocket; Ginger & Rosa; American Woman; Candy Jar; Pottersville; The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry; The Family Tree; Company; Egg; Leonie; South of Pico; Future BMT: Life as We Know It; Bad Santa 2; BMT: Zoolander 2; Fist Fight; The Strangers: Prey at Night; I Don’t Know How She Does It; Notes: Remember Man Men? She is still doing a ton of television (lots of voice work), and has some mini-series upcoming. She was nominated for six Emmys. Never won. Which seems crazy. I think she ran into a buzzsaw of Justified, The Good Wife, and Downton Abbey. Still … at the very least the second season right?)

Martin Henderson – ( Known For: The Ring; Everest; X; Miracles from Heaven; Bride & Prejudice; Battle in Seattle; Little Fish; Skagerrak; Cedar Boys; The Moment; Kick; Future BMT: Smokin’ Aces; Windtalkers; Flyboys; BMT: The Strangers: Prey at Night; Torque; Devil’s Knot; Notes: Is very much in some television series called Virgin River. And then has something called Alphas in post-production.)

Bailee Madison – ( Known For: Bridge to Terabithia; Brothers; Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark; Conviction; Lonely Hearts; Phoebe in Wonderland; A Week Away; Play Dead; An Invisible Sign; Look; Cowgirls ‘n Angels; Saving Sarah Cain; A Cinderella Story: Starstruck; A Cowgirl’s Story; Watercolor Postcards; 25 Hill; Future BMT: Parental Guidance; Letters to God; BMT: Just Go with It; The Strangers: Prey at Night; Notes: Was in 57 episodes of some series called Good Witch. And she’s in the Pretty Little Liars … spin off? I have no idea what Original Sin is.)

Budget/Gross – $5 million / Domestic: $24,586,708 (Worldwide: $31,039,126)

(That’s great. I don’t really understand why it took so long to make a sequel and why it took so long to just go for the trilogy … then again, the new one is apparently terrible.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 40% (49/124): The Strangers: Prey at Night may appeal to fans of the original who’ve been jonesing for a sequel, but its thin story and ironic embrace of genre tropes add up to a bloody step back.

(Juuuuuuuust barely qualifies. Pretty silly. For years it didn’t, but then I think they got rid of one of the reviews or something? The lack of clarity on Rotten Tomatoes is quite frustrating. It really should operate a lot more like wikipedia than … whatever it is.)

Reviewer Highlight: Two films in, The Strangers has already become a horribly familiar franchise. – Clack Collis, EW

Poster – The Sklogs: Rich and Poe

(This is treating The Strangers like it’s Texas Chainsaw. Otherwise it’s… still kind of bad. Bad font. Looks kind of cheap. I don’t like it much at all. But it doesn’t hurt my eyes. C-.)

Tagline(s) – Let us prey. (B-)

(I mean, yes. I will ding it for being too generic.)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), The Substance (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Civil War (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Gladiator II (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), Longlegs (2024)

Future BMT: 72.3 Singham Again (2024), 64.5 The Exorcism (2024), 62.6 Imaginary (2024), 62.1 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 50.9 Kraven the Hunter (2024), 47.5 Afraid (2024), 30.3 Slingshot (2024), 29.3 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 28.3 Devara Part 1 (2024), 26.0 Fighter (2024), 24.5 Red One (2024), 24.2 Summer Camp (2024), 21.7 The Fabulous Four (2024), 20.0 Reagan (2024), 19.9 Here (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Night Swim (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)

Best Options (franchise): 50.9 Kraven the Hunter (2024)

(Since this is a bonus it won’t show up. And also because of how I generated the email it also thinks we haven’t seen The Strangers: Chapter 1. But it is one of two good options, and Kraven was a bonus Live we did right at the last minute, so this was the best option.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Bailee Madison is No. 1 billed in The Strangers: Prey at Night and No. 6 billed in Just Go with It, which also stars Adam Sandler (No. 1 billed) who is in Jack and Jill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 6) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 16. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Before the script was re-written, Kristen McKay (Liv Tyler) from the first film was going to return for only for the opening scene, where she would be killed.

This film was announced back in 2009.

There’s a scene in the movie where Luke puts down a pistol on top of a book. The title of the book was “A Stranger is Watching.”

The Man In The Mask is the only killer in the film to not have any lines of dialogue.

The director admittedly doesn’t like slasher movies or home invasion movies.

The American Society of Magical Negroes Preview

You could always count on the librarians to have the answers. After listening to Black to Black over and over for a week, Jamie finally agreed to come with Patrick to the ‘brary to return it. “Maybe you can pick up some more death metal… or really anything,” Patrick says brimming with excitement as they neared the library. “Anything?” Jamie says skeptically, but Patrick is already speed walking to the door. He waves hello to Denise and Denise as he enters and points in excitement at Jamie. “You wanna look at some old newspapers? The library even has those. They’ve got all kinds of cool things in them like TV listings and… mostly that really.” Jamie nods. That is kind of cool. But looking around he gets a crackerjack idea. “What about a VHS copy of Crackerjack?” He says, suddenly hopeful. Patrick nods hesitantly and looks at Nathaniel. Nathaniel shakes his beak quickly. “Uh, let’s ask Denise,” Patrick says approaching the front desk, his eyes pleading with either of the Denises to think of something. “Well, unfortunately back in 2003, around the time that a fun, but quite bad, Celtics team was getting swept by the Pacers,” Jamie and Patrick wince, “we actually discontinued and disposed of all…” but just as she’s about to destroy everything Patrick has worked for, she’s interrupted by a loud creaking of a nearby door. “Ahem…” a small, wizened old man coughs, “Perhaps I can be of assistance, Denise.” The Denises look at each other in confusion. They’d never seen this man in their life… in fact, they’ve never seen the door he’s come out of before and they’ve been working the ‘brary scene for nigh 25 years. A small placard on the door says that it leads to The American Society of… That’s right! We’re watching The American Society of Magical Negroes. You’re probably thinking “That sounds like a bad idea.” You’d probably be right. Let’s go!

The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024) – BMeTric: 68.9; Notability: 18

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.8%; Notability: top 12.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 12.4%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web, Back to Black, Here, Argylle, Kraven the Hunter, Lift, Red One, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Jackpot!, Atlas, The Union, The Crow, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, My Spy The Eternal City, Harold and the Purple Crayon, A Family Affair, and 10 more; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Dear Santa, Trigger Warning, The Strangers: Chapter 1, and 8 more; Notes: The BMeTric is not surprisingly off the chain. Fun fact: not that bad of a movie, just a bit tepid and boring.

Variety – “The American Society of Magical Negroes,” a comedy of racial images that’s every bit as witty and scandalous as “American Fiction” (it almost feels like a kind of cousin to Cord Jefferson’s film), only this one follows through on the outrage. The writer-director, Kobi Libii, wants to make us laugh and twist our heads at the same time. He brings it off. “The American Society of Magical Negroes” is a deftly observant fantasy comedy that stays true to its own irreverence.

(Nice. I kind of genuinely agree. The film is satire. Whether it bites is really up to whether you find any of it even remotely amusing.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gizIbhk5Eu4/

(This trailer looks dumb except when it goes real extreme. The White Tears meter is objectively funny. But mostly it looks dumb and like a generic romantic comedy.)

Directors – Kobi Libii – ( BMT: The American Society of Magical Negroes; Notes: He was actually an actor in real television shows, like Madam Secretary and Alpha House.)

Writers – Kobi Libii – ( BMT: The American Society of Magical Negroes; Notes: He wrote a V show with Jordan Klepper on Comedy Central which I’ve never heard of.)

Actors – Justice Smith – ( Known For: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves; Pokémon: Detective Pikachu; Paper Towns; Ron’s Gone Wrong; All the Bright Places; The Voyeurs; Sharper; I Saw the TV Glow; Every Day; BMT: Jurassic World Dominion; The American Society of Magical Negroes; Notes: To have this and then I Saw the TV Glow in the same year is something. I really like him, although I can understand why someone might not. He has a flat affectation. Works for me.)

Zachary Barton – ( Known For: Kajillionaire; BMT: The American Society of Magical Negroes; Notes: Oh yeah … these are fake. This is the first time in a long time where they did the actual credits order (which is by appearance).)

Anthony Coons – ( BMT: The American Society of Magical Negroes; Notes: The last time this happened was, I believe, Barb Wire. I’m choosing not to alter it.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $2,480,645 (Worldwide: $2,496,248)

(This certainly lost quite a bit of money. Justice Smith probably got paid enough to put this in the red.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (20/79): The American Society of Magical Negroes has a promising premise, but is too timid to fully engage with its most provocative ideas.

(Yeah, I can actually see that. It is a little quiet and timid, but that is kind of what you get from Justice Smith. I would have thought somewhere between 30-50% though, that is low.)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s not only utterly bereft of magic, but what it lacks it’s that sense of anarchic strangeness or weirdness… – Mark Kermode

Poster – American Society of Movie Nerds

(Did they not have a budget? Don’t mind the font and at least a little artistic. C+.)

Tagline(s) – Saving the damn world. (B-)

(I get what they’re up to here. I won’t say it’s good. But it’s subtle and I can appreciate that.)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Road House (2024), The Substance (2024), The Beekeeper (2024)

Future BMT: 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024), 61.6 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 27.4 Slingshot (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 19.0 Reagan (2024), 16.7 Here (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), Night Swim (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)

Best Options (From the Hip): 69.1 The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024)

(Yup, we really painted ourselves in a corner with this one. I remember having to very specifically work backwards and forwards a ton to eventually get the full chain to even work out. Thank god for David Alan Greer.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 22) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: David Alan Grier is No. 2 billed in The American Society of Magical Negroes and No. 8 billed in Tiptoes, which also stars Kate Beckinsale (No. 4 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 2 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 8) + (4 + 2) + (3 + 3) = 22. If we were to watch Blankman we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – The film was pulled from theaters after three weeks.

Spike Lee coined the term “magical negro” around 2000. It refers to a stereotypical Black supporting character who exists solely to aid a white protagonist. Examples include Forrest Gump (1994), The Green Mile (1999), and The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000).

The film premiered at the Sundance Film Festival.

This is Kobi Libii’s feature film directorial and screenwriting debut.

Back to Black Preview

Patrick sadly returns the copy of Tarot to the shelves of the ‘brary. He waves to Denise and Denise, the two librarians, who flash him a thumbs up. Since he’s been around so much they’ve started letting him return things to the shelves himself. “Caw,” Nathaniel caws. “Meow,” Mr. Whiskers meows. “I know,” Patrick says like a human. He wasn’t sad because Tarot was bad, it was exactly what he needed after bathing in Jamie’s eternal Night Swim. He was sad because everything he had tried hadn’t worked. What man could resist a cat, a crow and some chills? It didn’t make sense. “Hey Patrick,” one of the Denises says handing him a few more DVDs to stock. “I couldn’t help but overhear what you’ve been going through.” Patrick nods in appreciation. “It’s just,” she continues, “your crow and cat are delightful.” ‘Obviously’, Patrick silently scoffs in his head. “And Tarot is something the whole family can enjoy to unwind after a long week of not watching Tarot,” she says carefully. Patrick is confused as to why Denise insists on wasting his valuable restocking time telling him a bunch of obvious things. “But did you think maybe Jamie doesn’t want delightful things?” Denise finishes, hoping that Patrick was listening. Oh Patrick was listening all right. He was listening and thinking. Everyone knows what Jamie likes to listen to when he’s feeling up (Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer, duh), but what was his wallow music? And where would he find it? Suddenly he hears the distinctive “Caw!” of Nathaniel. “No fudging way,” he says, looking at the crow pecking at the CD by the very sad Norwegian death metal band Black to Black sitting right there on the glorious shelf of the glorious ‘brary. That’s right! You probably guessed it, but we are watching the Amy Winehouse biopic Back to Black. You might be asking, ‘Why?’ We would also be asking that. Let’s go!

Back to Black (2024) – BMeTric: 21.0; Notability: 45

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 18.8%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.6%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies, The Crow, Night Swim, The Strangers: Chapter 1, Tarot, Trigger Warning, The Exorcism, Imaginary, Joker: Folie à Deux, Mother of the Bride, Hellboy: The Crooked Man, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Mea Culpa, The Deliverance, Breathe, Time Cut, and 27 more; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Dear Santa, Trigger Warning, The Strangers: Chapter 1, and 22 more; Notes:

Variety – Amy, contrary to her mythology, does end up in rehab. Near the end of her life, she gets clean, as Janis Joplin did. But that isn’t enough to keep her from becoming a member of the cautionary club of pop stars who died at 27 (Janis, Jimi, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain). Her self-destruction is on full display in “Back to Black.” Yet the film presents it, even revels in it, without giving you the sense that it fully understands it.

(At one point I recall there being some issue with the involvement of either the ex-husband of Winehouse (unlikely) or her father, which made the film potentially a response to the Amy documentary which I think was very critical of her father. Given that I fully expected the critical response to be poor.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlW-jEscGgM/

(There was a better trailer (one where it seemed a little like there was a more traditional path to stardom … so I suppose deceptive maybe), but this one is still good. The music and singing seem killer.)

Directors – Sam Taylor-Johnson – ( Known For: Nowhere Boy; A Million Little Pieces; Destricted; BMT: Fifty Shades of Grey; Back to Black; Notes: She’s kind of a weird director in that she seems to fully be in the “paycheck” movie phase. She has nothing on the docket at the moment.)

Writers – Matt Greenhalgh – ( Known For: Control; Nowhere Boy; Film Stars Don’t Die in Liverpool; The Look of Love; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: Well, that at least explains why Taylor-Johnson is involved, he wrote Nowhere Boy.)

Actors – Marisa Abela – ( Known For: Barbie; Rogue Agent; She Is Love; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: Well known for Industry, the only real laudets for the movie were in her singing which is, indeed, pretty impressive. She is in Black Bag which is interesting.)

Eddie Marsan – ( Known For: V for Vendetta; Deadpool 2; Sherlock Holmes; Hancock; Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows; Gangs of New York; The Gentlemen; Mission: Impossible III; The Illusionist; Snow White and the Huntsman; The World’s End; 21 Grams; Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw; Match Point; Wrath of Man; Atomic Blonde; War Horse; Vice; Jack the Giant Slayer; Miami Vice; Future BMT: The Man Who Knew Too Little; 7 Days in Entebbe; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: I recognize him from Happy-Go-Lucky. He’s in a ton of TV at the moment, and is pencilled in for the probably-never-going-to-happen Sherlock Holmes 3 still.)

Jack O’Connell – ( Known For: 300: Rise of an Empire; Unbroken; This Is England; Money Monster; Eden Lake; Harry Brown; ’71; Ferrari; Starred Up; Lady Chatterley’s Lover; The Man with the Iron Heart; United; Trial by Fire; Seberg; The Liability; Little Fish; Jungleland; Tower Block; Weekender; Private Peaceful; Future BMT: Tulip Fever; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: He’s in both 28 Years Later and Sinners this year which … either of those could be good. The trailer for 28 Years Later at least looks incredible.)

Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $6,157,705 (Worldwide: $50,979,416)

(Not great. Kind of weird the budget is so high, maybe because of the concert stuff and paying the Winehouse Estate? Just seems crazy considering there is really no stars.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (63/181): Back to Black’s sympathetic approach to its subject’s story is an overdue antidote to the tabloid treatment she often received in life, even if the end results are disappointingly pedestrian.

(Again, the issue is being sympathetic to Amy Winehouse is one thing, but the documentary, fairly or unfairly, makes the treatment of the father in the film seem a little off somehow.)

Reviewer Highlight: Much like the rabid tabloid coverage Winehouse faced, Back to Black is a lazy attempt to capitalize on both the success and struggles of a great artist. – Emma Oxnevad, Chicago Reader

Poster – Back to Bakula

(I mean, I guess if I was super into Amy Winehouse this poster would make me excited for it. Despite being serviceable, I’m going to give it right in the middle because the font is the worst I’ve ever seen. C.)

Tagline(s) – Her music. Her life. Her legacy. (C+)

(I like the classic structure of this. It is extremely generic, though. Like why couldn’t this be the tagline to Selena?)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Road House (2024), The Substance (2024), The Beekeeper (2024)

Future BMT: 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024), 61.6 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 27.4 Slingshot (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 19.0 Reagan (2024), 16.7 Here (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), Night Swim (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024)

Best Options (Romance): 21.0 Back to Black (2024)

(Arguably this is our Romance film, but clearly that is in lieu of any other option. Is Romance dead? As a genre I mean, not in general.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 58) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Bronson Webb is No. 26 billed in Back to Black and No. 19 billed in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, which also stars Penélope Cruz (No. 2 billed) who is in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (No. 2 billed) which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (26 + 19) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 58. If we were to watch Entebbe, Surrogates, The Jackal, Nights in Rodanthe, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 21.

Notes – Marisa Abela had done most of the singing in this film herself. She trained extensively to mimic Amy Winehouse’s vocals.

Scenes were filmed at Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club at 47 Frith Street, Soho, London W1D 4HT, England and outside Winehouse’s first flat in Camden Town, and at Primrose Hill, London. In February, scenes were filmed inside the Metropolis Studios in Chiswick, London.

Jeff Tunke claimed he was cast as Mark Ronson and his scenes were deleted. However, director Sam Taylor-Johnson said Ronson was never a character in the film.

Following the death of Winehouse on July 23, 2011, several filmmakers attempted to create biopic projects but none of them progressed. By 2022, StudioCanal UK moved forward with production, and filming took place in London from January to April 2023.

Tarot Preview

No sooner had Patrick introduced Nathaniel Cawthorn to Jamie than he found himself back at his beautiful Hallston Public Library. Crows… crows were not his thing. He scours the graphic novels for his next great find. Not only not pounding the dweebs that he finds there, but even conversing with them on occasion. “Meow,” Mr. Whiskers says by his side, which reminds Patrick of his actual mission at the ‘brary (as he had heard the kids call it). “Right, I gotta focus and find something to help Jamie out of his doldrums.” But every graphic novel and book he looks at doesn’t seem to be quite right. “Caw caw!” Nathaniel Cawthorn screeches, much to the dismay of the shushing librarians. But Patrick knew that ‘caw’ anywhere. That was the caw of a crow with a hunch. Patrick follows Nathaniel as the crow flies over the stacks. Rounding a corner he comes to a screeching halt. “They have movies here too?!” he yells, getting another loud shush from the librarian. “But I’m guessing they only have only beaten up DVDs,” he whispers, but Nathaniel caws softly and pecks at a disc in the “New Arrivals” section. It’s beautiful. Tears well up in Patrick’s eyes. There was just no way Jamie could be sad watching that. A week later he surprises Jamie during one of the three times a day he forces himself to eat slices of unbuttered, dry toast. “Hey Buddy,” Patrick says, but Jamie just continues to crunch loudly into slice after slice of the flavorless toast. “You wanna maybe feast on something a little more flavorful?” With that he holds up a brand spanking new copy of the blu-ray (you read that right, blu-ray) copy of 2024’s Tarot, the hot new horror film for the gucci crowd. That’s right! The real life versions of ourselves are also watching Tarot, the hot new horror for the gucci crowd. Although I probably have to retire that phrase in favor of something to do with rizz… I’ll have to mull that one over in the ol’ noggin. Let’s go!

Tarot (2024) – BMeTric: 65.8; Notability: 12

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.8%; Notability: top 17.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.4%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies, The Crow, Night Swim, The Strangers: Chapter 1; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web, Back to Black, Here, Argylle, Kraven the Hunter, Lift, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Red One, Jackpot!, Atlas, The Union, The Crow, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, My Spy The Eternal City, Harold and the Purple Crayon, A Family Affair, and 23 more; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two; Notes: Horror BMeTrics are always off the chain. Dems the breaks Tarot.

Variety –  Set in a world where every door creaks and there isn’t a single well-lit location, “Tarot” is little more than a clearinghouse of horror clichés.

(Yeah, it isn’t wrong. This is a whole new era of “teen horror” I think. The type of horror you bring your boo to and snuggle under a blanket and pretend you are super spookified which probably smooching / on your phone telling you friends how spookified you are. Facts.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNTEjJm4WXg/

(Really profoundly dumb. The acting also looks dire, although I agree with some of the reviews, the fact that Batalon is in this at least intrigues you since he was a highlight of some MCU films.)

Directors – Spenser Cohen – ( BMT: Tarot; Notes: Wrote a bunch as you can see, but as a director he did a few non-qualifiers, and a podcast series, but Tarot is a somewhat ignominious feature debut.)

Anna Halberg – ( BMT: Tarot; Notes: Co-director on the podcast series as well, she was also involved in The Expendables 4, so she must be professionally involved with Cohen specifically in some way.)

Writers – Anna Halberg and Spenser Cohen – ( Known For: Extinction; Distant; BMT: Moonfall; The Expendables 4; Tarot; Notes: They have a AI horror film called House/Wife coming out, it looks rough based solely on the poster. Netflix though, so it’ll be somehow hugely popular. They are definitely writing partners though.)

Nicholas Adams – ( BMT: Tarot; Notes: Maybe the original writer? His only credit.)

Actors – Harriet Slater – ( Known For: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny; BMT: Tarot; Notes: Was in the show Pennyworth, and is in an upcoming Outlander spin-off series.)

Adain Bradley – ( Known For: Wrong Turn; Butter; BMT: Tarot; Notes: Obviously is in Industry, and was on The Bold and the Beautiful for years which makes sense. In an A24 film called Warfare coming out this year.)

Jacob Batalon – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Spider-Man: No Way Home; Spider-Man: Homecoming; Spider-Man: Far from Home; Lift; Let It Snow; Every Day; Blood Fest; Shortcomings; Banana Split; BMT: Tarot; Notes: Spiderman guy. You’d recognize him. He’s also in Novocaine, and in some upcoming mystery movie (show?) called The Wrecking Crew.)

Budget/Gross – $8 million / Domestic: $18,771,004 (Worldwide: $49,256,239)

(That’s fine. Didn’t need the worldwide. Again, Horror can do no wrong. You basically can’t lose money with tiny films like this.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (11/63)

(Let’s go for a consensus: Personality-less and trite, you’ve seen all this before, and with a PG-13 rating you are guaranteed not to be scared.)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s trying to be everything at once, and ends up feeling flimsy, empty, and again, very, very frustrating. – Matthew Jackson, AV Club

Poster – Larr-O

(It honestly seems a tad cheap. That gross hand. The death card. The only mildly interesting font. I’m not feeling it. C-.)

Tagline(s) – Your fate is in the cards. (D)

(Yeah, I know. It’s tarot. Bah, try harder, Tarot. I want to love you so much.)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Road House (2024), The Substance (2024), The Beekeeper (2024)

Future BMT: 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024), 61.6 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 27.4 Slingshot (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 19.0 Reagan (2024), 16.7 Here (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), Night Swim (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)

Best Options (Horror): 65.6 Tarot (2024), 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024)

(I wonder if we’ll ever get to Imaginary. The Exorcism is probably going to happen only because there will be some allured in completing Russell Crowe films at some point. But Imaginary? Might be for the real Betty Buckley-heads.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 26) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Olwen Fouéré is No. 8 billed in Tarot and No. 3 billed in The Watchers, which also stars Dakota Fanning (No. 1 billed) who is in The Cat in the Hat (No. 2 billed) which also stars Mike Myers (No. 1 billed) who is in The Love Guru (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jessica Alba (No. 2 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 2 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (8 + 3) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 26. If we were to watch Hide and Seek we can get the HoE Number down to 23.

Notes – Loosely based on the 1992 novel “Horrorscope”, written by Nicholas Adams.

The tarot card deck used in the movie was specifically created for it.

The title card appears nearly 17 minutes into the run-time.

The directors Spenser Cohen and Anna Halberg are among the well-wishers in Hailey’s email.

Elise is a Libra, Lucas is a Capricorn, Madeline is a Pisces, Paxton is a Taurus, Grant is a Leo, Hayley is an Aquarius and Paige is Virgo